Let’s see them aliens
July 15, 2019 1:06 PM Subscribe
A video game streamer SmyleeKun and the group “Shitposting cause im in shambles” created an event, titled Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us, on Facebook. The event is set to take place on September 20, 2019 at 3am. Attendees will meet at the Area 51 Alien Center in Amargosa Valley, Nevada before proceeding to Area 51 itself. Well, attempting to proceed, anyway. The initial plan was simple: "If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens." As the number of people who say they'll attend has grown past a million, there have been a number of proposals and expanded plans kicked around on a related Facebook group, and in r/memes, where about half of the posts are related to Area 51 now.
If that's too much to wade through, Know Your Meme has a recap of some of it, and the Washington Post has some more context, plus some truthbombs, including an official comment from the Air Force:
If that's too much to wade through, Know Your Meme has a recap of some of it, and the Washington Post has some more context, plus some truthbombs, including an official comment from the Air Force:
The latter part of the description references anime ninja Naruto Uzumaki, whose signature head-forward, arms-behind-the-back running technique has led some to believe it makes them run faster. (It doesn’t.)Mysterious Universe, one of the first to pick up the proposal/ meme, is cautiously optimistic:
...
Speaking with The Washington Post on Friday, Air Force spokeswoman Laura McAndrews said officials were aware of the event. When asked how authorities would respond to ardent explorers who might attempt to enter Area 51 in September, McAndrews said she could not elaborate on specific plans or security procedures at the base.
She did, however, issue a warning to those itching to try their luck.
“[Area 51] is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” McAndrews said. “The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.”
Will anyone actually show up, or is this a case of trolling or slacktivism at its finest? Judging by the fact that discussion and photos associated with the Facebook event are mostly crude jokes and memes featuring Randy Quaid from Independence Day, I have low hopes for this one. Still, I hope it actually happens – and even if it doesn’t, it certainly makes you wonder what would happen if a huge crowd could ever actually manage to coordinate an attempt to see what’s really in those hangars. Can a Facebook event make it happen?
Let’s see them aliens.
My wife is pretty sure this is a plan/ desire to "slap some alien cheeks" and she referenced not being a Kyle or Karen, which further baffled me. Know Your Meme gets into some of that, but it does help if you spend time with teenagers. My wife is a high school teacher, and she has former students as FB friends, so she sees more of these goofy memes rise and fall.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by filthy light thief at 1:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
Truly the stupidest timeline.
posted by Splunge at 1:18 PM on July 15, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by Splunge at 1:18 PM on July 15, 2019 [9 favorites]
This is how the Crusades started.
posted by Glomar response at 1:19 PM on July 15, 2019 [43 favorites]
posted by Glomar response at 1:19 PM on July 15, 2019 [43 favorites]
Like the government isn’t going to just move everything since they have so much advance notice.
Duh.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 1:21 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
Duh.
posted by Big Al 8000 at 1:21 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
If my previous experience with Facebook events is any indication, over 1 million people say they'll be there, and about seven will actually show up.
posted by tclark at 1:26 PM on July 15, 2019 [41 favorites]
posted by tclark at 1:26 PM on July 15, 2019 [41 favorites]
If nothing else, forcing the news to explain Naruto-running to the public is pretty funny.
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:27 PM on July 15, 2019 [59 favorites]
posted by GoblinHoney at 1:27 PM on July 15, 2019 [59 favorites]
I'd like to see how many of these 1 million are also flat earthers, lunar landing deniers, or investors in DogeCoin.
posted by jenkinsEar at 1:29 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by jenkinsEar at 1:29 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
"Forever in our hearts Harambe"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:30 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:30 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
For reference, Naruto runs the same weird way Tina Belcher does.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:33 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 1:33 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
My millennial kid just posted a meme: that look when millions of kids would rather storm area 51 than the fed.
Parenting win.
posted by j_curiouser at 1:37 PM on July 15, 2019 [45 favorites]
Parenting win.
posted by j_curiouser at 1:37 PM on July 15, 2019 [45 favorites]
As noted in the Facebook event page comments, try this: visit Area 51 Alien Center [a commercial business]. Drag the little yellow street view man over to Veterans Memorial Highway. See Google easter egg flying saucer.
posted by beagle at 1:38 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by beagle at 1:38 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Google Maps shortcut, for ease of trying on your own (computer -- not sure how the Streetview orangey-yellow person would appear on a smart device).
posted by filthy light thief at 1:44 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by filthy light thief at 1:44 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Is this like some kind of sublimated desire to take action against concentration camps expressed through a common language of jokes or what
posted by bleep at 1:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [20 favorites]
posted by bleep at 1:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [20 favorites]
that look when millions of kids would rather storm area 51 than the fed.
I can understand why they wouldn't want to storm the fed, but can we start with something small like register to vote or run for office in their local city/town/district.
I want to believe.
posted by Fizz at 1:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [9 favorites]
I can understand why they wouldn't want to storm the fed, but can we start with something small like register to vote or run for office in their local city/town/district.
I want to believe.
posted by Fizz at 1:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [9 favorites]
If the Air Force had a sense of humour, they'd order an airman to dress up in an alien costume, sit him at a desk just inside the perimeter with a sign saying "ACTUAL ALIEN ASK ME QUESTIONS", with the orders to just improv the snarkiest answers possible. The horde would walk up, take selfies, and walk away, satisfied. Fight memes with memes, after all.
Sadly, I think the Air Force is probably just looking at this as an opportunity for base security to work on their crowd control skills. C'est la vie.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 1:51 PM on July 15, 2019 [32 favorites]
Sadly, I think the Air Force is probably just looking at this as an opportunity for base security to work on their crowd control skills. C'est la vie.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 1:51 PM on July 15, 2019 [32 favorites]
This is silly. No idea how seriously to take it, I'm guessing not very?
I'd like to see how many of these 1 million are also flat earthers, lunar landing deniers, or investors in DogeCoin.
The one time I've been up to the best publicly-accessible vantage point, the only other people up there were some Texan wingnuts on ATVs with an 8 foot telescopic lens - they were hardcore conspiracy nuts straight out of a Linklater film.
They (the Air Force) do make a big show of quick response time at every vehicular entrance to that joint, and have easily half an hour to blockade. Can you naruto run through barbed wire?
posted by aspersioncast at 1:51 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
I'd like to see how many of these 1 million are also flat earthers, lunar landing deniers, or investors in DogeCoin.
The one time I've been up to the best publicly-accessible vantage point, the only other people up there were some Texan wingnuts on ATVs with an 8 foot telescopic lens - they were hardcore conspiracy nuts straight out of a Linklater film.
They (the Air Force) do make a big show of quick response time at every vehicular entrance to that joint, and have easily half an hour to blockade. Can you naruto run through barbed wire?
posted by aspersioncast at 1:51 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
The Area 51 Alien center is nowhere near the extraterrestrial highway or any of the actual roads into area 51. I think thay are trying to horn on on the Little Ale- Inns business.
posted by ThreeCatsBob at 1:53 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by ThreeCatsBob at 1:53 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
→ … or investors in DogeCoin.
Hey! No fair! I bought something with Dogecoin once. I think I gave the rest away.
posted by scruss at 1:53 PM on July 15, 2019
Hey! No fair! I bought something with Dogecoin once. I think I gave the rest away.
posted by scruss at 1:53 PM on July 15, 2019
A mammoth citizen invasion of a military base with the military responding with live fire and the projected subsequent fallout feels like it's a moment out of some kind of dystopian film.
Oh wait, this is reality not a dystopian film.
Yay?
posted by hippybear at 1:54 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Oh wait, this is reality not a dystopian film.
Yay?
posted by hippybear at 1:54 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Let's be honest predicting even 7 people to show up is wildly optimistic.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:57 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:57 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
Can you naruto run through barbed wire?
posted by aspersioncast at 4:51 PM on July 15 [+] [!]
Yes, but you end up as Naruto ribbons on the other side.
posted by axiom at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by aspersioncast at 4:51 PM on July 15 [+] [!]
Yes, but you end up as Naruto ribbons on the other side.
posted by axiom at 2:07 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
I expect a lot of people are going to show up just to put it on their Instagram. Kinda like Coachella.
posted by cazoo at 2:12 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by cazoo at 2:12 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
It will all work out fine, as long as you trust heavily armed government personnel to respond compassionately and with reason to a non-compliant horde. And as long as you trust the horde not to trample one another fleeing if it goes badly.
In short, holy shitballs.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
In short, holy shitballs.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
I expect a lot of people are going to show up just to put it on their Instagram. Kinda like Coachella Fyre Festival.
Fixed.
posted by Fizz at 2:16 PM on July 15, 2019 [17 favorites]
Fixed.
posted by Fizz at 2:16 PM on July 15, 2019 [17 favorites]
i came upon a child of god
he was naruto running down the road
and i asked him where are you going
and he told me
i'm going to area 51
going to join the celestial band
going to get back to the land
where we were seeded
we are stardust, we are golden
we are the matrix in the carbon
and we've got to find the lizard people in the garden
so sorry, joni ...
posted by pyramid termite at 2:17 PM on July 15, 2019 [29 favorites]
he was naruto running down the road
and i asked him where are you going
and he told me
i'm going to area 51
going to join the celestial band
going to get back to the land
where we were seeded
we are stardust, we are golden
we are the matrix in the carbon
and we've got to find the lizard people in the garden
so sorry, joni ...
posted by pyramid termite at 2:17 PM on July 15, 2019 [29 favorites]
Is this like some kind of sublimated desire to take action against concentration camps expressed through a common language of jokes or what
I mean that was my interpretation, a kind of safe cathartic release space where we all just process the unrelenting horror via just GIVE US THE ALIENS we are NOT AFRIAD TO DIE, a kind of cultural equilvent of breaking into hysterical laughter.
Just don’t be surprised when we all really do crack.
posted by The Whelk at 2:25 PM on July 15, 2019 [18 favorites]
I mean that was my interpretation, a kind of safe cathartic release space where we all just process the unrelenting horror via just GIVE US THE ALIENS we are NOT AFRIAD TO DIE, a kind of cultural equilvent of breaking into hysterical laughter.
Just don’t be surprised when we all really do crack.
posted by The Whelk at 2:25 PM on July 15, 2019 [18 favorites]
My millennial kid just posted a meme: that look when millions of kids would rather storm area 51 than the fed.
Parenting win.
I don't know, that sounds like some proto GOOGLE RON PAUL stuff. Not sure what storming the Fed is meant to mean or achieve.
Keep an eye on this kid, watch for mentions of the Gold Standard.
posted by Sangermaine at 2:32 PM on July 15, 2019 [6 favorites]
Parenting win.
I don't know, that sounds like some proto GOOGLE RON PAUL stuff. Not sure what storming the Fed is meant to mean or achieve.
Keep an eye on this kid, watch for mentions of the Gold Standard.
posted by Sangermaine at 2:32 PM on July 15, 2019 [6 favorites]
Metafilter: a kind of safe cathartic release space where we all just process the unrelenting horror
posted by dephlogisticated at 2:39 PM on July 15, 2019 [24 favorites]
posted by dephlogisticated at 2:39 PM on July 15, 2019 [24 favorites]
Keep an eye on this kid, watch for mentions of the Gold Standard.
I guess the point is, at least the fed is a *real thing* that warrants political concern. Probably not "storm the barricades"-worthy...yet.
The kids have a legit interest.
posted by j_curiouser at 2:41 PM on July 15, 2019
I guess the point is, at least the fed is a *real thing* that warrants political concern. Probably not "storm the barricades"-worthy...yet.
The kids have a legit interest.
posted by j_curiouser at 2:41 PM on July 15, 2019
I really hope no one shows up (or least no one shows up who is stupid enough to try this / everyone who shows up just wants to sit around, drink beer, and talk smack about aliens).
We've seen too many photos of people avoidably dying in south west deserts recently (i.e >=1 photo) - and this would be an avoidable tragedy if it happens again, and you just know some young kid is going to "go large" and get themselves shot or lost and die of thirst.
In any sane timeline, we'd see someone in the administration find the right combination of "we get the joke, here's some neat social media/IRL response to play along and let you know we hear you and we are prepared to get meme'd about it in good nature" with some additional hard facts or additional transparency, within reason, to be responsive to its citizens about what happens out there. Of course you are never going to satisfy the true Alien believers - but trying to mob raid a military base in a vast, exposed, desert is just not a good idea.
we can move faster than their bullets
This assumes they respond with bullets and not crowd control weapons (non-lethal audio, visual weaponry etc), or if things were super serious large scale lethal weaponry. Let alone existing anti-personal traps/mines etc.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 2:47 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
We've seen too many photos of people avoidably dying in south west deserts recently (i.e >=1 photo) - and this would be an avoidable tragedy if it happens again, and you just know some young kid is going to "go large" and get themselves shot or lost and die of thirst.
In any sane timeline, we'd see someone in the administration find the right combination of "we get the joke, here's some neat social media/IRL response to play along and let you know we hear you and we are prepared to get meme'd about it in good nature" with some additional hard facts or additional transparency, within reason, to be responsive to its citizens about what happens out there. Of course you are never going to satisfy the true Alien believers - but trying to mob raid a military base in a vast, exposed, desert is just not a good idea.
we can move faster than their bullets
This assumes they respond with bullets and not crowd control weapons (non-lethal audio, visual weaponry etc), or if things were super serious large scale lethal weaponry. Let alone existing anti-personal traps/mines etc.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 2:47 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
My take on this is: IF there are any extraterrestrials housed at Area 51, it's most likely because they want to be there and the last thing they'd want is to be dragged into the outside world where they'd be treated like sideshow freaks. There's a high probability they would be there voluntarily and wish to be left alone, and considering this would have been set up soon after WWII, then the American Powers That Be wanted them to be treated far better than the Internment Camp residents. Of course it would take a lot less than the number who've signed up for this to rescue the residents of our current Concentration Camps...
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:50 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:50 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
Remember when the Wall came down and the the rumor was that among the crowd storming Stasi headquarters was a team of CIA agents with orders to locate and secure all the important stuff?
All I'm saying is, if you're storming thecastle military installation and you end up next to a guy with a heavy Russian accent who says his name is Ken but he looks like a Yuri, follow that guy.
posted by madajb at 2:57 PM on July 15, 2019 [17 favorites]
All I'm saying is, if you're storming the
posted by madajb at 2:57 PM on July 15, 2019 [17 favorites]
Also, whenever I hear this sort of social media trend with any sort of anti-government sentiment or which seeks to foment dissent or this sort of physical activity, now all I can think of is "which third party actor/nation state started, or is hijacking/will hijack this, to influence the population/election/policy".
Which is fucking horrible, as there are so many good social media driven campaigns for real causes out there. Ugh.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 3:04 PM on July 15, 2019 [7 favorites]
Which is fucking horrible, as there are so many good social media driven campaigns for real causes out there. Ugh.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 3:04 PM on July 15, 2019 [7 favorites]
If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets.
Except they'd be running directly at the bullets.
posted by Mitheral at 3:17 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Except they'd be running directly at the bullets.
posted by Mitheral at 3:17 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
ok, look, before we go any further: how pumped-up are their kicks?
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:23 PM on July 15, 2019 [16 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:23 PM on July 15, 2019 [16 favorites]
I really can't see this as anything more than a lighthearted troll? I take it about as seriously as when 46,000 people were going to shoot at Hurricane Irma, or 30,000 people became actual potatoes.
I predict a handful of crazies, a half dozen YouTubers (who will carpool together), and maybe 1-2 townies. And zero violence or legitimate attempts at getting in.
posted by matrixclown at 3:35 PM on July 15, 2019 [5 favorites]
I predict a handful of crazies, a half dozen YouTubers (who will carpool together), and maybe 1-2 townies. And zero violence or legitimate attempts at getting in.
posted by matrixclown at 3:35 PM on July 15, 2019 [5 favorites]
All I'm saying is, if you're storming the castle military installation and you end up next to a guy with a heavy Russian accent who says his name is Ken but he looks like a Yuri, follow that guy.
[thick Russian accent]
“Kawaii desu. I am, how you say, ‘weeaboo’, yes? Now we run like Naruto and see alien.”
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:42 PM on July 15, 2019 [13 favorites]
[thick Russian accent]
“Kawaii desu. I am, how you say, ‘weeaboo’, yes? Now we run like Naruto and see alien.”
posted by dephlogisticated at 3:42 PM on July 15, 2019 [13 favorites]
This whole alien meme thing has been bothering me for about a month now. I texted a friend a few weeks ago, "What's up with all the alien memes?" and I feel like I've seen more animated twerking aliens and references to Area 51 in the past month online than I have in the rest of my internet time combined. It seems deeply weird to me that this is happening at the exact same time that we have a bunch of actual people being held in cages in this country, many of them also in the Southwest? I guess movies about aliens and alien invasions tell us a lot about public sentiment around questions of governance, identity, xenophobia, borders, 'the other,' etc., so (to echo bleep above) I suppose it's only natural that this meme is viral right now.
posted by sockermom at 3:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by sockermom at 3:45 PM on July 15, 2019 [4 favorites]
animated twerking aliens
Welp, there's a phrase I can't unread . . .
posted by soundguy99 at 4:03 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
Welp, there's a phrase I can't unread . . .
posted by soundguy99 at 4:03 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
If they really wanted to get into a secure military facility, it's super easy. You just get a bunch of white men together, dud them up with body armor, helmets, and AR-15s (and maybe a tiki torch or nine), announce that you think the aliens are "illegals" and you'll get a police escort and enthusiastic media coverage.
Game recognizes game.
posted by stet at 4:05 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
Game recognizes game.
posted by stet at 4:05 PM on July 15, 2019 [8 favorites]
Yes, I'm so glad there are some people picking up on the alien metaphor here. I stumbled into this memery a few days ago (weirdly via an obscure zelda character's RP tumblr's OOC posts) and immediately my brain connected the zeitgeist anxiety dots. There's something about this being on Facebook, too, that's like, show-don't-tell at the parents?
Anyway I'm curious about how aliens fit into the monster cycle of vampire/werewolf/zombie. Like, I'd been waiting for vampires to come back into vogue and see what fascinating sublimated desires would be pasted onto them this time, but this is good too. Life is so fucking baffling these days, we all need good stories to make sense of our feelings.
posted by Mizu at 4:07 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
Anyway I'm curious about how aliens fit into the monster cycle of vampire/werewolf/zombie. Like, I'd been waiting for vampires to come back into vogue and see what fascinating sublimated desires would be pasted onto them this time, but this is good too. Life is so fucking baffling these days, we all need good stories to make sense of our feelings.
posted by Mizu at 4:07 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
If the Air Force had a sense of humour, they'd order an airman to dress up in an alien costume, sit him at a desk just inside the perimeter with a sign saying "ACTUAL ALIEN ASK ME QUESTIONS", with the orders to just improv the snarkiest answers possible.
Triumph the Insult Comic Extraterrestrial!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:40 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
Triumph the Insult Comic Extraterrestrial!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:40 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
I guess movies about aliens and alien invasions tell us a lot about public sentiment around questions of governance, identity, xenophobia, borders, 'the other,' etc.
Viz. District 9.
posted by aspersioncast at 4:41 PM on July 15, 2019
Viz. District 9.
posted by aspersioncast at 4:41 PM on July 15, 2019
Well, UFOs have been in the news quite a lot lately, the Air Force has commented about it prior to this meme even.
posted by Apocryphon at 4:45 PM on July 15, 2019
posted by Apocryphon at 4:45 PM on July 15, 2019
The military wouldn't respond with live fire. They would respond with water and tear gas.
posted by Brocktoon at 5:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by Brocktoon at 5:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
If the Air Force had a sense of humour, they'd order an airman to dress up in an alien costume, sit him at a desk just inside the perimeter with a sign saying "ACTUAL ALIEN ASK ME QUESTIONS"
"EARTH IS FUCKED.
CHANGE MY MIND!"
posted by UltraMorgnus at 5:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [12 favorites]
"EARTH IS FUCKED.
CHANGE MY MIND!"
posted by UltraMorgnus at 5:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [12 favorites]
Doofi, Naruto doesn't make you run faster... Except when you're carrying a sword in one or both hands. A combination of not having to pump that extra weight back and forth and that the extra weight reduces the amount of swing needed to balance the body while running for efficiency's sake and then the extra weight moved to the back so the rest of the body can lean forward more and having your weapons in a predictable location when it's time to use them vs them being in the wrong position to strike when you reach your target.
I want to see tests involving a sword in each hand and slicing through a makiwara at the finish line.
posted by zengargoyle at 6:02 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
I want to see tests involving a sword in each hand and slicing through a makiwara at the finish line.
posted by zengargoyle at 6:02 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
"EARTH IS FUCKED.
CHANGE MY MIND!"
Photoshop an alien onto that folding table on campus and post it, dude. You'll be swimming in karma by morning.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 6:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
CHANGE MY MIND!"
Photoshop an alien onto that folding table on campus and post it, dude. You'll be swimming in karma by morning.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 6:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [2 favorites]
I’m just annoyed this event is more than 30 days away so this thread will be closed by then.
posted by bigbigdog at 7:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by bigbigdog at 7:14 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
You can make a new post with the results!
If Canada Post can reply to children's letters to Santa, and NORAD can track Santa on Xmas eve, why not have airmen costumed up as Greys?
It could be like being in the military band, extra pay, promotions based on performance...
posted by porpoise at 7:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
If Canada Post can reply to children's letters to Santa, and NORAD can track Santa on Xmas eve, why not have airmen costumed up as Greys?
It could be like being in the military band, extra pay, promotions based on performance...
posted by porpoise at 7:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
I poked the perimeters of A51 when X Files was a thing. They don't fuck around with security.
posted by Camofrog at 8:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by Camofrog at 8:13 PM on July 15, 2019 [3 favorites]
When I first heard of this, I was amused. But then it became an interesting thought problem to think about. How to break into that base. First, no ATV within 20 miles at least. They'd see you coming for miles. Infared sensors ? Go in during the daytime in the summer. Night time? hmmm. Fence? Dig under, don't make a hole in the fence. Only move very slowly during the day time. Wear a desert equivalent to a gillie suit. I thought about this since I first heard of this a couple of days ago. I still haven't figured out about what to do if there are pressure sensors buried.
But it's a big area, and since people seeking asylum can slip across the border fairly easily, I doubt they can protect the whole base. And if bunches of people show up at the front gate (or whatever they have), the back side will not be as well guarded.
posted by baegucb at 8:16 PM on July 15, 2019
But it's a big area, and since people seeking asylum can slip across the border fairly easily, I doubt they can protect the whole base. And if bunches of people show up at the front gate (or whatever they have), the back side will not be as well guarded.
posted by baegucb at 8:16 PM on July 15, 2019
"people seeking asylum can slip across the border fairly easily" sorry. It's not easy across the desert SW, except to the GOP.
posted by baegucb at 8:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by baegucb at 8:36 PM on July 15, 2019 [5 favorites]
Well, sure, but it's not a good day for me: September 20 is the day adults are invited to join the climate strike
posted by lipservant at 8:44 PM on July 15, 2019
posted by lipservant at 8:44 PM on July 15, 2019
But then it became an interesting thought problem to think about. How to break into that base.
Even thinking about it gives me the sweats. Aside from being an insanely dangerous thing to do, you literally are going up against an entity who will have war gamed all kinds of nation-state level threat actor activities (I mean It literally is where the future of warfare is tested - this isn’t their first dance at the disco) and may have defenses that you just can’t prepare for or even anticipate. Off the top of my head, things that would stress me out without even knowing if they exist or are in use:
- GPS blockers/manipulators (to prevent GPS guided munitions working - but the side effect being the little hand held GPS you were relying on goes haywire and you end up walking in circles in the desert)
- Satellite overpass imagery to detect you
- Fake cell towers to pick up any cell phone signals from your phone and identify you miles before you even get near to the perimeter
- EMF protection against drones, but it screws with any electronics you have
- All sorts of thermal imaging / audio / motion sensors that you never know about until you get picked off from 500 yards
- Fucking self healing moving minefields
- Armed drones or automated armed “turrets”
- The list goes on
If you want to see the Aliens get yourself and others elected into congress and drive transparency and open government. It actually may be easier than getting into the base.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 9:49 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
Even thinking about it gives me the sweats. Aside from being an insanely dangerous thing to do, you literally are going up against an entity who will have war gamed all kinds of nation-state level threat actor activities (I mean It literally is where the future of warfare is tested - this isn’t their first dance at the disco) and may have defenses that you just can’t prepare for or even anticipate. Off the top of my head, things that would stress me out without even knowing if they exist or are in use:
- GPS blockers/manipulators (to prevent GPS guided munitions working - but the side effect being the little hand held GPS you were relying on goes haywire and you end up walking in circles in the desert)
- Satellite overpass imagery to detect you
- Fake cell towers to pick up any cell phone signals from your phone and identify you miles before you even get near to the perimeter
- EMF protection against drones, but it screws with any electronics you have
- All sorts of thermal imaging / audio / motion sensors that you never know about until you get picked off from 500 yards
- Fucking self healing moving minefields
- Armed drones or automated armed “turrets”
- The list goes on
If you want to see the Aliens get yourself and others elected into congress and drive transparency and open government. It actually may be easier than getting into the base.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 9:49 PM on July 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
To be clear to anyone actually confused here: it’s 100% taking the piss, and it actually gave me a brief moment of Dadaist glee to trip across it on FB last week—a nice feeling quickly dispelled by scrolling through the comments on the event page, where its then-burgeoning popularity had already drawn a thousand joyless bootlickers to flood it with memes about how cool it will be when all these Stupid Millennials are righteously gunned down by the mighty weapons of the glorious American military when they try to storm the base and I remembered we can’t have anything fun or playful anymore in this accursed hellworld
posted by churl at 10:33 PM on July 15, 2019 [18 favorites]
posted by churl at 10:33 PM on July 15, 2019 [18 favorites]
UFOs are one conspiracy theory that Trump doesn't buy
We have a little over two months to convince a critical mass of Republicans that the Deep State is keeping Hillary's emails hidden at Area 51. Once Trump is on board, the rest will follow.
posted by saysthis at 12:05 AM on July 16, 2019
We have a little over two months to convince a critical mass of Republicans that the Deep State is keeping Hillary's emails hidden at Area 51. Once Trump is on board, the rest will follow.
posted by saysthis at 12:05 AM on July 16, 2019
I want to believe.
I want to leave!
Seriously. Alien craft lands in front of me and if they're playing some proper dub/house/techno and they nod at me like "Get in, loser", I'm out of here. They don't even have to say hello. We will know each other by the dub.
Hey space/time/whatever visitors? If you hear this I can DJ forever, I know how to roll the best fatties and I can cook some really good Earth food. Let's party.
posted by loquacious at 12:49 AM on July 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
I want to leave!
Seriously. Alien craft lands in front of me and if they're playing some proper dub/house/techno and they nod at me like "Get in, loser", I'm out of here. They don't even have to say hello. We will know each other by the dub.
Hey space/time/whatever visitors? If you hear this I can DJ forever, I know how to roll the best fatties and I can cook some really good Earth food. Let's party.
posted by loquacious at 12:49 AM on July 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
Also, side note in the memeosphere:
This has been popping up with variations in wild and weird places like trans humor subreddits and the going theme there is "Aliens!? To hell with that, let us see that alien sex change machine that we know is in there!" (paraphrased.)
posted by loquacious at 12:52 AM on July 16, 2019
This has been popping up with variations in wild and weird places like trans humor subreddits and the going theme there is "Aliens!? To hell with that, let us see that alien sex change machine that we know is in there!" (paraphrased.)
posted by loquacious at 12:52 AM on July 16, 2019
can we start with something small like register to vote or Naruto run for office
Fixed that for you.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:27 AM on July 16, 2019 [3 favorites]
Fixed that for you.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:27 AM on July 16, 2019 [3 favorites]
... Charges have always been effective for their psychological impact. Look back to the tactics of medieval heavy cavalry and we can see that it was the psychological, not the physical quality of the charge which was most important. Infantry could always stop cavalry--a horse won't run onto a spear point--but they usually didn't, because when an armoured knight is bearing down on you the instinct is to flee, and that's what they usually did.
There are a few factors which made charging less useful going into the early modern period. The introduction of matchlock muskets and the adoption of the pike as the ubiquitous infantry weapon at the end of the 15th century really turned the tide against heavy cavalry for good--they could be shot down with ease, and made little impression against blocks of pikemen, who were increasingly well-trained and capable of holding their formations....
Very interesting read here, but I didn't want to quote 6 or more paragraphs. It seems that with the discipline and technology that the AF MPs guarding Area 51 surely possess, the mass naruto run would not be an effective tactic.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 3:01 AM on July 16, 2019
There are a few factors which made charging less useful going into the early modern period. The introduction of matchlock muskets and the adoption of the pike as the ubiquitous infantry weapon at the end of the 15th century really turned the tide against heavy cavalry for good--they could be shot down with ease, and made little impression against blocks of pikemen, who were increasingly well-trained and capable of holding their formations....
Very interesting read here, but I didn't want to quote 6 or more paragraphs. It seems that with the discipline and technology that the AF MPs guarding Area 51 surely possess, the mass naruto run would not be an effective tactic.
posted by Hal Mumkin at 3:01 AM on July 16, 2019
> whose signature head-forward, arms-behind-the-back running technique has led some to believe it makes them run faster. (It doesn’t.)
A common mistake. The thrown back arms are a result of the enhanced running speed, not a cause.
posted by lucidium at 3:21 AM on July 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
A common mistake. The thrown back arms are a result of the enhanced running speed, not a cause.
posted by lucidium at 3:21 AM on July 16, 2019 [5 favorites]
If the Air Force had a sense of humour, they'd order an airman to dress up in an alien costume, sit him at a desk just inside the perimeter with a sign saying "ACTUAL ALIEN ASK ME QUESTIONS"
I feel like most of the comments here are focused more on the lulz, and less on what the military will do to stop an organized insurgency from storming a military installation. The pullquote you need is right there in the summary at the top:
posted by Mayor West at 5:33 AM on July 16, 2019
I feel like most of the comments here are focused more on the lulz, and less on what the military will do to stop an organized insurgency from storming a military installation. The pullquote you need is right there in the summary at the top:
“[Area 51] is an open training range for the U.S. Air Force, and we would discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces,” McAndrews said. “The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.”The military (and the Air Force in particular) is not known for their gentle sense of humor. Maybe I'm extra sensitive to the language because I grew up in a military household, but that very understated sentence directly translates to "if we think there's any chance of a mob getting past the security checkpoint, we'll kill you where you stand." If a dozen people show up and try to get in, they'll probably be arrested peacefully. If 500 people show up and attempt entry, people are going to be killed by the countermeasures. The fact that half a million people have signed up for it (even though we all know just for the memes), means that they're probably installing machine gun nests and laying landmines as we speak.
posted by Mayor West at 5:33 AM on July 16, 2019
With all this Naruto-style running around going on, why is no one asking the patent office about the Chinese threat as noted here?
The power supply for such claimed awesomeness would be worthy of seeing, no?
(For those of you invoking Trump - be careful what you ask for. If the kinds of things noted in the patent exist putting it into the civilian market would mean a sky-high stock market thus making 4 more Trump years a shoe-in.)
posted by rough ashlar at 6:26 AM on July 16, 2019
The power supply for such claimed awesomeness would be worthy of seeing, no?
(For those of you invoking Trump - be careful what you ask for. If the kinds of things noted in the patent exist putting it into the civilian market would mean a sky-high stock market thus making 4 more Trump years a shoe-in.)
posted by rough ashlar at 6:26 AM on July 16, 2019
To be clear to anyone actually confused here: it’s 100% taking the piss
To any rational person sure, and this could all be trolling and for the lulz. But yet from the New York Times....
To any rational person sure, and this could all be trolling and for the lulz. But yet from the New York Times....
But as it turns out, some people may be taking the event seriously. The Little A’Le’Inn in Rachel, Nev., which is close to Area 51, has gotten an unusually high number of reservations for a certain date.posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:29 AM on July 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
“Oh, it’s insane,” Connie West, a co-owner of the inn, said in an interview on Sunday. “My poor bartender today walked past me and said, ‘I hate to tell you, but every phone call I’ve had is about Sept. 20.’”
She added that many people had mentioned the Facebook post when they called to reserve the inn’s rooms and recreational vehicles, all of which are now booked for that date — even though the Facebook post invited people to Amargosa Valley, which is hours away from the Little A’Le’Inn by car, and on the opposite side of Area 51.
“They’re pretty serious,” Ms. West said. “They’re coming. People are coming.”
I stayed at the Little A'Le'Inn with my wife and kids one time.....damn was it funky. But they had a VHS player in the room.
posted by ergomatic at 12:38 PM on July 16, 2019
posted by ergomatic at 12:38 PM on July 16, 2019
I want to point out that people became neo-Nazis for the lulz as well. This is totally going to happen.
I mean, they're not going to see any aliens, because Area 51 is and was a stealth bomber testing facility and they told people they had alien spacecraft as a cover.
posted by Merus at 4:10 PM on July 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
I mean, they're not going to see any aliens, because Area 51 is and was a stealth bomber testing facility and they told people they had alien spacecraft as a cover.
posted by Merus at 4:10 PM on July 16, 2019 [2 favorites]
Seriously. Alien craft lands in front of me and if they're playing some proper dub/house/techno and they nod at me like "Get in, loser", I'm out of here. They don't even have to say hello. We will know each other by the dub.
Sorry, everybody knows aliens only play polyrhythmic synth jazz. It’s dance kryptonite.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:16 PM on July 16, 2019
Sorry, everybody knows aliens only play polyrhythmic synth jazz. It’s dance kryptonite.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 5:16 PM on July 16, 2019
Lil Nas X has an Area 51 remix of Old Town Road.
posted by peeedro at 8:15 PM on July 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by peeedro at 8:15 PM on July 17, 2019 [1 favorite]
To be clear to anyone actually confused here: it’s 100% taking the piss
So were several instances of modern Flat Earth Societies, initially. I admire your misguided optimism.
Of course, the most likely outcome is that a few dozen people end up getting rescued by the military because they forgot to bring enough water with them into the desert.
posted by Wandering Idiot at 10:14 PM on July 17, 2019
So were several instances of modern Flat Earth Societies, initially. I admire your misguided optimism.
Of course, the most likely outcome is that a few dozen people end up getting rescued by the military because they forgot to bring enough water with them into the desert.
posted by Wandering Idiot at 10:14 PM on July 17, 2019
Sorry, everybody knows aliens only play polyrhythmic synth jazz. It’s dance kryptonite.
According to my sources those are the aliens you don't want to meet. They also like Rush, Tool and surprise butt probing.
The aliens that play minimal dub techno have a better culture of consent and better drugs. They're still weirdly into butt stuff they'll ask first.
posted by loquacious at 4:16 PM on July 19, 2019 [3 favorites]
According to my sources those are the aliens you don't want to meet. They also like Rush, Tool and surprise butt probing.
The aliens that play minimal dub techno have a better culture of consent and better drugs. They're still weirdly into butt stuff they'll ask first.
posted by loquacious at 4:16 PM on July 19, 2019 [3 favorites]
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