The Big Book of Sign Language (from rotten.com).

July 9, 2002 10:41 AM

The Big Book of Sign Language (from rotten.com). Have you ever wondered how to sign phrases such as "I shovel shit all day long", "I want to pull the shrieking voices from my head and smoosh them", and "Unlock my legs and get it over with"? The Big Book shows you how. Inappropriate? Yes. Hysterical? Yes. (Portions may not be safe for work. Link via Magnetbox. Thanks, ben.)
posted by moz (29 comments total)

hahahahahahahaha


hahahahah
I GRABBED THE HOOKER BY HER HAIR
Angry "clamping" of fist followed by three or four violent shakes.

ugh


HAHAHA
posted by vito90 at 10:54 AM on July 9, 2002

In case any of you plan on using these in your next conversation with a hearing impared person, you ougt to know these are real commonly used signs, that translate as nothing even close to what the author says they do.
posted by KnitWit at 10:54 AM on July 9, 2002

Yeah, that's hilarious. Making fun of another language without any attempt to understand it. Christ, they couldn't even draw their own fucking pictures! They took real sign language and mocked it. Next, can we find some Asian websites with bad English and make fun of them? Please?
posted by starvingartist at 10:54 AM on July 9, 2002

Yeah, that's hilarious. Making fun of another language without any attempt to understand it. Christ, they couldn't even draw their own fucking pictures! They took real sign language and mocked it.

well, seeing as how the whole point is irreverant parody, that makes sense to me starvingartist. not all of the pictures were funny, but i laughed. maybe that reduces me to scum before your eyes, but what can i do?
posted by moz at 11:06 AM on July 9, 2002

well, uh, i thought it was funny.

i guess that makes me an uncouth, unfeeling bastard, but, eh, whattayagonnado?

also: language confusion is a longstanding comedy tradition.

(could I have linked something other than monty python? maybe. maybe.)
posted by fishfucker at 11:06 AM on July 9, 2002

Sorry, moz. I don't see it as irrereverent parody. I see it as cruel and malicious. It's from rotten.com, for cryin out loud! And I don't think you're scum. I just think you have a rotten sense of humor. I just don't think this is funny. And I certainly don't think it's worth a front page post.
posted by starvingartist at 11:08 AM on July 9, 2002

To really learn some naughty words, go to a Blink182 concert, where I saw a woman translating their lyrics into sign-language.
posted by MJoachim at 11:10 AM on July 9, 2002

HERE'S WHAT I THINK OF YOUR OPINION
(1) Fingers pluck invisible dust particle from the air and (2) "flick" particle at the ground.

Best damn thing I've seen in a long time. And useful, too!
posted by yhbc at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2002

I WOULD LIKE ONE COCK
(1) Hold up index finger to indicate single digit, then (2) make letter C.

I PREFER TWO COCKS
Double clenched fists bracket and twist either side of face, cheeks puffed out.

I'D ENJOY AN ENORMOUS HORSE COCK
Both hands strain to wrangle an imaginary penis with the circumference of a coffee can.

LET'S KNOCK OUR COCKS TOGETHER
Forefingers of opposing hands bonk together repeatedly, bending knuckles.

Call me a child, but that shit's funny.
posted by ColdChef at 11:11 AM on July 9, 2002

WHOOP-DEE-DOO I'M PREGNANT
Index finger spins in series of quick, tight circles.

Heh.
posted by ColdChef at 11:13 AM on July 9, 2002

I don't think it is funny. However, I also don't think it cruel or malicious. Perhaps it would be funny if I used sign. Having spent time in Japan, I think this is funny.
posted by rotifer at 11:43 AM on July 9, 2002

The "I Work At Wal-Mart" one was painfully hilarious. Thanks moz.
posted by jonmc at 11:50 AM on July 9, 2002

Gooders:
I Got an Abortion for Christmas
Lackluster Handjob
Soon I'll be Darth Vader
posted by brittney at 12:16 PM on July 9, 2002

I'm about to run over to my boss and try out the "I have carpal tunnel syndrome and would like to go home for the day."
posted by adampsyche at 12:22 PM on July 9, 2002

I bet you 5 bucks that Matt is going to delete this thread

I mean, rotten.com
posted by matteo at 12:24 PM on July 9, 2002

starvingartist: I just don't think this is funny. And I certainly don't think it's worth a front page post.

I refer you to this MetaTalk thread, entitled "I'm bothered that some people seem to think they should control the content of this site to their liking."

It was posted on July 24, 2001 by starvinga--oh, wait...
posted by Danelope at 12:26 PM on July 9, 2002

I bet you 5 bucks that Matt is going to delete this thread

I mean, rotten.com

As much as I lament that rotten.com is making the front page here (but what can you expect after Consumption Junction was linked?), that was very funny.
posted by adampsyche at 12:29 PM on July 9, 2002

I bet you 5 bucks that Matt is going to delete this thread

I mean, rotten.com

YOUR MOUTH'S A-FLAPPIN' BUT I'M NOT A-LISTENING
Back of hand strikes mouth repeatedly to indicate annoying, repetitive discussion. Accompanied by dull, unenthusiastic stare.
posted by yhbc at 12:36 PM on July 9, 2002

i usually follow 'i shovel shit all day' with 'glug glug glug glug.'

very funny, moz. :)
posted by sugarfish at 12:37 PM on July 9, 2002

Oh hey look! I'm a hypocrite! The only one on Metafilter! Holy shit!

I have close friends who are deaf. I love sign language. It's a beautiful, complex language. Deaf people get shat on a lot. I didn't think it was funny. Sue me.
posted by starvingartist at 12:44 PM on July 9, 2002

Deaf people get shat on a lot.

Because they can't hear people squatting above them? Dude. I had no idea.
posted by ColdChef at 12:57 PM on July 9, 2002

Deaf people get shat on a lot.

Because they can't hear people squatting above them? Dude. I had no idea.


OK, tell me again this thread is worth preserving and will make the community look good to a possible new reader/user
posted by matteo at 1:10 PM on July 9, 2002

OK, tell me again this thread is worth preserving and will make the community look good to a possible new reader/user

Oh, dear. I had no idea that this was what we were supposed to be doing. Sorry about that.

Dear new reader/user,
We're not usually like this. I apologize.
Lovingly, this has been
posted by ColdChef at 1:18 PM on July 9, 2002

Ah, ColdChef -

SMACK SMACK SHUT UP
Sequential back-palm strikes meant to illustrate troubled relationship.
posted by yhbc at 1:29 PM on July 9, 2002

OK, tell me again this thread is worth preserving and will make the community look good to a possible new reader/user

it seems like it's gotten a few laughs, and that's good i think. maybe the thread won't make metafilter look good to everyone, but what does?
posted by moz at 1:34 PM on July 9, 2002

DON'T BE SQUARE, DADDY-O
Enormous rectangular outline made in personal space. (Considered extremely offensive)
posted by ColdChef at 1:35 PM on July 9, 2002

It's hip to be square
posted by matteo at 1:48 PM on July 9, 2002

I showed this to one of my deaf friends and he thought it was hilarious. Of course, he is the same guy who told a bunch of wrong gestures to a math teacher for his personal amusement. It is rather amusing watching a teacher use what she thinks is 'cylinder' and is actually 'masterbation'. If you combine all the ones he taught her, story problems start sounding like south park episodes.
posted by nickonomicon at 3:09 PM on July 9, 2002

I WANT TO PULL THE SHRIEKING VOICES FROM MY HEAD AND SMOOSH THEM.
posted by Down10 at 7:08 PM on July 12, 2002