July 11, 2002

12:32 PM

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution's Vent: A collection of readers' responses to news stories. Funny, stupid, silly, odd, thoughtful non sequiturs. Updated daily.
posted by ColdChef (22 comments total)

My favorite so far?

As an employer, I love earrings and tattoos. It tells me up front that a potential employee is rebellious and lacks good common sense.

Or

Don't make your 30-year high school reunion a family affair unless it won't bother you if your former classmates start hitting on your kids.
posted by ColdChef at 12:34 PM on July 11, 2002

I love the Vent. It used to be the highlight of my mornings when I lived in Atlanta. There's a Vent book that's very funny too.
posted by mariko at 12:38 PM on July 11, 2002

Classic. Thanks, CC. I liked this one:

I work for a trash pickup company and the other day one of our drivers was held up at gunpoint in Atlanta. Either that is a really tough neighborhood or the economy is awful.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:52 PM on July 11, 2002

Vox populi as it should be: in extremely small doses. Before you've decided whether it's worth reading, you've read it already. It's like Harper's Index without the jokes. Or depression. In fact it's nothing like Harper's Index, but in the right way.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 12:54 PM on July 11, 2002

Never use that Raid country fresh roach spray as an underarm deodorant. Trust me on this one.

When did it become acceptable to wear pajamas and slippers to the grocery store?

Beer may make your bones stronger, but it is also a major cause of broken bones.

I can't stop. I love these.
posted by ColdChef at 1:03 PM on July 11, 2002

i love the vent. its the main reason i get the ajc.
posted by hazelmeg at 1:19 PM on July 11, 2002

The day I realized that my beloved Vent was online was a very happy one for me. I used to never miss it when I lived in Atlanta.

Anyone else remember when it was only five days a week, and how you'd forget that every Saturday, opening up to page two of the Metro section only to be cruelly mocked by the other crap that was there in the first column?
posted by Sapphireblue at 1:40 PM on July 11, 2002

You want to water your lawn? Move to Texas

So I thought, one if it grows, second same problem new state, problem just like California, good thing I ignored it then or I would move now. In California I had well water which was rare for my area, here the associations pays the bill, yet they now have laws when you can and can't. Funny how things follow you.
posted by thomcatspike at 1:42 PM on July 11, 2002

Can you try again thomcatspike? I'm not sure what you're saying???
posted by luser at 2:01 PM on July 11, 2002

Troubled by kleptomania? Take something for it.
posted by ColdChef at 2:08 PM on July 11, 2002

The Indianapolis Star has had the same thing, called Let it Out, for around 6 - 8 years. Do a lot of other papers have this?
posted by internal at 2:08 PM on July 11, 2002

Okay, I defy anyone to find a "Vent" stranger than this one:

Yesterday, I blurted out obscenities in front of my dog, and I should not have done that.

Thomcat? Any thoughts on this?
posted by ColdChef at 2:12 PM on July 11, 2002

I began reading The Vent in the daily paper (usually first) and was very pleased when they brought it online (saves me finding a paper somewhere). Now it is one of my daily reads online. I've even submitted a few but have yet to be vented. (I like the number of self-referential vents.) They even have a Sports Vent and a Braves Vent if you'd like these ramblings more topical.
posted by trox at 2:19 PM on July 11, 2002

In Baton Rouge, you can vent, but only through Smiley and his ugly avocado colored phone. (Smiley's no picture, himself)
posted by ColdChef at 2:23 PM on July 11, 2002

I used to read Smiley Anders every day before junior high.

It seemed much better then (or perhaps just more relevant).

Sadly, his online archive is about the only place Google can ever find any reference to Buckskin Bill.
posted by rushmc at 2:49 PM on July 11, 2002

Buckskin Bill. I was on his show once. I was five. His puppets made me cry.
posted by ColdChef at 2:53 PM on July 11, 2002

I must have been 7, but it was only the afternoon show, so it hardly counted.

:: does the Monday Morning March ::
posted by rushmc at 3:08 PM on July 11, 2002

Two comments, same day:

What's the most dangerous job in Russia?
Riding shotgun on a garbage truck.

I work for a trash pickup company and the other day one of our drivers was held up at gunpoint in Atlanta. Either that is a really tough neighborhood or the economy is awful.

(one, two)
posted by lbergstr at 4:48 PM on July 11, 2002

Separated at birth: Vanilla Coke and Kaopectate.

New York just raised the price of a pack of cigarettes to $7 a pack. The Mafia is back, baby!

If marriage is a contract, it should be a breach of that contract if either party gains more than 50 pounds over their wedding day weight.

Friday was inspired.
posted by nath at 5:39 PM on July 11, 2002

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking," and then I thought, what good would that do?
posted by ColdChef at 7:14 AM on July 12, 2002

The chain of newspapers I used to work at has something like this in three of their papers. There's OpenLine in the Aurora (IL) Beacon News (my personal favorite), Speak Out in the Elgin (IL) Courier News, and the newest addition, Open Line in the Joliet (IL) Herald News. Most of the comments are about local issues, but these columns are lots of fun to read even if you don't live in one of those towns.
posted by SisterHavana at 7:23 AM on July 12, 2002

for miguel:

So what if European males look good in Capri pants? They probably still smell funny.
posted by mlang at 9:04 AM on July 12, 2002