If I only had a brain

May 31, 2002 12:28 PM

If I only had a brain or a bible thats on fire. "When was the last time your class saw how "HOT" God's Word is? Open this authentic looking "bible" and begin to share the scripture for the day as real flames are seen coming from your "bible". I have not the words.
posted by KevinSkomsvold (14 comments total)

What? "Composure" not included? Feh.
posted by gummi at 12:32 PM on May 31, 2002

Bible... on fire. Are you sure this isn't a covert Satanist supply catalog's site?
posted by darukaru at 12:33 PM on May 31, 2002

I hope people don't put their nose in the bible....ha!
posted by corpse at 12:40 PM on May 31, 2002

2 Peter 2:5-7
...if he did not spare the ancient world when he brought the flood on its ungodly people, but protected Noah, a preacher of righteousness, and seven others; if he condemned the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and made them an example of what is going to happen to the ungodly; and if he rescued Lot, a righteous man, who was distressed by the filthy lives of lawless men

*sizzzle* now that's hot.
posted by aaronshaf at 12:59 PM on May 31, 2002

If my perceptions are correct, these appear to be teaching tools for the budding little Christian. If I had stuff this cool in Sunday school, hell who knows; maybe I'd be on their team right now.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 1:01 PM on May 31, 2002

This is bound to ignite a few flame wars....
posted by rushmc at 1:08 PM on May 31, 2002

"Be careful little eyes what you see" with the brain. Everything you ever see will be stored in your brain...; it can never be removed. (Mold gummy worms or cards with items on them into the gelatin), ask your students to tell you what little Johnny or Susie has been watching on TV when no one's around.

Oh, for cryin' out loud....
posted by rushmc at 1:09 PM on May 31, 2002

There must be no miscegenation among the puppets...

"Includes New Unique Rod Design And Built In Rod Receivers"
... ... ok, that one is too easy.
posted by malphigian at 1:49 PM on May 31, 2002

You're not allowed to use the rods and rod receivers on your puppets outside of the sanctity of Puppetry, or it's a mortal sin.
posted by Danelope at 2:05 PM on May 31, 2002

Luckily, the heart and brain gelatin molds "will last for generations." I can just see it, in 2176... "Yeah, my grandfather left me this piece of plastic shit."
posted by crunchland at 2:18 PM on May 31, 2002

Did anyone else notice that the Armor of God wouldn't cover the naughty bits?
posted by shagoth at 2:27 PM on May 31, 2002

Somewhere, a small baby is crying...you know who it is.
posted by davidmsc at 2:28 PM on May 31, 2002

For another ten bucks they'll throw in some brimstone...
posted by jonmc at 4:18 PM on May 31, 2002

And for an extra 17.50 you can purchase a pedophile preist game kit.
posted by MaddCutty at 8:02 PM on May 31, 2002