The redneck toothpick

March 21, 2018 5:47 PM

Your oyster might come with a parasite that George Washington (maybe) endorsed - the pea crab.
posted by Chrysostom (34 comments total)

Interesting. I haven't seen one of these since childhood.
posted by 4ster at 6:14 PM on March 21, 2018

oyster crabs are incredibly delicious, anyone who has participated in an oyster roast knows this.
posted by scose at 6:16 PM on March 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

Who lives in an oyster and under the sea?
For some reason the thought of eating something so small and cute feels unbearable to my PMS right now
posted by bleep at 6:22 PM on March 21, 2018 [7 favorites]

This doesn’t do much for the crushing moral failure I feel when I eat oysters.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 6:37 PM on March 21, 2018 [8 favorites]

Can I make a crab bisque from those wee crabbies?
posted by vrakatar at 6:49 PM on March 21, 2018

Also I think it’s funny how the article is like “why is no one capitalizing on this offal of the sea? This redneck toothpick? This briny parasite favored by a guy with wooden teeth?” Dude you’re not exactly helping lol
posted by bleep at 6:56 PM on March 21, 2018 [11 favorites]

“Eating pea crabs is great when I want to eat 1,000 of something that’s still alive”
posted by bleep at 7:07 PM on March 21, 2018 [19 favorites]

Uh, is this why oyster crackers are shaped/sized the way they are?
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:13 PM on March 21, 2018 [10 favorites]

RolandOfEld, that is my new headcanon.
posted by Horkus at 8:45 PM on March 21, 2018 [5 favorites]

Oh man, I want to try these. They sound delicious and adorable!
posted by limeonaire at 9:39 PM on March 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

I love opening an oyster and getting a little bonus crab! Don’t think I’ve ever gotten one at a restaurant, though. A friend used to bring me oysters his cousin (who owns a seafood company) harvested off the Outer Banks of NC. Almost every one had a crab and they were some of the best, freshest oysters ever!
posted by TedW at 2:00 AM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

> 4ster:
"Interesting. I haven't seen one of these since childhood."

Never seen one at all. Doesn't mean I don't want them in my mouth though.
posted by Samizdata at 3:02 AM on March 22, 2018

“I’ll just pop one in my mouth, let him scrabble around in there a bit. That’s what we call a redneck toothpick!”

SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:57 AM on March 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

SOUNDS DELIGHTFUL

See Also: Klingon for the Galactic Traveler

Gagh worms that are intended to be served are fed only a mixture of diluted blood, which they find very unappetizing and therefore only consume when they are nearly starving. The type of animal from which the blood has been taken greatly influences the eventual flavor. Just prior to being served, the worms are poured into a bowl of thick sauce which contains an extremely flavorful herb which the worms find very delicious, and devour, even though it is toxic to them, and kills them within minutes. Gagh is considered best consumed live, therefore it is customary to eat it as quickly as possible. If the worms cannot be eaten before they all die, then the entire mixture is saved and heated up later as a sort of stew.

posted by mikelieman at 5:11 AM on March 22, 2018

My grandfather always just threw the little crabs in the freezer, where they collected as general gumbo/stew ingredients. So while I grew up eating these, I have no idea how they taste on their own. Now I want a good brown fish stew over rice.
posted by EinAtlanta at 5:14 AM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

If there was enough of a demand for these -- even by a very small, select audience -- could(n't) they be farmed just like their hosts?
posted by inconstant at 6:35 AM on March 22, 2018

RolandOfEld, that is my new headcanon.

Did a chick? Dud a chum?
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:01 AM on March 22, 2018 [4 favorites]

My husband and I have gotten better at shucking oysters since we started recreational shellfishing in MA last year. So because it's been too cold to collect our own he recently bought oysters at the store and I gasped when I found one of these. I'd never seen one, was Concerned, and he was kind and flushed it. It was only after googling to see if we could still eat the oyster that we discovered that we'd just flushed a delicacy. I guess we'll have to buy some more of those Chesapeake oysters just to get to try one?

I don't know, even if the oyster is alive when we eat it, it's not Moving. That seems more challenging, for sure!
posted by ldthomps at 7:29 AM on March 22, 2018

Oyster crackers are pretty much the first thing I thought of.

I wanted to see what these critters looked like live, so I, uh, consulted YouTube.
posted by zennie at 7:56 AM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

"Also I think it’s funny how the article is like “why is no one capitalizing on this offal of the sea? This redneck toothpick? This briny parasite favored by a guy with wooden teeth?” Dude you’re not exactly helping lol"

If people are already comfortable sucking the juice and guts out of an oyster, I can't see any reasonable objection to chowing down on a little crab.
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:30 AM on March 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I wanted to see what these critters looked like live, so I, uh, consulted YouTube.

Holy. My brain ignored the Bic lighter for size reference and assumed those were much, much larger than previous examination had led me to believe. I was bona-fide horrified for a quick second there.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:31 AM on March 22, 2018

> A friend used to bring me oysters his cousin (who owns a seafood company) harvested off the Outer Banks of NC. Almost every one had a crab and they were some of the best, freshest oysters ever!

The more old-school places in the Outer Banks leave them be. When I get a half-peck of James River oysters at Awful Arthur's, at least every third one has a pea crab.

Despite my being the sort of person who 1) orders a half-peck of raw oysters to eat by myself and 2) would be expected to be enthusiastic about a little bonus edible critter beloved by gourmands, I do sometimes feel a little squeamish about eating them raw. I really just want to give them at least a quick saute.
posted by desuetude at 10:30 AM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

I'd eat the ones from roasted oysters, but I admit I do not want anything scrabbling in my mouth.
posted by tavella at 11:53 AM on March 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

I used to try and keep them alive.

In the future I will eat them.
posted by Max Power at 3:07 PM on March 22, 2018

sweet jeesus, oysters are alive when you eat them?
posted by Space Kitty at 3:07 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

Well, I tend to steam them until they open via the microwave myself. But raw, presumably so, though I'm not sure exactly how to tell when a raw oyster has died in the process between shucking and eating.
posted by tavella at 3:43 PM on March 22, 2018

oh dear.
posted by Space Kitty at 4:06 PM on March 22, 2018 [5 favorites]

Oysters are in and of themselves terrible and fascinating to eat and delicious to boot, but I just can’t with a crab scrabbling around in my mouth whilst in flagrante delicto with an oyster sliding down my throat.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:40 PM on March 22, 2018 [1 favorite]

because that’s just too naughty you see?
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:41 PM on March 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

I try never to be a jerk about being a near-forever vegetarian, but WTF ARE YOU ALL DOING UGHHHH UGH
posted by lauranesson at 7:38 PM on March 22, 2018 [3 favorites]

Ooh, I have a side mission for my visit to S. Carolina this Fall now!

Thanks zennie! This gentleman's categorization overlaps extremely poorly except for maybe understanding of food. I'd totally welcome a chance to exchange some of the outliers of Cantonese with some of his.
posted by porpoise at 9:16 PM on March 22, 2018

> Oysters are in and of themselves terrible and fascinating to eat and delicious to boot, but I just can’t with a crab scrabbling around in my mouth whilst in flagrante delicto with an oyster sliding down my throat.

I cannot fucking wait to steal this exact sentence and say it out loud.
posted by desuetude at 6:46 AM on March 23, 2018 [2 favorites]

I am a fan of eatimg oysters. Oysters don't have central nervous systems. They don't care. After the larval stage they glue themselves to hard substrate and mostly just filter water for the entirety of their lives. They are good for the environment. There is money to be made from thriving, healthy oyster beds. Tourists like clean water. Eaters like delicious oysters. Humans like not being washed out to sea. Cooked is also good. Have a fried oyster po'boy if you don't want them raw.

I don't know much about the pea crabs, but they are likely a sign of a healthy ecosystem. Once they're in a kitchen it seems wasteful not to eat them.
posted by zennie at 9:16 AM on March 25, 2018 [2 favorites]

Yeah, not convinced an oyster suffers to any degree more than a plant does from being eaten. Some plants may actually react more significantly and complexly to damage, even.
posted by tavella at 7:05 PM on March 25, 2018