Felt cute might arrest you later
April 21, 2019 10:51 AM   Subscribe

Tweets that joke about arrests and “free housing” in jail won’t make communities trust law enforcement more. “Please help! My name is 10 Pounds of Weed. I am lost and looking for my owner. I was sent to the wrong address yesterday in Columbus and now the police have me locked up in the evidence room. Please get me out of here soon, you will need your ID. Thanks a bunch,” reads a tweet last year from the Columbus, Indiana, Police Department. Hilarious … There’s nothing funny about being arrested, which could lead to jail, legal fees, or time away from work and family, all for possessing a substance that’s legal in 10 states.

Beyond coming off as tone-deaf, sometimes police department social media use can seriously backfire. In 2017, a trio of police officers in Gainesville, Florida, posted a selfie of themselves working on Hurricane Irma relief efforts. Commenters noticed that the officers were attractive, and the post went viral-viral—the Washington Post even wrote about the #HotCops. But it only took a few days for an online sleuth to unearth anti-Semitic Facebook posts by one of the officers in the photo, after which he was suspended.

One tweet from the Illinois State Police last month included a photo with an array of different types of handcuffs. “We love jewelry. We carry it with us. We even let you wear it when we give you a free ride to jail,” it read, along with the awkward hashtags #BraceletsAreOurFavorite, #SharingIsCaring, and #SoManyChoices. The cops are probably trying to come off as funny. It’s not working.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis (41 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
 
I have noticed that just about everything cops write on social media comes off as sinister and threatening, even when they're trying to be sincere. Police are a cult and the cognitive dissonance breaks your brain at some point.
posted by bleep at 11:10 AM on April 21, 2019 [70 favorites]


I think that the Bangor Police Dept. may have started the trend, and generally seemed OK, but then others caught on... at best, they come off as "Hello fellow kids", and at worst, they're like the examples in the article.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:16 AM on April 21, 2019 [5 favorites]


I believe it was John Scalzi who said, "The failure mode of 'clever' is 'asshole.'"

Throw in a group of people with the power to kill people without consequence, and well, that line is even easier to cross.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 11:33 AM on April 21, 2019 [103 favorites]


They don't realize that they're joking about the trauma that they inflict on people. Either that, or they know but don't care, because they're bad people, and we can all laugh at bad people getting what they deserve, right? Not seeing the issue with this kind of humor is just a symptom of how they dehumanize the people they see as enemies.

I am so disgusted by policing in the US that I can't laugh at any police social media anymore, but there's still a difference between joking about things like goats on the loose and joking about throwing people in jail.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 11:36 AM on April 21, 2019 [25 favorites]


"I still can’t get over the fact that American police are so predictably violent towards innocent people that you can literally call in a hit on somebody by making a fake 911 call. ....Like a guy was just (rightly!) convicted of murder for swatting somebody else, which is basically the legal system admitting that its enforcement arm is free to kill indiscriminately and bears no responsibility for the killing. ....So calling the cops on somebody has the same legal status as throwing somebody in a tiger enclosure would. Tigers can’t be prosecuted for murder and neither can cops, so that shit’s on you now. Normal country. @babadokspinoza"
posted by The Whelk at 11:53 AM on April 21, 2019 [134 favorites]


...which is basically the legal system admitting that its enforcement arm is free to kill indiscriminately and bears no responsibility for the killing.

It's actually kind of amazing how much crap you can get away with in the US if you can convince people that your profession is "A Tough Job"™
posted by Thorzdad at 12:09 PM on April 21, 2019 [15 favorites]


Seems like a specific subset of all right-wing humor. Even when it's clever, it basically boils down to ridiculing less-fortunate people.
posted by ctmf at 12:10 PM on April 21, 2019 [17 favorites]


Punching down is very much on-brand for them.
posted by peeedro at 12:11 PM on April 21, 2019 [8 favorites]


Way back in 1980 – and even before the election of Ronald Reagan – sociologist Bertram Gross predicted the rise of a Friendly Fascism in America, and this is a creepily direct manifestation of that rise, which is by now well advanced.
posted by jamjam at 12:27 PM on April 21, 2019 [9 favorites]


The Gallup poll linked in the article at be more interesting than the article itself, even if one poll is a small indicator. A 15% drop in confidence in the police by Hispanic folks and a similar 15% drop in confidence by folks between 18 and 34 is nothing to sneeze at.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:28 PM on April 21, 2019 [7 favorites]


Mod note: Folks, please refresh and stop responding to a deleted comment. Thanks.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 1:19 PM on April 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


I once served on a jury where the defendant claimed the police officer had told him they were impounding his car (an ordinary minivan) because it was so nice and valuable. The defendant was not a native English speaker, and had recalled this with sincerity rather than the poor attempt at a joke (by the police officer) that it obviously was, and the prosecutor attacked this recollection, saying words to the effect of "clearly the defendant is making up these stories, because nobody would call his vehicle valuable." The police officer in question, on the stand, also claimed that he had not said that.

But while deliberating, us folks in the jury remembered that the very first thing the police officer said on the stand under oath was a similarly shitty joke that was highly inappropriate for the venue. That was the end of the jury taking his testimony at face value, and that was one of the reasons we acquitted the defendant.

So thank you for making that joke, Mr. Police Officer, to help us protect an innocent person from your shitty entrapment attempt.
posted by davejay at 1:31 PM on April 21, 2019 [124 favorites]


"A Tough Job"™

Fun fact: even in gun-nuts America, policing isn't even in the top ten of dangerous jobs. And to the extent that it is dangerous, it's mostly because of car accidents.
posted by klanawa at 1:55 PM on April 21, 2019 [27 favorites]


Or even the basic logic, roofing is a very tough job with a high accident and mortality rate, therefor roofers should be allowed to murder one person a year.
posted by The Whelk at 2:02 PM on April 21, 2019 [53 favorites]


If you know where the cop bar on your neighborhood is and they have a wifi jukebox you can have a grand old time. Ask me how I know.
posted by East14thTaco at 2:03 PM on April 21, 2019 [87 favorites]


East 14th, please post your playlist!
posted by pmburns222 at 2:38 PM on April 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


Fuck the Police

Cop Killer

More song titles that I'm not going to post here.
posted by East14thTaco at 3:11 PM on April 21, 2019 [7 favorites]


On the flip side, it’s fun to see the shade police Facebook posts get when they’re bragging about a lackluster “bust” of ditchweed, airsoft gun, and dollar bills splayed out on the table next to some overly-proud cops posturing like they took down Pablo Escobar.
posted by dr_dank at 3:11 PM on April 21, 2019 [8 favorites]


Ask me how I know.

Consider it so asked.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:22 PM on April 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


Super off-putting and inappropriate. Humor and locking people up just doesn’t mix. Just this week my local PD put out this corny press release.

[the suspect] was found to be carrying a loaded semi-automatic pistol in his jacket, had 23.5 grams of methamphetamine, 1.5 grams of heroin, a taser and mushrooms (not the kind grandma put in her spaghetti sauce).
posted by porn in the woods at 5:18 PM on April 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


oh so it’s bully humor

just call it what it is
posted by DoctorFedora at 5:49 PM on April 21, 2019 [21 favorites]


East14th, I know you don't want to post your full list even though many of us would enjoy that, but I hope that Concrete Blonde's "God Is A Bullet" is on it.

Wrt the article, for me as someone who's experienced police violence, the police memes just read as the self-justifications of any other entitled abuser.
posted by bile and syntax at 5:50 PM on April 21, 2019 [11 favorites]


Way back in 1980 – and even before the election of Ronald Reagan – sociologist Bertram Gross predicted the rise of a Friendly Fascism in America, and this is a creepily direct manifestation of that rise, which is by now well advanced.
posted by jamjam at 12:27 PM on April 21 [4 favorites +] [!]


California Uber Alles

posted by eustatic at 5:59 PM on April 21, 2019 [9 favorites]


Different people have different senses of humor.

Some have no proper sense of humor at all.


What I don't get is who follows these departments on social media and why. What is the upside of following some PD on social media?
posted by AugustWest at 6:00 PM on April 21, 2019 [2 favorites]


What I don't get is who follows these departments on social media and why

The people who post 'saw a suspicious looking [non-white] person, be careful everyone" on NextDoor.
posted by Space Coyote at 6:04 PM on April 21, 2019 [14 favorites]


This reminds me of how, when the NOPD drove down and filled two black families with bullets, in the wake of Katrina, all of the jokes were about placing a gun on the dead man they had shot in the back. They pulled some random gun out of evidence to plant at the scene, and joked about calling it their "ham sandwich"

Cop humor sucks.
posted by eustatic at 6:08 PM on April 21, 2019 [4 favorites]


Some cops pulled me over, and made a “joke” about needing my license after I had already given it to them, and being serious and angry that I didn’t have it.

I was afraid, y’all.

For them it was HILARIOUS HIJINKS.

Police have no fucking conception of the danger of the authority they have.
posted by corb at 6:54 PM on April 21, 2019 [30 favorites]


Police have no fucking conception of the danger of the authority they have.

I disagree. Cops know exactly the danger of their authority. They bask in it. They count on it.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:01 PM on April 21, 2019 [44 favorites]


Clay Higgins got kicked off the force for this schtick, then got elected to Congress. I am sorry, everyone.
posted by eustatic at 9:02 PM on April 21, 2019 [1 favorite]


What I don't get is who follows these departments on social media and why. What is the upside of following some PD on social media?

I remember certain police blotters being popular in earlier days of the Internet because the content was more of the "small-town oddities" variety and sometimes had a voice that was sort of self-aware about it. I think one of the limitations of "cop humor" as a genre though is always taking themselves too seriously underneath and trying to keep up a tough guy attitude. And even the lighthearted ones run a risk of coming off too much as institutional PR.
posted by atoxyl at 12:39 AM on April 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


Some cops pulled me over, and made a “joke” about needing my license after I had already given it to them, and being serious and angry that I didn’t have it.

This reminds me of that Queer Eye episode when the cop getting a makeover’s shitty friend pulls everyone over when Karamo was driving, just as a “tough guy” joke.
posted by knownassociate at 4:43 AM on April 22, 2019 [8 favorites]


A pizza baker probably bakes a lot of pizzas. I would understand if they joked in a way that made it clear they've completely disassociated from the task and no longer see pizzas as food.

If someone who oversees human lives and justice jokes in a way that makes it clear they have disassociated themselves from that task... It's more alarming than charming.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:49 AM on April 22, 2019 [9 favorites]


What I don't get is who follows these departments on social media and why. What is the upside of following some PD on social media?

In my case, it's mostly for info about things like car crashes and also so that if they make the mistake of posting shitty jokes, there's someone to notice and call them on it.

And with local police radio increasingly being encrypted, police department Twitter feeds are apparently the best we can expect. Colorado's attempt to limit police radio encryption failed earlier this month.
posted by asperity at 8:06 AM on April 22, 2019 [5 favorites]


Yep, exactly as asperity said. Sometimes the PD account is the first one to post about an accident or warning, or the most detailed.

It also gives me the opportunity to post as many variants of "ACAB" as I can think of to their tweets. I'm especially proud of the one when they posted a pic of kittens in snuggly blankets for a freeze warning and I replied "All Cats And Blankets."
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:39 AM on April 22, 2019 [13 favorites]


Oh, it may have been "All Cats Are Blanketed." Either way.
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:40 AM on April 22, 2019 [6 favorites]


I once was at a community event where a former RCMP officer was recounting times he had done things like the "joke" the cop pulled on corb. He thought it was hilarious that people ALWAYS complied with whatever ridiculous thing he told them to do. My friend (bless her) said, "That's because they were afraid of you and your authority, which you were abusing."

The guy was totally in denial. No no, that wasn't it at all! It was because these were unintelligent low lifes that he pulled these pranks on, you see. Nothing any of us said could convince him otherwise. It certainly did not do much to improve my opinion of the police.

Police departments deciding they need to improve their image using social media while ignoring the real problem (entrenched, institutionalized racism, sexism, and general abuse of power) reminds me of this old essay by Naomi Klein, "Give Me a Hug: When Multinationals Want to Be Our Friends."Substitute "the police" for corporations and you have the essence of the argument:
Ever since [the police] began facing increased scrutiny from civil society—mostly for [killing unarmed people of colour with impunity]—an industry has ballooned to help [police departments] respond. It seems clear, however, that many...remain utterly convinced that all they have is a "messaging problem," one that can be neatly solved by settling on the right, socially minded brand identity.
...
But I can offer this advice without reservation: Nothing will change until [police departments] realize that they don't have a communications problem. They have a reality problem.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:38 PM on April 22, 2019 [18 favorites]


It's actually kind of amazing how much crap you can get away with in the US if you can convince people that your profession is "A Tough Job"™

Okay, so what about medical providers? I have spent the past several days of my life as an RN taking harassing phone calls from a patient about why his medication prescription can't get filled. (It's a combination of him missing appointments with a specialist and the pharmacy receiving things slowly; I have zero to do with it). I've been groped and hit on in gross ways, and been in the center of conflicts that narrowly avoided physical escalation. I've done outreach on street corners with drug dealing happening all around me. Others in my profession have done all of this and then some. Somehow, miraculously, we do our jobs without carrying guns or having SWAT teams with military weapons at our disposal.

Even with all this turmoil, we routinely rank as the most trusted profession in the US. Although we have a wide array of compounds that could kill a person at our disposal, we don't regularly go around giving fatal doses if someone makes sudden movements in our presence. In the event of a genuine medication error resulting in death or serious adverse effects, we're liable to be charged with a felony, despite all evidence pointing to the fact that charges only lead to more dangerous lies down the line as folks feel the pressure to be perfect. Still waiting for the day when cops who "accidentally" shoot young black men face the same kind of scrutiny routinely.

The difference is, even though nursing is risky and physically demanding/emotionally draining, it's still dominated by women so we're still expected to be soft and accommodating and never show fear. Meanwhile cops get the benefits that come with out of control toxic masculinity, including the use of "edgy" humor for posturing and the use of deadly force at the slightest provocation. My gosh, men are so emotional, why do we trust them with weapons?
posted by I am a Sock, I am an Island at 12:45 PM on April 22, 2019 [33 favorites]


Although we have a wide array of compounds that could kill a person at our disposal

Bit of a side note, but don't forget the lethal radiation-generating machines and radioactive sources. I work in radiation safety for reactors, but I went to a class once with some hospital RSOs, and uh, no thanks. Pass on that job.
posted by ctmf at 1:39 PM on April 22, 2019


Oh ffs. I just read this article about the RCMP on the CBC, and it’s a perfect example for this thread.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:14 PM on April 22, 2019 [1 favorite]


What I don't get is who follows these departments on social media and why

The people who post 'saw a suspicious looking [non-white] person, be careful everyone" on NextDoor.
posted by Space Coyote at 9:04 PM on April 21 [14 favorites +] [!]


Meanwhile, my city is considering a human rights ordinance that would make it a misdemeanor to call 911 on people of color for participating in their own lives.
posted by rebent at 1:16 PM on April 23, 2019 [6 favorites]


[the suspect] was found to be carrying a loaded semi-automatic pistol in his jacket, had 23.5 grams of methamphetamine, 1.5 grams of heroin, a taser and mushrooms (not the kind grandma put in her spaghetti sauce).

Fuck you, cops, you don't know my grandma.
posted by atrazine at 5:42 AM on April 24, 2019 [7 favorites]


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