'tis the season...
January 3, 2019 4:39 PM Subscribe
As Brits hopefully eat and don't throw away good cheese, Easter is here (calendar pedants: Good Friday is 15 weeks from today) and with it the range of chocolate egg-shaped products on supermarket shelves. But there'll be problems, such as mass unwrapping, while Australia will have hot cross bun flavoured ice cream. However, UK food news is suddenly dominated by Greggs revealing a sausage roll that is ... vegan. Reaction was mixed, from the anticipation of Jack Monroe to the (expected) negative and deep upset huff of a former hack (maybe rigged). Meat-eaters (response) have also generally welcomed said Quorn-based product (which is not new), while Pizza Hut in the UK launch a vegan pizza. 354 days till Christmas.
It is one of the greatest meat substitutes to be named after an ancient hunt.
posted by ambrosen at 5:05 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ambrosen at 5:05 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
QUORN give me all the quorn, I demand that sausage roll.
posted by poffin boffin at 5:15 PM on January 3, 2019
posted by poffin boffin at 5:15 PM on January 3, 2019
Damnit Wordshore, I started craving sausage rolls last night and this isn't helping! I'd even eat a vegan one if it were around.
And also just to spite Piers Morgan.
posted by elsietheeel at 5:18 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
And also just to spite Piers Morgan.
posted by elsietheeel at 5:18 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
QUORN give me all the quorn, I demand that sausage roll.
/untz untz untz untz
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:19 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
/untz untz untz untz
posted by Celsius1414 at 5:19 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
I'm really directing my strongest of Atheist prayers that someone doesn't come in here and ruin Quorn for me.
posted by nevercalm at 5:21 PM on January 3, 2019
posted by nevercalm at 5:21 PM on January 3, 2019
It is one of the greatest meat substitutes to be named after an ancient hunt.
Well that's a head-scratcher of a name origin.
And yeah, seriously, let me have my Quorn. I mean, it did help save us from the Green Death, after all.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:37 PM on January 3, 2019
Well that's a head-scratcher of a name origin.
And yeah, seriously, let me have my Quorn. I mean, it did help save us from the Green Death, after all.
posted by soren_lorensen at 5:37 PM on January 3, 2019
Vegan cheese has never tasted good to me, but vegan/vegetarian sausage and hot dogs have usually tasted fine, if sometimes a bit dry. I'd happily eat a vegan sausage roll.
Those cream-filled chocolate eggs, though -- ugh. Clearly people love them, but they are not my thing. The unwrapping thing is funny, however.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:53 PM on January 3, 2019
Those cream-filled chocolate eggs, though -- ugh. Clearly people love them, but they are not my thing. The unwrapping thing is funny, however.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:53 PM on January 3, 2019
Is Valentine's Day chocolate not a thing in Britain? In the US we have a month and a half of hearts and flowers before the bunnies and eggs start showing up.
posted by Daily Alice at 6:03 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Daily Alice at 6:03 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
Quorn is good enough but sort of seems like junk food to me - it's so salty. It would never be a staple in my cooking like beans or tofu.
But on the cheese front, this has been the most shocking Wordshore post I have ever read.
People throw away cheese? People don't know what to do with leftover cheese? I...you...but...but you just put it in the refrigerator. And then you eat it, soft cheeses first. What's not to know about this process? It's not even necessary to take it out of the plastic wrap or wrap it in fancy paper or anything - that may be the best method but as long as you keep it in a container it will be fine. It...you just eat the cheese. It's not difficult.
The Frowners are a family with a long and storied history of cheese plates - we have cheese plates at the holidays, we have cheese plates when we have houseguests, we have cheese plates when it's been a busy week so bread, cheese and a simple salad do for dinner. When we've eaten our fill of cheese, we wrap any very soft or crumbly cheeses and put all together in a ziplock bag in the refrigerator. It's...why would you throw away cheese?
In my own personal cheese news, I stopped by Aldi and bought up their remaining holiday stock of "Leicester-style" red cheddar and aged "buttercase-style" cheese, both of which are very good and taste like they come from a fancier shop. (The actual red leicester that they stocked was bad - basically a rubbery American-style medium cheddar.) Some of it is in the refrigerator and the rest is in the freezer, and my cheese needs have been met for months to come. My purchase astonished everyone else in line. (I didn't actually clean the place out, which I felt would have been a bit selfish - there was plenty more, but I bought something like eleven cheeses.)
posted by Frowner at 6:12 PM on January 3, 2019 [12 favorites]
But on the cheese front, this has been the most shocking Wordshore post I have ever read.
People throw away cheese? People don't know what to do with leftover cheese? I...you...but...but you just put it in the refrigerator. And then you eat it, soft cheeses first. What's not to know about this process? It's not even necessary to take it out of the plastic wrap or wrap it in fancy paper or anything - that may be the best method but as long as you keep it in a container it will be fine. It...you just eat the cheese. It's not difficult.
The Frowners are a family with a long and storied history of cheese plates - we have cheese plates at the holidays, we have cheese plates when we have houseguests, we have cheese plates when it's been a busy week so bread, cheese and a simple salad do for dinner. When we've eaten our fill of cheese, we wrap any very soft or crumbly cheeses and put all together in a ziplock bag in the refrigerator. It's...why would you throw away cheese?
In my own personal cheese news, I stopped by Aldi and bought up their remaining holiday stock of "Leicester-style" red cheddar and aged "buttercase-style" cheese, both of which are very good and taste like they come from a fancier shop. (The actual red leicester that they stocked was bad - basically a rubbery American-style medium cheddar.) Some of it is in the refrigerator and the rest is in the freezer, and my cheese needs have been met for months to come. My purchase astonished everyone else in line. (I didn't actually clean the place out, which I felt would have been a bit selfish - there was plenty more, but I bought something like eleven cheeses.)
posted by Frowner at 6:12 PM on January 3, 2019 [12 favorites]
I’m a clergyperson who just survived Christmas services. Reading this post and realizing Easter is only fifteen weeks away makes my chest feel kind of tight.
posted by 4ster at 6:23 PM on January 3, 2019 [17 favorites]
posted by 4ster at 6:23 PM on January 3, 2019 [17 favorites]
Quorn confuses me. I automatically think it’s made from, well, corn, but then remember it’s made from a fungus that my bff is apparently *very* allergic to. He found out the bad way.
They couldn’t have called it Shroom or something to clue people in?
posted by greermahoney at 6:44 PM on January 3, 2019
They couldn’t have called it Shroom or something to clue people in?
posted by greermahoney at 6:44 PM on January 3, 2019
Don’t you, Wordshore, have some kind of history with cheese?
Ah yes.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 6:51 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Ah yes.
posted by chappell, ambrose at 6:51 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Oh lovely. My best friends S.O. got her "Brit box" in last week...so we're waiting for the BB for like a week thank you R.M.™ and watching BBC2 and AB FAB with Wispas' and Crunchie Rocks flailing about. And I say: " Joanna Lumley would own 'American Gods'".
Rule it
posted by clavdivs at 8:01 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
Rule it
posted by clavdivs at 8:01 PM on January 3, 2019 [1 favorite]
I haven't made them with Quorn, but when we had vegan friends nearby who often celebrated various holidays with us, my puff-pastry-based (Pepperidge Farms is vegan) Field Roast and Tofurky sausage rolls were extremely popular appetizers. And honestly, I liked them because they're not greasy so they let the puff fully puff.
Protip (but maybe not authentic): brush the sausages with a ketchup-mustard mix before rolling up.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:22 PM on January 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
Protip (but maybe not authentic): brush the sausages with a ketchup-mustard mix before rolling up.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:22 PM on January 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
I read through this post hours ago, and still can't believe that people people throw out cheese. Perfectly good cheese. They throw it out. They don't just....eat it.
posted by 41swans at 8:46 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by 41swans at 8:46 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Inspired by this post, I ventured into Woolworths (normally I visit Coles, where I am less likely to see students (did see a student)) and bought the hot cross bun ice-cream (it's heatwave here so welcome). Surprisingly expensive (4.70 for 1 litre) but yes, can report it did taste like hot cross bun. It also tasted like the ice-cream Christmas pudding recipe I have.
It's very creamy and has sultanas in it, though I found the "hot cross bun ripple" a bit intense and even a bit numbing on the tongue.
posted by freethefeet at 10:28 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's very creamy and has sultanas in it, though I found the "hot cross bun ripple" a bit intense and even a bit numbing on the tongue.
posted by freethefeet at 10:28 PM on January 3, 2019 [3 favorites]
Perhaps worth mentioning that most Quorn products aren’t vegan (they contain egg). The vegan versions are relatively new.
posted by tomcooke at 11:45 PM on January 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by tomcooke at 11:45 PM on January 3, 2019 [2 favorites]
Saddened to learn very quickly on the twitter thread that Greggs and Morgan share a PR firm. Write out "brands are not your friends" five hundred times, Paws.
posted by ominous_paws at 12:23 AM on January 4, 2019
posted by ominous_paws at 12:23 AM on January 4, 2019
What with the EU fireworks and this sausage roll thing, I'm starting to wonder if we can free ourselves of the gammon menace with an extravagantly inclusive musical number set to the background bursting of blood vessels, like some sort of meaty popcorn chorus.
> It is one of the greatest meat substitutes to be named after an ancient hunt.
WHAT. There's a painting of this hunt in my grandparent's house, and I always assumed it was a hilarious subtitle added to a generic hunting scene.
posted by lucidium at 3:53 AM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
> It is one of the greatest meat substitutes to be named after an ancient hunt.
WHAT. There's a painting of this hunt in my grandparent's house, and I always assumed it was a hilarious subtitle added to a generic hunting scene.
posted by lucidium at 3:53 AM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
During the Cold War in the US, all sorts of grifters and carpetbaggers hitched a ride on anti-Communist sentiment, attempting to tie their own concerns to patriotic ideas. Perhaps it's time to repurpose some of these for the Gammon/Snowflake Culture War?
“The first things theCommunists Postmodern Neo-Marxists do when they take over a country is ban cockfighting replace honest meat products with vegan substitutes”
posted by acb at 4:03 AM on January 4, 2019
“The first things the
posted by acb at 4:03 AM on January 4, 2019
Ah, the Liturgical calendar. Such a great thing.
This is currently Christmastide. We haven't even reached Epiphany yet. Easter season doesn't start until a couple of weeks before Lent. It is literally not Easter season now.
posted by hippybear at 4:39 PM on January 4, 2019
This is currently Christmastide. We haven't even reached Epiphany yet. Easter season doesn't start until a couple of weeks before Lent. It is literally not Easter season now.
posted by hippybear at 4:39 PM on January 4, 2019
It is literally not Easter season now.
No. I bought a genuine Cadbury Easter Egg and shared it in a hot tub with a marmalade maker from Melton Mowbray today.
So, Easter season it is. Case closed.
posted by Wordshore at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
No. I bought a genuine Cadbury Easter Egg and shared it in a hot tub with a marmalade maker from Melton Mowbray today.
So, Easter season it is. Case closed.
posted by Wordshore at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
Commercial availably of sugar-based products is no basis for a liturgical calendar. It's like having watery tarts lying about distributing swords. It's simply untenable.
posted by hippybear at 4:55 PM on January 4, 2019
posted by hippybear at 4:55 PM on January 4, 2019
The season are defined by what seasonal foods are available. Christmas pudding = Christmas. Cadbury Easter Egg = Easter. And so on. Not because I don't know pope yadda yadda the 94th decreed that in 2018 Easter begins when the sundial rings eleven times or whatevs.
I have an Easter Egg. It is therefore Easter. That is how the world works.
posted by Wordshore at 5:01 PM on January 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have an Easter Egg. It is therefore Easter. That is how the world works.
posted by Wordshore at 5:01 PM on January 4, 2019 [1 favorite]
I have a piece of petrified wood on my shelf, but that doesn't mean life is a primordial forest devoid of humans.
Although given the current news cycle, that is hard to disprove.
posted by hippybear at 5:04 PM on January 4, 2019
Although given the current news cycle, that is hard to disprove.
posted by hippybear at 5:04 PM on January 4, 2019
I have 54 Cadbury Creme Eggs in my fridge. I am quietly confident that my *Easter* party will attract more guests than your petrified wood party (sorry).
posted by Wordshore at 5:08 PM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Wordshore at 5:08 PM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
*looks up from hanging multiple slings and making sure every station is stocked with crisco and paper towels*
What petrified wood party?
posted by hippybear at 5:11 PM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
What petrified wood party?
posted by hippybear at 5:11 PM on January 4, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's like having watery tarts lying about distributing swords. It's simply untenable.
I mean, seeing the current state of affairs in the UK and US, I wouldn't be so hasty to dismiss the strange-women-lying-in-ponds approach.
posted by Celsius1414 at 6:14 PM on January 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
I mean, seeing the current state of affairs in the UK and US, I wouldn't be so hasty to dismiss the strange-women-lying-in-ponds approach.
posted by Celsius1414 at 6:14 PM on January 4, 2019 [2 favorites]
The kid who would be king looks like a fun romp exploring this idea.
posted by freethefeet at 11:30 PM on January 4, 2019
posted by freethefeet at 11:30 PM on January 4, 2019
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posted by soren_lorensen at 4:44 PM on January 3, 2019 [8 favorites]