Tether your goats!
June 15, 2018 11:36 AM   Subscribe

Have you tethered your goats? Might be a good idea as our slippery bovid friends are active escape artists. Even working goats like to go on the lam. No need for a West Point cadet to steal them, they are perfectly capable of taking themselves for a walk. Apparently, there was even a video game about the subject. So tether your goats. Or don’t! They’ll probably get loose anyways!
posted by Homo neanderthalensis (14 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
There's also a more recent video game.
posted by rhizome at 11:45 AM on June 15, 2018 [3 favorites]


Didn’t fit with the theme of goat escapes :). I love that game to bits though.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 11:51 AM on June 15, 2018


Au contraire, the goat in Goat Simulator is nothing but escaping. Repeatedly!
posted by rhizome at 12:04 PM on June 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


They’ll probably get loose anyways!

Goats have nothing on Highland cattle, which are extremely self-willed and they laugh at paltry electrified barb-wire fences when the neighbors' backyard full of highly-prized (and tasty) ornamental plants beckons. Please don't ask me how I know this. *breaks down sobbing*
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:08 PM on June 15, 2018 [2 favorites]




Goats are nice :’)
posted by gucci mane at 12:26 PM on June 15, 2018




"There are currently goats loose in the back parking lot," the dispatcher says.

"Interesting," an officer replies.


I'm suddenly heavily reminded of the time that the bees that live on the roof of the building I work in decided to swarm. Unfortunately, the swarm opted to establish residence in one of the building's two elevators. This was very upsetting to the many people who tried to go to one of the upper floors and were met by an occupied elevator full of bees, but even with that in mind I'm still confused about whoever it was who decided to call the cops on the squatter bees.

This is how I have always imagined that dispatch to have gone.
posted by sciatrix at 12:53 PM on June 15, 2018 [6 favorites]


Just be careful what you tether your goat to.

Yes. That tale, like so many in Norse mythology, has an important and practical lesson for everyday life. And that lesson is: do not tie your goat to Loki's testicles unless you need to make a blind giantess chuckle.

(Boy! Bring me that goat!)
posted by The Bellman at 1:08 PM on June 15, 2018 [3 favorites]


Hey rhizome, that's a great game but do you think you can choose a video that doesn't include the sentence "get off of me you filthy whore"? I don't think we should be normalizing that part of gaming culture (or the other worst parts).
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:34 PM on June 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


What I know is that goats don’t much like lorries, but they really hate boats.
posted by chrismaclee at 6:45 PM on June 15, 2018


Two men were walking through the woods and came upon a big, black, deep hole. One man picked up a rock and tossed it into the hole and stood listening for the rock to hit bottom. Nothing.
He turned to the other guy and said "that must be a deep hole...let's throw a bigger rock in there and listen for it to hit bottom." The men found a bigger rock and both picked it up and lugged it to the hole and dropped it in. They listened for some time and....nothing.
Again, they agreed that this must be one deep hole and maybe they should throw something even bigger into it. One man spotted a big log nearby. They picked it up, grunting and groaning, and threw it to the hole, listening intently......nothing.
All of a sudden, a goat came flying out of the woods, running like the wind, and flew past the men and jumped straight into the hole. The men were astounded.

They walked on through the woods, and a little later met an old farmer who asked the men if they had seen a goat. One man told the farmer of the incredible incident they had just witnessed...they had just seen this goat fly out of the woods, and run and leap into the big hole. He asked the farmer if this could have been his goat.

The old farmer said "Naw, that can't be my goat...he was chained to a big log."
posted by BlueHorse at 6:46 PM on June 15, 2018 [6 favorites]


"...but you tether one goat..."
posted by rhizome at 7:10 PM on June 15, 2018 [1 favorite]


one of the best headlines
posted by idiopath at 9:10 PM on June 15, 2018 [2 favorites]


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