"50 shades of Maple Glen"
February 8, 2019 8:37 AM Subscribe
" Full finished walk-out basement w bilco doors, includes a gym or 5th bedroom and also is a private adult sexual oasis. It can be converted back to a typical suburban basement. "
Picture #31 is where the classy oasis begins.
I do appreciate that the realtor is fully aware of what that walk-out "gym" is.
But the real question is: does the equipment stay with the house?
I do appreciate that the realtor is fully aware of what that walk-out "gym" is.
But the real question is: does the equipment stay with the house?
This post was deleted for the following reason: It looks like the interesting stuff has been removed from the listing, sorry. -- restless_nomad
"Home currently is being offered as an Air B & B rental @maisonxs that gets $750 a night on weekdays & $2000 a night on the weekends for private parties or entertainment."
Sure, sure, nothing grody is going on in there. This is just the house a nice family will want to spend $750,000 to live in.
posted by something something at 8:45 AM on February 8, 2019 [6 favorites]
Sure, sure, nothing grody is going on in there. This is just the house a nice family will want to spend $750,000 to live in.
posted by something something at 8:45 AM on February 8, 2019 [6 favorites]
Forget about the sex dungeon, look at that crazy master bathroom! The suburbs are wild.
posted by muddgirl at 8:47 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by muddgirl at 8:47 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
How embarrassingly boring.
posted by 1adam12 at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by 1adam12 at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
Sure, sure, nothing grody is going on in there. This is just the house a nice family will want to spend $750,000 to live in.
The sort of people buying this house can afford to have ServPro come in and sanitize it from top to bottom.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
The sort of people buying this house can afford to have ServPro come in and sanitize it from top to bottom.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
There isn't enough Lysol in the goddamn universe.
posted by saladin at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by saladin at 8:48 AM on February 8, 2019 [4 favorites]
Guess they like their bear skins and their bare skins.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:50 AM on February 8, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:50 AM on February 8, 2019 [5 favorites]
I, for one, am pleased they didn't go with the usual black-paint-and-pegboard wall décor that always looks like it's the inside of a garbage bag.
posted by Mogur at 8:50 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Mogur at 8:50 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
I live down the street from a sex club that takes cleanliness very seriously and it's not onerous. You just have to use the right chemicals at the right concentration and be diligent and thorough. A professionally cleaned sex dungeon is going to be a lot more sterile than anything in your own home.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:55 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:55 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
I’m a fan of the size of the bed in the master bedroom. Haven’t seen that before. Is it a double king?
posted by mantecol at 8:57 AM on February 8, 2019
posted by mantecol at 8:57 AM on February 8, 2019
slashdotted already?
The sort of people buying this house can afford to have ServPro come in and sanitize it from top to bottom.
Do NOT turn on the black-light.
posted by mikelieman at 8:59 AM on February 8, 2019
The sort of people buying this house can afford to have ServPro come in and sanitize it from top to bottom.
Do NOT turn on the black-light.
posted by mikelieman at 8:59 AM on February 8, 2019
I can't figure out what the red triangle thing does, and I don't think I want to. It's like the Prince of Wales' sex chair, which I stared at for a long time without realizing I did not actually want to figure it out.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:02 AM on February 8, 2019
posted by Countess Elena at 9:02 AM on February 8, 2019
I can't figure out what the red triangle thing does, and I don't think I want to.
The little Ikea bendy guy under the red triangle thing is possibly demonstrating what it is for, and I'm sure bendy Gestalta is happy he doesn't have eyes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:08 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
The little Ikea bendy guy under the red triangle thing is possibly demonstrating what it is for, and I'm sure bendy Gestalta is happy he doesn't have eyes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:08 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
Certainly seems pretty airy and bright for a den of iniquity. Maybe 50 shades of off-white?
posted by halfbuckaroo at 9:09 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by halfbuckaroo at 9:09 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
That said, I would probably get rid of the wood and especially any fur. You can clean tile, metal and vinyl just fine. The rest of it not so much.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:09 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:09 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
Comparing this to the photos on the Airbnb page for the same house is a fantastic demonstration of the difference a little lighting makes!
posted by theodolite at 9:12 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 9:12 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
I've got some friends who bought a house and only then noticed the cast-iron locking gate that secured the entrance to the bathroom. At least these people are warning the buyers that they're nasty in advance.
posted by howfar at 9:13 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by howfar at 9:13 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
My good friend's now-deceased dad was a big player on the local BDSM scene and his basement was like this but on steroids. In one wing of the basement he had like three "dungeons" (tiny, cramped, shallow ceiling, no windows, wooden doors that only locked/unlocked from the outside), a crucifix, a medical exam table, a coffin, all kinds of ceiling suspension stuff, the requisite chains/ropes/whips, etc.
...They had a hard time selling the house after he passed.
posted by nightrecordings at 9:14 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
...They had a hard time selling the house after he passed.
posted by nightrecordings at 9:14 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
A professionally cleaned sex dungeon is going to be a lot more sterile than anything in your own home.
I don't want to get all No True Sexman, but does a professionally cleaned sex dungeon even qualify as a dungeon?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:15 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
I don't want to get all No True Sexman, but does a professionally cleaned sex dungeon even qualify as a dungeon?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:15 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
Any place can be a dungeon if it has a dom/me in it.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:23 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:23 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
> I can't figure out what the red triangle thing does, and I don't think I want to.
Spanking bench, sawhorse style.
posted by desuetude at 9:29 AM on February 8, 2019
Spanking bench, sawhorse style.
posted by desuetude at 9:29 AM on February 8, 2019
This home is popular.
It's been viewed 499,099 times.
posted by Gray Duck at 9:35 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's been viewed 499,099 times.
posted by Gray Duck at 9:35 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
That's a lot of animal-skin rugs.
posted by box at 9:39 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by box at 9:39 AM on February 8, 2019 [1 favorite]
AirBNB listing: The host hasn't reported a carbon monoxide detector on the property.
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:41 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 9:41 AM on February 8, 2019 [3 favorites]
AirBNB listing: The host hasn't reported a carbon monoxide detector on the property.
"This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!"
posted by Johnny Assay at 9:45 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
"This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!"
posted by Johnny Assay at 9:45 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
Someone pointed this listing out to me yesterday (when it had only been viewed 120K times) and it occurred to me to wonder if one of the reasons they kept the kinky stuff in place was to get some viral marketing and drive a shit-ton more page views than any other town in that zip code has ever had.
I also wonder why they're selling - in particular, why they're selling it furnished.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:49 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
I also wonder why they're selling - in particular, why they're selling it furnished.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:49 AM on February 8, 2019 [2 favorites]
« Older Hand to hand, toe to toe, the trikitixa's boss in... | round, fast, spiky, ugly, fat, pleased Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by howfar at 8:45 AM on February 8, 2019 [7 favorites]