Comments on: Comments on 18575

Post number 18575

muckster — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 14:22:35 -0800

All of us abuse the hand sanitizer: True porn clerk stories.

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 14:30:26 -0800

lol, there are some good reads in here... thanks for the link.

By: malphigian

malphigian — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 14:33:46 -0800

The author of this was actually recently on This American Life, and makes this very quote.

By: moz

moz — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 15:10:58 -0800

i read through the whole thing. thanks, muckster. retail seems like a hard job, and i've lucked out in not having to work at such a job. imagine working at an actual porn store? it's not just videos you have to watch out for, and the freaks are multiplied.

By: Skot

Skot — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 15:25:35 -0800

Jesus, this is a great read. Hey everyone! Go read this, dammit! She's smart and funny!

By: jcterminal

jcterminal — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 15:33:52 -0800

you rabbit-humper! i was JUST about to post this. stupid me for reading all of it first. :(

By: rotifer

rotifer — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 15:58:33 -0800

She has great style, a new site to keep an eye on.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 15:59:41 -0800

My recently-deceased uncle worked as a graveyard-shift porn clerk to support himself while he was going to school in Phoenix in the 80's. After reading all the entries from this link and comparing them to the stories I remember my uncle telling me, I can conclude that the major difference between then and now is VHS has become DVD. Other than that it sounds pretty much the same. I really wish he was still alive, I know this is one post he'd have enjoyed immensely.

By: priyanga

priyanga — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 16:17:18 -0800

One of my best friends used to work in the porn room of a popular video store north of campus, she too had some harrowing tales to tell. The character types are familiar. Porn has become the armpit of contemporary culture, that awkward intersection separating the hand from the heart and the head. Great writing, and I hope - whatever else is sacraficed at $6.50/hour - inspiration remains. Donate if you can :) they could obviously use a hand...

By: ODiV

ODiV — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 16:22:02 -0800

separately, they couldn't get porn, but together they were unstoppable. - from the Symbiots.

By: kush

kush — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 16:40:33 -0800

And besides - do we really need to raise another generation of men who can't deal with pubic hair? Amen!

By: nstop

nstop — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 16:50:05 -0800

When I was in college I worked at a video store with a rather large porn section, so I really, really enjoyed reading those stories. I definitely remember some of our, er... regulars, like the guy who would come in on our "rent two, get one free" day and, every time, would pick out two porn flicks and a Alfred Hitchcock movie. And he would never rent anything else.

By: mattpfeff

mattpfeff — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 17:16:02 -0800

I knew Hitchcock was good, but I didn't know he was that good.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 17:31:34 -0800

The person that thought David Cop-A-Feel was the best porn title that aped a real movie obviously hasn't heard of Three Men and a Maybe.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 17:58:40 -0800

Whoa there, WolfDaddy-o. The greatest porn title of all time that borrows from a major-studio release is either E3 the Extra Testicle or Romancing the Bone, with Saving Ryan's Privates a close third. However, feel free to substitute almost anything on this list, they're all pretty good.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 18:14:14 -0800

(aside : I mentioned this link on my blog yesterday, but I just retrofitted the trackback URL into my post just to check out the new functionality, and yes, it does work. Cool.)

By: Windigo

Windigo — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 18:26:11 -0800

This post rocks. My fave line of what I've read so far? "Nobody's thought of an answer yet, and we're not really sure we want to toss him for loitering. He is, after all, just putting on makeup. But why in our porn section? It has such harsh fluorescent lighting."

By: bobo123

bobo123 — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 18:41:40 -0800

I don't understand why she was digging at the guy, Mr. Pig, for "abusing" the punch card system, it's the store that has the dumb system. Why would any renter keep the damn card after getting six punches? It's not a "scam" because he's not trying to trick anyone, he's exploiting a loophole perhaps, but it's not like he's faking the punches or anything.

By: toddshot

toddshot — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 18:42:33 -0800

When oh when will the porn industry accept my pitch for the sci-fi porn epic, In Da Panties Day? Oh, and this is a great link. Plus it's hosted on a pretty cool site that provides lots of resources for people interested in improv.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 18:48:34 -0800

Okay, who can identify with one of the customer types? C'mon, be honest...

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 19:18:37 -0800

That's Shaving Ryan's Privates, Crash. Okay, howabout Indian Joan and the Temple of Poon? That's one's better than the one on the list you submitted. Title-wise, anyways, I wouldn't know about content ;-)

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 19:27:06 -0800

Yeah, yeah, I of course meant shaving. Screw the spell-checker, I want a context-checker.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 21:03:19 -0800

The canonical example, lately, seems to be Forrest Hump. I've heard it half a dozen times. But this gave me a new adjective to use: plateheaded. Hardly any results in google ...

By: clevershark

clevershark — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 21:17:54 -0800

I've heard of a porn flick called "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Breast", but frankly I don't know if it's an actual movie or just a joke name...

By: sixtwenty3dc

sixtwenty3dc — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 21:52:14 -0800

excellent link. i'll be up for hours reading this. damn good writing too.

By: NortonDC

NortonDC — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 22:33:07 -0800

We've been over this people. The canonical example is Edward Penis-Hands.

By: bingo

bingo — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 23:17:34 -0800

Very witty, and right on, based on my own experience as a video store clerk.

By: hobbes

hobbes — Fri, 19 Jul 2002 23:30:47 -0800

LoL, my gf and I joke 'bout David Cop-a-Feel every now and then, didn't actually think it was something real...

By: lotsofno

lotsofno — Sat, 20 Jul 2002 00:16:12 -0800

::says in a madeline l'engle tone:: well, there is such a thing as a clockwork orgy..

By: rhyax

rhyax — Sat, 20 Jul 2002 00:23:05 -0800

best quote: "When you're scrutinizing the charming cover art of White Trash Whore the last thing you want is to be chastized by a booming voice from above."

By: Zurishaddai

Zurishaddai — Sat, 20 Jul 2002 01:14:35 -0800

Delightful link. I hate it when people chip away at our likelihood to cut a good person a break. Especially when theyÃ¢Â?Â?re just trying to save up for the next entry in the Stop! My Ass is on Fire! series.

By: mabelcolby

mabelcolby — Sun, 21 Jul 2002 11:44:58 -0800

my boyfriend works part time at a porn shop, but only because he ends up raking in almost $9/hour there, and most jobs in town pay about $6/hour. i had him read this and he thought it was great :) he said he's going to print it out and leave it at work for everyone to read

By: shepd

shepd — Sun, 21 Jul 2002 21:55:56 -0800

On that wage, I'd be saving some more money. Hand sanitizer is expensive. A $0.99 bottle of 70% USP rubbing alcohol does the same job but without the "replenishing" quaities of sanitizer. Make it almost identical by adding a $1.50 2 L bottle of hand cream. Did I just say hand cream? Ooops.