June 14, 2002

9:30 AM

The eight worst TV dads, according to EW.Just in time for Father's Day. Tony Soprano is #1, Ozzy #2. Aw, Ozzy is a bit mad, but at least he wants to do right by his kids. I make no excuse for Tony Soprano. He'll buy Meadow whatever she wants, but then again, he offed her boyfriend. Any bad (or good) TV dads to discuss?
posted by GaelFC (27 comments total)

offed her boyfriend? SPOILER! goddammit, I was waiting for the episodes to come out on video!!!
posted by Ty Webb at 9:34 AM on June 14, 2002

Bah, why can't they just provide a simple list...I'm not clicking through all those pages....
posted by rushmc at 9:38 AM on June 14, 2002

Really sorry, Ty Webb, the show hasn't been on in so long that I didn't even think of that as a spoiler. Wish I could edit it.

The links on the right margin are links to other articles about the shows mentioned, so in that sense you can figure out the dads without clicking through.
posted by GaelFC at 9:47 AM on June 14, 2002

Further evidence that I'm hopelessly out of touch....when you mentioned "Ozzy" was #2, I presumed you meant Ozzy Nelson.
posted by Oriole Adams at 9:48 AM on June 14, 2002

who's Ozzy Nelson?
posted by tolkhan at 9:51 AM on June 14, 2002

Tony didn't have Jackie Jr killed, Ralphie did. I am unapologetic for spoiling that because it happened over a year ago. You cannot complain, Ty Webb, it's unreasonable.
posted by palegirl at 9:53 AM on June 14, 2002

Ummm...what about Al Bundy? Or are these just TV fathers on the boob-tube now?
posted by aacheson at 9:54 AM on June 14, 2002

I guess it's just those on current shows, which is pretty lame because I haven't watched half these shows, and yes, Al Bundy has to have a hall of fame position on any list like this.
posted by GaelFC at 9:57 AM on June 14, 2002

OMG they left Hank Hill's dad off the list.
posted by oh posey at 9:58 AM on June 14, 2002

Archie Bunker would be quite a dad to have...
posted by byort at 10:07 AM on June 14, 2002

Buffy's father Hank... didn't even show up for the funeral of his wife, never bothered to check up on his daughters. Gone with the wind... and the secretary, in Spain.
posted by prolific at 10:11 AM on June 14, 2002

> Further evidence that I'm hopelessly out of touch....when
> you mentioned "Ozzy" was #2, I presumed you meant
> Ozzy Nelson.

He did. They're really the same person, and both of 'em are the same as Fozzy Bear. (Me, I'm waiting for the show with Alice Cooper as the dad and Marilyn Manson as the son. For that I'd even get a TV.)
posted by jfuller at 10:18 AM on June 14, 2002

How about Lionel Luthor (Smallville)? He's such an ass.
posted by Tin Man at 10:19 AM on June 14, 2002

Ozzy is the second-worst dad on TV? Funny, a Parents magazine survey of 2,100 mothers found that Ozzy Osbourne was the third-most capable famous father. And that's in real life, not fiction.
posted by waxpancake at 10:20 AM on June 14, 2002

Man... this list is horrible... Not only is Hal, the father from macolm in the not #1, but he's been left out of the list entirely.

Where do they get these writers?
posted by 10sball at 10:20 AM on June 14, 2002

Hal is a *great* father! (Except for the back hair -- ick!)
posted by maudlin at 10:27 AM on June 14, 2002

I was going to squawk about the Sopranos spoiler myself, but then I went "well, the people who have HBO will laugh at me."

But I did want to let Ty know that he isn't alone. Carry on.
posted by Sapphireblue at 10:28 AM on June 14, 2002

SPOILERS for Keifer Sutherland in 24 too.

Aacheson: Al Bundy should of been in there, also Leland Palmer from Twin Peaks, but I guess it's just current shows.
posted by bobo123 at 10:53 AM on June 14, 2002

Brenda's dad on Six Feet Under is pretty kooky. And policeman Keith's father is a jerk too.
posted by Fofer at 10:57 AM on June 14, 2002

Major dis of the simpsons not to include Homer on that list.
posted by luser at 11:02 AM on June 14, 2002

Funny, a Parents magazine survey of 2,100 mothers found that Ozzy Osbourne was the third-most capable famous father. And that's in real life, not fiction.

Wow, ol' Ozzy impregnated a lot of women! (I'm assuming that's what you're saying here, since 2,100 random women surely wouldn't know enough of OO as a RL father to make a reasonable judgement of this type.)
posted by rushmc at 11:26 AM on June 14, 2002

Okay, my list of crummy TV fathers who aren't on this list:

* Al Bundy
* The dad from ALF (a.k.a. Jo Lieberman or Sven Goran Eriksson)
* The dad from Home Alone (come on, you left him at home TWICE!)

But king of bad dads is..

Peter Griffin (from Family Guy)

He said that his son was ill and that his dying wish was to get his dad's favourite show back on the air. Then, when the TV station came to check out the story, he pretended he'd healed his son, and was a hero :-D
posted by wackybrit at 1:08 PM on June 14, 2002

Gotta add Homer Simpson to that list. He's done things that would make Peter Griffin blush.
posted by skallas at 4:01 PM on June 14, 2002

My vote for all-time worst TV dad is Bob Saget, for two reasons:
First, laughing at a guy getting hit in the crotch with a baseball is setting a very bad example.
Second, his obvious extreme abuse of Mary-Kate & Ashley! I mean, for years, he let everybody believe they were only ONE little girl! What did he do with the other twin? Hide her in the closet? And was it always the same twin, or did he alternate them, 'cause they did both turn out equally weird...

Of course, for bad Fathering, you have to give special recognition to "Star Trek: TNG". Remember when Jean-Luc discovered he had a son and almost lost him to an angry ferengi? And Data's daughter didn't survive past one episode! And don't talk to me about Q's kid! And I always thought of Riker's transporter-accident clone as kind of a bad son...
It does kind of make a 21st century parent feel good to know that Dads won't be any smarter in another five centuries.
(Of course, let's see how Crighton on "Farscape" does… d'oh! Spoiler!)

I think I need to adjust my set… or my meds.
posted by wendell at 4:34 PM on June 14, 2002

Mulder's biological dad in "The X-Files" (aka The Smoking Man) wasn't a guy you'd want to spend a lot of time palling around with.
posted by diddlegnome at 8:02 PM on June 14, 2002

My vote for #1 is Vern Schillinger from Oz. He whacked his own son.

Vern gets a family visit when his heroin addicted son Andy ends up in Oz after being convicted for killing a black man. Vern despises his son for being an addict, but what really drives him mad is that Andy and Beecher have become friends. After Beecher suggests to Vern that he and Andy could get even closer, Vern gets livid. Vern confronts Andy during lunch and they end up in a fight that gets Andy thrown in the hole. While there, Andy mysteriously dies of a drug overdose. Where did the drugs come from? Can't really be sure. But, good ol' Vern discloses to one of the Aryans that his son's addiction proved that he was weak and never fit to be one of them.

Makes Ozzy look like Mike Brady.
posted by elgoose at 1:29 PM on June 18, 2002

I was going to squawk about the Sopranos spoiler myself, but then I went "well, the people who have HBO will laugh at me."

Sigh. Same here. But palegirl has decreed this an "unreasonable" complaint, which seems to carry the weight of a papal bull, so I'll just escort myself out.
posted by Skot at 1:41 PM on June 18, 2002