June 27, 2002

2:36 PM

From the "life is funnier than The Onion" department...A giraffe lept off a cliff to its death Wednesday in Nairobi after learning it was a prime suspect in the killing of an American priest at a luxury hotel. Perhaps it was upset about the recent pedophilia scandal in the church? (via The Morning News -- aw, come on! We needed a good laugh around here.)
posted by me3dia (13 comments total)

Aw. That's sad.
posted by ColdChef at 2:38 PM on June 27, 2002

Perhaps in its drugged state it did not notice there was a cliff there.

Doh!
posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:39 PM on June 27, 2002

...it's not like taking a cow for a walk. Once a giraffe takes it in its head to do something, that's it.
posted by crunchland at 2:41 PM on June 27, 2002

I appreciate you sticking your neck out like that, me3dia, but I think this is just a tall tale.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:44 PM on June 27, 2002

Just to save future viewers from the horror that is themorningnews.com, please visit themorningnews.ORG.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 2:53 PM on June 27, 2002

"You can never get into the mind of a giraffe," he said.

Possibly one of the best lines ever.
posted by mapalm at 2:57 PM on June 27, 2002

Whoops! Thanks, monju. Should've just alt-c/alt-v'd the URL.
posted by me3dia at 2:59 PM on June 27, 2002

Bah, he should have fought rather than taking the coward's way out. I once saw a film of a giraffe kicking the head off a full-grown lion.
posted by rushmc at 3:12 PM on June 27, 2002

"You can never get into the mind of a giraffe," he said.

Me too, mapalm, that's the one I liked. Truer words were rarely spoken.
posted by LeLiLo at 3:17 PM on June 27, 2002

The giraffe was just a patsy. They made it look like a suicide, to get rid of him before he could start squealing.
posted by chuq at 4:00 PM on June 27, 2002

"It is is out of the question that a lion or buffalo was responsible, because we don't have them in the park,"

- Put Scotland Yard on hold, these guys are good.
posted by Frasermoo at 12:59 AM on June 28, 2002

Worst. Sleuthing. Ever. They've pinned the blame on a giraffe, but it's obvious that the perpetrator is a smuggled-in buffalo.
posted by shinybeast at 2:58 AM on June 28, 2002

Poor thing. It acted fairly naturally by kicking out at a guy who didn't have the sense to stay back from large wild animals -- you don't seriously think the giraffe chased the man down, do you? -- and then it got drugged and frightened by guys too stupid to bring it down safely.

[Also, it's suspicious to me that this happened when Deep Throat is suddenly so much in the news.]

[And I wouldn't be surprised if the pastor was found with his pants down and a pair of stilts nearby.]
posted by pracowity at 3:23 AM on June 28, 2002