Wonder Twin powers, activate!

June 6, 2002 2:53 PM

Wonder Twin powers, activate! Form of...an upcoming live-action Wonder Twins movie. Shape of...my disbelief. Does no one get that even "SuperFriends" fans hate these space losers, and their little Gleek, too?
posted by GaelFC (43 comments total)

Speak for yourself, "fan."

Shape of... a movie-goer!
posted by sudama at 3:03 PM on June 6, 2002

Don't even mess with Gleek.
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:06 PM on June 6, 2002

Damn, not two weeks ago, while lamenting the impending lameness of live action Scooby Doo, I told my younger brother that what we really needed was a live action SuperFriends.

BTW, this:

A writer is expected to come aboard shortly to write the material

is why these movies usually suck.
posted by joemaller at 3:11 PM on June 6, 2002

Dammit! Does no one appreciate Wendy and Marvin and Wonderdog?!

Gleek, indeed. Hmph.
posted by WolfDaddy at 3:14 PM on June 6, 2002

Did anyone else catch their cameo in the recent cinematic jewel, Life as a House?
posted by j.edwards at 3:15 PM on June 6, 2002

Didn't they cheat once and he turned into water IN A BUCKET so she, as an eagle, could carry him around? Come on, that defies any law of Wonder Twins physics. Unless the bucket was also made of water, but...no, that's crazy talk!
posted by GaelFC at 3:19 PM on June 6, 2002

~I would like to petition a name change, as the word "twin" reminds me of the WTC.~
posted by thirteen at 3:23 PM on June 6, 2002

There's a reason the Wonder Twins weren't asked to return for the new show Justice League. They were very lame.

Hanging out with Space Ghost, meanwhile, were Jan and Jace, a strangely similar group (though not quite as lame) who had a monkey called Blip.

Then there was Teen Force (consisting of Kid Comet, Elektra, and Moleculad), who occasionally teamed up with Space Ghost and crew. They were just silly, riding their space motorcycles or whatever they were.

Also, there were the Teen Titans. This I never saw.

Where are the "teen superheroes" these days? I guess there's a possibility that the Teen Titans may be set for a return.
posted by dammitjim at 3:29 PM on June 6, 2002

Funniest Space Ghost (modern version) episode ever was the "Lawsuit" episode, when Jan and Jace came back to sue him, and Greta Van Susteren is the defense lawyer.

JAN: We were just kids, Tad. What were you thinking, taking children into space to fight crime? Exposing us to interstellar gases, laser rays, and unearthly atmospheres which stunted our growth?

JACE: Look at us, we're still teenagers! I'm stuck in a perpetual prepubescence, and it's all your fault!

DR. NIGHTMARE: Oh, I forgot to tell ya, the monkey's suing ya too. Cruelty to animals or something.
posted by GaelFC at 3:45 PM on June 6, 2002

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is just *wrong* and lame. Even watching as a kid, the Wonder Twins were awful.

BTW, anyone heard anything about a "Land of the Lost" movie? And I'm talking about the real LotL from the 70s, not the horrifyingly bad early-90s version on Nick.
posted by davidmsc at 3:56 PM on June 6, 2002

Even more shocking than the potential fact of the movie is that from a quick scan of the linked story it doesn't look like Loren Michaels is producing. I didn't know it was possible to have a movie as crappy as this one seems destined to be without his dirty fingerprints all over the thing.
posted by willnot at 4:12 PM on June 6, 2002

Doesn't anybody get it - they are using nostalgia as a weapon against us!

People are going to see lame cartoon-to-live-action movies because of some sad commitment to their childhood memories - which are then ripped to shreds by horrifyingly bad screenwriting, terrible acting, special effects overkill, and characters who are out of character (anyone seen Daphne's martial arts moves in the Scooby trailer?)

I am trying my best to only watch original material movies this year (although I went to "Importance Of Being Earnest" last night and was duly disappointed).

No Scooby, no Spidey, no no no.
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 4:24 PM on June 6, 2002

BTW, this:

A writer is expected to come aboard shortly to write the material

is why these movies usually suck.

I think it would suck a lot worse if no writer came aboard.

Without a script or stars attached, this is just an idea that could easily never come to fruition.
posted by bingo at 4:58 PM on June 6, 2002

Unless the bucket was also made of water, but...no, that's crazy talk!

Didn't they just carry a bucket around?

WolfDaddy, you beat me to it. Wendy and Marvin and Wonderdog--oooooold school, yo?

I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict the Wonder Twins movie will suck a huge green monkey's dick.
posted by Ty Webb at 5:13 PM on June 6, 2002

Looks like somebody likes Jayna. Zan does not seem to inspire the same devotion.
posted by GaelFC at 5:21 PM on June 6, 2002

I was *going* to observer that, see, The Olsen Twins need *something* to do this summer...

which is because I was smart enough never to *watch* the Wonder Twins... and therefore didn't realize that one of them had a penis.

Isn't it still illegal to say "Olsen Twins" and "penis" in the same posting?

Does anyone think they'll take the money from Hugh when they turn 18?
posted by baylink at 5:21 PM on June 6, 2002

Just goes to show you that they are completely out of ideas. Everybody's 15 minutes of fame will now be 10 minutes of reruns.

Wagers now accepted as to when the Captain Planet movie will come out.
posted by destro at 5:27 PM on June 6, 2002

Or the Just Shoot Me movie. remember that show? wasn't it great? aww...
posted by Ty Webb at 5:29 PM on June 6, 2002

Everybody's 15 minutes of fame will now be 10 minutes of reruns.

Ooo. Ooo! OOO! Tagline alert tagline alert!

Wendy and Marvin and Wonderdog--oooooold school, yo?

Yeah, Ty, but hell if you're going to re-make something go back as far as you can to find your diamond in the rough. Well, I don't see anyone clamoring for a "I Married Joan" remake movie, but you get my point.

One thing I most enjoyed about the phenomenal Kingdom Come was that it had the stones to show us Marvin as an aging, fat alcoholic jerk in a world gone mad with too many apathetic superheroes running in it . A movie with the Wonder Twins like that would almost interest me.
posted by WolfDaddy at 6:09 PM on June 6, 2002

I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict the Wonder Twins movie will suck a huge green monkey's dick.

Classy.
posted by rushmc at 6:16 PM on June 6, 2002

I think I could make a good recommendation of someone than could play Zan in the movie.
posted by stifford at 6:36 PM on June 6, 2002

I was smart enough never to *watch* the Wonder Twins... and therefore didn't realize that one of them had a penis.

Then how can you be sure? They were aliens as I recall...

Anyways, I kinda liked the Wonder Twins but even I think we're scraping the bottom here; What's next Mr. Belvedere: The Movie? .... starring Matt Damon natch...
posted by jonmc at 7:43 PM on June 6, 2002

I'm going to go out on a limb here and predict the Wonder Twins movie will suck a huge green monkey's dick.

No, I believe it will suck nuclear weasel penis.
posted by kindall at 8:14 PM on June 6, 2002

Nah, it sounds more like it'll blow mutated whale cock.
posted by destro at 8:45 PM on June 6, 2002

Rock bottom is somewhere around the time they make movies of My Three Sons and All In The Family
posted by ilsa at 8:49 PM on June 6, 2002

A Wonder Twins movie? Shameful! And made even more so, as it comes out while my treatment of Thundercats: The Movie languishes in rewrite.

Hollywood bastards.
posted by UncleFes at 8:55 PM on June 6, 2002

suck a huge green monkey's dick.
suck nuclear weasel penis.
blow mutated whale cock.
THE SPIRIT OF WESLEY WILLIS IS UPON US! PROCLAIM!
posted by darukaru at 8:57 PM on June 6, 2002

*sits back patiently waiting for Electra Woman and Dyna Girl to come to the big screen*
posted by gummi at 9:30 PM on June 6, 2002

So the girl could turn into an animal and the guy could turn into anything that was water-based, which really meant that he could be anything that he wanted. I faintly recall him forming into . . . a frozen bicycle, a frozen tractor, a frozen machine gun, a frozen jet, a frozen automobile, a frozen an Atari game machine, and so on.
posted by jacknose at 10:38 PM on June 6, 2002

Form of... a woman's bicycle seat.

Cool...
posted by Bixby23 at 12:42 AM on June 7, 2002

gummi: done and done. Sort of.
posted by davidmsc at 3:21 AM on June 7, 2002

Damn Stifford, where did you come up with that link? I hope you weren't selflinking there...hahahahaha
posted by a3matrix at 5:14 AM on June 7, 2002

Ok, I'm going to buck convention and go with -

If done right, it could actually be a good movie. I mean, the concept behind the wonder twin's powers is a neat idea.. it's just that it was wrapped in pre-anime goodie-goodie wholesome kid show drapery.

If it combines the freshness of the first Batman with the high-techness of Spiderman, Matrix and T-2 (think of what you could actually *do* with 'living' water), it could be good. As long as they don't have some stupid Jar-Jar like animal as comic relief.

I'm still waiting for a Silver Surfer movie, though.
posted by rich at 6:24 AM on June 7, 2002

I'm waiting for a Shazam/Isis movie.
posted by dnash at 7:07 AM on June 7, 2002

As long as Black Vulcan is attached, I'm good.

Black Vulcan kicked ass, yo.
posted by dong_resin at 7:37 AM on June 7, 2002

I think this means Hollywood is officially out of ideas.
posted by ratbastard at 7:54 AM on June 7, 2002

OMG, gummi! I never realized that Diedre Hall was secretly Electra Woman!

When I was a kid I was totally infatuated with...the ElectroComs. Someday we'll have the technology to fit a computer and a cordless telephone into a single package on our wrist no bigger than this!
posted by straight at 8:03 AM on June 7, 2002

I think it would suck a lot worse if no writer came aboard.

Now if only they could get Seanbaby to write the script!
posted by straight at 8:06 AM on June 7, 2002

Unless the bucket was also made of water

Ice bucket!
posted by jennyb at 8:15 AM on June 7, 2002

I'm still waiting for a Silver Surfer movie, though.

Amen, rich. the Surfer rules.
posted by jonmc at 8:20 AM on June 7, 2002

Ideas for re-makes:

Kafka's "Metamorphosis", but as a Jim Carrey stupid-guy comedy.

"Mandingo", with Denzel and Britney.

"Lord of the Flies", but played in suburbia by a snooty clique of teenage girls. Keanu stars as the fly.

"Othello", while being chased by an alien monster on a space ship. Starring Ben Affleck and J-Lo.

"Mame", starring Madonna and Britney.

"To Kill A Mockingbird", docu-drama of the O.J. trial.
posted by kablam at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2002

*sits back patiently waiting for Electra Woman and Dyna Girl to come to the big screen*

Naah; their boobs weren't *near* big enough.

Lynda Carter, on the other hand, is still the hottest woman in the room, 30 years later.

Any room.

Damn; I hope *I* look like that pushing 60.

Well, you know; except for the boobs and all...
posted by baylink at 8:56 PM on June 7, 2002

I'd suggest Mandingo with Owillis and Britney.

That's entertainment bank, right there. That's food on the table.

Plus, it crosses over with some of those "Web Logs" the kids all seem to like.
posted by dong_resin at 3:42 PM on June 8, 2002