the things people will do for a gig nowadays...

June 5, 2002 11:35 AM

the things people will do for a gig nowadays... sad times. sad times. :)
posted by notoriousbhc (24 comments total)

Well whatever these people did to get a gig, it must be really, really bad because my work firewall blocked the site. Damn. Have to wait till I get home now!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:08 PM on June 5, 2002

Offering to aid and abet a group of thugs, drug-runners, kidnappers and murderers? Thats not being hard up, that's downright criminal. A dear friend of mine is Colombian and many members of his family have been kidnapped and even murdered by these criminals. It may seem to be a cute joke for a hard-up designer to ask FARC for a job, but to anyone familiar with them and the terror they inflict on the people of Colombia, it's not really very funny.
posted by evanizer at 12:43 PM on June 5, 2002

For those that have it blocked:

list of the 28 foreign terrorist organizations designated by the state department. now, some of them have official websites... like FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) for example. as you can see, the design dates back to circa 1996 when geocities sites were bleeding edge. what's a poor unemployed wretch like me to do?

dear mr. reyes,

if you are going to win the revolution, you need to make your website more aesthetically pleasing and user-friendly. perhaps i can help you out. i am a web developer with three years of experience, and i have had experience in developing websites for social causes.


first of all, the main site needs to have a more navigable and logical menu structure, and the background image should be replaced or taken out altogether. the graphics could also use a bit of cleaning up. is that black blob supposed to be colombia? it looks more like an inverted emission nebula or something one would find on a rorschach test. i could produce professional-grade graphics which could bring out the true beauty of your country and your cause. in addition, you don't need frames, and the color scheme can be improved. the glow effect should also be curbed. for your english site, the beveling is outdated, the layout skewed, and the transparent image is sloppy. do you want people to think your organization is sloppy? if you want the citizens of colombia to take your organization seriously, your site needs to be modern, slick, classy, and professional. brand identity is key in turning people to your cause. please give me a call and we can work on this together.


in terms of payment, i heard your organization often dabbles in the transportation sector. i've heard that you have made surprise pick-ups of various illustrious citizens and subsequently dropped them off in unknown locations. instead of being paid with american currency [which i am sure you are averse to doing anyway], i was wondering if you could pay shakira a surprise visit and send her to my house instead.


thank you for your time and consideration.


regards,
sid prescott
web developer

it's a tough world out there...
posted by insomnyuk at 12:48 PM on June 5, 2002

Bah, I've tried sending out those sorts of emails. They never work. (Granted, my market is different, so maybe druglords and war mongers react differently than DC law firms.... though, in my heart, I doubt it.)
posted by crunchland at 12:51 PM on June 5, 2002

Oh c'mon. He's kidding about actually emailing them, of course.

Isn't he?
posted by brownpau at 1:41 PM on June 5, 2002

aiding and abetting thugs and murderers?

i'd do it for a visit from shakira!

c'mon evan. lighten up.
posted by jcterminal at 2:44 PM on June 5, 2002

Sorry, kiddo. Can't lighten up about murderers. Also, is this guy suggesting kidnapping Shakira, then raping her? Why, that's hilarious! What a card!
posted by evanizer at 3:01 PM on June 5, 2002

Er, I thought the writer was a woman?
posted by arielmeadow at 3:12 PM on June 5, 2002

Forgot to do the obligatory gender-check. Apologies. Still doesn't make it right.
posted by evanizer at 3:18 PM on June 5, 2002

Plus, FARC have amazing telecom systems. Some people say they're even better than many governments in that field. So I guess if they wanted a slick website, they could get it. They have the money. Very sad.
posted by papalotl at 4:04 PM on June 5, 2002

This is a seriously misguided attempt at humour. I would warn her that contacting terrorist organizations may have some decidedly unfunny consequences.
posted by vacapinta at 4:34 PM on June 5, 2002

vacapinta: Where on there does the author suggest that she's actually contacting the FARC? You're with the FBI or something? Pretty clear to me that the idea of doing a freakin' web site for FARC (and politely telling them about the importance of frames, etc.) was meant to be absurdist.
posted by raysmj at 5:03 PM on June 5, 2002

Indeed:

According to the US State Department, FARC (Fuerzas Armadas Revolucionarias de Colombia) is one of the 28 Designated Foreign Terrorist Organizations recognized by the US Government. Accordingly,

"It is unlawful for a person in the United States or subject to the jurisdiction of the United States to provide funds or other material support to a designated FTO. "

That said, one should be careful about making offers to such entities as FARC, even if it is in jest. More information about FARC can be found here. There are also 'right-wing' (note that right and left wing have very different meanings in other parts of the world than they do in the US) paramilitary groups engaged in the same sort of terrorist activities as FARC and the ELN in Colombia.
posted by evanizer at 5:04 PM on June 5, 2002

She's playing with fire. My comment about unfunny consequences really has more to do with the unsavory nature of these organizations than with any U.S. interests in the matter. Organizations like FARC send a chill down my spine.

If enough people link to her page, as Mefi has done, she may not even have to send the letter.
posted by vacapinta at 5:26 PM on June 5, 2002

lighten up people, and brush up on your reading and comprehension while you are at it.
posted by elphTeq at 5:57 PM on June 5, 2002

elphTeq: Oh, yes, the non-importance of frames, I meant. I don't use frames, in case you're wondering, which I'm sure you weren't.
posted by raysmj at 7:05 PM on June 5, 2002

Damn! Don't you people have a sense of humor anymore? This is pure satire for crying out loud.
posted by Qubit at 7:13 PM on June 5, 2002

But is the word funny?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:06 PM on June 5, 2002

maybe evan keeps posting how he doesn't find it funny in order to convince *himself* more than us.
posted by jcterminal at 9:33 PM on June 5, 2002

Enough with the personal attacks, please.
posted by evanizer at 9:59 PM on June 5, 2002

Yeah, they're not funny. And what's more, they're not funny. Furthermore, they're not funny...
posted by crunchland at 10:06 PM on June 5, 2002

Organizations like FARC send a chill down my spine.

Organizations like the IDF/CIA/IMF send a chill down my spine...

One (wo)man's terrorist...

As someone who has done work before for groups that oppose the oppressive governments of their country, I think the only tasteless part is to expect to get paid for it.
posted by fellorwaspushed at 7:12 AM on June 6, 2002

"Enough with the personal attacks, please."

not a personal attack. just a gentle reminder that you don't need to pull out the soap box when we're telling jokes.

kthx.
posted by jcterminal at 7:14 AM on June 6, 2002

If this would have appeared in something like MAD magazine, would you have thought different about this letter?

I'm not assuming it is a joke though - but these days you never know for sure. Let alone on the net.
posted by betobeto at 9:57 AM on June 6, 2002