Chef Erin Wade on stamping out sexual harassment by customers
May 20, 2018 12:55 PM Subscribe
Chef Erin Wade, owner of Oakland restaurant Homeroom, "How my restaurant successfully dealt with harassment from customers": Although it is encouraging to see men finally being called out for inappropriate behavior, it’s less so that the focus is still, frankly, on men. How did they react? What will happen to their empires? What’s needed is a conversation about women – not as victims, but as revolutionaries. I am an overtly feminist restaurateur, and harassment still happened at my restaurant. This is my story, my solution and my call to action. Our Values--Homeroom: "We are trying to improve the world by building a business based on diversity, inclusion and empowerment."
That was a great read. Thank you for posting. My friend is a Bay Area chef, and has been watching the metoo movement sweep through local restaurants. He has been pushing for his woman-owned company to do something proactive like this, but they say their two-hour annual managemt-only CA-regulated harassment training is sufficient. I can’t understand why, with all of this evidence, you’d bury your head in the sand and say “I’m sure we’re fine!” but that’s their position. Sigh.
posted by greermahoney at 1:15 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by greermahoney at 1:15 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
I love love love this. In particular, I love that a staff person's discomfort does not require agreement/approval from someone else to make it real - and that the discomfort doesn't require explanation or justification or any expectation that they'll tolerate it. So good.
posted by VioletU at 1:17 PM on May 20, 2018 [38 favorites]
posted by VioletU at 1:17 PM on May 20, 2018 [38 favorites]
I HATE mac and cheese but I love this:a staff person's discomfort does not require agreement/approval from someone else to make it real. So important! In had a similar system when I had a restaurant. My crew were my family, and nobody messes with my family. Cooks like to huff about how waiters have it easy, but in reality they get paid to deal with all the shit the public can throw. Not paid enough btw...
posted by Dhertiiboi at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Dhertiiboi at 1:44 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
A simple, elegant, empowering method for dealing with harassment. I love that the employees don't have to recount the incident. They just say "there's something happening here" and they are believed and supported.
posted by vignettist at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by vignettist at 1:59 PM on May 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
I agree, the immediate acceptance of the server's word that she is being harassed is one of the best things about their system. I also liked this part of a related SF Chronicle article (linked from the Homeroom link), which shows the positive effects of educating male managers [bolding mine]:
The waiters said they didn’t know what to do when [customer sexual harassment] had happened to them. When they reported uncomfortable situations to their floor managers, who were mostly men at the time, the managers didn’t really get it.posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 2:10 PM on May 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
“There would be times when a customer said something that was borderline inappropriate. Maybe I didn’t take it as seriously as I do now,” says restaurant manager Kale Irwin, 33. “Before we really started this conversation, I wasn’t as tuned in to it.”
Irwin says that now he never thinks employees are being too sensitive when they use the color system to report issues with customers or vendors.
“It’s pretty clear where somebody’s coming from when they do make those comments,” he said. “I still think it’s a violation of somebody’s personal space.”
Just want to chime in that I really like this system as well. It's simple and effective. Would like to see it become more standard in service-oriented professions.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:03 PM on May 20, 2018
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 3:03 PM on May 20, 2018
Such a great system! We should be using this immediately in Congress and elsewhere. In my dreams, anyway. Thanks for posting, OP.
posted by Bella Donna at 3:13 PM on May 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 3:13 PM on May 20, 2018 [6 favorites]
I really like that it takes no justification, there is no way for the reporter to be undermined in this system, and that someone can take over the table at any complaint level. I think it is super important for anyone to say that was a yellow event, but I want someone else to work with this customer.
I know I've had events where the action was minor but the creep factor was really high. I really like that it allows for stepping away without needing analysis or judgement.
I hope this policy spreads.
posted by AlexiaSky at 3:15 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
I know I've had events where the action was minor but the creep factor was really high. I really like that it allows for stepping away without needing analysis or judgement.
I hope this policy spreads.
posted by AlexiaSky at 3:15 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
The second link led me to to the Restaurant Opportunity Center's multi-point program to increase racial and gender equity in restaurant hiring and management practices. Many interesting ideas even for those outside the restaurant industry.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:30 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 3:30 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
I like this too, and I believe her.
However, since I have a lot of experience in self-assessment programs and metrics, this line is always a red flag for me (and I swear the wording was worse when I first read this story, possibly published elsewhere, months ago):
"In the years since implementation, customer harassment has ceased to be a problem. Reds are nearly nonexistent, as most sketchy customers seem to be derailed at a yellow or orange. "
Has it ceased to be a problem, or has it stopped being reported? Not the same thing. Always be careful with that conclusion.
posted by ctmf at 3:59 PM on May 20, 2018 [8 favorites]
However, since I have a lot of experience in self-assessment programs and metrics, this line is always a red flag for me (and I swear the wording was worse when I first read this story, possibly published elsewhere, months ago):
"In the years since implementation, customer harassment has ceased to be a problem. Reds are nearly nonexistent, as most sketchy customers seem to be derailed at a yellow or orange. "
Has it ceased to be a problem, or has it stopped being reported? Not the same thing. Always be careful with that conclusion.
posted by ctmf at 3:59 PM on May 20, 2018 [8 favorites]
I mean, the #1 thing I hear when someone's got a harassment complaint is, "I don't want to cause a big fuss or get anyone in trouble, so I'm not sure I should report it." If you make the consequences swift and drastic, that's good! but also a lot of people are going to hold back reporting.
posted by ctmf at 4:01 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 4:01 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
But this isn't necessarily drastic. I had a similarly supportive manager when I was waiting tables, and all I had to do was to say to him in passing was, "Could you please take over table 10?" and the problem table would then have an intimidating yet suave, tall, heavily-muscled gentleman meeting its needs.
posted by jfwlucy at 4:13 PM on May 20, 2018 [20 favorites]
posted by jfwlucy at 4:13 PM on May 20, 2018 [20 favorites]
Right, that's the good part, the lower gradations of response, so it doesn't HAVE to be a big deal. Still, when you think the problem's gone away is always the time to be more vigilant that you're measuring the right thing using all the indicators, and not just seeing what you want to see when one indicator agrees with you.
posted by ctmf at 5:30 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by ctmf at 5:30 PM on May 20, 2018 [1 favorite]
Yes, I love that this both involves automatically believing the complainant and also offering a no-harm intervention for low level issues, so you never have to worry about whether the issue is serious enough to warrant reporting.
There's a dude at work who gives off a vibe, and all the women agree they are uncomfortable around him, but it's nothing that sounds serious, and none of us actually want him to suffer serious consequences for it anyway. Standing too close, looking at your body instead of face, telling occasional off colour jokes that would be fine from someone who doesn't do these other things, being overly nice to good looking young women while older ones and men might as well be invisible...
We'd just like not to have to experience it anymore. I wish something like this system existed for my workplace.
posted by lollusc at 5:56 PM on May 20, 2018 [7 favorites]
There's a dude at work who gives off a vibe, and all the women agree they are uncomfortable around him, but it's nothing that sounds serious, and none of us actually want him to suffer serious consequences for it anyway. Standing too close, looking at your body instead of face, telling occasional off colour jokes that would be fine from someone who doesn't do these other things, being overly nice to good looking young women while older ones and men might as well be invisible...
We'd just like not to have to experience it anymore. I wish something like this system existed for my workplace.
posted by lollusc at 5:56 PM on May 20, 2018 [7 favorites]
Still, when you think the problem's gone away is always the time to be more vigilant that you're measuring the right thing using all the indicators, and not just seeing what you want to see when one indicator agrees with you.
I don't know why anyone would conclude that this obviously in tune and caring person has now reduced her perspective to using one invented indicator to determine whether her staff are feeling safe or not. It feels like you're taking a sound bite in an article to grind an ax here that's less about her and more about something else.
posted by notorious medium at 5:57 PM on May 20, 2018 [11 favorites]
I don't know why anyone would conclude that this obviously in tune and caring person has now reduced her perspective to using one invented indicator to determine whether her staff are feeling safe or not. It feels like you're taking a sound bite in an article to grind an ax here that's less about her and more about something else.
posted by notorious medium at 5:57 PM on May 20, 2018 [11 favorites]
Is poison an option?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:58 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:58 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
If you make the consequences swift and drastic, that's good! but also a lot of people are going to hold back reporting.
This concern does not seem like it was based on a reading of the article.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 6:20 PM on May 20, 2018 [17 favorites]
This concern does not seem like it was based on a reading of the article.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 6:20 PM on May 20, 2018 [17 favorites]
At the time of our meeting, all our shift managers were men, though their supervisors were women; something else we’ve achieved since then is diversifying each layer of management.
At least for yellow and orange, it sounds like most of the deterrence was achieved by substituting a man. I wonder if this has remained effective as they hired more women as managers.
Taking them at their word that any waiter can get a customer kicked out by claiming red, it wouldn't seem that managers should have any more power to prevent harassment than the waiters themselves. Maybe I'm missing something? E.g., maybe when managers take over tables, they start off by introducing themselves as managers?
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 7:38 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
At least for yellow and orange, it sounds like most of the deterrence was achieved by substituting a man. I wonder if this has remained effective as they hired more women as managers.
Taking them at their word that any waiter can get a customer kicked out by claiming red, it wouldn't seem that managers should have any more power to prevent harassment than the waiters themselves. Maybe I'm missing something? E.g., maybe when managers take over tables, they start off by introducing themselves as managers?
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 7:38 PM on May 20, 2018 [2 favorites]
It feels like you're taking a sound bite in an article to grind an ax here that's less about her and more about something else.
Yes, which I pretty much said in my first comment. It's a thing she should watch out for, which she probably is, and good on her. It's probably the article author, not her, that worded it such that my misleading-metric-accuracy paranoia kicked in. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think I'm criticizing her. I'm just naturally skeptical of "one weird trick" solutions to hard problems, and she should be too. That's all I'm saying.
posted by ctmf at 8:01 PM on May 20, 2018
Yes, which I pretty much said in my first comment. It's a thing she should watch out for, which she probably is, and good on her. It's probably the article author, not her, that worded it such that my misleading-metric-accuracy paranoia kicked in. I'm not sure why everyone seems to think I'm criticizing her. I'm just naturally skeptical of "one weird trick" solutions to hard problems, and she should be too. That's all I'm saying.
posted by ctmf at 8:01 PM on May 20, 2018
I applaud this also because she’s willing to lose money on red tags and just throw them out.
posted by corb at 8:17 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by corb at 8:17 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I'd expect harassment to drop to "occasional mild creepy and nothing more" levels just because the wait staff knows they don't have to tolerate it - they won't be acting helpless or frightened when someone leers at them or moves a bit too close. They won't be giving of the "potential victim" vibes that most businesses actively encourage in their service staff.
Over time, creeps looking for a target just won't go there. They won't even consciously realize why; they'll just know that "it's not fun."
The handful of evictions at first will weed out the serial abusers; the swap-for-a-manager routine will keep other potential abusers from getting worse; and the confidence of the staff when dealing with new customers will discourage them from even starting - predators count on their victims not having a way to escape, and the wait staff here won't act like they're trapped.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:32 PM on May 20, 2018 [23 favorites]
Over time, creeps looking for a target just won't go there. They won't even consciously realize why; they'll just know that "it's not fun."
The handful of evictions at first will weed out the serial abusers; the swap-for-a-manager routine will keep other potential abusers from getting worse; and the confidence of the staff when dealing with new customers will discourage them from even starting - predators count on their victims not having a way to escape, and the wait staff here won't act like they're trapped.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:32 PM on May 20, 2018 [23 favorites]
> It's probably the article author, not her,
She is the article author, if you mean the first link, which you quoted from?
posted by rtha at 9:01 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
She is the article author, if you mean the first link, which you quoted from?
posted by rtha at 9:01 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I like this color idea very much. I'm glad it works there.
I mean, the #1 thing I hear when someone's got a harassment complaint is, "I don't want to cause a big fuss or get anyone in trouble, so I'm not sure I should report it." If you make the consequences swift and drastic, that's good! but also a lot of people are going to hold back reporting.
"I don't want to cause a big fuss or get MYSELF in trouble" is why I didn't report until I was pretty much literally forced to when the other party dragged the situation into the open. I did not have confidence in upper management (note: not my own manager, who is awesome) about how it would be handled. I did not want to be a problem child when I already had a well earned reputation as being a problem child for other issues without adding this one to the pile too.
I think it's also probably one thing to report on a customer vs. someone you spend all day every day with. If you report on someone you are always with, and getting that person removed from being around you is not going to happen, then you need to account for "is this person going to get vengeful on my ass if I report?" THAT is why you don't want to cause "a big fuss." If it'll make things worse on you if you report--that is the #1 thing you have to consider really heavily (usually, if not at this restaurant now) before you say anything. Will you be backed up or hung out to die?
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:39 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
I mean, the #1 thing I hear when someone's got a harassment complaint is, "I don't want to cause a big fuss or get anyone in trouble, so I'm not sure I should report it." If you make the consequences swift and drastic, that's good! but also a lot of people are going to hold back reporting.
"I don't want to cause a big fuss or get MYSELF in trouble" is why I didn't report until I was pretty much literally forced to when the other party dragged the situation into the open. I did not have confidence in upper management (note: not my own manager, who is awesome) about how it would be handled. I did not want to be a problem child when I already had a well earned reputation as being a problem child for other issues without adding this one to the pile too.
I think it's also probably one thing to report on a customer vs. someone you spend all day every day with. If you report on someone you are always with, and getting that person removed from being around you is not going to happen, then you need to account for "is this person going to get vengeful on my ass if I report?" THAT is why you don't want to cause "a big fuss." If it'll make things worse on you if you report--that is the #1 thing you have to consider really heavily (usually, if not at this restaurant now) before you say anything. Will you be backed up or hung out to die?
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:39 PM on May 20, 2018 [4 favorites]
I agree jenfullmoon, I've seen that happening before, certainly. But there are also people who don't want a big investigation with stuff in people's files, possible disciplinary action, and this whole black cloud hanging over; all they want is someone to say "hey, knock it off". At least where I work, there's no such thing - one mention of a possible harassment situation and that gets panic-phone-relayed up to the very top in hours. Even if it turns out to be a "hey, knock it off" simple solution, it's very awkward to do that with a thousand eyes waiting with white knuckles to see what happens. I like this solution mostly for the low-level low-stakes options, which probably resolves the majority of cases.
What it *doesn't* do (and no system is perfect) is track and document the boundary pushers who will just go to the next restaurant and try the same thing. In a restaurant, that's not her problem anymore. In a big organization, I can't have people shopping for where they can get away with it. I need to identify and fix it and/or keep a record so I can tell we've "yellow carded" the same dude 30 times. Maybe she has a way to do that too, or it's small enough where she can just remember.
posted by ctmf at 10:09 PM on May 20, 2018
What it *doesn't* do (and no system is perfect) is track and document the boundary pushers who will just go to the next restaurant and try the same thing. In a restaurant, that's not her problem anymore. In a big organization, I can't have people shopping for where they can get away with it. I need to identify and fix it and/or keep a record so I can tell we've "yellow carded" the same dude 30 times. Maybe she has a way to do that too, or it's small enough where she can just remember.
posted by ctmf at 10:09 PM on May 20, 2018
ok, eyes don't have knuckles, bad mixed figure of speech there
posted by ctmf at 10:12 PM on May 20, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by ctmf at 10:12 PM on May 20, 2018 [5 favorites]
This is a cool system. As an FYI, Homeroom is always busy and has been since they opened probably like ten years ago or more, so there's no economic risk. Obviously this system doesn't help when your manager is your harasser but for when he's your customer it seems elegant and effective and puts the worker/harassment target's need first in a very efficient way.
I think a policy like this comes from having a feminist boss but probably more importantly from the larger political atmosphere of Oakland where there's an ambient impact from the labor activists and feminists and so forth who work on this stuff full time and move the social expectations and rules toward more justice and fairness.
posted by latkes at 11:22 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I think a policy like this comes from having a feminist boss but probably more importantly from the larger political atmosphere of Oakland where there's an ambient impact from the labor activists and feminists and so forth who work on this stuff full time and move the social expectations and rules toward more justice and fairness.
posted by latkes at 11:22 PM on May 20, 2018 [3 favorites]
I need to identify and fix it and/or keep a record so I can tell we've "yellow carded" the same dude 30 times. Maybe she has a way to do that too, or it's small enough where she can just remember.
Indeed, recognizing repeat customers (including problem customers) is a key skill in restaurant management. Servers remember people too. They normally just keep that stuff up in their heads.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:30 AM on May 21, 2018 [6 favorites]
Indeed, recognizing repeat customers (including problem customers) is a key skill in restaurant management. Servers remember people too. They normally just keep that stuff up in their heads.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 5:30 AM on May 21, 2018 [6 favorites]
First off, I'm so glad to see smart and good people implement great solutions like this.
I wonder why it wasn't put in place decades ago; I can imagine the real answer to this question.
Also:
...
Over time, creeps looking for a target just won't go there. They won't even consciously realize why; they'll just know that "it's not fun."
...
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 9:32 PM on May 20
After restaurants and bars started banning cigarettes you could see them brighten up and become alive. I never again went into a dingy god forsaken smoke dungeon again.
I have a feeling that this will have the same effect.
posted by Increase at 6:44 AM on May 21, 2018 [4 favorites]
I wonder why it wasn't put in place decades ago; I can imagine the real answer to this question.
Also:
...
Over time, creeps looking for a target just won't go there. They won't even consciously realize why; they'll just know that "it's not fun."
...
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 9:32 PM on May 20
After restaurants and bars started banning cigarettes you could see them brighten up and become alive. I never again went into a dingy god forsaken smoke dungeon again.
I have a feeling that this will have the same effect.
posted by Increase at 6:44 AM on May 21, 2018 [4 favorites]
It's been said in this thread, but bears repeating: not requiring people to describe their experience in order to have just the potential to have it taken seriously is incredible.
I am trying to think of how this could be incorporated into an non-service type of environment where you have to deal with the same people day after day. Too many yellows and you receive a warning? I don't know, but I think it could be attempted.
posted by Emmy Rae at 8:14 AM on May 21, 2018 [2 favorites]
I am trying to think of how this could be incorporated into an non-service type of environment where you have to deal with the same people day after day. Too many yellows and you receive a warning? I don't know, but I think it could be attempted.
posted by Emmy Rae at 8:14 AM on May 21, 2018 [2 favorites]
I think the thing I love most about this is that it completely upends the usual structures that enable continued harassment. Usually it's the harasser who gets the benefit of the doubt, and the person being harassed has to stay in the situation if there aren't umpteen witnesses and "enough proof," which allows harassers to be subtle and sneaky.
This system of doesn't allow for that kind of subtle, sneaky harassment. The server can exit the situation just because of a creepy vibe, and the customer can't even complain he's being unfairly treated--he just has a different person serving him now. It shifts the support of the community (especially the managers) to the servers who need it.
The people being harassed don't have to defend themselves against complaints that they're being "too sensitive," they aren't forced to continue interacting with their harassers, they aren't on trial. They're surrounded by their community, and they are immediately relieved of having to interact with the harasser.
Emmy Rae, I agree, it would be great to see this implemented outside the service industry. It would require organizations to adopt a culture of believing the people experiencing harassment first, though.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:22 AM on May 21, 2018 [9 favorites]
This system of doesn't allow for that kind of subtle, sneaky harassment. The server can exit the situation just because of a creepy vibe, and the customer can't even complain he's being unfairly treated--he just has a different person serving him now. It shifts the support of the community (especially the managers) to the servers who need it.
The people being harassed don't have to defend themselves against complaints that they're being "too sensitive," they aren't forced to continue interacting with their harassers, they aren't on trial. They're surrounded by their community, and they are immediately relieved of having to interact with the harasser.
Emmy Rae, I agree, it would be great to see this implemented outside the service industry. It would require organizations to adopt a culture of believing the people experiencing harassment first, though.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:22 AM on May 21, 2018 [9 favorites]
One of the things I like about this actually is that it doesn't require that the manager believe the server. At no point does the policy say "and if the manager believes the report is credible…" or anything like that. Whether or not the manager believes the server is actually totally irrelevant under this policy—it just says that if the server says X, the manager does Y, the end.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:34 PM on May 21, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 4:34 PM on May 21, 2018 [8 favorites]
That's true, it doesn't require that the managers believe, which is definitely part of its simplicity and effectiveness.
I suppose it would only require the will of those at the very top of an organization to believe, and this be moved to implement the system. The reason it worked at Homeroom is the owner empowered the servers to create a system to prevent harassment. She encouraged a culture where women would be believed. It's probably a bit of a chicken and egg thing: the male managers had a system to follow whether or not they believed the reporting server; however, as time went on, they became more aware of and sensitive to the servers' experiences.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:54 PM on May 21, 2018 [1 favorite]
I suppose it would only require the will of those at the very top of an organization to believe, and this be moved to implement the system. The reason it worked at Homeroom is the owner empowered the servers to create a system to prevent harassment. She encouraged a culture where women would be believed. It's probably a bit of a chicken and egg thing: the male managers had a system to follow whether or not they believed the reporting server; however, as time went on, they became more aware of and sensitive to the servers' experiences.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:54 PM on May 21, 2018 [1 favorite]
I live close to Home Room and I can say without hyperbole that their dishes are the greatest mac 'n' cheese in the history of civilization. If we hadn't already made dinner tonight I'd order Home Room delivery.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:12 PM on May 21, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 7:12 PM on May 21, 2018 [3 favorites]
Oh, man, it just occurred to me to run the numbers: Most restaurants run on something like 3-5% profit margin, which means a place like Homeroom which charges (PDF menu) 10-20 USD for an entree will lose about $1 per evicted customer. Let's be very conservative and go up an order of magnitude: $10 per eviction.
I can imagine a sufficiently enlightened business owner foregoing the occasional $10 out of the goodness of his heart. I will not hold my breath while we wait for a critical mass of business owners enlightened enough to forego the occasional $100, $1000, $10k out of the goodness of their hearts.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 10:09 PM on May 21, 2018
I can imagine a sufficiently enlightened business owner foregoing the occasional $10 out of the goodness of his heart. I will not hold my breath while we wait for a critical mass of business owners enlightened enough to forego the occasional $100, $1000, $10k out of the goodness of their hearts.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 10:09 PM on May 21, 2018
Oh, man, it just occurred to me to run the numbers: Most restaurants run on something like 3-5% profit margin, which means a place like Homeroom which charges (PDF menu) 10-20 USD for an entree will lose about $1 per evicted customer. Let's be very conservative and go up an order of magnitude: $10 per eviction.
What nonsense math. Restaurants are not widget manufacturers or whatever econ 101 fantasy you have in your head.
1). The article describes most creeps as "testing the waters", and escalating gradually. I suspect that most creeps don't do something kickout worthy when the server drops the menu at the start of the meal, but rather after they have food being cooked. The inciting incident in the story happened to a busser that was clearing the table after the meal had already been eaten. So the food and drink costs are mostly or entirely gone when someone is kicked out.
2). Most restaurant costs are fixed - rent, salaries, startup costs - and so the primary cost of a person occupying a table during busy hours only to get kicked out without dining and paying is opportunity cost.
It's not implausible for a cretin to show up at 6:30, snag the last table (solo at a four-top) and harass the server after they have been served a beer and ordered a meal. They get kicked out, and the restaurant is out on the order of $10 for the product that they either served or is half-cooked in the kitchen and they will now have to toss, plus the the $80 (say $60 net of food costs) that they turned away when a party of four showed up two minutes after the creep sat down.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:34 PM on May 21, 2018 [3 favorites]
What nonsense math. Restaurants are not widget manufacturers or whatever econ 101 fantasy you have in your head.
1). The article describes most creeps as "testing the waters", and escalating gradually. I suspect that most creeps don't do something kickout worthy when the server drops the menu at the start of the meal, but rather after they have food being cooked. The inciting incident in the story happened to a busser that was clearing the table after the meal had already been eaten. So the food and drink costs are mostly or entirely gone when someone is kicked out.
2). Most restaurant costs are fixed - rent, salaries, startup costs - and so the primary cost of a person occupying a table during busy hours only to get kicked out without dining and paying is opportunity cost.
It's not implausible for a cretin to show up at 6:30, snag the last table (solo at a four-top) and harass the server after they have been served a beer and ordered a meal. They get kicked out, and the restaurant is out on the order of $10 for the product that they either served or is half-cooked in the kitchen and they will now have to toss, plus the the $80 (say $60 net of food costs) that they turned away when a party of four showed up two minutes after the creep sat down.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:34 PM on May 21, 2018 [3 favorites]
Oh, yeah, you're totally right. That's much more optimistic.
Sorry, I do not have a lot of experience with sit-down restaurants. I was thinking of those carry-out places that hold food on steam tables. Their food isn't considered served until they hand over the box, so if you mouth off before then (which is less than a minute before you walk out) it's totally legal for them to dump your order back into the pan.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 10:52 PM on May 21, 2018
Sorry, I do not have a lot of experience with sit-down restaurants. I was thinking of those carry-out places that hold food on steam tables. Their food isn't considered served until they hand over the box, so if you mouth off before then (which is less than a minute before you walk out) it's totally legal for them to dump your order back into the pan.
posted by meaty shoe puppet at 10:52 PM on May 21, 2018
One thing that's not part of this policy is what is to be done about harassment by coworkers and managers. Harassment by customers is obviously a major problem, but in a lot of jobs most workers never even see their customers. I've heard numerous stories of restaraunt workers being harassed and assaulted by their coworkers and managers without any consequence (not to mention folks who work in other fields than food service) and that seems like at least as big a part of the problem, if not moreso.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 8:42 AM on May 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 8:42 AM on May 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
Yeah re the econ thing: I do think part of what makes the owner of Homeroom feel expansive about this, besides that I take her at her word that she cares, is that they are extremely successful. There is a wait most nights, they have a bustling take out business a block away, and their main ingredient, macaroni, is inexpensive.
I'm sure running Homeroom is hard work and again I believe her that she's a feminist, and I've never seen their books obviously, but capitalism being what it is, Homeroom's relative success must make this easier.
posted by latkes at 5:14 PM on May 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
I'm sure running Homeroom is hard work and again I believe her that she's a feminist, and I've never seen their books obviously, but capitalism being what it is, Homeroom's relative success must make this easier.
posted by latkes at 5:14 PM on May 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
Easier but perhaps now that it's done not that hard for others. Only 'reds' lose them business, otherwise they just swap out servers and the customer probably doesn't even understand why. And reds are apparently vanishingly rare.
The solid business was probably more help indirectly, in being willing to try something like this in the first place and perhaps in setting up a workplace where there was a baseline level of trust between management and servers.
posted by mark k at 6:17 PM on May 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
The solid business was probably more help indirectly, in being willing to try something like this in the first place and perhaps in setting up a workplace where there was a baseline level of trust between management and servers.
posted by mark k at 6:17 PM on May 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
You can't discount, from a basic finances point of view, how a program like this must do something to retain good employees as well. Show me any working woman in any profession and I can guarantee you that she has likely left a job because it was unfriendly to women, unfriendly to her. Women are constantly making the "choice" to abandon a job or company because she is demoralized, stonewalled, prevented from advancing, etc., etc.. An environment that is healthy for women is most likely one that is healthy for everyone including men. That counts.
posted by amanda at 9:48 AM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by amanda at 9:48 AM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
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However, I wish it included more yelling “SIR THAT IS A WILDLY INNAPROPRTIATE THING TO SAY ALSO I JUST CALLED YOUR MOTHER AND SHE IS VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK”
posted by Grandysaur at 1:02 PM on May 20, 2018 [37 favorites]