Calvin and Hobbes talking about The Old Days
May 23, 2018 9:53 AM Subscribe
In the final minutes of his life, Calvin has one last talk with Hobbes.
Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. "Hello Hobbes. It's been a long time hasn't it old pal?"
Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered.
"It sure has, Calvin." said Hobbes.
"Tell me everything I missed. I'd love to hear what you've been up to!" Hobbes said, excited.
And so Calvin told him everything.
He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grandkids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on.
After he told Hobbes all this, there was another pregnant pause.
via r/WritingPrompts
Calvin then turned to face his oldest and dearest friend. "Hello Hobbes. It's been a long time hasn't it old pal?"
Hobbes was no longer a stuffed doll but the big furry old tiger Calvin had always remembered.
"It sure has, Calvin." said Hobbes.
"Tell me everything I missed. I'd love to hear what you've been up to!" Hobbes said, excited.
And so Calvin told him everything.
He told him about how he and Susie fell in love in high school and had married after graduating from college, about his three kids and four grandkids, how he turned Spaceman Spiff into one of the most popular sci-fi novels of the decade, and so on.
After he told Hobbes all this, there was another pregnant pause.
via r/WritingPrompts
Yeah, that first one will kill you. I've read it before and it still twangs the heart a little too hard.
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:12 AM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:12 AM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
I don't think Susie really did a good job washing Hobbes. Lots of dust.
posted by nubs at 10:13 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by nubs at 10:13 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
I’m not crying you’re crying
posted by Grandysaur at 10:13 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Grandysaur at 10:13 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
excuse me but what the fuck how dare
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on May 23, 2018 [25 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:18 AM on May 23, 2018 [25 favorites]
And then Hobbes FINALLY ate him.
posted by delfin at 10:25 AM on May 23, 2018 [27 favorites]
posted by delfin at 10:25 AM on May 23, 2018 [27 favorites]
I like the part where he sends his beloved wife of 53 years out of the room so he can spend some of the last few minutes of his life alone talking to a stuffed toy.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:28 AM on May 23, 2018 [16 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:28 AM on May 23, 2018 [16 favorites]
What is this saccharine BS.
This is C&H.
posted by stinkfoot at 10:32 AM on May 23, 2018 [31 favorites]
This is C&H.
posted by stinkfoot at 10:32 AM on May 23, 2018 [31 favorites]
The webcomic "Pants are Overrated" did a short series of strips that deal with Calvin, Hobbes, and Susie in middle-age. They name their first child Bacon. Bacon and Hobbes
posted by shenkerism at 10:37 AM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by shenkerism at 10:37 AM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
I like the part where he sends his beloved wife of 53 years out of the room so he can spend some of the last few minutes of his life alone talking to a stuffed toy.
After 53 years, what else do you figure they have to talk about?
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
After 53 years, what else do you figure they have to talk about?
posted by Etrigan at 10:37 AM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
*bwahahahahhaha*
*howls and grabs kleenex*
Yes, I am crying.
posted by infini at 10:47 AM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
*howls and grabs kleenex*
Yes, I am crying.
posted by infini at 10:47 AM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
“Tell me everything I missed. I'd love to hear what you've been up to!" Hobbes said, excited.
And so Calvin told him everything
“Wow, I really did miss a lot. When did you stop peeing on truck manufacturer/sports team logos?”
posted by dr_dank at 10:53 AM on May 23, 2018 [24 favorites]
And so Calvin told him everything
“Wow, I really did miss a lot. When did you stop peeing on truck manufacturer/sports team logos?”
posted by dr_dank at 10:53 AM on May 23, 2018 [24 favorites]
Is there going to be a sled named Rosebud?
posted by theora55 at 11:07 AM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by theora55 at 11:07 AM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
The Bacon and Hobbes strips are great. There was also a strip for a while called "Calvin and Company" that had a similar premise, only Calvin and Susie had two kids (maybe twins?), a boy and a girl who sort of split up the original Calvin's id and intellect. The artist got hit with a C&D and had to take everything down (I've got all the strips saved on a drive somewhere), but there's a few examples here.
I'm not reading this thing until later because I already went through my kid's pre-K graduation and I'm seeing Hamilton tonight, so like _another_ day when I feel like going through an emotional ringer, I'll come back to this.
posted by Maaik at 11:10 AM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
I'm not reading this thing until later because I already went through my kid's pre-K graduation and I'm seeing Hamilton tonight, so like _another_ day when I feel like going through an emotional ringer, I'll come back to this.
posted by Maaik at 11:10 AM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
I’m not sure whether this made my day or broke it altogether, but I’m so glad to have read this. Please excuse the tearstains.
Thanks for the post.
posted by Silverstone at 11:14 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Thanks for the post.
posted by Silverstone at 11:14 AM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
Don't forget The Whelk's take on Calvin's adulthood!
I love how every single one of these pieces predicting Calvin's future show that Calvin and Susie got together.
posted by Melismata at 11:52 AM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
I love how every single one of these pieces predicting Calvin's future show that Calvin and Susie got together.
posted by Melismata at 11:52 AM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie belies a limited imagination unbecoming of its subject matter
posted by beerperson at 11:53 AM on May 23, 2018 [37 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 11:53 AM on May 23, 2018 [37 favorites]
adult calvin is frazz, guys
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 12:25 PM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by nixon's meatloaf at 12:25 PM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
It's very dusty in my office right now.
posted by something_witty at 12:25 PM on May 23, 2018
posted by something_witty at 12:25 PM on May 23, 2018
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie belies a limited imagination unbecoming of its subject matter
Oh, I'm sorry.
posted by Maaik at 12:30 PM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
Oh, I'm sorry.
posted by Maaik at 12:30 PM on May 23, 2018 [7 favorites]
i believe you
posted by beerperson at 12:32 PM on May 23, 2018
posted by beerperson at 12:32 PM on May 23, 2018
This thread proves Watterson's Razor, which says that the overwhelming effect of reading anything that references Calvin & Hobbes in any way, no matter how funny, clever or moving, is never quite as good as Calvin & Hobbes and serves mainly as a reminder of just how great Calvin & Hobbes really is.
posted by chavenet at 12:51 PM on May 23, 2018 [25 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 12:51 PM on May 23, 2018 [25 favorites]
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie belies a limited imagination unbecoming of its subject matter
FTFY
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:57 PM on May 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
FTFY
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:57 PM on May 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
(or on non-preview, what chavenet said in a less snarky manner)
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:58 PM on May 23, 2018
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:58 PM on May 23, 2018
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie belies a limited imagination unbecoming of its subject matter
Nah, it's just a riff on how insular their world is. FYI: Ms Wormwood is also their kids' teacher (whoa! Serendipity !!), and Calvin and the bully kid (don't recall his name) reconciled and is now their god father. But his kid is also a bully.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:10 PM on May 23, 2018
Nah, it's just a riff on how insular their world is. FYI: Ms Wormwood is also their kids' teacher (whoa! Serendipity !!), and Calvin and the bully kid (don't recall his name) reconciled and is now their god father. But his kid is also a bully.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:10 PM on May 23, 2018
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie
Yep, I got to that part and rolled my eyes. Kind of ruined whatever else I was going to get out of it. I love C&H but I also was a studious boring girl who got teased by boys for doing my homework and I didn't marry those dumbass boys! What happened to Susie? She got into college early and got the hell out of town. Found friends she could actually relate to vs the only other kid on her block.
I hope Calvin and his amazing imagination and ability to see through bullshit took him in a good direction in life, but chaining poor Susie to him just seems mean.
posted by Emmy Rae at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2018 [17 favorites]
Yep, I got to that part and rolled my eyes. Kind of ruined whatever else I was going to get out of it. I love C&H but I also was a studious boring girl who got teased by boys for doing my homework and I didn't marry those dumbass boys! What happened to Susie? She got into college early and got the hell out of town. Found friends she could actually relate to vs the only other kid on her block.
I hope Calvin and his amazing imagination and ability to see through bullshit took him in a good direction in life, but chaining poor Susie to him just seems mean.
posted by Emmy Rae at 1:27 PM on May 23, 2018 [17 favorites]
every Calvin & Hobbes riff that imagines Calvin got married to Susie...
Calvin/MoeTheBully is more inventive but it's a bit of an eccentric ship
Hobbes/T-Rex is best
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:02 PM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
Calvin/MoeTheBully is more inventive but it's a bit of an eccentric ship
Hobbes/T-Rex is best
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:02 PM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
With his constant mistreatment of Susie, founding of GROSS, and open disrespect of all adult women in his life (Mrs. Wormwood, Rosalyn, and his own mom), Calvin kind of looks like a harbinger of all the current stuff going on with toxic masculinity.
Ugh, I think I just ruined my own childhood.
posted by FJT at 2:09 PM on May 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
Ugh, I think I just ruined my own childhood.
posted by FJT at 2:09 PM on May 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
In which Calvin does not get married to Susie.
posted by stet at 2:10 PM on May 23, 2018 [31 favorites]
posted by stet at 2:10 PM on May 23, 2018 [31 favorites]
stet, that warmed my heart! I teared up.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:22 PM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:22 PM on May 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
With his constant mistreatment of Susie, founding of GROSS, and open disrespect of all adult women in his life (Mrs. Wormwood, Rosalyn, and his own mom), Calvin kind of looks like a harbinger of all the current stuff going on with toxic masculinity.
Ugh, I think I just ruined my own childhood.
Stahp.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:36 PM on May 23, 2018
Ugh, I think I just ruined my own childhood.
Stahp.
posted by craven_morhead at 2:36 PM on May 23, 2018
In which Calvin does not get married to Susie.
I like this one better.
posted by atoxyl at 3:09 PM on May 23, 2018
I like this one better.
posted by atoxyl at 3:09 PM on May 23, 2018
Surprised nobody has linked to the formerly viral "End of Calvin and Hobbes".
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:16 PM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:16 PM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
If there's any weak point in Calvin and Hobbes it's the problematic "Women--Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em." mentality that pervades it. Calvin and Hobbes manages to tackle a lot of other heavy topics with a nuanced, thoughtful approach but there's not a whole lot there when it comes to women's perspective.
Of course, Calvin and Hobbes was written from Watterson's personal view on boyhood but we should expect writers to be thoughtful about viewpoints other than their own in their work.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:23 PM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
Of course, Calvin and Hobbes was written from Watterson's personal view on boyhood but we should expect writers to be thoughtful about viewpoints other than their own in their work.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 4:23 PM on May 23, 2018 [4 favorites]
I used to not at all understand why Watterson didn't allow for Hobbes dolls to be stitched up for kids to have them.
I've come to understand, I think anyway.... or appreciate, at least, that staunch standpoint as I matured. I think it's a good decision in so many ways.
Just gimme a few more years for the 3 year old to get a bit older then this will be introduced as best I can into her reading material, well not this but the real stuff. Thanks for the post.
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:06 PM on May 23, 2018
I've come to understand, I think anyway.... or appreciate, at least, that staunch standpoint as I matured. I think it's a good decision in so many ways.
Just gimme a few more years for the 3 year old to get a bit older then this will be introduced as best I can into her reading material, well not this but the real stuff. Thanks for the post.
posted by RolandOfEld at 6:06 PM on May 23, 2018
I rather like this take. Not a too-cute romance (not that I didn't also enjoy those) but it does have a nice riff on adolescence, and is about Susie and Calvin without compressing the world down to just them.
posted by Wretch729 at 6:31 PM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by Wretch729 at 6:31 PM on May 23, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is really bad and if anything I hate it more now than I did when it first appeared a really, REALLY long time ago
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:22 PM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:22 PM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by bryon at 11:11 PM on May 23, 2018 [2 favorites]
Hadn’t seen what stet posted before. Thanks, stet. I needed that.
posted by nat at 12:32 AM on May 24, 2018
posted by nat at 12:32 AM on May 24, 2018
Okay, so this is doggerel, but is anyone else reading this after having come immediately out of the "no one can afford to have kids" thread? Because I am. It just makes me inconsolably sad that I'll never have kids or grandkids to whom I can pass down wisdom, cherished heirlooms or aged collections of Calvin & Hobbes comics. I just can't even right now.
posted by zeusianfog at 1:21 PM on May 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by zeusianfog at 1:21 PM on May 24, 2018 [1 favorite]
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