Colorado boys punished by school administrators for pretending index fingers are guns.

May 15, 2002 4:40 PM

Colorado boys punished by school administrators for pretending index fingers are guns. The boys were shooting at imaginary aliens. One administrator says they "demonstrated a level of aggression" that violates the school's zero-tolerance policy toward violence.
posted by swift (29 comments total)

Andrew said. "I feel like I've lost control over the lessons I want to teach my son."

That pretty much sums it up. How sad. Parents failed, schools stepped in... but now its more obvious than ever that the schools can't do the job that parents are supposed to do. Its just not going to work.
posted by tomplus2 at 4:56 PM on May 15, 2002

They were rolling around . . . and it demonstrated a level of aggression

Ooh! Rolling around! I expect floor exercises in the Olympics to be discontinued as a result.
posted by WolfDaddy at 4:56 PM on May 15, 2002

Dear Congressman,

I declare a plan to administer finger-locks....
posted by Mach3avelli at 4:59 PM on May 15, 2002

Another victory for zero-tolerance policies!
posted by gramcracker at 5:06 PM on May 15, 2002

i feel safer
posted by tsarfan at 5:13 PM on May 15, 2002

The Bumpersticker I'm working on:
"When Play Guns from the shape of Fingers become illegal only Outlaws will have Play Guns from the shape of fingers"
posted by mkelley at 5:31 PM on May 15, 2002

At least one other student and a playground monitor thought the March 25 game displayed "violent and aggressive behavior," said Mary Terch, executive director of elementary education for Cherry Creek Schools.

That's right, a whole one other student was put off by the game, not counting the many others who likely kept silent out of fear of being shot with a finger.
posted by Ty Webb at 5:32 PM on May 15, 2002

Another nail in the coffin... but it won't die! Get the gasoline and the chainsaw, quickly!
posted by darukaru at 5:39 PM on May 15, 2002

I wonder if it even crosses their minds that, in this Internet age, they will become a laughing-stock for the entire world?

Honestly, the parents should sue them. A couple of good court precedents punishing school administrators for abdicating their responsibilities, violating children's rights, and generally being stupid will see the end of zero-tolerance.

Ash.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:44 PM on May 15, 2002

This is really getting scary. My son is in preschool, and delights in games involving (imaginary) swordplay (he's heavily into being Peter Pan) and has been known to brandish a finger or two in a threatening, and (shudder!) gunlike manner.

I'm very laid back, but if I found myself in a similar encounter with one of these administrative drones, I would be tempted to poke him/her in the eyeball.

"Oops, sorry 'bout the retina. I have very expressive hands..."
posted by groundhog at 5:44 PM on May 15, 2002

mkelley:

How about "You can have my finger when you pry it from my cold, dead hand".
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:46 PM on May 15, 2002

The boys were shooting at imaginary aliens.

Well, I know the children were cited for violence, but what is more troubling is their foolish waste of school material and the attendant loss of educational productivity. Do these children think that pretend finger-phaser power-packs grow on trees? They cost the school and the taxpayers money. What if real aliens had attacked the schoolyard, and all the finger weapons had been wasted on imaginary aliens? Then what would they have to say for themselves?
posted by crunchburger at 6:11 PM on May 15, 2002

I remember when I used to run around with water guns with my friends pretending to be on secret missions to blow up the Enemy base. The WTTW satellite dishes were our usual targets. Nobody paid any attention to us and sometimes people would play along. It would be impossible for a kid to screw around like that now without somebody calling the cops. That's pretty damn sad. No wonder kids sit on their butts all day. They don't know what's ok anymore thanks to the spaz adults.
posted by @homer at 6:19 PM on May 15, 2002

well then, i hope they don't expect to run to the boys for help when the imaginary aliens take over the world...
posted by lotsofno at 6:22 PM on May 15, 2002

ha, wouldn't it be a nice world though, when even that level of violence isn't tolerated?

until they go home to GTA III of course :)
posted by rhyax at 6:45 PM on May 15, 2002

ha, wouldn't it be a nice world though, when even that level of violence isn't tolerated?

But then who would kill the plants?
posted by HTuttle at 7:14 PM on May 15, 2002

What if they had been going after an imaginary Osama with loaded fingers? Wouldn't that be a whopper of a moral dilemma for the authorities? Can't wait til these kids grow up and are required to go shoot at US enemies with real guns.

Colorado boys punished by school administrators for having male genitalia. The boys were using the genitalia to relieve their bladders in the school restroom. One administrator says they "demonstrated a level of masculinity" that violates their zero-tolerance policy toward penises.
posted by Poagao at 7:28 PM on May 15, 2002

How about "You can have my finger when you pry it from my cold, dead hand".

LOL
posted by rushmc at 8:01 PM on May 15, 2002

I wonder if they had a "zero tolerance" rule about witches in Salem?
posted by ArkIlloid at 8:10 PM on May 15, 2002

I think everyone here should remember this. Once the current crop of politicians have retired and the new "x-gen political reign" begins, remember what you hated now.
posted by Neale at 8:18 PM on May 15, 2002

these dummies should be more worried about the insidious threat of VANILLA COKE.
posted by clango at 8:31 PM on May 15, 2002

I wonder how principal Darci Mickle will feel when she's being assaulted by invading aliens and there are no strapping young American lads around to protect her because they've all been reeducated into flouncing, over-sensitive pantywaists? I'll bet you'll be praying for a little finger action then, huh, Darci?
posted by Ty Webb at 11:16 PM on May 15, 2002

That kid has learnt a very important lesson. Don't sign anything. Ever.
posted by vbfg at 12:20 AM on May 16, 2002

"You put that finger away, young man!" [kid puts finger away, into fist] "son, I'm not going to say it again, this agressive behavior has got ot go! Now put you hands in your pocket and get back to class..."
posted by tomplus2 at 5:54 AM on May 16, 2002

Boy howdy...I can tell raising my kid is going to be more work than anticipated...not the kid part...the dealing with the idiots who theoretically have control over him/her part.

Maybe the waldorf/montessori school option allows kids to have an imagination. Every kid I knew played cowboys and indians...(now I suppose that's politically incorrect as well as exhibiting aggression...although everyone wanted to be the indians...you got feathers and arrows.).

The country has just gone insane. Just toys in the attic, crazy.
posted by dejah420 at 7:33 AM on May 16, 2002

I blame it on Charlie's Angels
posted by banished at 9:29 AM on May 16, 2002

..that violates the school's zero-tolerance policy toward violence.

We can all sleep easier at night knowing their zero-tolerance policy toward common sense remains intact.
posted by ebarker at 11:09 AM on May 16, 2002

But then who would kill the plants?

jesus, we'd only eat fruits of course.
posted by rhyax at 11:32 AM on May 16, 2002

But then who would kill the plants?
if grass could scream i'd mow the lawn every day.
posted by quonsar at 6:29 PM on May 16, 2002