Meep meep meep
April 24, 2018 2:20 PM   Subscribe

This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- frimble



 
oh this is great
posted by phunniemee at 2:21 PM on April 24, 2018


What it says on the tin, possibly more so.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 2:23 PM on April 24, 2018 [12 favorites]


I have a short wife and I have always wondered what she sees in me.
posted by srboisvert at 2:24 PM on April 24, 2018 [29 favorites]


Flesh fireplugs with hair. Though I gotta say looking down from 6'4 it's not toooooo much different than the reverse.
posted by seanmpuckett at 2:28 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


woof, I need to trim my beard along my jawline
posted by dismas at 2:30 PM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]


so much photoshop opportunities
posted by numaner at 2:32 PM on April 24, 2018


That’s so awesome lol.
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:32 PM on April 24, 2018


#3 reminds me of Beaker from the Muppet show.
posted by 4ster at 2:42 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]


Da fuc?
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:43 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


It looked like a very unfortunate "you know" case even before shaving...
posted by sciatrix at 2:44 PM on April 24, 2018


you know...a penis with ears LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLmen
posted by supermedusa at 2:46 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


Hilariously disturbing indeed!
posted by dendritejungle at 2:58 PM on April 24, 2018


This is why metafilter exists.
posted by obfuscation at 3:08 PM on April 24, 2018 [6 favorites]


Thanks, I hate it.
posted by Grandysaur at 3:35 PM on April 24, 2018 [34 favorites]


Eeeeewwwwww
posted by tarantula at 3:35 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


This is what we call a severe case of astronomer's neck.
posted by giltay at 3:42 PM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]


I am grossed out.
posted by rhizome at 4:00 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


oh my god my eyes
posted by poffin boffin at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]


WHY IS THIS SO ALARMING
posted by poffin boffin at 4:04 PM on April 24, 2018 [7 favorites]


can confirm, highly unnerving.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 4:11 PM on April 24, 2018


Re The Muppet Show, reminds me a bit of when they had singers upside down wiith googly eyes on their chins... It was a bit unnerving.
posted by ovvl at 4:36 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


I wanted to feel other things, but all I could do was worry that they were damaging their spines. Please don’t hurt yourself, friends.
posted by greermahoney at 4:42 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


oh it definitely reminds me of the horrible "neck pain test" thing that doctors do when you're like hey i have stenosis and 5 herniated discs impinging nerves, where they tell you to tip your head back and turn slightly left or right, and then they GRAB YOUR SKULL AND YANK IT BACKWARDS WHILE TRYING TO SHOVE THE FULL LENGTH OF YOUR SPINE OUT YOUR BUTTHOLE and they're like "oh did that hurt?" meanwhile i'm on the other side of the office, screaming, covered in blood that isn't mine, the nurse is missing a limb, the other patients are barricaded in the coat closet and the building is on fire.

yeah, it hurt.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:04 PM on April 24, 2018 [17 favorites]


#3 reminds me of Beaker from the Muppet show.

See also: title of post.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:05 PM on April 24, 2018 [4 favorites]


The ease and immediacy of digital photography: this is what comes with it, folks.

Does anybody else remember Black's, and their 1-hour photo service with the photo machine in the window of the shop? You could stand there and watch the long strip of freshly-printed pictures go by on their way to be cut into individual snapshots, waiting to see yours. Can you imagine the silence falling over the little waiting knot of people, as everybody tilted their heads sideways, trying to make sense of a bunch of pictures like that going by?

oh wow i'm talking like an old person
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 5:26 PM on April 24, 2018 [12 favorites]


Okay here ya go.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:49 PM on April 24, 2018


How long until neural nets can generate these?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 6:37 PM on April 24, 2018 [1 favorite]


These are deliciously gross.

Also, surprisingly hard to emulate since you can't see where the camera is pointed when you have your head tilted back.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:30 PM on April 24, 2018


Gosh, I really wish I hadn't clicked! For some reason, I expected the from-above camera shot of their faces...so like, really 2D looking faces? IDK. (The internet: Gosh, I really wish I hadn't clicked!)
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:44 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


WHY IS THIS SO ALARMING

Because it's like coming across innocuous vegetables with pubic hair. It's a thing you know exists, but in a place you don't want to see it (it being a thing you don't normally want to see anyway).

Does anybody else remember Black's, and their 1-hour photo service with the photo machine in the window of the shop? You could stand there and watch the long strip of freshly-printed pictures go by on their way to be cut into individual snapshots, waiting to see yours. Can you imagine the silence falling over the little waiting knot of people, as everybody tilted their heads sideways, trying to make sense of a bunch of pictures like that going by?

I worked in one-hour photo labs for all of my college years, and a little bit after. When people handed over rolls of film, you never knew what was on them until they came out of the C-41 negative processor. That Junior League mom with the painted nails who came in on July 5th? She probably had rolls worth of poorly exposed pictures of fireworks. That kindly gentleman who smelled like licorice? He was probably developing pictures of his grandkids, or maybe his dachshund.

In reality, the rolls of film that people submitted often -- very often -- violently dismantled stereotypes. I am as street-wise as I am largely because I worked in one-hour photo labs for a good portion of my malleable years.

All this is to say: When the negative rolled out of the C-41 machine, before you took it to the printer, you knew what was in those negatives. And you knew what was going to come out of that machine, by the window -- the one mall-goers stood and gawked at.

And that's when you hung your lab coat over the chute where the 4x6s where cut. You'd shake your head sadly at the woman on the other side of the window, the one who was mesmerized as she watched the photos fall, a 6-year-old by her side. You'd shake your head, mount the lab coat, and think "Nothing to see, Mall Lady. Nothing to see. The world is a strange and sometimes awful place. Go buy your kid an Orange Julius."

And this is how I circle back to "WHY IS THIS SO ALARMING."
posted by mudpuppie at 8:23 PM on April 24, 2018 [21 favorites]


Fits right with my cat beard collection.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 9:12 PM on April 24, 2018 [2 favorites]


I also felt for their necks! I always hurt myself if I let my head back at all.

St. Peepsburg, those are great! Like a real like Snapchat filter.
posted by batter_my_heart at 10:32 PM on April 24, 2018


The world is a David Cronenberg movie.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:33 PM on April 24, 2018 [3 favorites]


I’m just annoyed so few men know how to trim at the jawline.
posted by sonascope at 3:33 AM on April 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


I wish I had found these before I’d trimmed an inch off my beard. But the photos look equally weird with a very short beard.
posted by caution live frogs at 5:30 AM on April 25, 2018


I'm so tempted to use one of these of myself as my work Slack profile picture...
posted by borsboom at 6:06 AM on April 25, 2018


Actually, I kind of love these as they are the first thing to make me smile today, so, yay weird beard neck photos.
posted by Sophie1 at 6:10 AM on April 25, 2018


OMG I love this
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:28 AM on April 25, 2018


I need to dig up some of my "Cousin It" photos (if one has enough long, relatively straight, hair, one can comb it to make a pretty good Cousin It impression)
posted by Karmakaze at 6:32 AM on April 25, 2018


These remind me of how, in Moby Dick, Melville observes that from the front, the whale's face is featureless - eyes are on the side, no nose, thin jaw opens at the bottom of the head, etc. From the front the whale is just a flesh boulder.
posted by Frowner at 6:35 AM on April 25, 2018 [2 favorites]


I just tried this in my office and holy shit my neckline is WAY more crooked than I thought
posted by middleclasstool at 6:50 AM on April 25, 2018


As if I needed another reason to dislike beards... should not have clicked while eating.
posted by bendy at 12:50 PM on April 25, 2018


If this isn't the final argument for net neutrality, then the internet deserves to fail.
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:06 PM on April 26, 2018


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