Toronto racoons are at it again
September 19, 2018 9:25 PM   Subscribe

 
Are we going to find out that in six months some Canadian mad scientist has been breeding a super race of intelligent, ballsy raccoons?
posted by axiom at 9:44 PM on September 19, 2018 [1 favorite]


Step 2: Make your home “unlivable” by hanging ammonia-soaked rags, blasting the radio, and filling your house with bright lights.

I’m going to stop you right there.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:08 PM on September 19, 2018 [20 favorites]


"had broken through her window screen"

I once walked into and basically through a screen door that was closed across a sliding door because I didn't see it.

With those masks raccoons wear, I can understand them also not seeing the screen.
posted by hippybear at 10:14 PM on September 19, 2018 [7 favorites]


Isn’t this just normal raccoon behavior? Urban raccoons are aggressive, fearless and nasty. Adorable, but nasty.
posted by not_the_water at 10:45 PM on September 19, 2018


That headline! "Raccoons bust into Toronto woman’s home, stare her down while defiantly eating her bread"
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:53 PM on September 19, 2018 [4 favorites]


Are we going to find out that in six months some Canadian mad scientist has been breeding a super race of intelligent, ballsy raccoons?

Toronto built a better green bin and — oops — maybe a smarter raccoon
posted by rodlymight at 2:54 AM on September 20, 2018 [1 favorite]


Stolen from the radio: "There are 4 Rs in Toronto: Reduce, reuse, recycle and racoon."
posted by clawsoon at 4:44 AM on September 20, 2018 [3 favorites]


Step 2: Make your home “unlivable” by hanging ammonia-soaked rags, blasting the radio, and filling your house with bright lights.

“I’d like to get my house smelling like it’s been infested with a colony for feral cats for quite some time, but I want to accomplish this without using cats since I’m allergic. Suggestions?”
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:18 AM on September 20, 2018 [3 favorites]


I suspect that all of our largely unsuccessful squirrel exclusion devices are breeding more intelligent squirrels, or at least more acrobatic. If they unite with the raccoons...
posted by Botanizer at 5:41 AM on September 20, 2018


I think this really demonstrates the importance of representation in popular culture. Marvel gave the raccoon community Rocket and it really inspired them to be more than they were, more, even, than they ever thought they could be.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:01 AM on September 20, 2018 [5 favorites]


my name Raccoon
and wen its nite,
we eat in house,
give owner frite.
wen all my pals
haf gon and fled -
i stare at her
i lik the bred.
posted by Kabanos at 6:41 AM on September 20, 2018 [43 favorites]


a super race of intelligent, ballsy raccoons?

I've seen that and it's pretty cool actually.
posted by traveler_ at 7:11 AM on September 20, 2018 [1 favorite]




That headline! "Raccoons bust into Toronto woman’s home, stare her down while defiantly eating her bread"

That’s sort of the “dog bites man” of Toronto headlines.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:56 AM on September 20, 2018


Our house in Oakland had 3 show up in the kitchen when we left the back door open for a bit of air one summer evening. They were eating the dry cat food and drinking out of the cat’s water bowl, but it was the weird screeches they were making at each other that got our attention. When I turned the light on it didn’t bother them, neither did me shouting at them. I started throwing empty tupperware and they stopped ignoring me and shuffled out the door. I haven’t seen them since and it’s been years, but I’m sure they are hiding out somewhere nearby waiting for us to get a cat again and leave the door open.
posted by w0mbat at 8:53 AM on September 20, 2018 [2 favorites]


We have the best raccoons. When one of the British nature shows wanted to talk about the "American Raccoon" as a successful urban omnivore, they came to TORONTO (not in America) to film our raccoons.

We need to give in and accept that it's their city and, maybe if we're nice, they will let us live here.

(I have long accepted raccoons as not just my overlords, but my local deities.)
posted by jb at 2:13 PM on September 20, 2018


I can't believe it's been more than three years since Conrad the Raccoon passed away.
Never Forget!
posted by Kabanos at 2:40 PM on September 20, 2018


I told a friend of mine about this yesterday; he replied, “Yeah, that is my friend Jenny,” so he actually heard about this before it became news.

We then compared raccoon anecdotes, as southern Ontarians are wont to do. He mentioned that when he lived in Guelph, he neglected to close the glass window over the sink one night and left only the screen between the outdoors and the inside. Overnight one or more raccoons tore through and snuck around the house with some destruction of soft items. Mostly, he noted, they ate an entire bag of Oreos.

He reported the screen damage to the landlord, who posed the unusual question, “What do you think they wanted?” Well, Oreos obvs.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:33 AM on September 23, 2018


I just got back from camping at a site our scout group has been using for decades. Much to our dismay we learned the local raccoons have learned to open zippers. It was raccoon mayhem all weekend long. I was awake when one of them tried to open mine but I shooed it off. People kept waking up with raccoons in their tents, walking on top of them. The only way to keep them out was I if your tent had a zipper that could be closed such that the pills were out of thei reach
posted by fimbulvetr at 2:15 PM on September 23, 2018 [3 favorites]


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