“...people who seem inbred telling us that diversity is bad...”
December 22, 2018 1:57 AM Subscribe
(NSFW, dark satire, CW) In which Frankie Boyle reviews 2018, especially covering Brexit (“...there was the general impression that European leaders had agreed to end freedom of movement just to stop Theresa May from visiting them”), the murder of Jamal Khashoggi (“...in future, when a Saudi diplomat orders a pizza, the Deliveroo rider will kick it the last few feet to the front door”), US politics (“Donald Trump trundled out in front of the cameras like a corpse on a Segway”) and climate change (“...will be to change the lyrics of America The Beautiful to '…from sea to boiling sea'”).
Frankie Boyle makes me laugh out loud. His columns are hysterical. This one from 2015 gave me momentary incontinence with its passing mention of Tories "laying eggs into Prince Philip's mouth."
posted by Morpeth at 3:15 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Morpeth at 3:15 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
"Philip Hammond delivering a budget speech so dry it was sponsored by Vagisil, making watching for 75 minutes feel like a gateway drug for necrophilia."
Yass. Queen.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:37 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
Yass. Queen.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:37 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
"It is at times like those that we will remember the work of Dominic Raab, who resigned in November, having decided that he could not endorse a deal that he himself had negotiated. Raab didn’t want to be Brexit secretary, but he didn’t have the negotiating skills to decline the job. When Raab took over, I was heartened by the thought that negotiations were being handled by someone with the air of an embattled leisure centre manager, who could be outmanoeuvred by a statue of Stephen Hawking. Surely better withdrawal terms have been negotiated during prison sex. "
Good lord. This is brilliant.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:39 AM on December 22, 2018 [12 favorites]
Good lord. This is brilliant.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:39 AM on December 22, 2018 [12 favorites]
2018 was horrific in general and personally worse... this goes some way to being catharsis.
Lots of hilarious genius to quote... but I'll just go with this because it's so tragic and so true:
Perhaps the saddest part of this whole business is knowing that there are so few British journalists committed enough to get murdered
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:50 AM on December 22, 2018 [12 favorites]
Lots of hilarious genius to quote... but I'll just go with this because it's so tragic and so true:
Perhaps the saddest part of this whole business is knowing that there are so few British journalists committed enough to get murdered
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:50 AM on December 22, 2018 [12 favorites]
Normally I enjoy watching some sort of TV special where Charlie Brooker recaps the previous year... but I think he's too kind, gentle, and charming for the likes of 2018. Thank heaven for Frankie Boyle.
posted by mmoncur at 4:00 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by mmoncur at 4:00 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
I love Frankie Boyle's biting satire, but I do wish I could read his articles without having my brain narrate in his voice.
posted by Marticus at 4:14 AM on December 22, 2018 [6 favorites]
posted by Marticus at 4:14 AM on December 22, 2018 [6 favorites]
I wish I could read his articles with the narration in his voice. I'd love audio of this, some of the biting anger present in his voice is necessary here for me.
posted by diziet at 4:41 AM on December 22, 2018 [7 favorites]
posted by diziet at 4:41 AM on December 22, 2018 [7 favorites]
He always sounds far too superior for me. He knocks all these people, but comes across as though the jobs they are doing are below him and not worth his superior abilities.!!
posted by Burn_IT at 5:38 AM on December 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Burn_IT at 5:38 AM on December 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
I don't know if it's feasible, Burn_IT, but I think if asked to serve Frankie Boyle would certainly seize the chance to lay eggs in Prince Philip's mouth.
posted by Morpeth at 6:02 AM on December 22, 2018 [15 favorites]
posted by Morpeth at 6:02 AM on December 22, 2018 [15 favorites]
Consider the plight of the satirist. I know you’ve got your own plight, and there are only so many plights that you can consider at any one time, and that the plight of the satirist might even seem to you to be one of the easier plights. […] The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldn’t survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny.
Just what I needed to fill the Newswipe-shaped hole in my Xmas!
posted by Doktor Zed at 8:01 AM on December 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
Just what I needed to fill the Newswipe-shaped hole in my Xmas!
posted by Doktor Zed at 8:01 AM on December 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
This guy can write! Maybe only an Irish person could plumb the depth of nihilistic humor with such eloquence?
posted by supermedusa at 8:12 AM on December 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 8:12 AM on December 22, 2018 [3 favorites]
SO MUCH BURN
JFC. Re arms sales to Saudi
Yet shouldn’t we, as a society, demand better? If we can set aside the moral element here (and I don’t know that we can, but just as an exercise in trying to recognise the sheer breadth of our current futility, it might prove useful), Britain sees its interests as almost synonymous with an industry that isn’t labour intensive, or environmentally sustainable, and that seems to be riddled with corruption, because it reminds us of what it was like to be powerful.
posted by lalochezia at 8:27 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
JFC. Re arms sales to Saudi
Yet shouldn’t we, as a society, demand better? If we can set aside the moral element here (and I don’t know that we can, but just as an exercise in trying to recognise the sheer breadth of our current futility, it might prove useful), Britain sees its interests as almost synonymous with an industry that isn’t labour intensive, or environmentally sustainable, and that seems to be riddled with corruption, because it reminds us of what it was like to be powerful.
posted by lalochezia at 8:27 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
Of course the NFL players are not actually protesting the flag. That would be as pointless as arguing with a sock, screaming at a table cloth, or a whole bunch of other stuff Trump probably does on a daily basis. The protest was originally about racial justice, and black people being shot dead by the police. You have to ask yourself how abusive a relationship has to be if even kneeling in silence is too provocative, how you are valued in a country where even the statement that your life matters ignites furious dissent.
Not funny, does not need to be. Too true. Great piece. Thanks for posting, Wordshore.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:03 AM on December 22, 2018 [51 favorites]
Not funny, does not need to be. Too true. Great piece. Thanks for posting, Wordshore.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:03 AM on December 22, 2018 [51 favorites]
My grandmother and great grandmothers on my father’s side are chuckling at “Brexit has many downsides, but I think it will be nice for the Irish to watch a British famine.”
posted by shorstenbach at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2018 [32 favorites]
posted by shorstenbach at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2018 [32 favorites]
This guy can write! Maybe only an Irish person could plumb the depth of nihilistic humor with such eloquence?
Psst. He's Scottish.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:22 AM on December 22, 2018 [23 favorites]
Psst. He's Scottish.
posted by elsietheeel at 9:22 AM on December 22, 2018 [23 favorites]
I just read this out loud over lunch, and my teenager would now like to go be an apprentice to Frankie, and learn to wield words with razor precision.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 9:40 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 9:40 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
Consider again the plight of the children starving in Yemen. It’s a hard thing to consider. It’s OK to admit that, I think – that it’s hard to empathise: you don’t know much about it, you have your own plight, and it’s a difficult thing to think about. To consider that, in a world that has pub lunches, wristwatches, golden retrievers, the novels of Donna Tartt, the music of Kendrick Lamar, flumes and The Amazing Spider-Man, there is still a plight where you starve to death, as a child, for no reason.
I mean, there is a reason, that I suppose has somehow made itself too obvious to mention. The reason is that some people are addicted to money and power, many of them pathologically so, and we let them do what they like. In our name, and with our taxes, we let them kill who they like in the service of their bored, baroque perversity, because we don’t care enough to stop them. We cannot seem to rouse ourselves, even as they move to turn the world into a consuming flame. We are running out of time to save the children of Yemen, and ourselves – and yet we could still, in theory, be redeemed. Consider the plight of the satirist.
It's brutal right through to the end.
posted by TheProfessor at 9:51 AM on December 22, 2018 [31 favorites]
I mean, there is a reason, that I suppose has somehow made itself too obvious to mention. The reason is that some people are addicted to money and power, many of them pathologically so, and we let them do what they like. In our name, and with our taxes, we let them kill who they like in the service of their bored, baroque perversity, because we don’t care enough to stop them. We cannot seem to rouse ourselves, even as they move to turn the world into a consuming flame. We are running out of time to save the children of Yemen, and ourselves – and yet we could still, in theory, be redeemed. Consider the plight of the satirist.
It's brutal right through to the end.
posted by TheProfessor at 9:51 AM on December 22, 2018 [31 favorites]
Psst. He's Scottish.
From Ulster stock to be fair, but yeah, his humour is very very Glasgow. With perhaps just a tiny bit of the "have you ever picked up your teeth with broken fingers?" NI edge.
posted by Buntix at 9:54 AM on December 22, 2018 [7 favorites]
From Ulster stock to be fair, but yeah, his humour is very very Glasgow. With perhaps just a tiny bit of the "have you ever picked up your teeth with broken fingers?" NI edge.
posted by Buntix at 9:54 AM on December 22, 2018 [7 favorites]
Meanwhile, the gocomics site includes some reruns like Backderf's "The City" and this 4-panel from 1998 shows (VERY sadly) how little some things - and people - have changed in 20 years.
Satire is not dead; it's just perpetually in reruns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:10 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
Satire is not dead; it's just perpetually in reruns.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:10 AM on December 22, 2018 [4 favorites]
He says in the article he grew up in an Irish Catholic Council estate in Scotland which led me to assume that he is of Irish descent if not nationality. I'm also completely willing to give the Scots kudos for being able to plumb the depths of nihilistic humor and despair with equal Grace.
posted by supermedusa at 10:18 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 10:18 AM on December 22, 2018 [5 favorites]
he is of Irish descent
It can be a distinction without a difference, as sometimes our ancestors went to live over there because of things like misunderstandings about some sheep or cattlewe they borrowed and then said people come back. This isn't even getting into the whole Fianna/Fenian Cycle stuff (which was probably also about livestock borrowing).
If you haven't already seen it, the educational series 'Burnistoun' can be helpful as an easy introduction to the ways ofmy those people and their cattle relocation based humour.
posted by Buntix at 10:34 AM on December 22, 2018 [11 favorites]
It can be a distinction without a difference, as sometimes our ancestors went to live over there because of things like misunderstandings about some sheep or cattle
If you haven't already seen it, the educational series 'Burnistoun' can be helpful as an easy introduction to the ways of
posted by Buntix at 10:34 AM on December 22, 2018 [11 favorites]
(And for the full nihilism.)
Love's a fallacy anyway, and men are all animals. And we're all just spinning through space on a baw o crap; hangin on for dear life. Like some maggots inside a deid dug some wee guy's flung ontae the waltzers.posted by Buntix at 11:03 AM on December 22, 2018 [9 favorites]
MetaFiler : I cudnae gie a f***!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 12:17 PM on December 22, 2018 [10 favorites]
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 12:17 PM on December 22, 2018 [10 favorites]
He had this to say about Boris:
Perhaps the next leader will be Boris Johnson, a man who sees genocide as the first stage of a planning application. Boris, a malevolent baked Alaska, is living out in public the great dramatic sweep of a life that asks what if a hero, instead of a single tragic flaw, had all of them.
posted by hototogisu at 4:37 PM on December 22, 2018 [26 favorites]
Perhaps the next leader will be Boris Johnson, a man who sees genocide as the first stage of a planning application. Boris, a malevolent baked Alaska, is living out in public the great dramatic sweep of a life that asks what if a hero, instead of a single tragic flaw, had all of them.
posted by hototogisu at 4:37 PM on December 22, 2018 [26 favorites]
What does it say about our times that we’re expected to look for moral guidance to corporations like Nike, whose brand message of “Just do it” started out as a looped PA announcement in their Vietnamese trainer factory.
Wouldn't the true story: the exhortation of a death row inmate facing a firing squad in Utah be even more apt?
posted by parmanparman at 7:16 PM on December 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
Wouldn't the true story: the exhortation of a death row inmate facing a firing squad in Utah be even more apt?
posted by parmanparman at 7:16 PM on December 22, 2018 [2 favorites]
Sadly we call those villains. Boris Johnson will never be a super-villain, that requires a vision beyond, "take it all for meeee...," and a brain that can do more than bull$#!%.
posted by Ignorantsavage at 7:24 PM on December 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by Ignorantsavage at 7:24 PM on December 22, 2018 [1 favorite]
A time where we no longer guess the fluctuations of the market, but our high priests stare into polished heads, newly bald from radiation sickness, and interpret the patterns cast by the light of flickering sewer-fat candles.
"Sewer-fat candles" did an excellent job of rerouting the coffee that was in my mouth to my sinuses.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:00 AM on December 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
"Sewer-fat candles" did an excellent job of rerouting the coffee that was in my mouth to my sinuses.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:00 AM on December 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
article: "Britain’s most savage satirist"
me: whoa fucking Nelly, that's a hell of a claim to make at the outset
article: "1. Theresa May dancing on stage at the Conservative Party conference (choreographer Ray Harryhausen), looking like an uncloaked Dementor on a hen weekend."
me: soldposted by Halloween Jack at 2:51 PM on December 23, 2018 [6 favorites]
Oh, shit: "Brexit has many downsides, but I think it will be nice for the Irish to watch a British famine." It's never too late for true lurve, folks.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:55 PM on December 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:55 PM on December 23, 2018 [5 favorites]
I was also waiting for Charlie Booker's Newswipe, mmoncur. Boyle is much darker.
posted by doctornemo at 3:34 PM on December 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
posted by doctornemo at 3:34 PM on December 23, 2018 [1 favorite]
This was cathartic and an indictment and amazing. Who knew you needed comic relief within satire? This bit was perfectly timed to release tension for this low-born's sense of humor:
...just a glimpse of a trainer and I’m back in short trousers, fibre-glassing that pensioner’s loft for a shiny 50 pence piece. (If you’re interested it was 10p for the insulating, 40p for wearing the shorts.)posted by maxwelton at 4:16 PM on December 27, 2018
Pendragon's link above is highly recommended if you want to hear Frankie make a lot of the same jokes, plus hear him say "The Spice Girls have reformed, like a chicken nugget."
posted by mmoncur at 3:45 AM on January 3, 2019
posted by mmoncur at 3:45 AM on January 3, 2019
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posted by rory at 3:00 AM on December 22, 2018 [34 favorites]