A positive story about a subreddit?
March 20, 2018 9:40 AM   Subscribe

“It’s a surprisingly functional and actually really nice community,” says Walker Livingston...one of of more than a dozen mods on the Male Fashion Advice (MFA) subreddit Basically, there's a bunch of men on reddit looking for fashion advice, and they've created a remarkably open, inviting, and downright thoughtful community around it.
posted by foxywombat (52 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
Wow, they must have banned a ton of users.
posted by ryanrs at 10:07 AM on March 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


Agreed. This hasn’t been in line with my previous experience there; it’s very same-y, very stereotypical, not very challenging. The impression I got from this is it’s something like AskMe and that is definitely not the case.
posted by hijinx at 10:18 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


I visit MFA every so often, though at almost 48 I'm waaaay outside their target demo. There's often some interesting articles posted and discussion had about fashion topics, and good tips on interesting new clothing brands/items. While much of the Q&A can center around topics such as where to find skinny chinos or where to find chinos that will accommodate thighs thick from squats (the bros do lift), there's plenty of helpful, solid advice (boiled down: wear clothes that fit).
posted by schoolgirl report at 10:32 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


I don't see why this should be surprising in the least. It's a subreddit for affluent men--rich men have never really had a problem with putting aside small differences like whether it's better for the poor to freeze or starve so that they can talk about clothing.
posted by TypographicalError at 10:32 AM on March 20, 2018 [10 favorites]


Metafilter: Wow, they must have banned a ton of users.

I think everywhere that isn't a cesspit has, either gradually or in big purges, taken out their own trash.
posted by jaduncan at 10:32 AM on March 20, 2018 [6 favorites]


(Dollars to donuts, Richard Spencer got most of his fashion advice there.)
posted by tobascodagama at 10:35 AM on March 20, 2018 [5 favorites]


Hey, https://www.reddit.com/r/nethack/ is nice, if somewhat narrow, monomaniacal and obsessive about an ancient text-graphics dungeon crawl...
posted by jim in austin at 10:36 AM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


Wow, they must have banned a ton of users.

Maybe? I occasionally glance at r/buffalo, r/theexpanse, r/horizon, etc, and haven't found those to be infested with jackasses. Whether that's because those things just aren't terribly interesting/rewarding to nazis or because the mods there are constantly weeding out nazis I dunno.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 10:41 AM on March 20, 2018 [3 favorites]


O, FFS. Have you ever visited he subreddit? I suspect not. It’s not for rich men. Most of the discussions are about where to get basics, and 99% of the time the answer is “uniqlo”. There are plenty of subreddits that cater to those with expensive tastes (I’m looking at you r/goodyearwelt), but MFA isn’t one of them.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 10:50 AM on March 20, 2018 [47 favorites]


I mean, the talking about shirts that cost over $30 certainly had me wincing, but I recognize that new shirts probably do not actually cost $10 in the United States anymore. (Not exactly sure what the appropriate price points are, which mostly leads to a lot of horror and outrage when I do find myself in rare need of new clothing.)

I have no experience of this subreddit, but -- possibly preemptively, possibly unnecessarily -- I would like to express my discomfort with the idea that it's only affluent people who (can) talk about the ~luxuries~ of fashion.
posted by inconstant at 11:03 AM on March 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


Like, while I'm sure that's not the intended implication, that kind of comment felt to me like the other side of the "if they just stopped spending so much money on nice nails and hairstyles they wouldn't be so poor!!!" coin. Not to mention the implication that the rest of Reddit is toxic because... of... being less affluent...?

Sorry if it's just that these particular individuals or this particular community has a known reputation and that's what those comments were addressing. As an outsider, however, that's how it's coming off to me.
posted by inconstant at 11:07 AM on March 20, 2018


Some of the "where do I buy X that costs less than Y" discussion is filtered off into /r/frugalmalefashion

I browse MFA semi-regularly (despite being a woman), I don't know, it's just nice there.
posted by quaking fajita at 11:13 AM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


There is r/frugalmalefashion, a very large companion sub which is specifically for posting sales and discussion of cost effective options and alternatives for those seeking a particular look.

Frankly I find the immediate jump to "this is for rich assholes" and "probably where nazis hangout" really insulting.

Another really positive community on reddit that I like is r/C25K - a community for redditors starting or working on a couch to 5k exercise regime. Full of personal stories, advice and positivity.
posted by the_querulous_night at 11:15 AM on March 20, 2018 [38 favorites]


The /r/femalefashionadvice subreddit is pretty fun, too. My favorite fashion subreddit is /r/historicalfashionporn despite the squicky name. Look, I really like bustles and in particular Belle Epoque and House of Worth.

There's a ton of decent, fun subreddits out there.

I've been a mod on some large subs (40k+ subs) and it's a huge pain in the ass, and, yeah, to run a successful, "nice" subreddit these days you pretty much have to ban people all day every day. Spambots are pervasive, as are trolls and the emotionally toxic.

Also, shout out to /r/trollXchromosomes for keeping it real.
posted by loquacious at 11:23 AM on March 20, 2018 [11 favorites]


Yeah, it seems to target at least moderately affluent, but uh, have we been to AskMe lately? There are definitely people on Metafilter who are poor, but on the whole, yeah, a lot of us here do in fact own clothes that cost this much, too. I'm glad to see people having places to ask these sorts of questions, in particular because you know what people most often need this kind of help? People who came from positions of less comfort who now have careers and attendant different social expectations than they had as teenagers. Part of how I've come to manage well as a software developer is internet communities, Metafilter included, because I grew up broke and with mental health crud and this stuff is hard. It's not "global poverty" hard and nobody thinks it is, but that doesn't make it easy.
posted by Sequence at 11:26 AM on March 20, 2018 [27 favorites]


I will sometimes point clients there to get the basics of men's fashion and how to get clothes that fit, but agree that it's very vanilla, very same-same, and sometimes just not a good fit with where we live (Florida).
Unless you're into flip-flops and Guy Harvey fish shirts, which I, most certainly, am NOT.
Having said that, everyone is basically nice and helpful, and on Reddit, that's a very welcome change.

Also, shout out to r/rpg and r/callofcthulhu, which are my go-to Reddits.
posted by Major Matt Mason Dixon at 11:27 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm glad to see people having places to ask these sorts of questions, in particular because you know what people most often need this kind of help? People who came from positions of less comfort who now have careers and attendant different social expectations than they had as teenagers.

Very true. And since the alternative is just trying to decipher fashion industry marketing...
posted by praemunire at 11:30 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


There are tons of nice positive subreddits people. Aquariums is great and was my Reddit gateway, lots of the fashion and home ones are really interesting, loseit is full of the nicest most encouraging people and the smaller science and technology ones are generally full of interesting discussion amongst people who actually know what they're talking about.

There are assholes on reddit but the default metafilter "it's all Nazis!!" is ridiculous.
posted by fshgrl at 11:34 AM on March 20, 2018 [30 favorites]


Are we listing nice subreddits now? /r/Fantasy is pretty great (check out their crowdsourced lists of Female authors, LGBTQ+ characters, and POC authors); /r/CanadaPolitics is surprisingly chill; /r/AskHistorians (as well as most places with strict rules on commenting that leads to fairly little generalized chatter) is fun to browse.
posted by quaking fajita at 11:39 AM on March 20, 2018 [7 favorites]


> I don't see why this should be surprising in the least. It's a subreddit for affluent men--rich men have never really had a problem with putting aside small differences like whether it's better for the poor to freeze or starve so that they can talk about clothing.

Affluent* men also have no problem completely exaggerating and amplifying tiny perceived/invented differences in status to bully each other and start pissing contests, so...yeah, I'm pretty pleasantly surprised that this forum is so civil.

(*These guys are relatively affluent, sure, but rich? Uh...are we reading the same forum?)
posted by desuetude at 11:42 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


There are assholes on reddit but the default metafilter "it's all Nazis!!" is ridiculous.

Absolutely. Reddit is like Facebook or Twitter: It's a huge platform that has a white male supremacy problem and a clueless, sometimes malignant, management.

But it's still so big there are a lot of different types of people on it, and a lot of them have carved out spaces that don't fit the stereotype.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:43 AM on March 20, 2018 [17 favorites]


No site that contains r/Zoomies can be all bad.
posted by dfan at 11:43 AM on March 20, 2018 [10 favorites]


TypographicalError presumably got confused between r/mfa and r/expensivehumanfashion (er, or so I assume, as someone not even allowed to view the latter).

I’m looking at you r/goodyearwelt

Even that one has people discussing and getting advice about less expensive shoes. (Relatively speaking, I suppose.) It's not all custom stuff with exotic leathers; plenty of people are talking about the Wescos they wear to actual job sites.
posted by kenko at 11:45 AM on March 20, 2018


Those people need to walk their dogs more.
posted by fshgrl at 11:45 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm really enjoying reading through all the stuff on Chelsea Boots. This is great, thank you, and not a sub reddit I'd have consciously visited. My DM Chelseas have been awful, I feel like the quality of the leather has nose dived in recent years. I've long had my eyes on a pair of Loakes, and I like Charles Tyrwhitt's shirts so have thought their shoes could be a worthy buy.

This has come along at just the right time for me, as I like my shoes to last more than 2 years. DM's just aren't worth repairing, they're right that a lot of places won't touch them. In fact just today I idle browsed around a department store trying to get a feel for what's out there.
posted by diziet at 11:49 AM on March 20, 2018


Where's r/malefashionadvicefromwomen?
posted by gottabefunky at 11:51 AM on March 20, 2018


/r/MensLib is an oasis. It's what most of the other /r/Men... groups should aspire to.
posted by bonehead at 11:52 AM on March 20, 2018


Is there a r/nonbinaryfashion or equivalent?
posted by Lexica at 11:56 AM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I don't know if you are kidding, but there is r/NBFashionAdvice.

It is a fairly new and small subreddit and they could benefit from some new content and mods.
posted by Index Librorum Prohibitorum at 11:59 AM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


I’ve basically just found that the general rule of thumb for subreddits is that the more niche a topic is, the more likely that the community will be respectful, thoughtful, and kind, most likely because it just manages to largely avoid the Nazi Eye of Sauron and/or horrible factional infighting that inevitably tears apart bigger communities.

This is generally true of the internet at large, IME, not just Reddit. I’ve seen similar dynamics play out in Facebook groups a ton.
posted by Itaxpica at 11:59 AM on March 20, 2018 [13 favorites]



Where's r/malefashionadvicefromwomen?


r/AskWomen (Which may as well be renamed “r/AskWomenAboutMen”)
posted by Autumnheart at 12:11 PM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


there's a lot of strangely uncharitable reactions to "space for fashion advice is civil and kind"
posted by Ferreous at 12:16 PM on March 20, 2018 [20 favorites]


The gender policing of men who like clothes in every last one of these threads is not surprising, but it is tiresome.
posted by enn at 1:07 PM on March 20, 2018 [9 favorites]


My DM Chelseas have been awful, I feel like the quality of the leather has nose dived in recent years.

Ugh yes. I have Doc Martens 'Carpathian' chelsea boots and the leather is splitting and awful after about 18 months and I'm so mad about it >:(
posted by sevenyearlurk at 1:15 PM on March 20, 2018


Dunno about chelsea boots, but I remember back in my (non-neo Nazi) skinhead days, a pair of DM's would last FOREVER with basically no care. My last pair barely made it over a year.
posted by Samizdata at 1:25 PM on March 20, 2018


I’ve basically just found that the general rule of thumb for subreddits is that the more niche a topic is, the more likely that the community will be respectful, thoughtful, and kind, most likely because it just manages to largely avoid the Nazi Eye of Sauron and/or horrible factional infighting that inevitably tears apart bigger communities.

Its like living next to someone who farms zombies for a living. Generally its cool and small escapes are handled. My local sub got brigaded last week when the mayor supported student boycots and its a reminder that Not Cool is in the neighborhood.

Shout out my weird faves: /r/thalassaphobia, /r/crappydesign, /r/mildlyvandalized, /r/watchpeopledieinside and /u/shittymorph who manages to sneak in under the radar ever time.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 1:32 PM on March 20, 2018 [6 favorites]


/u/shittymorph who manages to sneak in under the radar ever time.

I get sucked in every. time. Kudos to whoever that is and also I hate them.

Please don't post travel questions to r/traveller although I think there are reasonably active mods for such a tiny subreddit and errant questions get removed pretty quickly.
posted by GuyZero at 2:01 PM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


No site that contains r/Zoomies can be all bad.

See also /r/TippyTaps
posted by exogenous at 2:15 PM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


My class hatred is a little high today, obviously, apologies for derailing. My problems with MFA are personal, but I stand by the idea that upper class men or men with class aspirations aren't usually seen fighting in the way that reddit tortures people, so this doesn't surprise me.
posted by TypographicalError at 2:34 PM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I don't know if you are kidding, but there is r/NBFashionAdvice.

Not kidding at all. Why would I be?

I mean, the subreddit I truly want is r/AFABEnbiesWhoWantStyleOptionsBesidesUniqloBecauseWeSureSeemToDressSimilarlyNow, but I doubt it exists. Or maybe r/FashionForNonbinaryPeopleWhoDontLookLikeDavidBowieOrTildaSwinton.
posted by Lexica at 3:16 PM on March 20, 2018 [4 favorites]


There are a few androgony subreddits that you might want to check out, fashion and hair is a big focus on those. Some pretty stylish folks post there.
posted by fshgrl at 4:11 PM on March 20, 2018


MFA is OK and definitely not for "affluent" men - I get the impression the primary demographic is young guys in college or just starting their careers who want to upgrade their wardrobe from "hoodie and jeans". The MFA crowd in general seems quite budget conscious.

If you really want hardcore snobby, try styleforum (although even they have gotten better over the years). The thing that strikes me reading some of these sites is how horrible people are with money. You get the impression they aren't necessarily affluent people, they just spend a huge amount of their income on clothing.
posted by pravit at 4:11 PM on March 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


i mean this is basically the same thread we have every time about reddit
posted by glonous keming at 4:23 PM on March 20, 2018 [7 favorites]


Some of my favorite and encouraging subreddits:
r/loseit
r/stopdrinking
r/meditation

Similar to r/zoomies
r/happycowgifs
r/animalsbeingbros
r/animalsbeingjerks
r/gifsofbulldogs
r/mademesmile
r/wholesomegifs
posted by faceonmars at 9:16 PM on March 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure that Reddit has a sub for expensive male fashion, and I'm also pretty sure that it's invite only, which says a whole lot, actually. MFA is a mostly interesting, sometimes silly, occasionally informative sub about men's clothing, almost always branded, and the article is correct. It's amazingly drama free considering the topic.

For best results, ask questions, because the more specific your interest, the more static you have to sort through to get the information that you want, and there absolutely are some very knowledgeable people who post there. It's worth the time to dig through it. I just wish there was a specific fashion sub for older men, because the sub definitely skews towards people in the teens or twenties.
posted by Beholder at 9:46 PM on March 20, 2018


r/crochet and r/yarntrolls are nice
posted by Jacqueline at 5:41 AM on March 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


subreddits on breaking addiction to alcohol and also chewing tobacco are godsends to many people who do not dovetail well with traditional counselling or AA, nor have the time or resources. Frankly Reddit is a hell of a lot less judgemental toward it's posters than Metafilter from the years I've been involved in both.
posted by docpops at 6:15 AM on March 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


Which is nice enough when people are talking about selecting flattering clothes or how to deal with Crazy Gandhi in Civ, and bad when they're organizing harassment and threat campaigns against women or trips to Charlottesville to kill SJWs.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:38 AM on March 21, 2018


Mod note: Folks, let's please drop the metacommentary on Reddit and Metafilter and either talk about the actual posted topic, or just skip the thread.
posted by taz (staff) at 6:48 AM on March 21, 2018 [4 favorites]


/r/AskHistorians is a) very heavily moderated and b) really, really excellent.
posted by Happy Dave at 11:37 AM on March 21, 2018


Wait, wait, wait -- I popped over to the site for a quick skim and found THIS: "The beloved fashion and society photographer Bill Cunningham, who worked for The New York Times for nearly 40 years, left behind an enormous archive valued at $1 million. He also, his family discovered with some surprise upon his death in 2016, left a written memoir."
posted by maudlin at 12:02 PM on March 21, 2018 [1 favorite]


> The beloved fashion and society photographer Bill Cunningham, who worked for The New York Times for nearly 40 years, left behind an enormous archive valued at $1 million. He also, his family discovered with some surprise upon his death in 2016, left a written memoir."

Oooh. Just the excerpts in that article make me excited to read it. That'll be a great FPP.
posted by desuetude at 7:01 AM on March 22, 2018


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