“This is not going to go the way you think!”

January 18, 2018 7:53 AM

MRAs Make 46-Minute Cut Of ‘The Last Jedi’ That Edits Out All The Women [Pedestrian] “Uploaded to The Pirate Bay yesterday by an anonymous user, the “The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit” is, according to their own description “basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff“. You might be wondering how this is possible, seeing as the film is still a ways off from its DVD release date, but the intrepid nerdlinger(s) who decided to make this possible were so impatient for a version of TLJ where boys don’t get old off that they used a dodgy camrip with hardcoded subtitles.”

• Star Wars: The Last Jedi cast dunks on sexist fan edit that cut out women [Polygon]

“People should know by now that if you do something egregious online, the internet will find a way to dunk on you. Such is the case with a recent attempt to reimagine Star Wars: The Last Jedi without any of the female actors involved. A report from Pedestrian cited a 46-minute version of The Last Jedi, titled The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit, which accomplished its goal of removing almost any appearance of a woman in the movie, save certain characters like General Leia Organa. To compare, the full-length version of The Last Jedi runs for more than two and a half hours. Notice of the fan edit made its way to Twitter, where director Rian Johnson added his own commentary to the conversation floating around Twitter about the movie.”

• An MRA Edited the Women Out of 'The Last Jedi' and It's as Bad as You Think [Broadly/Vice]

“The Chauvinist Cut, on the other hand, reminded me of when the audio on a strategy video game fucks up and leaves your army characters repeating the same phrases over each other, like "Taking heavy losses!", "Fire on the speeders!", and "That's an order!" Most coverage of the cut would have you believe that there are simply no women left in the fan-edit, but that's not totally accurate. As the movie opens with General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson) about to fire on the Resistance, we actually see two women on his ship. They remain in the fan-edit, but they also don't have names and only say things like, "Armed and ready, sir," and "It's never going to penetrate our armor!" (See what I mean about a malfunctioning video game?) That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of The Chauvinist Cut. Women do exist in this dark-sided universe, but they must stay silent unless they are prompting male characters along with perfunctory dialogue. Rose, for instance, only has about three lines left in the edit, and the storyline with her sister as well as her adventure with Finn to the gambling planet of Elerion are totally cut.”

• Everybody’s Dunking on This Sexist, "No Women" Fan Edit of 'The Last Jedi' [Inverse]

“Where would the new Star Wars movie be without its many powerful female figures? At least this one guy wants to know, because he’s so unhappy with The Last Jedi that he turned the 152-minute movie into a 46-minute episode of men doing things in space. The user describes the cut as “basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff.” What does that translate to? There’s no Admiral Holdo at all, Kylo Ren kills Leia in a series of non-emo epic moments, and Rey’s powers are nerfed significantly, with heavy edits made to the epic Kylo and Rey team-up against Snoke’s guards: “Kylo takes on more of Snoke’s guards, Rey struggles with a single one.” In this version, Kylo Ren “is more badass and much less conflicted and volatile,” inexplicably becoming the hero of the story despite literally assuming leadership of the First Order — which is already the Nazi regime of the Star Wars Universe to begin with. Every female character’s role is diminished or eliminated, with the description even going so far as to say, “No bomber heroism by china girl in the beginning.””

posted by Fizz (109 comments total)

I half think that someone made this as an epic troll of MRA types.

And if that's the case, it's working incredibly well, and it's also brilliant.
posted by SansPoint at 7:55 AM on January 18, 2018 [18 favorites]

I half think that someone made this as an epic troll of MRA types.

I wish this were the case, but I honestly think it's just some terrible MRA dudebro with too much time on his hands.
posted by Fizz at 7:56 AM on January 18, 2018 [13 favorites]

This is hilarious. There is no way this makes the MRA agenda look anything but insane. I'm not even mad.
posted by habeebtc at 7:57 AM on January 18, 2018 [18 favorites]

Fizz: Oh, I wouldn't at all be surprised if it were sincere. I guess it's Poe's Law in action. (Not Poe Dameron, though.)
posted by SansPoint at 7:58 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

It's like these guys just keep punching themselves in the balls and expect us to applaud.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:01 AM on January 18, 2018 [42 favorites]

Feminized

I'm from one of those places that spells it as feminised, so when I read it I thought it said 'Feminazi' for a second. It reminded me of something I read the other day:

@GreyTheTick
I notice the usage of "Feminazi" has dropped off considerably now that anti-feminists have decided that the Nazis weren't all that bad actually.

posted by kersplunk at 8:01 AM on January 18, 2018 [185 favorites]

Wookie eats the Porg

Mens Rights in a nutshell.
posted by muddgirl at 8:04 AM on January 18, 2018 [16 favorites]

The hatred that MRAs have for women is not surprising. I'm angry that these idiots are still a thing and still feel like they need to do this kind of nonsense.

But another part of me is just angry that they're using a CAM version for this edit. I mean, at least wait until there's a proper DVD screener to hack and edit into your terrible bullshit ideology. Have some self-respect sexist dudebros!
posted by Fizz at 8:05 AM on January 18, 2018 [10 favorites]

Kylo takes on more of Snoke’s guards, Rey struggles with a single one.

That's just STUPID. Like inexcusably ridiculous and stupid. The whole point is that they're both kicking ass in that scene and working together, so there's clear potential for one of them to flip and join the other.

The MRA stuff is awful all its own, but the utter lack of ability to tell a half way decent story is just appalling.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:11 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

basically The Last Jedi minus Girlz Powah and other silly stuff


Impressive. Every word in that sentence was wrong.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:11 AM on January 18, 2018 [76 favorites]

*files under "evidence to cite against anyone who suggests that masculinity isn't fragile"*
posted by Gymnopedist at 8:13 AM on January 18, 2018 [68 favorites]

Also, I think Vox Day may have too much time on his hands.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:16 AM on January 18, 2018 [7 favorites]

We can now probably expect the American alt-right to release an edit with all people of color removed.
posted by JohnFromGR at 8:19 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

JohnFromGR: Considering the overlap between the alt-right and MRAs, they can do an edit of the MRA edit to remove all PoC, cutting it down to the length of an average sitcom. Or less.
posted by SansPoint at 8:20 AM on January 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

Each time I see this story, I laugh. It's just so ... own goal.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:24 AM on January 18, 2018 [15 favorites]

I wonder what the Venn diagram is of MRAs vs extreme homophobes and betting there is some really significant overlap

Because the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest... I mean, really... did they think about that for more than a second? Because thinking about how that will make their heads a'splode when they realize what they have done is cracking me up a bit
posted by caution live frogs at 8:25 AM on January 18, 2018 [7 favorites]

Weirdly, I've run across quite a few MRAs who are gay. One of my (former) friends is an MRA who is gay. At least, well - I don't have to worry about those MRAs trying to use shitty pick-up strategies and treating their female partners like trash.

I'm really curious about what their experiences are like in MRA circles, though. Like, is their hatred of women enough that it can be the basis of a truce with homophobic MRAs, or do they have to carve out their own groups?
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 8:31 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

Wouldn't it have been easier to make a 46 minute edit of gorillas fighting with a John Williams score on top instead? It would probably make as much sense and satisfy the demographic who are interested in this edit. "The Last Jedi - Gorilla Channel Edit".
posted by Kinski's Ghost at 8:31 AM on January 18, 2018 [25 favorites]

Considering the overlap between the alt-right and MRAs, they can do an edit of the MRA edit to remove all PoC, cutting it down to the length of an average sitcom. Or less.

So, literally just Luke, Kylo, and the various First Order commanders, mostly talking to themselves? That's bringing it down to an 11-minute Adult Swim show.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:33 AM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]

I don't think these losers want women to disappear entirely, just from any roles of significance. women should be there in the background patiently waiting until The Hero^TM needs a blowjob or a sandwich, amirite?
posted by supermedusa at 8:34 AM on January 18, 2018 [7 favorites]

Not that weird, Kutsuwamushi. I know a few gay people who really hate women (there was a deleted thread about that a while back). And the result is that they can really be assholes about how great men are, or something. They've definitely carved out their own group.
posted by Melismata at 8:37 AM on January 18, 2018 [7 favorites]

the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest... I mean, really... did they think about that for more than a second?

The first thing that occurred to me when I heard of this, and its drastically reduced running time, is that every second that was cut out should be replaced by a cock shot. Not even any sexual activity, just a dude or dudes who are letting it all hang out--erect, limp (but still prominent--showers not growers, please!), cut, uncut, it's all good. Of course, at least some of the shitbirds who thought that this was a good idea in the first place would likewise resent the presence of "Chad."
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:44 AM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]

When these twits imagine how they look to other people, what do they see?

Because they look almost incomprehensibly pathetic. Most boys outgrow this literally puerile "girls have cooties" crap by the time they're, like, nine.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 8:56 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

So, The Last Jedi - (((Cultural Marxism))) = 46 minutes?

If only they'd Go Their Own Way and enjoy their shitty dudebro Sparta by themselves, rather than seeking to impose it on the world.
posted by acb at 8:57 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

Most boys outgrow this literally puerile "girls have cooties" crap by the time they're, like, nine.

Problem is, many transition from “girls have cooties” to “girls are desirable prey and confer status”, and never get anywhere near a humanistic world-view.
posted by acb at 8:58 AM on January 18, 2018 [20 favorites]

We are headed for Gazorazorp, aren’t we?

I am hear if you need to talk, ladies.
posted by schadenfrau at 9:06 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

I'm really curious about what their experiences are like in MRA circles, though. Like, is their hatred of women enough that it can be the basis of a truce with homophobic MRAs, or do they have to carve out their own groups?

It'd seem like they'd be a natural fit with the MGTOW crowd.
posted by Dysk at 9:06 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

This is just fucking sad. What a shitty, shriveled life the people who did this must lead.
posted by Caduceus at 9:08 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Observation #2:
Whomever made this Star Wars edit is likely old enough to drive, vote, buy cigarettes and serve liquor.

Observation #1
Someone was seriously ticked off by the Callister episode of Black Mirror.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:10 AM on January 18, 2018 [15 favorites]

I got a few chuckles out of the twitter responses to this, but saw zero reason to investigate any further, so I'm surprised that they used a dodgy camrip with hardcoded subtitles. I'm not exactly a Hollywood insider, but I know people who know people, and there have been awards screener DVDs of TLJ floating around since around Thanksgiving. I was a Star Conscientious Objector as far as the theater is concerned, but finally watched it on DVD over Christmas, and can confirm that the copy I watched didn't have any "Academy Copy, etc" text superimposed over the film like the used to do.

I guess the lesson here is that if you expand your horizons a little bit, and don't spend all your social time with people who reinforce your own ignorant, toxic worldview, you might meet some interesting, creative people who can get you access to DVDs that will let you take the production values of your shitty, tantrum edit of a space fantasy movie - that was probably made for kids way younger than you, anyway - to the next level.
posted by Anoplura at 9:18 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

There's now "The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit: Androgynous Fanedit" up on The Pirate Bay. It's a fanedit fanedit which pretty much just leaves in the droids and starships. It's about 12 minutes long.
posted by Catblack at 9:21 AM on January 18, 2018 [82 favorites]

I had some problems with The Last Jedi (namely the length!) but the fact that some people are so salty about two goddesses ripping apart a dumbass catapults TLJ to the best move of the year in my book.
posted by muddgirl at 9:21 AM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

Let's take this to its illogical conclusion and have an MRA version of The Women with all the women edited out.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:23 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

"...awards screener DVDs of TLJ floating around...finally watched it on DVD over Christmas, and can confirm that the copy I watched didn't have any "Academy Copy, etc" text superimposed over the film like the used to do."

Technical point: Screeners have subtle/digital watermarks peppered in them now for tracking purposes.
posted by CheapB at 9:24 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

Wonder what a no-man cut of the movie would look like? (I haven’t seen any of the new ones.)
posted by Autumnheart at 9:27 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

The Last Jedi: De-Feminized Fanedit

Fanedit... As in edit by fans?

You sir, are not a fan.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:31 AM on January 18, 2018 [15 favorites]

Some of the for-your-condiseration DVD rippers have stated that they're staying away from TLJ because ripping and sharing it would be their undoing, so I imagine the MRA twits would also face similar cease and desist requests with their fan edit, even if they cut out more than half of the movie ... which is particularly hilarious to me. (Sure, the movie had some cruft, but more than half? It wasn't that rambly.)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:33 AM on January 18, 2018

Strange Interlude: literally just Luke, Kylo, and the various First Order commanders, mostly talking to themselves

And this should also be a moment when MRA twits ask "are we the baddies?" Toxic Masculinity Is the True Villain of Star Wars: The Last Jedi -- Let's talk about the competent women and the emotionally-challenged men of The Last Jedi. (Kayti Burt for Den of Geek, Dec 15, 2017 -- MAJOR SPOILERS AHOY)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:39 AM on January 18, 2018 [10 favorites]

Because the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest

No one ever has sex in Star Wars movies, so it's fine.
posted by emjaybee at 9:40 AM on January 18, 2018

BB-9E fucks.
posted by fleacircus at 9:44 AM on January 18, 2018 [16 favorites]

...ok, now I can't get the idea out of my mind of a CGI edit of The Last Jedi where all of the women are replaced with Ewoks. My arguments:

1. The best parts of TLJ (in my surprised-at-the-time opinion) were the Porgs and kid-focused humor. Ewoks only enhance that.

2. With the exception of maybe Rey, I don't think the female characters were well served by the story or dialog, so I think it's less of big deal that it may seem to replace them with CGI teddy bears with no pants on.

3. It would melt all the fanpeoples' minds. The lolz! The japery!

But because a movie that's all robots and Ewoks and space bros (and porgs!) could send the (wrong!) message that we support this no girlz! nonsense, we'll make it fair by replacing all of the male humans with Yodas. Everyone who has seen the movie would agree that Sassy Yoda setting things on fire one of the best things in the TLJ. CGI fire is cheap. Let's load it up! What's that? You have a hot take on whether Finn or Poe should be killed off, or maybe just written better? I just made your opinion obsolete with Two Yodas!
posted by Anoplura at 9:44 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

Because the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest

No one ever has sex in Star Wars movies, so it's fine.

They do, but then they lose the will to live.
posted by lagomorphius at 9:51 AM on January 18, 2018 [21 favorites]

Because the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest

Like the original trilogy?
posted by AlSweigart at 9:54 AM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]

No one ever has sex in Star Wars movies, so it's fine.

— They do, but then they lose the will to live.

The French have a term for this: La Padmé Mort.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:03 AM on January 18, 2018 [75 favorites]

I totally believe fucking Anakin Skywalker could make a person lose the will to live. I nearly lost the will to live after just seeing him try and fail to emote for a few movies.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:19 AM on January 18, 2018 [19 favorites]

Season of the Bitch (leftist women's podcast, so great) had a nice episode dissecting the use of toxic masculinity as villain in TLJ.
posted by Existential Dread at 10:21 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

“So this is how liberty MRA die...with thunderous applause RTs.”
posted by Fizz at 10:30 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I had some problems with The Last Jedi (namely the length!)

OK, not to call anyone out or anything, but I keep seeing people complaining about the length of TLJ and I'm like "why is everyone in such a hurry to leave this awesome fantasy world?" I'll admit to being a fan of shorter running times on the vast majority of movies, but I make a big exception for huge genre epics like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, because those settings demand a certain amount of atmosphere and immersion. Is it just a thing about having to pee?
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:32 AM on January 18, 2018 [16 favorites]

I'm here to endorse Season of the Bitch. Go listen to that episode.

Also, no surprise these wads sympathize with Kylo Ren. Both are threatened by the fact that Rey even exists and gets centralized in this story.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:33 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

. Is it just a thing about having to pee?

I really want INTERMISSION to be brought back to the theatre-watching experience.
posted by Fizz at 10:33 AM on January 18, 2018 [31 favorites]

Also, yeah, it's not your Star Wars any more, because it's ours now, bih! I hope that any redemption offered to Ben Solo in this story comes with a huge serving of groveling, admitting he was wrong as heck, and striving mightily to out-SJW the rest of the Resistance because those nerd tears are going to be as sweet as the finest Amontillado in my wine dungeon.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:37 AM on January 18, 2018 [9 favorites]

I can't usually get through a 60 minute TV show episode without a bathroom break, but I don't want shorter movies when they're an actually good Star Wars movie.
posted by Foosnark at 10:38 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I don't think of Star Wars being in the epic genre, though. I like a tight 90-minute action-adventure, and while TLJ was certainly a tightly-paced movie, it had two distinct endings.
posted by muddgirl at 10:38 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I really want INTERMISSION to be brought back to the theatre-watching experience.

OK, excellent point. I think the most recent movie I saw in a theater with an intermission was Gettysburg. I would think that this would be a welcome trend for theater owners, since they make all their profits on concessions.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:39 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

I've seen a theory in the past few months that adequately fits the available evidence in general, that offers a glimpse into *how* these MRAs are rationalizing their misogyny and dehumanization to themselves.

There are a lot of men (MRAs) and women (Promise Keepers) who consider women "non-player characters" (NPCs).

In their view: Men are players, Women are non-players (NPCs). Players have free will, non-players do not. Players go out into the world and do things, non-players handle all the dreary "reality" chores (cleaning, birthing, teaching).

In games, you can't have a galaxy without NPCs, but few care what they have to say. Most game players walk up at any time of day or night, ignore their scripted lines, and take whatever they want from the NPC (quests, items, sex), by gold or by force. Few games offer any penalty to mistreating an NPC* But when women go "off script" in reality, these people react as though it's a bug in the game they're playing, rather than a multiplayer interaction between equals.

So when you take this to the logical extreme and start applying in-game morality to men dehumanizing women, you get MRAs getting angry that a Star Wars movie (male leads, ep. 1-6) has NPCs leading the story, and responding by cutting out the irrelevant NPC chatter so they can focus on the actual players and plot.

Description is not endorsement. I am dead set against this entire category of thought as a working model for dealing with reality - games, men, women, pets, all of it. But we can't have change without understanding, and so the analogy is drawn.

* In Dark Souls, if you accidentally attack a vendor, they'll never sell to you again, or something like that anyways.
posted by crysflame at 10:39 AM on January 18, 2018 [47 favorites]

Business Insider seems to think I want shorter movies because I'm a millennial.
posted by muddgirl at 10:39 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Who cares how MRAs rationalize their shittiness? It's the same "logic" that racists, transphobes and homophobes use to justify dehumanizing the rest of us. It's not worthy of engaging as if by pointing out the logical flaws, they can be convinced to change their views. If the starting point is that X group doesn't count as human, we're done treating that as "debate" or "discussion" and those people can see the error of their ways or get Dracarysed into the ether.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:43 AM on January 18, 2018 [10 favorites]

I really want INTERMISSION to be brought back to the theatre-watching experience.

This sounded like a great idea until I realized that the modern incarnation wouldn't be so much intermission as 20 extra minutes of loud commercials for Pepsi and the US Army.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:46 AM on January 18, 2018 [19 favorites]

Because the idea of an entire universe where they have removed the women so it's like a galactic sausage fest

Like the original trilogy?

Came here to make this joke. Like LOTR, the original Star Wars is pretty much a disaster wrt gender politics.

Except that in my imagines Han Solo is just one gender of wookie, that's what that one looks like. It all works out. And the beeping trash can robot is the other partner in their triple, which they need in order to reproduce.
posted by aspersioncast at 10:47 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

> Who cares how MRAs rationalize

I care, because it sets the tone of how I discuss them with non-MRAs. If they consider women inhuman, I can skip a lot of intermediate stages. I don't think many privileged (e.g. white men) people realize what "dehumanizing" means, though, not in their gut and heart. But no one I know of wants to be considered an NPC, and so that offers me a key insight for conveying what it's like to be dehumanized to well-intended people who don't understand how horrible it feels.
posted by crysflame at 10:48 AM on January 18, 2018 [13 favorites]

Alternate edits

Last Jedi, except:

Directed by George Lucas
Stormtroopers wear fedoras
Every blaster and cannon bolt is slow-mo and Wilhelm screams
Kylo shirtless in every convo
Elevators all have Muzak, jails all have a wistful harmonica player
Directed by JJ Abrams. Every scene uses "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys
All of Luke's dialog redubbed to complain about lack of fiber in diet
All ship displays taken from Star Trek: TOS
BB-8 and evil BB-8 scored as a love story
posted by zippy at 10:49 AM on January 18, 2018 [19 favorites]

I really want INTERMISSION to be brought back to the theatre-watching experience.

OK, excellent point. I think the most recent movie I saw in a theater with an intermission was Gettysburg. I would think that this would be a welcome trend for theater owners, since they make all their profits on concessions.

I saw one of the prequels in Iceland where they have some kind of mandatory intermission. They stopped the movie right in the middle of some big fight scene so everybody could go get snacks, have a smoke, or whatever.

Also, the intermission at Gettysburg when I saw it: giant line snaking down around the hall to the mens room. No line for the ladies.
posted by lagomorphius at 10:50 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I notice the usage of "Feminazi" has dropped off considerably now that anti-feminists have decided that the Nazis weren't all that bad actually.

I loved this joke enough to look at Google Trends and Reddit ngrams but couldn't find any interesting declines in the use of that word. A Twitter ngram corpus would probably be better, but I can't find one easily available.
posted by straight at 10:50 AM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

I've consumed so much Star-Wars-adjacent media lately that I have no idea where this came from, but BB-8 is feminine and the "BB" stands for Bad Bitch.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 10:55 AM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

Intermissions might mean the theater would sell more concessions, but they would also mean the studio would sell fewer tickets, particularly in the first few weeks where they make all of their money.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:59 AM on January 18, 2018

I'm dying here:

"None of that, however, stops The Chauvinist Cut from achieving what is probably its most unintentional goal: making the world's dullest, most perplexing piece of homoerotic fanfiction.

'The Last Jedi homoerotic fanfiction' sounds great in theory, but The Chauvinist Cut is both boring and chaste. (It doesn't help that the topless scene with Kylo Ren has been taken out completely.) The bulk of the 'film' consists of men speaking to each other, brooding over each other, staring intensely into each other’s eyes, and sacrificing themselves for each other. At one point, Hux captures Finn and slaps him. Until that edited scene, I'd never before noticed that Hux is styled like a masc Berlin DJ waiting in line to get into Berghain—but it totally works for him"
posted by Kitty Stardust at 11:00 AM on January 18, 2018 [19 favorites]

> Dysk:
"I'm really curious about what their experiences are like in MRA circles, though. Like, is their hatred of women enough that it can be the basis of a truce with homophobic MRAs, or do they have to carve out their own groups?

It'd seem like they'd be a natural fit with the MGTOW crowd."

It makes me happy when I have to Google acronyms like that.
posted by Samizdata at 11:14 AM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

I got a few chuckles out of the twitter responses to this, but saw zero reason to investigate any further, so I'm surprised that they used a dodgy camrip with hardcoded subtitles. I'm not exactly a Hollywood insider, but I know people who know people, and there have been awards screener DVDs of TLJ floating around since around Thanksgiving.

I've always said the worst thing about MRAs is that they suck at piracy.

No, wait, I mean misogyny. The misogyny is the worst part. Even worse than the incompetent piracy.
posted by straight at 11:56 AM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

I love the bit about removing all internal conflict from the Resistance. They actually want the movie to be more boring.
posted by brundlefly at 12:07 PM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

"Wookie eats the Porg" - is it possible to read that without immediately appending "hi-ho the derry-o"?
posted by sincarne at 12:10 PM on January 18, 2018 [27 favorites]

I love the bit about removing all internal conflict from the Resistance. They actually want the movie to be more boring.

It's also in keeping with the way a certain (mostly older/male) section of the fandom insists on treating Star Wars as cut-and-dried military SF, along the lines of the duller Star Trek episodes and novels.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:24 PM on January 18, 2018 [4 favorites]

John Boyega and Mark Hamill also weighed in: https://twitter.com/JohnBoyega/status/953395150356705280
posted by spindrifter at 12:45 PM on January 18, 2018

Directed by JJ Abrams. Every scene uses "Sabotage" by the Beastie Boys

Except the final scene and credits, which are scored to Walk of Life.
posted by orrnyereg at 12:59 PM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

Who cares how MRAs rationalize their shittiness?

I appreciated the thoughts from crysflame. I have opportunities to meaningfully engage with people who might just fall the right way off the MRA fence, and it's useful for me to share approaches and analyses that might help me nudge them in the right direction. I appreciate, too, though, how shitty it must be to have "here's how MRAs think!" shoved in your face at every turn.
posted by clawsoon at 1:12 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Fanedit... As in edit by fans?

You sir, are not a fan.

Foeedit
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:44 PM on January 18, 2018 [3 favorites]

Seeing "cut-and-dried military SF" makes me think immediately of Honor Harrington and also "Ancillary Justice", neither of which would go over very well!
posted by crysflame at 1:49 PM on January 18, 2018 [10 favorites]

Who cares how MRAs rationalize their shittiness?

I find the NPC metaphor to be incredibly useful because it's really, really not just MRAs who want women to be NPC . It's actually the default setting of the world, and people get really uncomfortable when that model cracks. A major party female candidate for president cracks it. Women in major corporations who advance past middle management crack it. Women speaking up about harassment and assault crack it. Women showing up at your con as participants instead of booth babes crack it. And every time something like that happens you get a wide range of protest -- shrieks and howls from self-avowed MRAs, sure, but also vague unease and "I just don't like her" from a lot of people far, far outside those circles.
posted by mrmurbles at 1:53 PM on January 18, 2018 [42 favorites]

great disturbance in the subreddit = felt
posted by thelonius at 1:53 PM on January 18, 2018

Any time I see the acronym "MGTOW" it always reminds me of this, which is probably not what they intended.


Elevators all have Muzak, jails all have a wistful harmonica player

God help me, I would watch this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:59 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

MRAs: settle for 30% of the story and don’t even understand that.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:11 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Why are they calling it a "fan edit"? If you're hacking up the story that much, you're not a fucking fan.
posted by notsnot at 2:17 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

And I thought Old Luke would be the Patron Saint of Men Going Their Own Way.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:22 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Except it turns out Good-Old Luke is their worst SJW nightmare.
posted by straight at 3:34 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

(It doesn't help that the topless scene with Kylo Ren has been taken out completely.)

I imagine that topless Emo Vader would be the Geralt-in-the-tub of triggering fragile-masculinity sufferers worried that they may (in reality, or in someone else's opinion) be turned gay and thus have their Man Card revoked.
posted by acb at 4:12 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

women should be there in the background patiently waiting until The HeroTM needs a blowjob or a sandwich, amirite?

There's no mating for losers.
posted by flabdablet at 4:39 PM on January 18, 2018 [1 favorite]

Ancillary Justice

People should read this. It's vastly better than any Star Wars story.
posted by Coventry at 5:16 PM on January 18, 2018 [5 favorites]

*waves hand*

This is not the version you are looking for.
posted by delfin at 5:43 PM on January 18, 2018

It has already inspired critical fanworks. Enjoy these women-only versions of two film classics...
posted by notquitemaryann at 5:48 PM on January 18, 2018 [6 favorites]

> I've seen a theory in the past few months...

This certainly fits my experience. After the recent thread about Overwatch League not having any female players, I started responding to people talking about the league during games by mentioning this, and the response tended to be "Good. it's a Man's Game."
posted by I-Write-Essays at 6:15 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

That's bringing it down to an 11-minute Adult Swim show.

"Oh jeez, he's crying!"

women should be there in the background patiently waiting until The HeroTM needs a blowjob or a sandwich, amirite?

Laserblowjobs and lasersandwiches? /threadleak
posted by loquacious at 6:42 PM on January 18, 2018

I've got your laser blow job right here...
posted by medusa at 7:12 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Rian Johnson added his own commentary to the conversation floating around Twitter

I misread this as Rian Johnson had done his own DVD commentary to this, as if he had directed the de-feminized version. Imagine him trying to explain the plot holes and other nonsense as intentional. Mark Hamill and Adam Driver could chime in occasionally and talk about how they really struggled to express the depth of loneliness in their characters.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:11 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

> Coventry:
"Ancillary Justice

People should read this. It's vastly better than any Star Wars story."

I am, in fact, insulted most gravely that you spuriously assume I haven't.
posted by Samizdata at 8:39 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

> loquacious:
"That's bringing it down to an 11-minute Adult Swim show.

"Oh jeez, he's crying!"

women should be there in the background patiently waiting until The HeroTM needs a blowjob or a sandwich, amirite?

Laserblowjobs and lasersandwiches? /threadleak"

Yeah, good thing no one noticed the part where the laserdong goes through the hero's abdomen for a second.
posted by Samizdata at 8:40 PM on January 18, 2018

As much as they have been publicly laughing at it, I am sure the filmmakers are disappointed in themselves that they left this idiot 46 minutes from a 152 minute movie to work with.
posted by ckape at 9:24 PM on January 18, 2018 [2 favorites]

Dorkly: We Recut The Last Jedi to Remove All the Men:

You might have seen a story floating around this week about a recent fan edit of Star Wars: The Last Jedi that removes almost every woman from the movie. The cut is 46 minutes long and nearly incomprehensible, proving how important women are in the Disney era of Star Wars. In fact, women are so vital to The Last Jedi that you could probably remove all the men and still have a functioning, dare I say exciting story. I mention this because that's what I've been working on the past couple days: The Last Jedi: De-Meninized Fanedit. A relief to those who didn't like the original movie, and a testament to how women get things done faster, the manless edit runs at a mere 36 minutes.
posted by Pendragon at 1:57 AM on January 19, 2018 [12 favorites]

So, does this mean it's a 46-minute-long movie in which guys repeatedly fuck up and there are no competent women to save their asses? Because that's what TLJ would be without the female characters.

I mean, in a way, I guess I'm ok with a movie in which guys repeatedly fuck up and have to deal with the consequences of their own actions.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 6:28 AM on January 19, 2018

No, of course they cut out all the incompetence too.
posted by muddgirl at 6:41 AM on January 19, 2018 [2 favorites]

I've got your laser blow job right here...

You stay away from me with that, I wasn't asking for one!
posted by loquacious at 10:48 AM on January 19, 2018

flames

flames coming out of the side of my face
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:44 PM on January 19, 2018

I'm with the "I can't even feel offended because I'm too busy pointing and laughing" crowd. But what makes this even funnier for me personally is that I only recently binged the episodes II-VII (in Machete order) with my youngest daughter - who just turned 13 - and somewhere about halfway through A New Hope we had to pause the movie because we were both like "wait, why aren't there almost any women in this universe"?

So we floated a few ideas (a pandemic affecting mostly women?) until we settled on this backstory that the SW universe is a world where some time ago, women have finally grown fed up with the way men keep fucking things up, so most of them have migrated to a parallel universe, or maybe some other galaxy. Which is this awesome place where they're just chilling, working together and having fun ("totally squad goals", as my kid put it), and just occasionally skimming through the news from Man World and facepalming. Like "omfg Barb you gotta see this, those dumbasses are building a Death Star now." Only the foolhardiest women, such as Leia and Padme, choose to stay in the SW universe to try to fix things, but you can see how well that goes for them: at first Padme kicks ass a bit, and then just ends up sitting in an apartment worrying about Anakin until she dies.

Btw, if you watch the original trilogy with a very young, very nerdy feminist who has grown unencumbered by some of the toxic ideas we were infused with in the 70's and 80's, you'll find out she will not not get why Han Solo is supposed to be awesome. I mentioned to her how he was a huge fan-favourite, and she stared at me wide-eyed: really? My kid had been expecting him to turn out to be (or become) a baddie, because he was such a jerk towards Leia all the time. She could not fathom how that character was supposed to be crushy at any point in movie history. (And as her mother may I add: thank goddess for that.)

Anyway, then we went to see The Last Jedi, and for us it was like The Return of the Women. They've finally decided enough of this nonsense! They've womanned their starships, assumed command and come back as rescuers and resistance fighters, and that's where we are now.

I loved this movie. I loved it when the lights came on in the theater and my kid turned to me with shining eyes and said it was one of the best movie experiences she's ever had. She loves, loves, loves Rey. And Rose, and how she set free the race track beasts. And we both want a porg. "And it passed the Bechdel test!" she pointed out.

So when we heard about this edit we both just had a chuckle - to us, someone's created an alternate history, where women continue to give no fucks about Man Galaxy, who can then keep fucking things up to the soundtrack of a neverending Wilhelm scream. Who cares? It's pizza Friday over at the Women's World, followed by a Porg Agility show, and some wild dancing around the bonfires of fragile masculinity.
posted by sively at 1:57 AM on January 20, 2018 [20 favorites]

you'll find out she will not not get why Han Solo is supposed to be awesome.

Yep. My daughters watched Empire Strikes Back for the first time a few years ago as teenagers and they were Not Having Any Of Han's Bullshit. For them, the grimdark ending was not Han getting frozen or Luke losing a hand, it was Leia inexplicably telling Han she loves (why?!) him.
posted by straight at 2:44 AM on January 20, 2018 [5 favorites]

> So we floated a few ideas (a pandemic affecting mostly women?) until we settled on this backstory that the SW universe is a world where some time ago, women have finally grown fed up with the way men keep fucking things up, so most of them have migrated to a parallel universe, or maybe some other galaxy. Which is this awesome place where they're just chilling, working together and having fun ("totally squad goals", as my kid put it), and just occasionally skimming through the news from Man World and facepalming. Like "omfg Barb you gotta see this, those dumbasses are building a Death Star now."

Star Wars VII ½: Crone Galaxy
posted by Spathe Cadet at 5:02 AM on January 20, 2018 [8 favorites]

I really want INTERMISSION to be brought back to the theatre-watching experience.

One of my favourite things over the last couple of years has been going home for Christmas and my parents taking me to see the new Star Wars film. The single-screen cinema in the small market town in Kent near to where they live is old, and could probably do with a little refurbishment, but the joy of watching the films is that come half-time there's an interval, and you can pop down the stairs and buy an ice-cream.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 6:15 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]

I love the bit about removing all internal conflict from the Resistance. They actually want the movie to be more boring.
posted by brundlefly at 12:07 PM on January 18 [6 favorites +] [!]

"Complex, nuanced storytelling is for cucks and feminazis!!!"

Maybe one day there’ll be a mass poisoning from a contaminated batch of Mountain Dew Xtreeeeeem Food Colouring.

Then these boys’ parents will rest easy knowing that there’s one less burden on their income & resources.
posted by tantrumthecat at 6:31 AM on January 20, 2018 [1 favorite]

you'll find out she will not not get why Han Solo is supposed to be awesome

Very much word. I hadn't watched Empire and actually paid real attention for several years but we're in full indoctrinate-the-youngling mode right now so we actually watched it proper while snowed in and wow that is a character that has not aged well at all. My kid is still too young to comment on it himself but I was just cringing. It's really bad.

I was always a Luke girl, which I've always assumed is because I'm kind of a no-fun know-it-all Suzy Rule Follower, but maybe it's because I'm not an emotionally stunted, negging, gross sexual harasser as well. It turns out in TFA that he did not magically become perfectly perfect 1000% (though, like, your son becoming No. 2 to a murderous Fascist space warlock will do a number on anyone) and I'm like, well gosh who possibly could have seen that coming?
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:01 AM on January 20, 2018 [3 favorites]

"Complex, nuanced storytelling is for cucks and feminazis!!!"

Authoritarians hate ambiguity, because in it lies the potential for subversion and dissent. The official propaganda art of totalitarian regimes (think North Korean propaganda films and such) has wooden, one-dimensional characters because anything more than that would risk a one-way trip to the gulag for all responsible. The Star Wars MRA Cut should be interpreted in this tradition.

Maybe one day there’ll be a mass poisoning from a contaminated batch of Mountain Dew Xtreeeeeem Food Colouring.

When making extra-baconated tactical gunmetal cupcakes for bros?
posted by acb at 9:15 AM on January 20, 2018 [4 favorites]

flames coming out of the side of my face

Lightsabre practice is all fun and games until somebody loses an eye.
posted by flabdablet at 10:54 PM on January 20, 2018

Dorkly: We Recut The Last Jedi to Remove All the Men:

You might have seen a story floating around this week about a recent fan edit of Star Wars: The Last Jedi that removes almost every woman from the movie. The cut is 46 minutes long and nearly incomprehensible, proving how important women are in the Disney era of Star Wars. In fact, women are so vital to The Last Jedi that you could probably remove all the men and still have a functioning, dare I say exciting story. I mention this because that's what I've been working on the past couple days: The Last Jedi: De-Meninized Fanedit. A relief to those who didn't like the original movie, and a testament to how women get things done faster, the manless edit runs at a mere 36 minutes.

Fella name of Logan James has carried this on and produced man-free edits of Saving Private Ryan (2m 20s) and The Shawshank Redemption (1m 37s).
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:46 PM on January 22, 2018 [4 favorites]