Never stop chest compressions to slap or yell words of encouragement.
March 17, 2018 1:50 PM Subscribe
I'm both a fan of medical dramas and a nurse, and my favourite consistent error is how much nursing TV doctors do. The surgeons on Grey's Anatomy, in particular, spend a ton of time doing other people's jobs!
posted by snorkmaiden at 3:07 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
posted by snorkmaiden at 3:07 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
I hope they have one of these episodes with lawyers. I have a lawyer friend who can watch some shows but not others because the inaccuracies are like nails on a chalkboard.
posted by AFABulous at 3:21 PM on March 17, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by AFABulous at 3:21 PM on March 17, 2018 [5 favorites]
Snorkmaiden, can you give some examples? This is an interesting point that I'd never thought of. How do these tasks break down?
posted by Krawczak at 4:02 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Krawczak at 4:02 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
i love stuff like this! i can't watch anything involving computers or musicians for this reason -- i love hearing about other tv/movies made unbearable by your job
posted by capnsue at 4:34 PM on March 17, 2018
posted by capnsue at 4:34 PM on March 17, 2018
CSI does this for forensic chemistry. What do you mean it takes 2 weeks* to get the answer? They can do it in minutes!
Has apparently done wonders for Agilent and their GC sales.
*a month to 6 weeks really, if we want to to be good enough to go to court.
posted by bonehead at 4:53 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
Has apparently done wonders for Agilent and their GC sales.
*a month to 6 weeks really, if we want to to be good enough to go to court.
posted by bonehead at 4:53 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
My god, who let all this fiction onto television?! This is an outrage.
posted by The River Ivel at 4:58 PM on March 17, 2018 [17 favorites]
posted by The River Ivel at 4:58 PM on March 17, 2018 [17 favorites]
I have the same feeling towards police dramas, in particular any case that could have been solved earlier if the detectives hadn't rushed out the door after asking the witness two questions. And Designated Survivor because it seems to be written by a person who had the Wikipedia entry for "designated survivor" described to them.
I've previously shared a story about CSI style shows affecting my own work.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:18 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
I've previously shared a story about CSI style shows affecting my own work.
posted by dances with hamsters at 5:18 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
One lawyer thing that bugs me is that no one ever appears to specialize: Murder trial one episode, contested divorce the next. Not really a thing unless you’re in a tiny town.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:36 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 5:36 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
I have a lawyer friend who can watch some shows but not others because the inaccuracies are like nails on a chalkboard.
Also, not a litigator, but ‘withdrawn’ isn’t a magic word that lets you avoid mistrial after egregiously out-of-line questions.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:38 PM on March 17, 2018 [17 favorites]
Also, not a litigator, but ‘withdrawn’ isn’t a magic word that lets you avoid mistrial after egregiously out-of-line questions.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:38 PM on March 17, 2018 [17 favorites]
I hope they have one of these episodes with lawyers. I have a lawyer friend who can watch some shows but not others because the inaccuracies are like nails on a chalkboard.
IANAL, but there was one show I quit in disgust when the show had the prosecutor call the defendant to the stand to testify. I was shocked, and then thought “nah, they must be showing the cross-exam” but no, the defense lawyer got up to cross-examine his own client.
posted by nubs at 5:38 PM on March 17, 2018
IANAL, but there was one show I quit in disgust when the show had the prosecutor call the defendant to the stand to testify. I was shocked, and then thought “nah, they must be showing the cross-exam” but no, the defense lawyer got up to cross-examine his own client.
posted by nubs at 5:38 PM on March 17, 2018
Time is myocardium, people.
posted by fatbird at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by fatbird at 5:39 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
ARRRGH!!! So, it's 1996. I'm 18 years old, fresh off a 3-month EMS crash course that will allow me to pretend to be an EMT for a year, instead of being called a maggot while crawling through shit and assembling projectile weapons blind folded etc...
And on my first day, this highly qualified paramedic with a decade of experience shows me all the stuff in the ambulance, and we get to the defibrillator, and he's like "well, scale goes from 180 to 360 Joules... used to say Volts, but I figure they're the same." And I'm like GNNNFGH...must-not-try-to-explain-Ohm's-law...
And now this? The SAME THING? A surgical resident? Is there literally no physics requirement in pre-med?? I mean, I'd go see if it really takes 15kV to put 360 joules into a human body in less than a second, but I can't possibly be bothered. Maybe, maybe not, who cares. Let's talk some more about the unrealistically unshaved belly in Spies Like Us.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 5:43 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
And on my first day, this highly qualified paramedic with a decade of experience shows me all the stuff in the ambulance, and we get to the defibrillator, and he's like "well, scale goes from 180 to 360 Joules... used to say Volts, but I figure they're the same." And I'm like GNNNFGH...must-not-try-to-explain-Ohm's-law...
And now this? The SAME THING? A surgical resident? Is there literally no physics requirement in pre-med?? I mean, I'd go see if it really takes 15kV to put 360 joules into a human body in less than a second, but I can't possibly be bothered. Maybe, maybe not, who cares. Let's talk some more about the unrealistically unshaved belly in Spies Like Us.
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 5:43 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
Architects are always given much more interesting jobs in movies and tv, but it’s less irritating than hilarious and envy-inducing. My favorite is The Towering Inferno, where the architect (Paul Newman!) not only has his office at the top of the building he designed but a communicating door from said office to a shag-carpeted bachelor pad.
posted by q*ben at 5:48 PM on March 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by q*ben at 5:48 PM on March 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
Hubs and I are both lawyers; I don't mind at all on Law & Order (for example) when they elide the procedural specifics to dig into an interesting substantive question; he spends the whole episode shouting at the screen, "SHE'D NEVER BE ASKED THIS QUESTION ON THE STAND BECAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN DEPOSED IN ADVANCE!" or "THIS IS NOT EVEN A POSSIBLE PROCESS, AND THEY CAN'T ASK THAT QUESTION ON REDIRECT!" Whereas to me it's clear they're trying to explore a weird edge case with Miranda rights, or taking the 5th, or whatever, and to set up an interesting showdown on that issue, where both sides have excellent points, in under an hour and in a suitably dramatic fashion for TV. I don't mind if they fudge all the procedural and practical stuff to get to the issue showdown, but if they screw up the issue showdown it drives me NUTS.
The Good Wife was the best show for accurate lawyerly minutia, including lawyerly minutia driving the plot from time to time (although actual case stuff was typically sexed up at least somewhat). The scene were all the lawyers are on their phones looking up the ethical rule in immediate question and bickering about which version is current STILL makes me laugh when I think about it.
The Grinder made us both laugh until our sides ached with how it spoofed TV lawyer show failtropes in absolutely hilarious ways. Fred Savage basically all the time was making my husband's exact complaint at the same moment he was making it. Like my husband would be on the couch shouting, "You can't do that!" at Rob Lowe at the same moment Fred Savage turns to him and goes, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:50 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
The Good Wife was the best show for accurate lawyerly minutia, including lawyerly minutia driving the plot from time to time (although actual case stuff was typically sexed up at least somewhat). The scene were all the lawyers are on their phones looking up the ethical rule in immediate question and bickering about which version is current STILL makes me laugh when I think about it.
The Grinder made us both laugh until our sides ached with how it spoofed TV lawyer show failtropes in absolutely hilarious ways. Fred Savage basically all the time was making my husband's exact complaint at the same moment he was making it. Like my husband would be on the couch shouting, "You can't do that!" at Rob Lowe at the same moment Fred Savage turns to him and goes, "YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:50 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
STAT
posted by thelonius at 5:52 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 5:52 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
there was one show I quit in disgust when the show had the prosecutor call the defendant to the stand to testify
I've done this in a civil trial. We needed to get in some facts that we lacked any other way to establish. It was nerve-wracking.
In a criminal trial, of course a defendant could refuse to testify, but that's their choice.
posted by praemunire at 6:07 PM on March 17, 2018
I've done this in a civil trial. We needed to get in some facts that we lacked any other way to establish. It was nerve-wracking.
In a criminal trial, of course a defendant could refuse to testify, but that's their choice.
posted by praemunire at 6:07 PM on March 17, 2018
Krawczak, I'm a nurse and I can help get this list started.
Things doctors do on TV that are actually done by nurses:
Taking vital signs
Starting IVs
Drawing blood
Putting in catheters
Doing EKGs
Surgical prep (hair removal, betadine scrub)
Changing dressings
Removing sutures/staples
Administering medications
Discharge teaching
I'm sure there's more--this is just off the top of my head.
posted by jesourie at 6:41 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
Things doctors do on TV that are actually done by nurses:
Taking vital signs
Starting IVs
Drawing blood
Putting in catheters
Doing EKGs
Surgical prep (hair removal, betadine scrub)
Changing dressings
Removing sutures/staples
Administering medications
Discharge teaching
I'm sure there's more--this is just off the top of my head.
posted by jesourie at 6:41 PM on March 17, 2018 [12 favorites]
One of my pet peeves is when a patient is in a hospital bed with a ventilator working next to them....but they aren’t intubated.
That’s not how any of this works!
posted by maryrussell at 6:51 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
That’s not how any of this works!
posted by maryrussell at 6:51 PM on March 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
My relevant AskMe from last summer is still open for your insights!
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 7:29 PM on March 17, 2018
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 7:29 PM on March 17, 2018
i love hearing about other tv/movies made unbearable by your job
This is in real time!
I'll create a GUI interface using Visual BASIC... see if I can track an IP address.
posted by flabdablet at 7:49 PM on March 17, 2018 [9 favorites]
This is in real time!
I'll create a GUI interface using Visual BASIC... see if I can track an IP address.
posted by flabdablet at 7:49 PM on March 17, 2018 [9 favorites]
I've encouraged my wife to do one for psychiatry. Suffice it to say, depictions in the media are less than totally accurate.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:28 PM on March 17, 2018
posted by Chrysostom at 8:28 PM on March 17, 2018
There was that CSI episode where they pulled a stereo audio file off a clay pot being thrown while someone in the room whispered... as a potter and a nerd about old sound technology I was screaming: WAT!? NOOOOO! EVEN WAX CYLINDERS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT!
Also, me and my wife are artists and go into hysterics when a supposedly "great painter" in any show or movie starts slopping paint on a blank canvas, because underdrawings are how things get put in the right place. Even Picasso used them, people!
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:33 PM on March 17, 2018 [5 favorites]
Also, me and my wife are artists and go into hysterics when a supposedly "great painter" in any show or movie starts slopping paint on a blank canvas, because underdrawings are how things get put in the right place. Even Picasso used them, people!
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:33 PM on March 17, 2018 [5 favorites]
I canNOT watch shows with teachers: they say and do such unprofessional stuff! They go to work drunk or drink there, their friends show up in the school, they never have grading or planning to do, they dress inappropriately, they have all this time to have drama with coworkers, there are like SIXTEEN KIDS IN A CLASS, max. I know you aren’t supposed to show the boring stuff, but the education part is either kids throwing balls of paper or having earth-shattering realizations about how ancient literature really speaks to them.
And mostly, I find the normalization of teacher-student romantic relationships totally deplorable.
posted by MsDaniB at 8:34 PM on March 17, 2018 [13 favorites]
And mostly, I find the normalization of teacher-student romantic relationships totally deplorable.
posted by MsDaniB at 8:34 PM on March 17, 2018 [13 favorites]
My most hated is defibrillating people in asystole. Every time. Every time! IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY I yell at the tv. I have turned into that person yelling at the tv. But seriously IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY.
Seconding the tv shows depicting doctors doing nurses work. Frustrating.
posted by supercrayon at 9:24 PM on March 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
Seconding the tv shows depicting doctors doing nurses work. Frustrating.
posted by supercrayon at 9:24 PM on March 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
my pet peeve about teachers on TV is that they’re always being interrupted at the beginning of a lecture on fundamentals at the end of class
posted by murphy slaw at 9:28 PM on March 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by murphy slaw at 9:28 PM on March 17, 2018 [4 favorites]
I have a lawyer friend who can watch some shows but not others because the inaccuracies are like nails on a chalkboard.
I'll bet your friend absolutely loved Ally McBeal.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:31 PM on March 17, 2018
I'll bet your friend absolutely loved Ally McBeal.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:31 PM on March 17, 2018
As a film programmer, it really chaps my ass that TV shows ALWAYS get film programming wrong.
posted by goatdog at 9:43 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by goatdog at 9:43 PM on March 17, 2018 [2 favorites]
I canNOT watch shows with teachers: they say and do such unprofessional stuff!
I've only ever seen a few scattered minutes of Glee, but every single one of them involved me shouting "YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE THAT WITH KIDS! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED! EVERYBODY SHOULD BE FIRED!"
And mostly, I find the normalization of teacher-student romantic relationships totally deplorable.
Quoted for truth.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:30 PM on March 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
I've only ever seen a few scattered minutes of Glee, but every single one of them involved me shouting "YOU CAN'T ACT LIKE THAT WITH KIDS! YOU SHOULD BE FIRED! EVERYBODY SHOULD BE FIRED!"
And mostly, I find the normalization of teacher-student romantic relationships totally deplorable.
Quoted for truth.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:30 PM on March 17, 2018 [8 favorites]
Contrary to depictions in tv and movies, not all diplomats are sniveling cowards or smexy white people. Also, there is a lot more paperwork.
posted by eulily at 10:58 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by eulily at 10:58 PM on March 17, 2018 [3 favorites]
I love the examples she cites where the film footage seems like BS but where the depiction is pretty much spot on, as it turns out.
Episode badly needed for pilots, I suspect.
posted by rongorongo at 12:24 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Episode badly needed for pilots, I suspect.
posted by rongorongo at 12:24 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
I was a planner with the City of Chicago when Richard M Daley was mayor. I loved Boss.
posted by she's not there at 12:29 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by she's not there at 12:29 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
everything we know is wrong
long live everything
posted by philip-random at 12:45 AM on March 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
long live everything
posted by philip-random at 12:45 AM on March 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
Pulp Fiction: "Somebody should probably be doing chest compressions while they're trying to sort all of this out."
I LOLed.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:50 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I LOLed.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:50 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I lose my damn mind whenever they show someone in a "coma" with goddamn nasal prong 02.
posted by chiquitita at 1:07 AM on March 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by chiquitita at 1:07 AM on March 18, 2018 [4 favorites]
The one thing that shows never capture about hospitals is how seldom you ever actually catch sight of a doctor. You see nurses, receptionists, orderlies, cleaning people, etc. but doctors seem to be pretty scarce in any hospital I've been in.
posted by octothorpe at 4:51 AM on March 18, 2018 [12 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 4:51 AM on March 18, 2018 [12 favorites]
There was that CSI episode....
CSI reruns are often shown on Scyfi, which is entirely appropriate.
The hospitals you don't see doctors in must not be the ones I've been in, where doctors are thick as flies, buzzing in and out of patient rooms so they can bill the insurance for a few hundred dollars. Sometimes the patients are even awake, and the doctor will introduce themselves, which I suppose makes the visit worth more money.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:00 AM on March 18, 2018
CSI reruns are often shown on Scyfi, which is entirely appropriate.
The hospitals you don't see doctors in must not be the ones I've been in, where doctors are thick as flies, buzzing in and out of patient rooms so they can bill the insurance for a few hundred dollars. Sometimes the patients are even awake, and the doctor will introduce themselves, which I suppose makes the visit worth more money.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:00 AM on March 18, 2018
One of my pet peeves is when a patient is in a hospital bed with a ventilator working next to them....but they aren’t intubated.
That’s not how any of this works!
Or when they're on a ventilator with a trach and TALKING.
posted by biscotti at 5:01 AM on March 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
That’s not how any of this works!
Or when they're on a ventilator with a trach and TALKING.
posted by biscotti at 5:01 AM on March 18, 2018 [7 favorites]
I'm in infosec, and watching hacking scenes is equal parts frustrating and hilarious. Most of it is handwavy and I can skip it... and then sometimes they go into detail, and I'm all "YEP THEY SURE DID HACK THAT CLOUD, A+".
posted by XtinaS at 5:33 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by XtinaS at 5:33 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I painted houses for years and watching anyone paint a wall on a home improvement show makes me crazy. They all look like these shots where someone is trying to use a roller without an extender, starting the paint job in the middle of the wall and rolling in five different directions.
posted by octothorpe at 6:35 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by octothorpe at 6:35 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
I've noticed that no tv teacher has ever heard of the phrase "the bell doesn't dismiss you, I dismiss you." As soon as the bell rings, even though Teach is still in the middle of a sentence (lol yes to them always being at the beginning of a lesson at the end of the period), the kids just evaporate instantly. It's like how no one on tv ever says "bye" before they hang up the phone.
And yes to everything else noted about tv teachers. They should all be fired.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:54 AM on March 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
And yes to everything else noted about tv teachers. They should all be fired.
posted by soren_lorensen at 6:54 AM on March 18, 2018 [6 favorites]
In a criminal trial, of course a defendant could refuse to testify, but that's their choice.
It was definitely a criminal trial in the show I'm thinking of; they had charged the guy with murder but didn't have a body, which was somehow why the DA had to put the defendant on the stand. Altogether horrible, even for a lay person.
posted by nubs at 7:54 AM on March 18, 2018
It was definitely a criminal trial in the show I'm thinking of; they had charged the guy with murder but didn't have a body, which was somehow why the DA had to put the defendant on the stand. Altogether horrible, even for a lay person.
posted by nubs at 7:54 AM on March 18, 2018
Howard Marner: Crosby, we're going to have to ask you to surrender the robot.
Newton Crosby: Stat?
Howard Marner: Stat!
Newton Crosby: What does that mean, anyway?
Howard Marner: I don't know. But that's not the point.
Well, now I know.
posted by Ickster at 8:05 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Newton Crosby: Stat?
Howard Marner: Stat!
Newton Crosby: What does that mean, anyway?
Howard Marner: I don't know. But that's not the point.
Well, now I know.
posted by Ickster at 8:05 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
My favorite is The Towering Inferno, where the architect (Paul Newman!) not only has his office at the top of the building he designed but a communicating door from said office to a shag-carpeted bachelor pad.
strangely enough, I did once meet an architect whose office was at the very top of his favorite building, and one level down, directly accessible via private staircase, was a luxury penthouse which had been taken over by a legal firm but had originally been his.
He was an old guy when I met him, no doubt long gone now because it was getting on forty years ago. And it was this building, a beauty, and no doubt familiar if you've seen Smallville. I was a film student and we were scouting for locations. He was obviously a little lonely and proved a great host.
posted by philip-random at 9:37 AM on March 18, 2018
strangely enough, I did once meet an architect whose office was at the very top of his favorite building, and one level down, directly accessible via private staircase, was a luxury penthouse which had been taken over by a legal firm but had originally been his.
He was an old guy when I met him, no doubt long gone now because it was getting on forty years ago. And it was this building, a beauty, and no doubt familiar if you've seen Smallville. I was a film student and we were scouting for locations. He was obviously a little lonely and proved a great host.
posted by philip-random at 9:37 AM on March 18, 2018
That link doesn't work philip-random.
posted by octothorpe at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2018
posted by octothorpe at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2018
Heh. I left a one-star review for “The Resident” on Facebook and got a response back from one of the show writers. What do you mean, the person who co-wrote such fine films as “Beethoven” has time to respond to random internet strangers for calling out a show that seems hellbent on destroying public trust in all doctors?
(For the record, I am a physician, I work in quality improvement and definitely know that there are bad doctors out there, but this show is outrageous in how horribly it paints physicians. I am just waiting for the first time I have a patient who references this show and declines chemotherapy because they think that I’m just in it for the money.)
posted by honeybee413 at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
(For the record, I am a physician, I work in quality improvement and definitely know that there are bad doctors out there, but this show is outrageous in how horribly it paints physicians. I am just waiting for the first time I have a patient who references this show and declines chemotherapy because they think that I’m just in it for the money.)
posted by honeybee413 at 10:24 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Also, me and my wife are artists and go into hysterics when a supposedly "great painter" in any show or movie starts slopping paint on a blank canvas, because underdrawings are how things get put in the right place.
Counterpoint: Bob Ross
posted by AFABulous at 10:25 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Counterpoint: Bob Ross
posted by AFABulous at 10:25 AM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
I've been told that Better Call Saul is fairly accurate for legal stuff, especially that most of it is meetings and drudgery and not showy trials.
My bugbear is when they tie someone up and the ropes are so loose/badly tied that they could easily get out themselves but don't. Or when they rip off a duct tape gag and there's no marks or redness on their face.
posted by AFABulous at 10:38 AM on March 18, 2018
My bugbear is when they tie someone up and the ropes are so loose/badly tied that they could easily get out themselves but don't. Or when they rip off a duct tape gag and there's no marks or redness on their face.
posted by AFABulous at 10:38 AM on March 18, 2018
and I'm all "YEP THEY SURE DID HACK THAT CLOUD, A+"
Heavily paraphrased recollection of my favorite episode of Alias, which I can't find now & may have hallucinated:
ATTRACTIVE YET SERIOUS PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE EXPOSITION BRIEFING: Last night, at 2200 hours, Token Nerd Marshall was kidnapped in the middle of uploading a very important spy file to the cloud. He's fine or whatever? But now the bad spies have the file & we've traced it to Hong Kong.
THE CHIEF: Sydney! Dixon! I need you to fly to Hong Kong and get that file.
SYDNEY & DIXON: You got it, Chief!
[Minutes later, Sydney & Dixon are walking swiftly through a hallway in Hong Kong, wearing wigs & stuff]
SYDNEY: Where do the bad spies keep the files?
DIXON: They're here, in this room full of hard drives!
[Sydney pulls out a handheld device covered in LEDs, wires, microchips, etc., & begins waving it around the room. When it gets close to one particular hard drive, it beeps & starts blinking]
SYDNEY: I've found the file!
DIXON: Let's get out of here!
[Sydney & Dixon grab the hard drive & escape triumphantly with the file]
ME: ...wait but...
CHIEF: Sydney! Dixon! Great job retrieving that stolen file!
ME: ...that is literally not how anything works?
posted by taquito sunrise at 10:54 AM on March 18, 2018 [8 favorites]
Heavily paraphrased recollection of my favorite episode of Alias, which I can't find now & may have hallucinated:
ATTRACTIVE YET SERIOUS PERSON IN CHARGE OF THE EXPOSITION BRIEFING: Last night, at 2200 hours, Token Nerd Marshall was kidnapped in the middle of uploading a very important spy file to the cloud. He's fine or whatever? But now the bad spies have the file & we've traced it to Hong Kong.
THE CHIEF: Sydney! Dixon! I need you to fly to Hong Kong and get that file.
SYDNEY & DIXON: You got it, Chief!
[Minutes later, Sydney & Dixon are walking swiftly through a hallway in Hong Kong, wearing wigs & stuff]
SYDNEY: Where do the bad spies keep the files?
DIXON: They're here, in this room full of hard drives!
[Sydney pulls out a handheld device covered in LEDs, wires, microchips, etc., & begins waving it around the room. When it gets close to one particular hard drive, it beeps & starts blinking]
SYDNEY: I've found the file!
DIXON: Let's get out of here!
[Sydney & Dixon grab the hard drive & escape triumphantly with the file]
ME: ...wait but...
CHIEF: Sydney! Dixon! Great job retrieving that stolen file!
ME: ...that is literally not how anything works?
posted by taquito sunrise at 10:54 AM on March 18, 2018 [8 favorites]
WAIT NO UPDATE I FOUND IT, it's Season 2 episode 11, it was Ho Chi Minh City instead of Hong Kong, and instead of files they kept saying PACKETS!
"Go to Ho Chi Minh City & retrieve those packets!"
"You got it, Chief!"
posted by taquito sunrise at 11:00 AM on March 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
"Go to Ho Chi Minh City & retrieve those packets!"
"You got it, Chief!"
posted by taquito sunrise at 11:00 AM on March 18, 2018 [5 favorites]
That link doesn't work philip-random.
it does for me ...
But anyway -- it was the Marine Building, Vancouver, BC, Art Deco in all its glory.
posted by philip-random at 11:14 AM on March 18, 2018
it does for me ...
But anyway -- it was the Marine Building, Vancouver, BC, Art Deco in all its glory.
posted by philip-random at 11:14 AM on March 18, 2018
buzzing in and out of patient rooms so they can bill the insurance for a few hundred dollars
This attitude comes up a lot here, especially in Ask. Doctors don't flit around hospitals to rack up billable codes.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 11:26 AM on March 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
This attitude comes up a lot here, especially in Ask. Doctors don't flit around hospitals to rack up billable codes.
posted by fluttering hellfire at 11:26 AM on March 18, 2018 [3 favorites]
philip-random, that guy is living my dream. Thanks for providing a new life goal.
posted by q*ben at 11:44 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by q*ben at 11:44 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Doctors don't flit around hospitals to rack up billable codes.
Well, they fooled me. Doctors that I never heard of billed my insurance. Doctors who came into my room and introduced themselves, but whom I never heard from again, billed my insurance.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:51 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Well, they fooled me. Doctors that I never heard of billed my insurance. Doctors who came into my room and introduced themselves, but whom I never heard from again, billed my insurance.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:51 AM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm starting to realize that as an adult I get crushes on smart, competent people. I know that sapiosexual is a word, but this feels more specific. Anyway, I now have a crush on Annie Onishi.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:28 PM on March 18, 2018
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:28 PM on March 18, 2018
Well, they fooled me
How? All billed codes will be on your EOB. Your insurer determines the rates paid. Where is this 'fooling'?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:19 PM on March 18, 2018
How? All billed codes will be on your EOB. Your insurer determines the rates paid. Where is this 'fooling'?
posted by fluttering hellfire at 2:19 PM on March 18, 2018
Re nurse/doctor roles: all of these -
Taking vital signs
Starting IVs
Drawing blood
Putting in catheters
Doing EKGs
Changing dressings
Removing sutures/staples
Administering medications
Discharge teaching
- are things I do routinely. Nurses never do catheters or take blood in the UK (well maybe Advanced Nurse Practitioners, but not normal ward nurses). Specialist nurses may do things like diabetes education, but warfarin education etc is done by junior doctors or pharmacists.
All the others are things I do pretty regularly if a patient is sick - if there are only one or two trained nurses on a ward of 30 patients, I can’t exactly wait for them to finish their drug round to start treatment. You get the drug cupboard keys off them, get your SHO and do it yourself. Same with dipping urine, monitoring urine output, titrating mess up and down, etc - our nurses are too understaffed to help with anything beyond routine care.
Things are different in A&E and ITU, but on normal wards doctors do these jobs all the time in the UK. I didn’t realise how different the two systems were (and explains why US nurses are paid so much more than UK nurses, who start on £22k).
posted by tinkletown at 4:01 PM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
Taking vital signs
Starting IVs
Drawing blood
Putting in catheters
Doing EKGs
Changing dressings
Removing sutures/staples
Administering medications
Discharge teaching
- are things I do routinely. Nurses never do catheters or take blood in the UK (well maybe Advanced Nurse Practitioners, but not normal ward nurses). Specialist nurses may do things like diabetes education, but warfarin education etc is done by junior doctors or pharmacists.
All the others are things I do pretty regularly if a patient is sick - if there are only one or two trained nurses on a ward of 30 patients, I can’t exactly wait for them to finish their drug round to start treatment. You get the drug cupboard keys off them, get your SHO and do it yourself. Same with dipping urine, monitoring urine output, titrating mess up and down, etc - our nurses are too understaffed to help with anything beyond routine care.
Things are different in A&E and ITU, but on normal wards doctors do these jobs all the time in the UK. I didn’t realise how different the two systems were (and explains why US nurses are paid so much more than UK nurses, who start on £22k).
posted by tinkletown at 4:01 PM on March 18, 2018 [2 favorites]
My favorite is The Towering Inferno, where the architect (Paul Newman!) not only has his office at the top of the building he designed but a communicating door from said office to a shag-carpeted bachelor pad.
Alec Eiffel had a swank bachelor pad on top of the Eiffel Tower.
posted by Sebmojo at 4:12 PM on March 18, 2018
Alec Eiffel had a swank bachelor pad on top of the Eiffel Tower.
posted by Sebmojo at 4:12 PM on March 18, 2018
TV is renowned for Fucking Things Up. Just ask a 70's/80's punk or a 00's goth.
posted by gtrwolf at 4:17 PM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by gtrwolf at 4:17 PM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Ack, tinkeltown, you just blew my mind. If you have 30 patients and one or two trained nurses, and docs can get things going faster... how many MDs are present in that situation? For comparison, I work on a 23-bed ward in Canada, where we are 5 RNs on a day shift (3 at night), with 2-4 patient attendants to do basic hygiene and toileting care. Our patients come from two different services, and there are generally 1 resident from one service and 2-3 from the other somewhere in the hospital at any given time; but they might be in the ER, OR, or ICU rather than on the ward. Same for the attendings. If a patient is sick while I'm doing morning medication, as you mention... I prioritize and get back to my stable patients once the sick one is going OK, and/or get help from my colleagues.
Krawczak, all of the things on jesourie's list were things like what I was thinking about. If you watch Grey's Anatomy, which I think may be the worst offender--basically everything the surgeons do in the ER done by nurses (at least in the system I'm familiar with--mind still blown!!). Monitoring is a huge one, whether it's vital signs or routine checks overnight... all nurses. Also, on Grey's the surgeons often mobilize patients post-op (in my setting that can be nurses, physiotherapists, or patient attendants for routine transfers) and spend a lot of time at the bedside, providing emotional support to patients and family. Not saying docs don't do that at all--the good ones definitely take a few minutes for it when they pass by once or twice daily on rounds--but RNs are a lot more present in my setting, and provide a lot more of that kind of care.
posted by snorkmaiden at 5:00 PM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Krawczak, all of the things on jesourie's list were things like what I was thinking about. If you watch Grey's Anatomy, which I think may be the worst offender--basically everything the surgeons do in the ER done by nurses (at least in the system I'm familiar with--mind still blown!!). Monitoring is a huge one, whether it's vital signs or routine checks overnight... all nurses. Also, on Grey's the surgeons often mobilize patients post-op (in my setting that can be nurses, physiotherapists, or patient attendants for routine transfers) and spend a lot of time at the bedside, providing emotional support to patients and family. Not saying docs don't do that at all--the good ones definitely take a few minutes for it when they pass by once or twice daily on rounds--but RNs are a lot more present in my setting, and provide a lot more of that kind of care.
posted by snorkmaiden at 5:00 PM on March 18, 2018 [1 favorite]
Journalists get a whole month and up to half a year to go undercover and research a story about a local high school.
posted by Omnomnom at 12:22 AM on March 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 12:22 AM on March 19, 2018 [2 favorites]
I used to say Scrubs was the only accurate doctor show. But now there's Doc McStuffins, which is excellent as well.
posted by Easy problem of consciousness at 6:06 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Easy problem of consciousness at 6:06 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
In the USA I have definitely learned that I am better off having my blood drawn by a nurse than a doctor, because they do it so much more often. I have slightly tricky veins, so I've gotten to experience many of the ways a blood draw can be botched. When in doubt you want the nurse who looks closest to retirement. (One particularly memorable time I had a doctor and two nurses fail after a fair amount of rigmarole, and then they called in a senior nurse, who glanced at my arm, palpated for three seconds, and popped the needle right in, perfectly straight and centered.)
posted by Karmakaze at 7:37 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Karmakaze at 7:37 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Snorkmaiden, it will depend on the specialty - for internal medicine, there will be three doctors (usually one registrar and two SHOs) covering 300 beds, referrals and A&E overnight. 2-3 doctors per ward during the day.
For renal, which is more intensive (far sicker patients), there are two doctors coving two thirty-bed wards, a four-bed HDU, referrals and any renal admissions overnight (we’re a transplant centre), compared with 10 during the day. There would be 3-4 trained nurses during the day and 1-2 overnight on each ward. HDU is 1:2 nurse:patient ratio. We also have clinical support workers (used to be called healthcare assistants), usually 2-3 per ward, who help the nurses with the personal care, feeding and routine observations.
Our nurses have a LOT of admin and discharge paperwork/referrals to do - I make it sound like they don’t do anything, but they are often finishing their paperwork hours after they've handed over and were meant to have finished. They will refer to all the allied therapies (physio, OT, SALT, podiatry, tissue viability, district nursing). They do all the liaison with social services to put safe discharge plans in place. They sort out dosette boxes, liaise with families, book transport home, book follow up appointments...
Obviously if the nurse is standing at the bedside I will ask them to help, but if they are busy elsewhere I won’t. As I say, bloods, cannulas, ABGs, catheters etc are all firmly doctor jobs not nursing jobs here anyway.
posted by tinkletown at 9:41 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
For renal, which is more intensive (far sicker patients), there are two doctors coving two thirty-bed wards, a four-bed HDU, referrals and any renal admissions overnight (we’re a transplant centre), compared with 10 during the day. There would be 3-4 trained nurses during the day and 1-2 overnight on each ward. HDU is 1:2 nurse:patient ratio. We also have clinical support workers (used to be called healthcare assistants), usually 2-3 per ward, who help the nurses with the personal care, feeding and routine observations.
Our nurses have a LOT of admin and discharge paperwork/referrals to do - I make it sound like they don’t do anything, but they are often finishing their paperwork hours after they've handed over and were meant to have finished. They will refer to all the allied therapies (physio, OT, SALT, podiatry, tissue viability, district nursing). They do all the liaison with social services to put safe discharge plans in place. They sort out dosette boxes, liaise with families, book transport home, book follow up appointments...
Obviously if the nurse is standing at the bedside I will ask them to help, but if they are busy elsewhere I won’t. As I say, bloods, cannulas, ABGs, catheters etc are all firmly doctor jobs not nursing jobs here anyway.
posted by tinkletown at 9:41 AM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Really fascinating. A lot of the paperwork you mention is distributed differently here too. Some of our referrals (for example, PT/OT/SLP) are protocolised and happen automatically in some settings; nurses do others (wound care). Our Assistant Head Nurse does all of the discharge planning, along with the social workers. Things like booking transports and follow up appointments are handled by our unit coordinator/secretary, who also does lots of incidental stuff like calling the kitchen or housekeeping, etc, and other similar tasks that come up--we have someone present doing that work for 12 hours/day. They also do all of the medical records work, and help organise discharge papers. Nurses still have plenty of paperwork left over, but much less than you're describing.
Nurses here do all peripheral venous bloods and lines, while anything arterial or central is doctors; otherwise (catheters, airway suctioning, dressings, etc) those minor invasive procedures are also nursing.
posted by snorkmaiden at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
Nurses here do all peripheral venous bloods and lines, while anything arterial or central is doctors; otherwise (catheters, airway suctioning, dressings, etc) those minor invasive procedures are also nursing.
posted by snorkmaiden at 3:11 PM on March 19, 2018 [1 favorite]
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posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:37 PM on March 17, 2018 [4 favorites]