A Porous Reality In The Government Communications Office

July 21, 2018 9:37 AM

The UK's Civil Service has a high opinion of itself and is proud of its history. It publishes a periodical, Civil Service Quarterly, so that its bureaucrats may read about themselves, and the latest edition included a long, illustrated article about the history of public communication. But all was not as it seemed.

Among the many posters and adverts covering such things as birth control, energy usage and dentistry was one from Scarfolk (previously). Scarfolk is a place in North West England that, while not having any physical existence, is entirely familiar to anyone who grew up in 1970s Britain. It mixes the stern yet caring style of the post-war UK state with a push over the edge into Orwellian fever-dream. Imagine The Prisoner set in a post-industrial town with schools, shops, pop festivals and all the accoutrements of normal life.

The poster in question was a take on an actual 70s government campaign raising awareness about rabies, which was kept at bay through strict quarantine regulations and scare tactics. In the UK, this involved recognsing when an animal had rabies and how to inform the authorities. In Scarfolk, the official line was if you thought your children had rabies, don't hesitate to shoot them.

Of course, Scarfolk has sent a cease-and-esist letter. The offending poster has been replaced in the online version of the article, but the printed copies have already gone out. Scarfolkians and others now await an explanation about how the poster slipped between the shadow universe and this one: meanwhile, citizens are reminded to seek medical advice rather than firearms if confronted with a sickly child.

(If you have enjoyed your visit to Scarfolk, please consider exploring Hookland, a southerly conterpart in the queasy realms.)

posted by Devonian (13 comments total)

Having regularly come across articles in the CSQ during research binges for client work, I must say your description is spot on about the high opinion. It comes through.
posted by infini at 9:41 AM on July 21, 2018

Hah. These are great:

Illegal Resurrections

Illegal Puppetry & Ventriloquism

Band name idea from one of the real posters: The Pet Smugglers.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:12 AM on July 21, 2018

Did a spit take with this one:

Christmas Meat Orders
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:25 AM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is exactly the rabbit hole i needed.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 12:31 PM on July 21, 2018

The UK did scare tactics well. Tiny scruss was scared that the colorado beetle would nab his precious crisps.
posted by scruss at 12:39 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Here in Scarfolk, pagan rituals blend seamlessly with science;

Birthplace of Wordshore? If there’s cake, we’ll know for certain.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 2:33 PM on July 21, 2018 [2 favorites]

For more information, please re-read.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 2:51 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

Just clicked on the request to take a survey to give one's opinion of the CSQ. "Thank you for taking the time to complete this survey. It's purpose is ... ". Argh.
posted by paduasoy at 3:51 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

It goes on "If you would you to win the private tour of the Palace of Westminster ... ".
posted by paduasoy at 3:52 PM on July 21, 2018 [1 favorite]

Band name idea from one of the real posters: The Pet Smugglers.

you can have that one but i'm taking LA RAGE and the logo too
posted by capnsue at 5:43 PM on July 21, 2018 [3 favorites]

I'm in the British civil service and have never seen Civil Service Quarterly. Doesn't seem like I'm missing much.

Scarfolk on the other hand...
posted by knapah at 2:38 AM on July 22, 2018 [2 favorites]

knapah: Do you work in the senior levels of the civil service? If my experience as a Canadian civil servant is anything to go by there are always two civil services. The one comprising those who work with the government, and the one that comprises those (not to be cynical or anything) that do the actual work. The Civil Service Quarterly seems thoroughly a creature of the former, whether one is a member in good standing or mere aspirant. At least that's what I'm getting from the fact that this issue describes the response to the collapse of Carillion as an example of the civil service working successfully.
posted by Grimgrin at 2:55 PM on July 22, 2018

Well, I'm an analyst in a central government department, but we're a fairly cynical bunch so CSQ doesn't really seem to be aiming for us.
posted by knapah at 11:21 AM on July 23, 2018