Unsurprisingly, the paper's circulation has declined by nearly a twelfth

November 15, 2018 7:00 PM

Why Straight Men Hate Astrology So Much: "Aren't you a Taurus?" I ask, knowing full well that he is. He replies: "Are you going to tell me this is a very Taurus way of behaving?" I tell him that Taureans are often pegged as the sign least likely to believe in astrology.

(This article is worth a read, if only to get a close-up view of the mental gymnastics required to give all the points of a view a fair outing, without resorting to labeling something sexist or fictional.)

posted by krisjohn (26 comments total)

What? Astrology is back?

I must be running in the wrong circles because I haven't heard anyone talk about it since 30 years ago when those little astrology scrolls were sold for a quarter in restaurant tabletop vending machines.

(That's such a Gemini thing to say)
posted by mmoncur at 7:12 PM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

I was extremely into astrology as a young teen. I learned to cast horoscopes from a book and read lots of Linda Goodman. I don't know how I kept it in the same head as my love for Carl Sagan, but I did. It helped me to ascribe my uncontrollable thoughts about guys to Venus in Scorpio, rather than a normal sexuality that couldn't be expressed or discussed, or my hot temper to a Moon in Aries, rather than to being surrounded by the kind of people who believed I was a witch because I knew these things. I am sure it has helped other girls and young women in similar situations.

I appreciate it and I feel nostalgia when I read up on horoscope details, but in a world where fake news is beating the truth to death, I'm less inclined to chalk up that disdain to pure misogyny. Also, it's hard to be playful about astrology when you're a Capricorn (by name and nature). The Capricorn is the designated driver of the zodiac. I'm reserved, withdrawn, bitter and skeptical, where's my iridescent pendant?
posted by Countess Elena at 7:25 PM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

I don't think astrology ever went away. I've always had friends of the "spiritual" bent, such as professional astrologers, tarot readers, witches (really), dianetics, etc. So I've had my chart done (more than once), had my cards read, worked with e-meters, etc. But I always figured it had more to do with ego than anything else, as I enjoyed being the center of attention and didn't believe a word of it. But I'm very polite, you know, for a Leo with five planets in Leo in the 7th house and with a Grand Trine. Sorry.
posted by MovableBookLady at 7:26 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

[addendum to the above: to be clear, I do not believe in astrology; I am just amused by the ways in which my chart happens to line up with my personality]
posted by Countess Elena at 7:27 PM on November 15, 2018

Ha ha, my very first post, an attempt to politely answer an askmi on the topic was roundly chastised as I was not answering the question correctly.

So just just to be clear, it's all true, every newspaper blurb is a fine insight into your life. Especially when the moon is in the second house!
posted by sammyo at 7:35 PM on November 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

It's true for me: I'm atheist but I like learning about religions and I think mediums and fortune tellers and Ouija boards and tarot cards are a hoot. But Astrology has always irked me. I think it's two things:
1) The pigeon-holed personality thing the writer talks about.
2) It's like the pumpkin spice of spirituality. If you're already predisposed against superstitions and mysticism, it seems so effing basic. Shallow and mainstream.
posted by es_de_bah at 7:35 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Astrologer Randon Rosenbohm agrees, telling me "it's for girls and gays".
"Astrology is a natural, intuitive way of telling time, and women are more in tune with nature," Randon continues. "Men, however, are builders who work with the material world. Unless you give a straight man evidence of astrology being real, they're less likely to find it remotely interesting."

Yes. This is why I hate astrology. Don't try to pin me as anti-femme because I won't buy into this horseshit.
posted by Evstar at 7:37 PM on November 15, 2018 [9 favorites]

Men are from Capricorn, women are from Sagittarius.
posted by parki at 7:39 PM on November 15, 2018

But... does the chart line up with your personality? Or is it the other way around?

For me, I was told from an early age that I was a Leo. I was told that I was expected to be a certain way. Not just by my parents mind you, but by all of society. Friends in school, especially when, being a weirdo myself, I started to become friends with the weirdos. Since I was at least 8 years old I've known exactly what a Leo's traits are, and that I was a Leo, and WOW I HAVE THOSE TRAITS. Who'd have ever guessed that?!?!!

Long story short, I am entirely my astrological sign, and I fucking hate astrology and all of it's preconceived judgement about who someone is supposed to become.
posted by juice boo at 7:43 PM on November 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

I am just amused by the ways in which my chart happens to line up with my personality

That’s just because astrology charts are bingo cards of human experiences.
posted by rh at 7:43 PM on November 15, 2018 [12 favorites]

This is pseudoscience. Worse, It's pseudoscience that is used as an excuse to bully people (ugg I could never be friend with a SCORPIO!!!) It's not anti-woman to reject pseudoscience- what IS anti-woman is that this is peddled to women instead of other more scientific things, and when embraced by people becomes a way for them to reject true things. Astrology in it of itself is sexist. Not believing in it is not.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 7:47 PM on November 15, 2018 [8 favorites]

One interesting facet of astrology is the way that it basically offers an alternative, non-binary gender system. (Yes, I know that there are traditional gender associations with the signs but hardly anyone seems to pay attention to those anymore.) Like, here are these twelve types of humans that have aesthetics and personalities and images connected with them. I wonder if this is one reason for the growing popularity of astrology among women and queer folks? The way that it's a popularly understood language for talking about the essence of the self that is outside of binary gender...
posted by overglow at 7:49 PM on November 15, 2018

What? Astrology is back?

I must be running in the wrong circles because I haven't heard anyone talk about it since 30 years ago when those little astrology scrolls were sold for a quarter in restaurant tabletop vending machines.

(That's such a Gemini thing to say)
posted by mmoncur at 7:12 PM on November 15

Over the past year or so, I've started seeing more zodiac-related items for sale. This includes everything from jewellery (pendants and charms) to household decorations (plaques and pillows and decorative objects for sale in home furnishing and decorating stores) and more personal-use items like mugs.

It was actually a bit of a shock to start noticing this stuff hit the mainstream again because it seemed to have come out of nowhere and I can't say I've seen the pop culture reason for its revival.
posted by sardonyx at 7:50 PM on November 15, 2018

I am just amused by the ways in which my chart happens to line up with my personality

That's the Barnum effect for you. (Or what rh said.)
posted by bigendian at 7:50 PM on November 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

Ehhh. I'm a lesbian and I totally identify with the straight men in this article about what it feels like to try and navigate a dating pool that's really into astrology. So many people who enjoy it won't take "not really my thing, thanks though" as an answer.
posted by Emily's Fist at 7:52 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

Eh, this sort of thing is all a bunch of cock and bull to me.

Or rooster and taurus, whatever.

Why yes, I do make that exact same joke at every opportunity.
posted by ckape at 7:53 PM on November 15, 2018

I was recently reading Confessions, the 4th-century autobiography of Augustine of Hippo, and was extremely surprised, in the middle of it, to find an extended debunking of astrology that was essentially the same arguments your capital-S Skeptic types might try today. (Thought experiments about twins separated at birth, and so on.)

This makes me think belief in astrology must be pretty robust for whatever reason.

I can see the fun in astrology, for sure (would probably go for one of those complicated astrological readings if offered one for free). I can also definitely see the appeal of using it to make decisions or make sense of your life when you're under stress and uncertainty.

At the same time, for reasons I can't quite articulate, when people seem to take it really seriously it sets my teeth on edge. In a way that, say, crystal healing or magical windchimes or wacky UFO religions do not.
posted by vogon_poet at 7:53 PM on November 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

As a smug Virgo, I’m smugly judging you all.

Also, astrology is bullshit and Metafilter is the worse for its presence here wrapped up in this Vice troll bait.
posted by Barack Spinoza at 7:55 PM on November 15, 2018 [4 favorites]

I haven't seen a rise in astrology interests, but then, I don't hang out on Facebook, and my local community is so steeped in woo paraphernalia that I'm not sure "20% more astrology" would show up as anything more then "eh, new season; new wave of symbol-engraved jewelry making the rounds." I did like this quote from the article:

Women and queer people are drawn to astrology because it offers community and refuge, something to lean on during a time in which religion has taken a backseat. In a heterosexual patriarchy, cis-het men arguably have less to seek refuge from. It is during times of significant stress that people turn to astrology, after all. In a 1982 study, the psychologist Graham Tyson found that people who consult astrologers did so in response to stressors, writing, "Under conditions of high stress, the individual is prepared to use astrology as a coping device, even though under low-stress conditions he does not believe in it."

Astrology as a spiritual discipline is rare; astrology as a desperate attempt to make the world make sense sounds spot on.

Also I am in favor of absolutely any hobby or interest that usually annoys straight cis men and doesn't cause distress to other people. I will remember this one; I haven't played with astrology in quite a while, but I am entirely willing to haul out my Koch houses book and my ephemerides and protractor and start drawing charts again.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:02 PM on November 15, 2018 [2 favorites]

Unless you give a straight man evidence of astrology being real, they're less likely to find it remotely interesting

I'm pretty sure that it's not only straight men who find claims without evidence uninteresting, but thanks for the oh-so-subtle accusation of misogyny and homophobia in service of your twaddle.
posted by tclark at 8:03 PM on November 15, 2018 [5 favorites]

It's just completely bizarre and foreign to me, a cis woman, that anyone could have any sincere belief in that stuff. Sure, it's fun as a sort of "oh me I'm in Ravenclaw" getting-to-know-you exercise or a "oh ho what did you get, I got 'you will eat a special cake'" divination giggle but anything past that feels like you just mentioned you went to your doctor to have your humours checked and balanced.

I guess I have a "don't @ me with that astrology shit" vibe or run in the wrong circles cause I've almost never had any other woman bring it up to me. Even in jest.

That said, if it's this annoying to straight cis men perhaps I ought to take it up.
posted by potrzebie at 8:04 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

In high school we liked to read the horoscopes at lunch (in an actual newspaper, I don't know who was bringing a paper to school every day) and guess how many star day we were going to have. I don't remember there ever being a 1 star day. Your worst day would be 2 stars. If we felt our day deserved a different number of stars, we chose a different sign for that day. Now that I think about it our table was indeed gals and gays. I guess everyone else was off solving logic problems or something.
posted by Emmy Rae at 8:06 PM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

Also if people find astrology fun, more power to them! But people who push narratives like this piss me off:

"Astrology is a natural, intuitive way of telling time, and women are more in tune with nature," Randon continues. "Men, however, are builders who work with the material world. Unless you give a straight man evidence of astrology being real, they're less likely to find it remotely interesting."

After two paragraphs of gender essentialist nonsense, the author does mention that it's "highly disputed" and notes that "not all men are builders." Weak. This stuff is pure bullshit of the sort that has been used to keep marginalized people down forever. Casting it as some kind of feminist, queer-positive narrative is nonsense.
posted by Emily's Fist at 8:07 PM on November 15, 2018 [6 favorites]

That said, if it's this annoying to straight cis men perhaps I ought to take it up.

It's annoying to far more than them. Not to mention the fact that in steeping your mind with this you become less of a threat to them. A woman who wants a traditional life or to treat her fellow women worse because her horiscope says she should (ew I wouldn't go to a protest with her, shes a SCORPIO!) is much less of a threat to the patriarchy than one who rejects pseudoscience.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 8:07 PM on November 15, 2018 [1 favorite]

If you’re looking for reasons to swat at the white cis male piñata, why the fuck bring astrological horseshit into it? Goddess knows there are plenty of other reasons to do so.
posted by Barack Spinoza at 8:10 PM on November 15, 2018 [3 favorites]

The positive side of "the Barnum effect" is that things like astrology or tarot (or the I Ching or dream analysis, or palindromes, or thrift shopping) can be an effective Rorsach test, i.e. a way to access your subconscious by letting it impose or suggest patterns up essentially random material.

It doesn't have to be true or real to work. In fact, the more content free (but suggestive) it is, the better.
posted by msalt at 8:10 PM on November 15, 2018 [2 favorites]