"Embodies a sort of can-do attitude that feels commendably not-straight"
October 15, 2018 5:47 PM Subscribe
As Halloween approaches, a young woman’s fancy turns towards thoughts of spooky things, and also spooky women. Like witches! We can agree that all vampires are bisexual, but are all witches as gay as Willow and Tara led us to hope? We present one theoretical exploration of fictional witches ranked by lesbianism for you to enjoy disagreeing with both in substance and in terms of who was and was not included.
TIL that Hilda and Zelda were not a couple. I'd always thought the Sabrina 'aunts' were like Sailor Moon 'cousins'.
posted by betweenthebars at 6:08 PM on October 15, 2018 [13 favorites]
posted by betweenthebars at 6:08 PM on October 15, 2018 [13 favorites]
List is missing Anya Taylor-Joy from The Witch. Will defer real judgment to people who are actually lesbian, legitimately magical witches, or both, but for now will suggest somewhere 5-15 as flying around naked with naked women seems pretty gay?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:17 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 6:17 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
Dark Willow is everything Willow is — a lesbian witch — and also evil and slutty, which is incredibly hot and also makes her gayer.
Wait, what?? Dark Willow was not slutty! Dark Willow was vengeance personified. She had no time for sex. Doppelgangland Willow was slutty! (I mean, if you consider licking strangers slutty. I really don’t but ymmv.)
Did the author confuse the two? Sheesh. Get your Willows ... er... straight.
posted by greermahoney at 6:25 PM on October 15, 2018 [31 favorites]
Wait, what?? Dark Willow was not slutty! Dark Willow was vengeance personified. She had no time for sex. Doppelgangland Willow was slutty! (I mean, if you consider licking strangers slutty. I really don’t but ymmv.)
Did the author confuse the two? Sheesh. Get your Willows ... er... straight.
posted by greermahoney at 6:25 PM on October 15, 2018 [31 favorites]
Willow is ... a lesbian witch
Willow is not a lesbian, she is bisexual. There was never any indication that her relationship with Oz was less than a legitimate sexual attraction, and the fact that everyone's all "oh, Willow's a lesbian now" after she gets together with Tara is a testament to the biphobia present in both gay and straight communities. In this essay I will
posted by Basil Stag Hare at 6:35 PM on October 15, 2018 [94 favorites]
Willow is not a lesbian, she is bisexual. There was never any indication that her relationship with Oz was less than a legitimate sexual attraction, and the fact that everyone's all "oh, Willow's a lesbian now" after she gets together with Tara is a testament to the biphobia present in both gay and straight communities. In this essay I will
posted by Basil Stag Hare at 6:35 PM on October 15, 2018 [94 favorites]
Needs to take into account "warlocks" or "male witches", the first of whom I saw on Bewitched and all of whom had a distinctly gay aura about them, especially Uncle Arthur, portrayed by Paul Lynde, one of the most closeted-gay performers of the '60s.
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:39 PM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 6:39 PM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
Willow is not a lesbian, she is bisexual.
I would normally be with you, 100%, because I’m bi and sensitive to bi-erasure in media. But Willow self-identified as gay many times in the series.
Now, do I think that’s because the writers were perpetuating bi-erasure? Absolutely! But I feel more strongly that people need to be allowed to self-identify and we need to take them at their word. I don’t want to get into the place where I think I know better than somebody else what they are. Even fictional somebodies.
posted by greermahoney at 6:43 PM on October 15, 2018 [17 favorites]
I would normally be with you, 100%, because I’m bi and sensitive to bi-erasure in media. But Willow self-identified as gay many times in the series.
Now, do I think that’s because the writers were perpetuating bi-erasure? Absolutely! But I feel more strongly that people need to be allowed to self-identify and we need to take them at their word. I don’t want to get into the place where I think I know better than somebody else what they are. Even fictional somebodies.
posted by greermahoney at 6:43 PM on October 15, 2018 [17 favorites]
Willow even knows she's gay when she's all Tabula Rasa amnesia-ed. And while I agree that it's Doppelgangland Willow that they really mean, I love that there is a separate veiny Wil entry.
posted by wellred at 6:50 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by wellred at 6:50 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
I think we can all agree that there are infinite Willows, and somehow, each is more awesome than the last.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:55 PM on October 15, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:55 PM on October 15, 2018 [11 favorites]
Needs to take into account "warlocks" or "male witches", the first of whom I saw on Bewitched and all of whom had a distinctly gay aura about them, especially Uncle Arthur, portrayed by Paul Lynde, one of the most closeted-gay performers of the '60s.
I’ll chime in to add Charles Nelson Reilly as the evil wizard Hoodoo in Lidsville.
Both Lynde and Reilly had that same sort of comic camp thing going in the 60s and early 70s, which as a young kid I found captivating. I only realized as I got older that they’d been essentially playing with that flamboyantly sassy behavior and double entendres that nowadays definitely reads as gay.
posted by darkstar at 7:00 PM on October 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
I’ll chime in to add Charles Nelson Reilly as the evil wizard Hoodoo in Lidsville.
Both Lynde and Reilly had that same sort of comic camp thing going in the 60s and early 70s, which as a young kid I found captivating. I only realized as I got older that they’d been essentially playing with that flamboyantly sassy behavior and double entendres that nowadays definitely reads as gay.
posted by darkstar at 7:00 PM on October 15, 2018 [5 favorites]
But anyway, I, too, always saw Sabrina’s “aunts” as a couple.
posted by darkstar at 7:03 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by darkstar at 7:03 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
I was so disappointed playing Dragon Age: Origins when otherwise sexually forward Witch of the Wilds Morrigan wasn’t a romance option for my female Grey Warden. Being straight in a BioWare game is like, five times straighter than being straight in real life.
posted by ejs at 7:03 PM on October 15, 2018 [19 favorites]
posted by ejs at 7:03 PM on October 15, 2018 [19 favorites]
Like a straight woman is going to live in the woods alone for fifty years, with that haircut, being shunned by the local townsfolk while simultaneously relied upon by them, provide abortions, learn to identify medicinal herbs and plants while hunting for her own food and drinking tea while dramatically casting ominous portents and eventually being locked in battle with her evil high femme nemesis? Ok.
Hmm. I feel like this is very pre-2016 thinking though.
posted by schadenfrau at 7:09 PM on October 15, 2018 [31 favorites]
Hmm. I feel like this is very pre-2016 thinking though.
posted by schadenfrau at 7:09 PM on October 15, 2018 [31 favorites]
Sabrina’s aunts are sisters, aren’t they? I never got a couple vibe from them, AT ALL.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 7:18 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by jeweled accumulation at 7:18 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yes, they are canonically sisters. But (and it was purely wishful protection on my part), I preferred to think of them as partners.
posted by darkstar at 7:19 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by darkstar at 7:19 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
Upsettingly, honestly offensively not gay! Had several opportunities to be gay with Mina and squandered them. Managed to find a way to fuck her best friend’s man without any gay subtextual undertones, which should be and I think maybe actually is illegal.
This is very true. Every dude on Penny Dreadful was queer to some degree, but they couldn't give us anything with Eva Green?
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:29 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
This is very true. Every dude on Penny Dreadful was queer to some degree, but they couldn't give us anything with Eva Green?
posted by grandiloquiet at 7:29 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
0: Everyone in Madoka Magica
-1: Bernkastel and Lambdadelta in Umineko
posted by J.K. Seazer at 7:34 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
-1: Bernkastel and Lambdadelta in Umineko
posted by J.K. Seazer at 7:34 PM on October 15, 2018 [3 favorites]
I want to complain that they included Sophie (who I love and would not remove!) and yet some how missed Kiki?? But I feel like that would be fulfilling the prophecy set out in the last sentence of the post and am stymied.
posted by brook horse at 7:40 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
posted by brook horse at 7:40 PM on October 15, 2018 [2 favorites]
Paul Lynde, one of the most closeted-gay performers of the '60s.
Wat.
His schtick was his barely-in-the-closetedness.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:07 PM on October 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
Wat.
His schtick was his barely-in-the-closetedness.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:07 PM on October 15, 2018 [6 favorites]
Not to extend this tangent too much further but Paul Lynde's IMDb page is a testament to how obvious he was about his gayness while still paying lip service to the closet.
Explained his lifelong bachelorhood to fans (in the days before "coming out") by telling them his high-school sweetheart had broken his heart, and he was still too hurt to give other women a chance.
"I had a drag scene in Doris Day's The Glass Bottom Boat (1966). An elegant gown. Actually, it was more expensive than any of the ones Doris had to wear. That day that I came in fully dressed and coiffed, I was the belle of the set! Everybody went wild! Doris came over and looked me up and down and told me, 'Oh, I'd never wear anything that feminine.'"
"I don't meet enough women outside show business, and I wouldn't marry anyone in this field." [in 1969]
"I always wanted to be Anna May Wong. She seemed so much more exotic and exciting than plain ordinary folk. But no-go. I wasn't fated to be Wong, just white."
posted by ejs at 8:21 PM on October 15, 2018 [7 favorites]
Explained his lifelong bachelorhood to fans (in the days before "coming out") by telling them his high-school sweetheart had broken his heart, and he was still too hurt to give other women a chance.
"I had a drag scene in Doris Day's The Glass Bottom Boat (1966). An elegant gown. Actually, it was more expensive than any of the ones Doris had to wear. That day that I came in fully dressed and coiffed, I was the belle of the set! Everybody went wild! Doris came over and looked me up and down and told me, 'Oh, I'd never wear anything that feminine.'"
"I don't meet enough women outside show business, and I wouldn't marry anyone in this field." [in 1969]
"I always wanted to be Anna May Wong. She seemed so much more exotic and exciting than plain ordinary folk. But no-go. I wasn't fated to be Wong, just white."
posted by ejs at 8:21 PM on October 15, 2018 [7 favorites]
42. Hermione, Harry Potter
Bi but most definitely het up about it.
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:29 PM on October 15, 2018 [17 favorites]
Bi but most definitely het up about it.
posted by Hermione Granger at 8:29 PM on October 15, 2018 [17 favorites]
His schtick was his barely-in-the-closetedness.
I suppose this shows two ways to interpret "most closeted." Is it the deepest in the closet, or is it the closet most filled to the point of almost bursting?
posted by RobotHero at 8:58 PM on October 15, 2018 [7 favorites]
I suppose this shows two ways to interpret "most closeted." Is it the deepest in the closet, or is it the closet most filled to the point of almost bursting?
posted by RobotHero at 8:58 PM on October 15, 2018 [7 favorites]
This article was fun, but contained a few glaring omissions.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:48 PM on October 15, 2018 [11 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:48 PM on October 15, 2018 [11 favorites]
That was very funny.
posted by zardoz at 10:08 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by zardoz at 10:08 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
Very well written, but left out my favorite witch.
posted by M-x shell at 10:38 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by M-x shell at 10:38 PM on October 15, 2018 [1 favorite]
I’d like to include Isabella Rosselini’s excellent potion-vending witch (Vampire? Sorceress? Succubus? Incarnation of the Devil?) in Death Becones Her. Sure, she surrounded herself with handsome male minions, but I think she’s worth review, vis-a-vis this article.
This sort of subtext interpretation is a lot more entertaining than the dreck of something like Rowling deciding Dumbledore was gay only as an afterthought, with no overt mention or even subtext hinted at in the canonical books at all. I mean, fine, you didn’t have the courage or interest in including LGBT diversity in your epic tale of magically heroic resistance against oppression and stifling social convention. But don’t try to retcon the omission with a throwaway tweet, then act all condescending when people call out that bullshit. But I’m not bitter or anything.
I will say this FPP had me unexpectedly searching for any gay subtext of one of my favorite childhood stories, The Blue Nosed Witch. I am betting that a few members of Blanche’s coven, Scurry No. 13, were lesbians. I mean really, preferring to ride a vacuum cleaner instead of a broom? Surely!
posted by darkstar at 10:38 PM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
This sort of subtext interpretation is a lot more entertaining than the dreck of something like Rowling deciding Dumbledore was gay only as an afterthought, with no overt mention or even subtext hinted at in the canonical books at all. I mean, fine, you didn’t have the courage or interest in including LGBT diversity in your epic tale of magically heroic resistance against oppression and stifling social convention. But don’t try to retcon the omission with a throwaway tweet, then act all condescending when people call out that bullshit. But I’m not bitter or anything.
I will say this FPP had me unexpectedly searching for any gay subtext of one of my favorite childhood stories, The Blue Nosed Witch. I am betting that a few members of Blanche’s coven, Scurry No. 13, were lesbians. I mean really, preferring to ride a vacuum cleaner instead of a broom? Surely!
posted by darkstar at 10:38 PM on October 15, 2018 [8 favorites]
9. The Three Witches, MacbethBest things I've read this week so far.
They just want to hang out in the woods and also ruin a man’s life in the most dramatic fashion possible.
5. Ursula
Aside from her character design being literally based on Divine, the idea of Ursula as a straight person strains credulity. She lives in a cave with eels! She doesn’t give a fuck!
(I've played a MacWitch twice, and it may be the most fun I've had on a Shakespearean stage.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:36 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Needs to take into account "warlocks" or "male witches"
You've just reminded me of one of the few bits of Benny Hill I remember decades later:
"And men witches! There were men witches there!"
"Warlocks."
"No, it's true, I tell you!"
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:16 AM on October 16, 2018 [8 favorites]
You've just reminded me of one of the few bits of Benny Hill I remember decades later:
"And men witches! There were men witches there!"
"Warlocks."
"No, it's true, I tell you!"
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:16 AM on October 16, 2018 [8 favorites]
What, no love for Charm School and Bunny the Good Teen Witch?
(okay, it's a bit niche, but who doesn't love a cheerful teenage witch who dates a drag-racing butch-af vampire?)
posted by Katemonkey at 2:50 AM on October 16, 2018
(okay, it's a bit niche, but who doesn't love a cheerful teenage witch who dates a drag-racing butch-af vampire?)
posted by Katemonkey at 2:50 AM on October 16, 2018
Now, I did think there was some kind of sexual tension between Merlin and The Magnificent, Marvellous, Mad Madam Mim. But Witch Hazel was all about being a great, fun auntie to the Duck triplets
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:34 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:34 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
If we're going to weep about not gay witches in Dragon Age, I will share your misty moue over Morrigan but, I'm sorry [ shuddering, choking gasp ] Aveline and [ full on ugly cry ] Cassandra. Fair enough, true, true, they're not witches. Except of my heart.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:57 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:57 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
I am not affiliated with Autostraddle, just a big gay fan of theirs who wants to see indie queer media continue to exist, but from what the editors have mentioned, the site is struggling financially because it's hard for websites aimed at queer women to get any advertising money, and they rely on reader donations, so I'd encourage folks to donate or subscribe if you like their work.
posted by ITheCosmos at 5:05 AM on October 16, 2018 [9 favorites]
posted by ITheCosmos at 5:05 AM on October 16, 2018 [9 favorites]
(Fortunately Dragon Age 2 included Merrill for all your bisexual witch romancing needs.)
posted by ejs at 6:05 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by ejs at 6:05 AM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
I’m just about to head to bed so I don’t have time to read this yet but boy do I hope that Bayonetta and Mirror Universe Kira are on here somehow
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:26 AM on October 16, 2018
posted by DoctorFedora at 6:26 AM on October 16, 2018
Needs more Pratchett witches.
Willow is ranked as the lesbian she declared herself to be and not the panro-ace she was mostly written as.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:33 AM on October 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
Willow is ranked as the lesbian she declared herself to be and not the panro-ace she was mostly written as.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 6:33 AM on October 16, 2018 [5 favorites]
Pratchett took (rather too many) pains to write his witches as hetero; in general, I can't recall him having much in the way of characters that could be read as not-straight in the Discworld books, but I haven't read them all.
(I loved the guy, but his women characters, though interesting, definitely came off As Written by a Straight Dude. He always seemed to be fighting not to drop into cliche, and sometimes he lost the fight.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:23 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
(I loved the guy, but his women characters, though interesting, definitely came off As Written by a Straight Dude. He always seemed to be fighting not to drop into cliche, and sometimes he lost the fight.)
posted by emjaybee at 7:23 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Points off for reminding me that Alice exists because now my day is that much worse.
What adaptation is that Morgan Le Fey from? I'm here for her all-black ensemble & matching steed.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:00 AM on October 16, 2018
What adaptation is that Morgan Le Fey from? I'm here for her all-black ensemble & matching steed.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:00 AM on October 16, 2018
in general, I can't recall him having much in the way of characters that could be read as not-straight in the Discworld book
My initial counter is everyone in Monstrous Regiment without exception, but there's not a one of them who are particularly witchy. Secondary counter is "how do you know what counts as a straight dwarf?", but again: not witches.
Also, I've never actually read Granny Weatherwax as particularly interested in men--the best you get is a vague "what might have been?" thing with Ridcully, and my impression was that the glimpse of what might have been as universes tangled was quite enough for her, thank you. I wouldn't put her on a list of lesbians either, but I've always viewed her as rather ace spectrum.
Not that I ever figured Pratchett for doing that sort of thing on purpose, bless him, but I've always been an author-is-dead sort when it comes to interpretation in my fiction.
posted by sciatrix at 8:09 AM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
My initial counter is everyone in Monstrous Regiment without exception, but there's not a one of them who are particularly witchy. Secondary counter is "how do you know what counts as a straight dwarf?", but again: not witches.
Also, I've never actually read Granny Weatherwax as particularly interested in men--the best you get is a vague "what might have been?" thing with Ridcully, and my impression was that the glimpse of what might have been as universes tangled was quite enough for her, thank you. I wouldn't put her on a list of lesbians either, but I've always viewed her as rather ace spectrum.
Not that I ever figured Pratchett for doing that sort of thing on purpose, bless him, but I've always been an author-is-dead sort when it comes to interpretation in my fiction.
posted by sciatrix at 8:09 AM on October 16, 2018 [6 favorites]
she invited an argument, so: Hermione's not straight because the only woman who would date a Ron is one A. trying to convince herself of something but subconciously convinced it won't take, and sub-subconsiously not even really wanting it to take, and B. unable to discern anything viscerally attractive in any man and therefore unable to tell which of them are more attractive than others. this is a tale as old as time
plus, Buffy had real romantic tension with Tara, more than with Faith. less sexual tension, but still a little bit. yes, really. Tara's what she dreamed a Riley or an Angel might be but they never, ever, ever were. she never would, because not only does she love Willow, she wishes she were in love with Willow, but can't be. it's a tragedy.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:18 AM on October 16, 2018 [11 favorites]
plus, Buffy had real romantic tension with Tara, more than with Faith. less sexual tension, but still a little bit. yes, really. Tara's what she dreamed a Riley or an Angel might be but they never, ever, ever were. she never would, because not only does she love Willow, she wishes she were in love with Willow, but can't be. it's a tragedy.
posted by queenofbithynia at 8:18 AM on October 16, 2018 [11 favorites]
19. Glinda the Good Witch of the South, Wizard of Oz: High femme who gets really into Folsom every year, her girlfriend is a blacksmith.This is everything I need from this list, right here!
12. Lily Rabe, AHS Coven: Lily Rabe’s obsession with Stevie Nicks, as indicated by “dressing like Stevie, talking like Stevie and only listening to Stevie/Fleetwood Mac” has been determined by Carmen to be “very homosexual behavior.”
Other Witches, possibly
• Wendy the Good Little Witch: Despite being raised by her two "aunties," Wendy could not possibly be any straighter.
• The Mad Mod Witch (AKA The Fashion Thing): Super into fads, sports an eyepatch, catty AF — inconclusive but definitely a non-hetero vibe going on there.
• Witch Hazel: In a long-term on-again-off-again relationship with a crossdressing wabbitt, so straight but not narrow is what we're going with.
• Gillian Holroyd: probably bi and will probably regret trading witchery for Jimmy Stewart.
• Lolly Willowes: definitely gay for Satan.
• Sycorax: It's hard to tell if the utter contempt everyone else has for this witch of color is the result of racism, misogyny, homophobia, or all three, but signs point to not-straight.
• Erichtho: powerful necromancer, gouges out eyeballs, is a metaphor for inversion—the Dark Willow of the Roman age.
• Witchiepoo: fluto-sexual.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:38 AM on October 16, 2018 [4 favorites]
Completely here with brook horse about catching Sophie but completely missing Kiki. Admittedly at 12 it's not clear Kiki knows what her sexuality is, but she's got pretty good role models for both ends of the main binary.
posted by Quasirandom at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2018
posted by Quasirandom at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2018
Missing Marina from The Magicians, who is not only fully gay, but also fucking furious about the way she died on the TV series.
Are you KIDDING me. Myrtle Snow is a lesbian and her hair, separately, also identifies as a lesbian.
Cackled out loud at this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:40 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
Are you KIDDING me. Myrtle Snow is a lesbian and her hair, separately, also identifies as a lesbian.
Cackled out loud at this.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:40 AM on October 16, 2018 [3 favorites]
Yeah, Vampire Willow is bi, poly, and into not-quite-so-consensual BD.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:42 PM on October 16, 2018
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:42 PM on October 16, 2018
• Witchiepoo: fluto-sexual.
As with many keen insights, this seems obvious, once you say it.
posted by darkstar at 3:48 PM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
As with many keen insights, this seems obvious, once you say it.
posted by darkstar at 3:48 PM on October 16, 2018 [1 favorite]
27 X-Files Monsters of the Week, Ranked by Gayness
posted by tobascodagama at 11:04 AM on October 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by tobascodagama at 11:04 AM on October 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
Hermione's not straight because the only woman who would date a Ron
And Krum, and Cormac MacLaggen, and her crush on Lockhart. Out of the trio, she is the most painfully heterosexual one. Though I have seen good arguments about her maybe being asexual. But Harry, had a few mancrushes including Ron and Ron seemed more into Viktor Krum than she did tbh.
Worse, having her and the She-Wolf of the Wizarding World on there knocked off the far more sapphic Ginny and Tonks. Ginny was clearly the soft butch tomboy dealing with her own burgeoning sexuality brought on by Fleur's constant presence at the Burrow by using Harry as a proxy. She even grows up to play on an all-witch Quidditch team for Merlin's sake! And Tonks? Bi icon and I won't hear otherwise.
posted by asteria at 3:33 PM on October 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
And Krum, and Cormac MacLaggen, and her crush on Lockhart. Out of the trio, she is the most painfully heterosexual one. Though I have seen good arguments about her maybe being asexual. But Harry, had a few mancrushes including Ron and Ron seemed more into Viktor Krum than she did tbh.
Worse, having her and the She-Wolf of the Wizarding World on there knocked off the far more sapphic Ginny and Tonks. Ginny was clearly the soft butch tomboy dealing with her own burgeoning sexuality brought on by Fleur's constant presence at the Burrow by using Harry as a proxy. She even grows up to play on an all-witch Quidditch team for Merlin's sake! And Tonks? Bi icon and I won't hear otherwise.
posted by asteria at 3:33 PM on October 17, 2018 [1 favorite]
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Clearly the author never saw the theater adaption "Wicked", or read the book. Elphaba Thropp? Lesbian.
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 6:01 PM on October 15, 2018 [7 favorites]