"Your body is yours and yours alone. "
August 15, 2018 3:35 PM   Subscribe

"Your body is yours and yours alone. " Don’t let it be dictated or moulded into something you don’t want. Dress it how you want. Wear what you think feels good and looks good, but trust me some bandwagons aren’t worth jumping on. Your body’s going to change and then change some more and then when you think it’s finally stopped, it changes again. Keep your body hair, shave your body hair, do what you want it’s up to you, but do it for you.” (Niellah Arboine)

"At university in 2015, [Liv Little] founded gal-dem, a magazine and creative collective comprised of more than 70 women and non-binary people of colour. A clutch of awards later, they're working on a manifesto which will reinforce Little's reasons for launching the magazine, "a place where we can work out of isolation". " (Vogue)

"As I enter the tiny newsroom, I find four women – none older than 25 – sitting at their laptops in a row, facing a chipboard wall, the conversation darting casually around.” (Guardian)

Gal-dem’s interviews have included: Michaela Coel (writer and star of Chewing Gum):
"Today [Michaela’s] hair is shaved down to a No 2, and on the set of the gal-dem-Guardian cover shoot, she’s wondering aloud whether she needs to go shorter. The makeup artist and stylist are not sure, but when Coel sees [Liv Little’s] hair (a 0.5) she decides to go for it. She whips a pair of clippers from her bag as [Liv offers] to shave her head.” (Guardian)

Gal-dem (nu.gal-dem.com)'s articles include topics such as crocodile tears, cultural appropriation in the drag community, the POC drag king scene in London, pay gap for black women, and abuse in the queer community:

"White feminists weaponise the defense of innocence and insincere tears. We’ve seen it time and time again with the likes of Lena Dunham and Taylor Swift.” (Katie Goh)

"Giving black queens the agency to be who they are, and consistently supporting them during times of conflict is crucial. By continuing to chastise them for being themselves, while celebrating white queens for the exact same thing is regressive behavior.”

“By the Vixen creating events like Black Girl Magic, an ongoing drag event in Chicago, we can remind each other of our worth and give each other the creative freedom we desperately need.
” (Portia Bartley)

"[T]he KOC (The Kings of Colour, pronounced cock) Initiative; a group of black and brown artists touring major cities with a selection of unique drag king acts, including dramatic Dreamgirls renditions, unapologetic performance activism, and smooth Love Jones inspired spoken word. It’s an evening filled with cackles, adoration and pure filth.” (ifama)

"The company that incorporates ITV News, Channel 4 News, Channel 5 News and ITN Productions, pays its non-white staff 20.8% less than their white colleagues. The average bonus pay gap is 66%. Excuse me while I flip my desk and smash my computer to smithereens.” (Natalie Morris)

"It’s hard enough to break the stigma of suffering abuse in a heterosexual relationship, so much that we forget abuse can also exist in queer relationships, and when it does, we are not equipped to deal with it. I never thought I’d be abused by a woman because those are not the stories you hear.” (Katayoun Jalili)
posted by jojo and the benjamins (8 comments total) 35 users marked this as a favorite
 
There's a lot to read and ponder there, I haven't explored them all yet. But the first and last pieces alone - wow. Some good writing, and things that need to be written about. Thanks for the post.
posted by Athanassiel at 5:01 PM on August 15, 2018


Damn, I wish I'd had my shit that together at 22.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:40 PM on August 15, 2018 [6 favorites]


Nice post, jojo et al.
Liked the first link, and have reposted it for my granddaughter and to friends. Only able to skim the others so far, but will savor this for later when I can sit down for a serious read.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:08 PM on August 15, 2018


Awesome post! First heard of them in the Guardian too, their website was impacted by the extra traffic so had it bookmarked. Looking forward to reading all the links.
posted by ellieBOA at 12:26 AM on August 16, 2018


Wow. I've only read the first post, but I'm sort of horrified by how cruel they're being to their younger self. For something that's meant to be...helpful? Inspirational? It's awfully shame-y. You look fantastic and are beautiful...also, you look like a Lego man. It's great that you like to read...but don't read silly girl things like Twilight, it rots your brain. Dress however you want...except for trends that are embarassing. Eat whatever you want! But, you know, healthy, haha, you have a great metabolism, subtext don't get fat!

I wanted to love it, but it feels like the author maybe isn't quite old enough to be writing this letter--like maybe they don't have enough emotional distance from the perfectly normal-sounding child that they were to embrace that child without mocking them. I dunno. I read it and ached for the kid who'd get that letter, and for the adult who thinks that the best thing they could offer their younger self is to tell them that they're fantastic--and also that their hair looks dumb and they read garbage and their shoes are stupid.
posted by mishafletch at 4:24 AM on August 16, 2018 [6 favorites]


Is it absolutely mandatory that every girl child must go through a phase of teen hood where they consume toxic trash media that romanticizes a "story about a misogynistic and abusive relationship shrouded under the premise of angsty vampires"? must they spend hours and hours and hours obsessively try to "fix" their hair and looks?

I get that everyone I know DID go through this, and grew out of it, but is it the best we can hope for? I don't get the shame vibe from the article, not at all.
posted by skrozidile at 8:05 AM on August 16, 2018 [2 favorites]


@skrozidile It isn't quite universal. I didn't go through anything like it, and a few other women I know didn't. But it is unfortunately common.
posted by mkuhnell at 11:23 AM on August 16, 2018


@mishafletch Agreed: I got a vibe that the 22 year old is further along the journey, but not nearly far enough to speak with authority or conviction. If I were the teen reading this, I think the words are less distressing than the vague feeling that another ten years still aren't going to get you through this. Maybe it might be more helpful to come out and just say There Is No Destination, You're In This For The Journey and then point out better ways to enjoy or cope with the days to come. Here's where I found joy, here's how I avoided trouble, here's how I survived pain.
posted by Cris E at 11:39 AM on August 16, 2018 [2 favorites]


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