"Just don't tell my wife"

July 19, 2002 5:59 AM

"Just don't tell my wife" says a guy who shot at a helicopter when it landed in a vacant lot across from his house to pick up a passenger. He was sure they were terrorists. What happened to just calling the police and reporting the helicopter's number?
posted by onhazier (27 comments total)

When I saw it on the local news this morning, I couldn't help but laugh. It's just too stupid. So, how many laws were broken here?
posted by onhazier at 6:02 AM on July 19, 2002

"My initial reaction was this had got to be terrorists," he said

Well, he has been taking Tom Ridge's advice. Terrorists, terrorists, everywhere...
posted by skallas at 6:13 AM on July 19, 2002

what a moron. everybody knows the white helicopters are the good guys.
posted by quonsar at 6:15 AM on July 19, 2002

Regardless of how idiotic the guy shooting at the helicopter was, this story just doesn't add up. Why did the helicopter land? The story seems to imply that it was an emergency landing due to the clutch light coming on, but then why was the guy waiting to be picked up? The pilot is very evasive by saying "It was a combination of things." I'm not implying they really are terrorists. I'm just confused.
posted by emptybowl at 6:19 AM on July 19, 2002

Glad to hear people who "shoot first and ask questions later" are toting around civilian versions of the M16 assault rifle.

This is a guy who needs to talk to a lawyer. Even the snakes on the back of the phone book would have suggested he avoid having his picture taken by a reporter as he holds the saw he used to destroy evidence.

Still trying to figure out the "Men in Black" connection. Red Dawn, maybe...
posted by jmcmurry at 6:21 AM on July 19, 2002

Why did the helicopter land?

My 2 cents: He was landing to pick this guy up, who I'm sure paid quite a bit for the privilege. Had Rambo not decided to get his gun, they probably would have been in and out without much drama, but now that that this is a news story, the pilot, knowing there are probably any number of city and state laws against, oh, just landing a helicopter anywhere you please, is trying to cover his arse.
posted by jalexei at 6:36 AM on July 19, 2002

Red Dawn, maybe...

WOLVERINES!!!!

(God, I love that movie....)
posted by emptybowl at 6:46 AM on July 19, 2002

If any of my neighbors come out of their houses with a civilian version of a military assault rifle, I am going to land a helicopter on them.

Why can't I live somewhere where idiots like this can not own high powered guns?
posted by DragonBoy at 7:01 AM on July 19, 2002

"If you came in and told me you killed someone, we can't just charge you," Middlebrook explained. "We have to have some corroborating evidence." There is something very reassuring about that.
posted by Mack Twain at 7:05 AM on July 19, 2002

The fact that he comes from Port Monmouth, NJ does not surprise me at all.

I guess that means something to you only if you are from NJ and are familiar with Port Monmouth. Otherwise, I guess you are not in on the joke. You can take solace in the fact that you are not familiar with NJ, though.
posted by adampsyche at 7:07 AM on July 19, 2002

Ewwww...can't wait to get see guy signed up as a TIPS informant!!
posted by nofundy at 7:30 AM on July 19, 2002

I think he's part of the next stage : TIPS Enforcers.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:32 AM on July 19, 2002

(God, I love that movie....)

Me too.

Glad to hear people who "shoot first and ask questions later" are toting around civilian versions of the M16 assault rifle.

An AR-15 really isn't any more threatening than any other semi-automatic rifle with a clip of more than 20 rounds. Hell, old Chinese SKS and Russian AK-47s are available for just a little over $100 in some places. Lots of people own these things, but all it take is one nutball, and hysteria.
posted by insomnyuk at 8:10 AM on July 19, 2002

could always have these people as your neighbours.


i can't imagine wanting to own one assualt rifle, let alone over half a dozen
posted by loukas_c at 8:14 AM on July 19, 2002

Attempted murder? I don't understand the tone of this article. This guy is scary.
posted by Wood at 8:57 AM on July 19, 2002

wow, this happened a few miles away from where i live. the scariest thing about it is that this guy reminds me of my own father.
posted by daHIFI at 9:06 AM on July 19, 2002

Why can't I live somewhere where idiots like this can not own high powered guns?

You can. There are a number of countries that don't let people own high-powered guns.
posted by kindall at 9:18 AM on July 19, 2002

why did he cut the weapon and drop it into the trash?
posted by tolkhan at 9:41 AM on July 19, 2002

This is just too weird. You watch, next week there will be a crop circle in that vacant lot.
Yeah, sure, you laugh now.... These alien helicopter pilots are taking over the world slowly but surely, and there's not a damn thing we can do about it but just sit back and watch. Surely someone out there has a plan worked out. I have been searching the NY times personal ads for weeks now, looking for the secret message. So far, all I have is that they will met next to the red barn when the rooster crows to the west.
Beware, people. I have warned you. The helicopter aliens will show us all what fear really is. They will let us all become aware of the terrible secret of Venus.
posted by bradth27 at 9:48 AM on July 19, 2002

why did he cut the weapon and drop it into the trash?
posted by tolkhan at 9:41 AM PST on July 19

I am not sure, but am assuming there must be some logic to it. Maybe a cut barrel will not test fire anything that can be matched up with the shots he fired at the heliocopter.

Asuming he hit it and they recovered the slugs.
posted by thirteen at 10:52 AM on July 19, 2002

Speaking of Why can't I live somewhere where idiots like this can not own high powered guns?, this guy should be convicted of a felony. I think in most places that should rule out rifle ownership. I think we can get a solid majority on an adendum to the 2nd amendment specifying that you can't own a gun if you're going to shoot it at people for no good reason.
posted by Wood at 1:48 PM on July 19, 2002

That's a really silly idea for a law Wood, not only because it be impossible to enforce.

"Ok, remember, you have to have a really good reason for shooting your gun at people"

Technically, if you don't have a really good reason (like self-defense) for using your gun on a person, then you are committing aggravated assault, murder, or manslaughter.
posted by insomnyuk at 2:00 PM on July 19, 2002

I think we can get a solid majority on an adendum to the 2nd amendment specifying that you can't own a gun if you're going to shoot it at people for no good reason.

You do? How would this be verified? While I am at it, a felony sounds pretty harsh. Especially if he actually believed he was living in a terrorist moment. For that he should never be allowed to vote again?
posted by thirteen at 2:01 PM on July 19, 2002

I'm just fooling around guys. It's short hand for the generally true fact that if you commit one of the crimes insomnyuk mentions you will lose your gun-toting rights. And, thirteen, this man should never be allowed to vote again. The article sucks, but it highly suggests that he shot at the helicopter. What does the stuff about a terrorist moment mean? It's a helicopter. So what? If he sees a menacing truck driving down the road he can just SHOOT AT IT? Howzabout he call 911 instead. For the love of God, stupidity does not excuse gross violence. Probably all of those people who kill store clerks made one stupid decision after another.

Are you going to defend this guy when he pops 9 millimeters into the head of an Arabic meter man reading an electricity meter? He ought to do time. (Not a lot, but a little and yeah, no more voting or shooting.)
posted by Wood at 2:36 PM on July 19, 2002

What does the stuff about a terrorist moment mean? It's a helicopter.
Yeah, but it was a helicopter where it had no business being. It freaked him out. If it had been a helicopter dumping sarin over his block he would have been considered a hero or some such thing. I agree he was a dink, but I have no anger towards him. Obviously something will happen to him for his actions, and that seems fine, but since no one was hurt, and he was reacting (albeit poorly) I cannot see smacking him down all that low. I am thinking a fine would do it, 10 days in jail.
posted by thirteen at 5:01 PM on July 19, 2002

Get caught with a gram of weed in a stop-and-frisk, spend the night in jail, and possibly the next 10 years.

Recklessly and pointlessly discharge a weapon at an aircraft in a residential neighborhood, destroy the evidence, and you'll be given all your time to think about it, all the while in your home.

Nice country this is.
posted by clevershark at 9:34 PM on July 19, 2002

*sees-a-helicopter*

"Not on my street!"
posted by holloway at 2:24 AM on July 20, 2002