July 19, 2002

2:14 PM

100 albums you should chuck out.While I wouldn't necessarily agree with all this blokes selections, he is very, very funny. I can barely believe it hasn't been posted before, I searched and it's not there.
posted by Fat Buddha (68 comments total)

I am proud to announce that I own not one of the albums on his list. On the other hand, maybe that's why I'm so unpopular.
posted by interrobang at 2:24 PM on July 19, 2002

Read this last night and stopped after 30. Like you said, there's a lot to disagree with.
posted by yerfatma at 2:31 PM on July 19, 2002

Weird. This guy hates all these album so much, he spends the time to write a list of 100 that he hates the most. What a loser. This blanket statement alone qualifies him as moron: "All live albums suck, and these are no exception." I guess the list is funny, if unchecked vitriol counts. Someone send this guy a copy of Catcher in the Rye, and tell him to shut the fuck up.
posted by uftheory at 2:32 PM on July 19, 2002

I can barely believe it hasn't been posted before, I searched and it's not there.

Probably because we have seen it on Plastic.com

Sorry, I am just feeling snarky today. I have 33 of those albums. And dammit - I have listened to 5 of them today This guy is probably the same guy comes off more as a "Look how cool I am to be above all of that dreck that people listen to." Also, this person is probably the same guy who would say, "I liked them for awhile years ago, before everyone started to listen to them. But now, people just go for the scene." Or some such too-cool-for-my-fucking-shoes hipster.

Pure crap.
posted by plemeljr at 2:36 PM on July 19, 2002

Its pretty funny up to a point. Eventually it breaks down into some elitist ranting.
posted by jbelshaw at 2:41 PM on July 19, 2002

I still like Take 5!
posted by straight at 2:45 PM on July 19, 2002

Hahah.. Great link! Lighten up. I own a few of these records (cherish some, even) but this still pretty funny..

Quit buying every single Goddamned Prince release! Don't you know he fell off in like '89? You bought this 3-CD set because you thought that the sheer number of songs guaranteed a few keepers. You were wrong.
posted by xmutex at 2:48 PM on July 19, 2002

I think he's right on every single count, except "Dark Side of the Moon" and "Hunky Dory". Very funny and well-written list.
posted by evanizer at 2:51 PM on July 19, 2002

Saw it via Anil’s blog last night. I own a bunch of albums from this list, mainly The Beatles, Bowie, and Lou Reed. It’s funny though.
posted by riffola at 2:52 PM on July 19, 2002

Oh and Floyd
posted by riffola at 2:52 PM on July 19, 2002

Great piece of comedy! I own every single one and bet he does too.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:54 PM on July 19, 2002

It will be a cold day in hell before I throw away "Time Out." (And that's "Time Out," you wanker, not "Take Five." Jebus. If you're gonna come down on something, at least take the time to come down on it proper.)
posted by RakDaddy at 2:54 PM on July 19, 2002

Not to say you're a wanker for getting the title wrong, straight. I mean the guy who wrote the list. He's a wanker. You're cool in my book.
posted by RakDaddy at 2:55 PM on July 19, 2002

Come on, it's just an innocent rant--a pretty funny one when you agree with a lot of the stuff he says, even for artists/albums you like and have no intention of getting rid of. I love Tori Amos to death, but there are some days you want to strangle her if you hear another word.

Besides...he's all into Erykah Badu--what's that all about!
posted by troybob at 2:56 PM on July 19, 2002

Bugger me, now I have to search on Plastic as well if I don't want to double post?
I haven't a clue how many of the albums I have, but it's more than several, and I will enjoy them just the same. I think the point with this guy is he actually appears to know the albums, so while I may not agree with what he says, his opinions are based on first hand knowledge (I think). That doesn't necessarily make them valid, but it does make them pertinent, if that's not oxymoronic. Anyway I thought his tongue was firmly in his cheek and while it wasn't all good, what is good is very good. The little review of Hole had me pissing myself.
posted by Fat Buddha at 2:56 PM on July 19, 2002

excellent list. i agree with a great many of them. we need more music criticism (and humour) like this in the world. ahh, what a wonderful world it would be without pink floyd, the beatles, U2, sting, etc...
posted by dobbs at 3:04 PM on July 19, 2002

If you liked this, you'll love The Worst Rock-And-Roll Records of All Time: A Fan's Guide to the Stuff You Love to Hate.

Me, I was chuckling until he slagged Layla.
posted by timeistight at 3:04 PM on July 19, 2002

I think it's pretty funny, and he's upfront about how elitist and cooler-than-thou he's being, so it's not like calling him out on it really does anything. And as Fat Buddha has mentioned, he at least knows the material.

And come on, I had to agree with some of them, even a few I own. I have Legend, it's great, and I never play it 'cause it's been played to death. I'm looking forward to embarrassing my kids with Nevermind. And I'd almost forgotten I actually have that Gin Blossoms album...know what? It sucks! Joshua Tree? I wore it out in '87, sounds preachy and annoying now.

I think my favorite was the Einsturzende Neubauten write-up: Der gelegentliche Horer wurde solchen Mibklang nie verstehen - und hat damit einen wichtigen Punkt, weil die Kotze auf dieser Platte eigentlich fucking unlistenable ist.
posted by jalexei at 3:07 PM on July 19, 2002

What, My Bloody Valentine's Loveless didn't make the list?
posted by Vek at 3:09 PM on July 19, 2002

What better way to get hits on your site than to post obvious flame-bait such as this? If he posted that list here on Metafilter, he'd be called out as a troll.
posted by crunchland at 3:11 PM on July 19, 2002

:) reading that list made me embarassed to be me for a moment
posted by andrew cooke at 3:14 PM on July 19, 2002

You guys are talking about "he" as if one person wrote the list. It's pretty obviously the work of several people, as evidenced by the repeated self-contradiction and, um, the credits listing the names of the sixteen people involved.
posted by kindall at 3:18 PM on July 19, 2002

Anyone ever thought of harvesting indie-rocker e-mail with a list like this?
posted by furiousthought at 3:18 PM on July 19, 2002

oh, wait, I do own Tommy. But I agree with what he says about it. There's something very thin about the recording on that album. The Live at Leeds version lets you know what it's really supposed to sound like.
posted by interrobang at 3:19 PM on July 19, 2002

I laughed all the way up to #86: "The Grateful Dead -- ALL RECORDINGS."
posted by muckster at 3:27 PM on July 19, 2002

This list just gives proof to the hoary old cliche about opinions being like assholes, and being an opinionated asshole myself, I found myself chuckling at much of it. The Greatful Dead comment was priceless.
posted by MrBaliHai at 3:36 PM on July 19, 2002

Though shalt not dis Helmet.
posted by adampsyche at 3:49 PM on July 19, 2002

34. Dave Brubeck - Take Five

The album isn't called "Take Five." It's "Time Out." So much for insightful criticism.

Then again, maybe they were listening to The Who's "Teenage Wasteland" while they were writing this.

Maybe I'll start my own list: 100 URLs not to bookmark.
posted by pmurray63 at 3:58 PM on July 19, 2002

Not to say you're a wanker for getting the title wrong, straight. I mean the guy who wrote the list. He's a wanker. You're cool in my book.

I, er, was saying that I still like the *song* "Take Five," as well as the rest of the Time Out album. Yeah, that's it!

Seriously, I love that melody, I'm gonna be whistling for the rest of the day now.
posted by straight at 4:06 PM on July 19, 2002

it's fun to see someone else besides myself bashing beck and oasis, wheeee...! ok. no, seriously... while i can't react violently to any of their condemnations - i've always been comfy admitting when something i like is crap and my ego is not all tied up in who my fave musicians are - most of the comments show that these kid's skills lie more in making snarky comments (a talent to be sure, seriously. i love the snark!) and much less in understanding music, especially jazz. they do seem most angry, most semantically twisted when making comment on the few jazz albums they included... even if taken as honest professional critique (as opposed to fairly uninformed ranting), the comments are entirely removed from the reality of the recordings.

i mean you don't have to love an artist's entire catalogue but it's underdeveloped to condemn/discard that which is a departure from his/her established form. miles, coltrane and brubeck were/are (i believe brubeck is still alive) 3 of the most creative and daring americans in any art form, ever.

does it bear mentioning that i'm not a specific fan of these 3 musicians, that i'm not an american, and that none of my faves were on the list...? if so this is my disclaimer 8-)
posted by t r a c y at 4:19 PM on July 19, 2002

"Worst" lists are the easiest trolls, as witnessed here.
posted by milnak at 4:33 PM on July 19, 2002

I like this one just for it trashing death cab for cutie. My hat is off to you.
posted by atom128 at 4:34 PM on July 19, 2002

But now I hate it for dissing Tom Waits. Damnit. Just can't win with these things.
posted by atom128 at 4:35 PM on July 19, 2002

I think the point of this was to make a list of critically acclaimed albums people love but don't actually listen to (I'm surprised Selected Ambient Works Volume II isn't listed). Come to think of it I haven't listened to Nevermind in years, and I'd probably pick any of their other albums to listen to before that one.

Now that has me contemplating a list of 100 mp3's you should delete (yes those Chris Cornell/Rage Against the Machine demos need some work, and that Strokes/Aguilera bootleg is getting tired).

Helmet rock.
posted by bobo123 at 4:52 PM on July 19, 2002

I own #41 (Pulp Fiction soundtrack) and #69 (Fumbling Towards Ecstasy). I listen to #41 quite often, but I loaned #69 to a friend who has never returned it, so the ownership issue is a little murky, I guess.

Do I get enough coolness points for actually owning them on cassette to offset owning them at all? How do I score this?

I'm so confused, and it doesn't help at all that my random-play MP3 playlist just chose to play a selection from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:20 PM on July 19, 2002

i happen to agree with the Wilco vs. Son Volt rant, but the rest of it reads like typical 'music critic' spew. well, ok, they also get points for correctly observing that white stripes/strokes/hives/etc. do truly suck like nobody's business.

hey, look! i'm a music critic too (and i have the Onion t-shirt to prove it)!
posted by modge at 5:53 PM on July 19, 2002

I've owned or had in my possession many of these. While I don't agree with the authors, I do feel that many of these have been overplayed to death. I coined a term many years ago, "the U2 syndrome", meaning anything that has been played so often that you hate it, even though you love it.

But, just because they have been overplayed does not make them bad albums. On the contrary, it proves that they are great albums.
posted by ashbury at 6:15 PM on July 19, 2002

Reminds me of this:

"With any luck, an ignorant world will soon be forced to recognize the truth and purity of your musical tastes"
posted by scribblative at 6:27 PM on July 19, 2002

I can barely believe it hasn't been posted before, I searched and it's not there.

Maybe the reason why no one posted it before because everyone who was tempted recognized it for the trollish flame-bait that it is.
posted by crunchland at 6:36 PM on July 19, 2002

Crunchland, old chap, you are probably right.
Err, I have an old dictionary, help me out. What is the difference between "flamebait" and expressing an honest opinion?
posted by Fat Buddha at 6:47 PM on July 19, 2002

flamebait
posted by crunchland at 7:09 PM on July 19, 2002

So we have 40-ish fun comments on this post and most people seem to agree that at least parts of the list were entertaining, even if we didn't agree with a lot of it, yet crunchland is indignant enough to blather about "trollish flame-bait" twice in less than 4 hours.

Is crunchland a twit, or am I just falling for the troll crying "troll"? Both perhaps?
posted by jalexei at 7:17 PM on July 19, 2002

Sorry, 3 times...
posted by jalexei at 7:18 PM on July 19, 2002

I keep meaning to move to Vegas.
posted by machaus at 7:23 PM on July 19, 2002

i've been waiting for many years for someone to trash cocteau twins' "heaven or las vegas." i was a devout fan before and hated everything they did after. but i was kind of afraid to say anything about it in public. never cherished being lynched in a nightclub.
posted by patricking at 8:50 PM on July 19, 2002

jalexei, crunchland obviously cares about his tunes. He's not wrong about this being flamebait, since music threads are well known to produce some strong reactions. So far it's a pretty tame thread, though. I think you have a point but it's not productive to call him out in the thread. Since you can't email each other, I suggest you take it to MeTa.
posted by ashbury at 8:50 PM on July 19, 2002

If you have 12 or more of these CDs .... you're a Dido fan.
posted by dhartung at 9:08 PM on July 19, 2002

Hmm... yes, I guess I will subordinate my own judgement to a guy who, by my guessing, is still working in a record store way past his 20s, can't put out a decent web site ("insert text here", alternating numbered and non-numbered lists, etc.), and can't even count to 100.

It's like satire, without all that "being funny" baggage. Go forth and enjoy your Striper tapes dude...
posted by clevershark at 9:10 PM on July 19, 2002

According to the link above, I'm not a Dido fan, even though I should have most of those albums. I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. I'm not ashamed.
posted by ashbury at 9:15 PM on July 19, 2002

Hmm... I guess the guy CAN count to 100, but can't write HTML worth sh*t. He garbled it so bad half the pages aren't even rendered by Mozilla. I still don't feel I'm missing much of anything interesting tho'.
posted by clevershark at 9:24 PM on July 19, 2002

Miles Davis - Bitches Brew
You fantasize that your friends come over and admire you for having this album don't you? Yeah, too bad you can't fucking stand this shrill, rambling, incoherent mess. Oh, and if you've got The Complete Bitches Brew Sessions, you should probably just give it up and sell your entire collection, you poser.

Beautiful. And accurate.
posted by Optamystic at 9:33 PM on July 19, 2002

This is as much a goof on music criticism as it is the music itself...a great majority of the albums on this list simply have had undue amounts of praise lavished on them by overexcited journos.
posted by NoMoreLSAT at 12:35 AM on July 20, 2002

I like that list, probably because I own none of the listed recordings, though I have owned a few of them (seven, I think) and later given them away.

Pop music (and all of the music on that list is pop) is a disposable product. Don't wash your plastic sporks and put them in a drawer. Don't rinse your tampons and hang them on the line. Smoke your cigarette down to the end, empty the bottle, and move on.
posted by pracowity at 2:17 AM on July 20, 2002

Hmm... yes, I guess I will subordinate my own judgement to a guy who, by my guessing, is still working in a record store way past his 20s

Though maybe that makes him even more of an expert? I, on the other hand, am 1/3 of the way to being a Dido fan, so clearly I'm to be listened to. And ashbury, no need to clutter MeTalk - my apologies for the derail and to crunchland - my intended "gentle-poking-fun" tone didn't quite shine through.

Now how 'bout those Hives?
posted by jalexei at 4:50 AM on July 20, 2002

The attack on Jane's Addiction is uncalled for, because Perry Farrell saved rock and roll.

It's hard to remember now, but in 1988 / 1989, a lot of people were saying that guitar/bass/drums/guy with a distinctive voice was deader than dead.

And, it was after Lollapalooza (the original, in the summer of 1991) that Nirvana and Pearl Jam really got out of the blocks, because the record industry saw unmistakably that there was an audience for rock beyond the big-haired teenage girls who'd been listening to Ratt and Poison...
posted by MattD at 7:28 AM on July 20, 2002

Huh? Where's the Rage Against The Machine?
posted by NortonDC at 7:49 AM on July 20, 2002

I think the tone of the writing is hysterical. Don't agree with the music he/they selected, but think it's a funny link none the less.
posted by dejah420 at 9:15 AM on July 20, 2002

brief rant:

i like tori amos fine. i can understand why she gets on people's nerves. that said, why is it that people who absolutely despise tori don't make fun of, say, jewel? jewel sells about ten times what tori does, can barely sing, can barely play guitar, and writes lyrics that are a thousand times worse than anything that's tripped off tori's bosendorfer (as cringeworthy as most of "mohammed my friend" is, it's not nearly as bad as the line about stealing the cynic's food in -- gag -- "i'm sensitive", or the trilling "jew, oh jew" in "pieces of you"). is it because tori's fans are so obnoxious, where jewel's fans are not nearly so bad? is that why
posted by pxe2000 at 10:35 AM on July 20, 2002

pxe2000- I'm not sure. I like Tori a good deal more than Jewel. At least I liked Little Earthquakes. I've liked her progressively less with each album and would have stopped buying her albums by now if I hadn't already stopped buying all albums in protest against RIAA lobbying.

Tori comes across as more empowered than Jewel does. I suspect truly empowered women still rub some guys the wrong way. She is sort of masculine and aggressive when she's playing the piano, and with all the RAIN stuff she's more political. Now how you can have a problem with somebody that wants to help rape survivors is beyond me, but I believe that is it. By contrast jewel is just this quite girl who thinks she's a poet but mostly stays in her place.
posted by willnot at 10:49 AM on July 20, 2002

you can opine badly about ANYTHING, if you really wanted to. hence, lists like this.
posted by lillitot at 11:40 AM on July 20, 2002

what a load of utter tosh.
posted by johnnyboy at 12:43 PM on July 20, 2002

the fact that people spend time trashing music is beyond me. it's all a matter of taste, everyone is different, who cares what's popular or elitist cool. if you like a song, you like it, period. enjoy it. be thankful you found it. who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks.
posted by physics at 3:02 PM on July 20, 2002

A quality list. I own two & I'll keep 'em for remixing purposes.

I love it when MeFi discusses music - 90% of you have terrible music taste ;-)
posted by i_cola at 3:54 PM on July 20, 2002

pxe2000 - probably because tori has some indie cred whereas jewel just plain sucks. i'd flush 'em both but hey, that's me.
posted by dobbs at 12:38 AM on July 21, 2002

Anyone who deflates Bono's monstrous ego can't be all bad. Comments on U2's War:
"We do make, and we will continue to make, soul music. Soul music is when you bring what's on the inside to the outside." (Bono, 1983) --Actually, defecating is when you bring what's on the inside to the outside
posted by fellorwaspushed at 12:03 PM on July 22, 2002

Are y'all sure this list isn't being totally sarcastic? I like every single CD listed!
posted by MarkO at 12:41 PM on July 22, 2002

Actually, I take that back. Just took another look at the list and now I don't know what to think. Better buy all those albums just to be safe.
posted by MarkO at 12:46 PM on July 22, 2002

I was fine with the list until they got to Dark Side of the Moon. Absolute sacrilege to even suggest that this is not one of the all-time great albums.

Although it was the only one of the list I own, do I get extra points for owning it on vinyl as well as CD?
posted by dg at 5:00 PM on July 22, 2002