“I need to remember my lines. Now I couldn’t recall my name.”
March 21, 2019 10:43 PM   Subscribe

“Just when all my childhood dreams seemed to have come true, I nearly lost my mind and then my life.” In a personal essay published in The New Yorker, Emilia Clarke recounts the two aneurysms she suffered while filming the Game of Thrones series.
posted by New Frontier (27 comments total) 34 users marked this as a favorite
 
She is especially lucky to have achieved a level of success and recognition that few people can, to have survived a harrowing deadly illness, and if her writing is any indication, perhaps even to have the memento mori perspective on success that the illness provides, though both the first and last may not be adequately ascribed to luck alone. Bless her for her humanity, for her recognition of her fortune, and for her efforts to pay forward help for the illness she was able to leave behind.
posted by wildblueyonder at 11:02 PM on March 21, 2019 [20 favorites]


I read a significant part of this do my droswy wife aloud, and it is an affecting and well-written memoir of overlayered overwhelming life experiences. The consequences of neurology challenges are so hard to see, accept, and work around.
posted by mwhybark at 11:21 PM on March 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


er, "to my drowsy wife"
posted by mwhybark at 11:37 PM on March 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


I had a sports-related concussion which has been a frustrating and scary experience enough. The newer research says even "mild" (a misnomer) injuries have measurable lasting cognitive impacts years on. There's not much societal awareness of this and what head injury sufferers experience and need. One paper I found on concussions noted that as society is tending towards valuing mentally intensive work, such as acting and memorizing lines in Emilia Clarke's context as an actor, and suggests that neurological health and safety will become a more common concern by people in society over time.
posted by polymodus at 11:57 PM on March 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


This hit me really hard, and I am so glad she lived, and also that she decided to share, it makes a difference, and it especially does the way she has dealt with a very awful thing to have happen.

My father had an aneurysm when I was 17, and after 5 years in a coma he passed away. He wasn't prone to headaches and woke up one day with an extremely intense one and that was that. It was something he was born with, it took 42 years to burst, as I would imagine it was something Emilia Clarke was born with also.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 12:10 AM on March 22, 2019 [9 favorites]


Wow, it’s amazing she was able to keep going through that, and awesome that she’s organizing that SameYou charity. These neuro events can really snowball.

My mom was surprise diagnosed with a memingioma on Dec 22, had it out on Jan 3, had a gnarly scalp-to-ear suture and a straightforward, unusually fast recovery… got out of rehab and back home mostly recovered on Jan 21, then had a fall on Jan 23 where she struck and reopened that suture, was diagnosed with an infection that was affecting her balance, spent a week back in hospital being treated and went back to rehab with IV antibiotics and no short term memory, at her surgical followup the doc didn’t like the look of her suture, at a procedure to open and clean that wound they took a culture, which showed microbes that led them to remove the bone trapdoor they’d gone in through for the original surgery, meaning she then needed a helmet whenever out of bed and an ongoing 6 week course of IV antibiotics (folllowed by a few watchful weeks) before she can get a 3d-printed skull plate replacement, when she got back to rehab after 2½ weeks in hospital she was very scattered, limited, and scared, then about a week into that rehab became dozy enough that they sent her back to hospital, where it turned out that elevated blood pressure had led to posterior reversible encephalopathy (where the rear part of the brain’s been squeezed too much, resulting in small damaged areas called infarcts that can cause seizures, so for the last two weeks she’s been in the ICU having a cocktail of antiseizure meds, antibiotics, and sedatives adjusted daily to try to let her wake up without seizures, as she’s watched through a camera so they can correlate any weird patterns in her EEG with her movements, being well out of it and hardly awake or talking…

How she can rehab after all these continuing setbacks is anyone’s guess and very concerning. SameYou could be an enormous help to us — thanks for posting, New Frontier!
posted by Haere at 12:58 AM on March 22, 2019 [45 favorites]


Hugs, Haere. That sounds like a nightmare and this random internet stranger is wishing you and your mum all the best.
posted by ninazer0 at 1:21 AM on March 22, 2019 [23 favorites]


But I was determined: one year of no bad productions, no plays above a bar.
What does that mean?
posted by unliteral at 4:08 AM on March 22, 2019


That's an amazing, and harrowing, story. One wonders if all that pain and medication isn't substantially responsible for the on-screen image of her character? I've had to be on serious pain meds for extended periods, and I cannot imagine so much as stepping foot onto a production set in that condition, let alone delivering lines.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:13 AM on March 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


Crappy vanity affairs in the rented upstairs rooms of a pub, I think, unliteral.
posted by Jilder at 4:17 AM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


vanity affairs in the rented upstairs rooms of a pub
Is that a thing? I think I’d like to be there. Amateur dramatics with Emilia or anyone with some oomph sounds good to me.
No bad productions - what’s that?
Admittedly, if they were crappy it doesn’t sound ideal but…
posted by unliteral at 4:44 AM on March 22, 2019


But I was determined: one year of no bad productions, no plays above a bar.

What does that mean?


Basically, it was a resolution to be picky and only take acting gigs that seemed personally enriching or that might further her career, rather than just taking everything that came along.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:47 AM on March 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


No you're crying. For some reason this got me.
posted by limeonaire at 5:53 AM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


I now understand why she seemed almost overly gregarious in her initial interviews and press tours -- not merely sudden fame but renewed life.
posted by filtergik at 6:32 AM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


Yeah this resonates a lot, as a person who developed a neurological disease in my early 30's it's been an absolute monkey wrench in my life. Bad enough to have disrupted/derailed my career, but not bad enough to allow for disability, so it's up to me to find high paying work were "suddenly loses consciousness" and "periods of total aloofness" are acceptable accommodations in my given field. Which is tough.

I'm very glad she's done so well. The self-doubt and feeling of not knowing one's self can be very overwhelming.
posted by French Fry at 6:32 AM on March 22, 2019 [11 favorites]


> vanity affairs in the rented upstairs rooms of a pub

Is that a thing? I think I’d like to be there. Amateur dramatics with Emilia or anyone with some oomph sounds good to me.


Not only is this a thing, you're probably near many such shows and don't even know it. She's referring to the really hit-or-miss kind of productions that's on the slimmest of budgets, stuff that you probably are writing off because you maybe went to a production and it wasn't good.

"the upstairs rooms of a pub" isn't necessarily the venue. She's talking more about "the spaces carved out of spare rooms and just barely revamped to performance standards, so they could be rented out to just-starting-out theater companies." Here in NYC this is the kind of production known as "off-off-Broadway", and was where I did the vast majority of my theater career and where the vast majority of other working actors do theirs. There are theaters tucked into office buildings, disused storefronts, old schools, church basements, spare rooms above bars, back rooms of bars, and any other place where someone had some extra space and decided to use it to that purpose and where there was only space for 60 people (or even less) in the audience.

It isn't necessarily "amateur" dramatics," either. At least in the US, those people are being paid. They're being paid a pittance, but they are being paid something.

Technically actors (and stage managers) do work here to get experience and exposure; the hope is that if you have a really, really great team and a really great production, someone with a shit-ton of money will call the company manager and say "I saw your show on Friday and I loved it. I'd love to help you get a contract to stage it in a bigger theater with an off-Broadway contract instead." (This is how the show Urinetown got made - it started as a little show in New York's Fringe Festival, then someone came to them with a shit-ton of money so they could produce it off-Broadway, and then someone else came along with two shit-tons of money so they could stage it on Broadway.)

Or, it's a way for existing actors to keep in practice and get themselves seen while they're waiting for their big break. Many in the profession never move beyond this level; but some do. I've mentioned in past comments that I worked with Colman Domingo, Constance Wu, and Cote de Pablo; those were all this kind of show, with Colman and I in a space carved out of the basement of a bigger theater, Constance and I in a theater space on the 6th floor of an office building, and Cote and I on the stage at a high school.

The thing is, for each of those three, there were another three actors equally as talented and fun to watch - but they just haven't had their big break yet like Colman, Constance, or Cote did. You'd have loved the shows those other people were in. You just haven't seen them in anything bigger (maybe they were extras in a Law and Order episode or something, but that's it).

....So yeah, theater in the rented upstairs rooms of a pub is absolutely a thing, and is usually flying under most people's radars because the cheap-and-cheerful staging makes people uneasy about the quality. And there is always that risk. But....the odds of seeing a good production are way better than you think.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:48 AM on March 22, 2019 [32 favorites]


Here in NYC this is the kind of production known as "off-off-Broadway"

In Chicago, I think it's often referred to as "storefront theater".
posted by ZeusHumms at 8:20 AM on March 22, 2019 [2 favorites]


In LA that’s just being in line for a latte.

Loved fellow GoT’er and fellow badass actor Lena Headey’s post this morning referring to Emilia as a Mother of Dragons for real.
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:47 AM on March 22, 2019 [6 favorites]


That's an amazing story. Good on her for keeping her shit together enough to work while dealing with all that stress and trauma.
posted by rmd1023 at 9:20 AM on March 22, 2019


I emerged from the operation with a drain coming out of my head. Bits of my skull had been replaced by titanium. These days, you can’t see the scar that curves from my scalp to my ear, but I didn’t know at first that it wouldn’t be visible.

Me too!
posted by Splunge at 9:21 AM on March 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


Years ago I wrote an article about subarachnoid hemorrhages for a content mill. Of all the things I wrote for them, it has stuck with me the most, particularly one bit of information: the first symptom is a severe, sudden-onset headache (known as a thunderclap headache).

I will never forget that if I'm around someone who experiences a sudden debilitating headache, I need to immediately call an ambulance, because every second counts with a brain hemorrhage. As an occasional migraine sufferer, this never would have occurred to me before I did the research for that article. I try to make a point to spread this information around, because it can absolutely save a life.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:42 AM on March 22, 2019 [17 favorites]


Someone I know had an event like this, and it hit them in the middle of a business meeting with no warning. I am damn glad they got help right that very second, just as I am glad this young woman got into an ambulance quickly.

But God help all the poor bastards who don't have health insurance. I tell my kids we're lucky to be able to go to pretty much any doctor that we need to, and then I have to explain that for most of the kids and families in America it isn't that easy. There's no real answer why, either. *sigh*

I am glad she shared this story....though, for my money, talking about it when it happened would only reinforce what a bad-ass she (and her character) is. Well done, Ms. Clarke, and many happy returns to the stage.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:49 AM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


I am so glad she's coming forward with this, and for her phenomenal recovery (and for her acknowledgement that her celebrity status and privilege is at least partially responsible for her recovery -- both access to really good doctors and speech therapists, as well as a job she loves that requires her to find ways around the linguistic roadblocks her brain was throwing up).

A high school classmate died of an aneurysmal subarachnoid hemorrhage, at Christmas break during our first year of college. It was terrible. I wasn't even very close to her when we were at school together, but I went to her funeral, which was standing-room-only, and cried and cried as her brother and boyfriend and a couple other classmates carried out her coffin.
posted by basalganglia at 10:10 AM on March 22, 2019 [4 favorites]


A boyfriend's twin died of one of these. He was a construction worker and had felt crappy for a bit but with no health insurance, he did what many of us do and popped some more advil and went about his day.
One morning on a job site, he complained of a wicked bad headache and his boys teased him about drinking too much the night before (which he hadn't). He laughed it off and said he was gonna go sit in the corner for a second to wait it out. He never got up.

Who knows if he'd had access to health care if he'd still be here. His twin was encouraged to get a brain scan to see if he had similar issues but he didn't have insurance either, so...
posted by teleri025 at 11:29 AM on March 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


I remember seeing her doing some publicity for the 3rd season (or maybe being papped) and thinking "wow, what a weird hairstyle choice" but I OFTEN find myself thinking that about TV actors who are between seasons who have to maintain one hairdo for months at a time or wear wigs for their shows, who just want to have different hair between seasons.

But nope! She was covering up a massive surgical scar!

What a story, I'm glad she's okay. And I'm glad she has the resources for therapy because MAN would I need a lot of it if I had to go through something like that.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 3:50 PM on March 22, 2019 [3 favorites]


I grew up reading Tiger Beat magazine and comic books because they provided the perfect balance of text and graphics to keep me engaged, and as a result, my adult reading taste is skewed towards over the top experiences and things that are pleasing to look at, combined with a healthy dose of celebrity news.

While that can explain why I devoured this piece, Emilia Clarke's incredible strength and grace and willingness to talk about this really got to me. She is just wonderful.

I suppose I need to start watching her show now. It has what--leprechauns?
posted by yes I said yes I will Yes at 3:48 AM on March 23, 2019 [2 favorites]


I suppose I need to start watching her show now. It has what--leprechauns?

Undead ice leprechauns. Also dragons.
posted by Celsius1414 at 6:23 PM on March 25, 2019


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