Comments on: Comments on 18259

Post number 18259

ncurley — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 06:45:25 -0800

Fake Harry Potter novel hits China. An anonymous Chinese author has decided JK Rowling is taking too long to write the fifth book - so has written a new adventure to satisfy the huge Potter market in the country, according to a report in The Times. Harry Potter And Leopard Walk Up To Dragon, on sale in Beijing street markets for about £1, is selling fast to the dismay of the publisher of the genuine Potter books in China.

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 07:48:32 -0800

The book begins with the lines: "Harry doesn't know how long it will take to wash the sticky cream cake off his face. Good God, that's funny. If anyone knows how I can get my hands on a copy of this title, please, oh please, let me know.

By: asok

asok — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 08:07:48 -0800

how terrible! this book is an insult to all real potter fans. 'If anyone knows how I can get my hands on a copy of this title, please, oh please, let me know.' me too! and, er, translate it into english, if it isn't in english already, please.

By: adampsyche

adampsyche — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 08:20:13 -0800

Does he finally get busy with Cho Chang?

By: sugarfish

sugarfish — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 10:57:52 -0800

dude, it's like fan fiction gone legit! and i want one. so bad.

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 11:28:25 -0800

I have been searching online all morning. No luck so far. Anyone? Anyone? we need a copy of this.

By: jaden

jaden — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 11:43:36 -0800

With lines like these, this guy is going to put J.K. Rowling out of business. He lies in the high-quality china bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dali's face, which is as fat as the bottom of Aunt Penny.

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 11:51:53 -0800

I know! I can't wait to read the whole thing. I hope he does weird stuff with his broom and owl.

By: ( .)(. )

( .)(. ) — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 13:04:48 -0800

Some more excerpts:

After Harry is turned into a dwarf: "Harry is only half as tall as a normal person and he has a beard. In fact, he no longer possesses much sorcery now. He has a big belly and his clothes are in gay colours (mainly yellow and green). He doesn't wear shoes since he has a thick layer of brown hair on his feet. When Harry woke up like this he was so astonished that he almost cried. But at once he realised he was a man now, and an accomplished wizard. He must not be afraid of difficulties. He was determined to find the criminal who turned him into a dwarf." And later: "Harry was quite scared. Now the balance of power between the adventurers and treasure seekers was 5:9. He obviously did not hold the advantage. He hid the jewel in his bag in which he usually put his magic tools. He knew clearly what would happen if the jewel was found by the treasure seekers. He didn't admit that the jewel was in his hands. Germor (the dragon) ran at Harry fiercely and showed his teeth, long and thin, like army knives. Harry dived at Germor and stabbed the dagger into his head. At once a stream of black blood spattered on the ground as if it was raining. Germor's tail swung viciously from side to side and Harry was almost hurt. Before Harry flew up Germor turned. Harry saw his face and found the two bulb-like yellow eyes of Germor were all blind. One was stabbed by mother's wooden hairpin, another by his dagger. Without eyes, Germor could not find his target. He didn't know what he should do, but he was still dangerous. Germor blindly ran to Harry and Harry raised the bleeding sword high. He used all his strength, stabbed the short sword into the upper jaw of Germor till the whole length of the sword was in Germor's mouth."

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 13:13:25 -0800

He used all his strength, stabbed the short sword into the upper jaw of Germor till the whole length of the sword was in Germor's mouth." Not only is it fan fiction, it's NAUGHTY fan fiction. This is going to sell like crazy on Ebay.

By: pikachulolita

pikachulolita — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 15:31:30 -0800

do harry and draco finally get it on? cos that's the harry potter book i've been waiting for.

By: chrisege

chrisege — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 16:48:18 -0800

do harry and draco finally get it on? cos that's the harry potter book i've been waiting for. yeah, several times. creepy.

By: timyang

timyang — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 19:00:13 -0800

Are you sure you guys want this book? It's written in Mandarin! You're not going to understand it.

By: betobeto

betobeto — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 20:39:34 -0800

Well, no surprise this coming from China. For better or worse, it's the same guys who flood our markets with fake versions of anything else under the surface of the planet to be sold at dirt cheap prices. No racist overtones here, you know. It's just matters of fact.

By: spidre

spidre — Sat, 06 Jul 2002 21:52:28 -0800

hehehe. this is hilarious. at least he's anonymous and gets no royalty fees. or at least I don't think he does? I'm not a fan of harry potter, and i only went to see the movie for the visual imagery, but otherwise this is not my cup of tea. Now Isaac Asimov... Ben Bova... Stephan Baxter... *giggles with utter delight* *SmAcK* Sorry... got off track for a minute...