The barbie drug,
August 1, 2002 9:29 AM   Subscribe

The barbie drug, brown and hard anyone?
posted by bittennails (25 comments total)

 
sign me up.
posted by quonsar at 9:37 AM on August 1, 2002


Ugly people with tans are still ugly. Now they'll be hornier, too.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:41 AM on August 1, 2002


"you'd get a fantastic tan and a highly active libido, with a slim figure and clear skin as possible side-effects."

Yeah, like, I am just sooooo sure. With hormone therapy as a backdrop, I find this really hard to believe.

"If it sounds too good to be true..."
posted by zekinskia at 9:41 AM on August 1, 2002


How about a drug that would make you brim over again with sexual desire and simultaneously turn you into an object of desire – by restoring that all-over tan, for instance?

Life is a beach.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:42 AM on August 1, 2002


My lord! They've finally bottled George Hamilton!
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:45 AM on August 1, 2002


Wired article on the same subject.
posted by Hackworth at 9:52 AM on August 1, 2002


Hey, I never thought I'd wear this Speedo again. Now that I'm nice and tan -- unnggh. Little tight. No matter. I'm headed to the beach.
posted by Faze at 9:57 AM on August 1, 2002


Now if they can toss some of this in the capsule, human beings would be way more pleasant as sexual partners. Tan, hard, and slightly citrusy-tasting.
posted by mccreath at 9:57 AM on August 1, 2002


But will it make me wittier and richer, too?
posted by ColdChef at 9:58 AM on August 1, 2002


should be able to deliver a rich tan and impressive tumescence all at once

I read this as "...rich tan and impressive tumor-escence..."
posted by plaino at 10:14 AM on August 1, 2002


CC: Is that possible?!
posted by i_cola at 10:17 AM on August 1, 2002


Looks like I will start hounding Mexican pharmacists soon.
posted by TskTsk at 10:41 AM on August 1, 2002


ColdChef: There are some drugs that can make you wittier, I bet, by increasing your brain function. After all, intelegence == ability to create jokes.

As for richer, well. Just find a way to make the drug illegal and sell it on the black market. You'll have all the money you could imagine.
posted by delmoi at 10:53 AM on August 1, 2002


so I did pick the right username after all...
posted by amberglow at 11:02 AM on August 1, 2002


Green frogs turned inky, and dog's fur turned black. This is really something I want to put in my body.

What will this stuff do to us already (blessed?) with concentrated melatonin levels, I wonder?
posted by precocious at 12:08 PM on August 1, 2002


I predict that sales of this drug to my fellow countrymen on the Indian subcontinent will be incredibly disappointing since everyone's already brown, slender and humping like bunnies.
posted by rks404 at 12:26 PM on August 1, 2002


My lord! They've finally bottled George Hamilton!

PinkStainlessTail, that's a fucking frightening thought.
posted by lia at 12:39 PM on August 1, 2002


This reminds me of the Ken and Barbie-esque characters near the end of William Gibson's Neuromancer.

As I remember, they were perpetually high, amorous, and unnaturally tan. Yet one more case of sci-fi author prescience? Also, does anyone remember the characters' names?
posted by bullitt 5 at 12:41 PM on August 1, 2002


I don't want my appetite suppressed. I love my appetite.
posted by Summer at 12:56 PM on August 1, 2002


bullitt 5, don't forget the characters in the Sandman stories who were actually named Ken and Barbie...if you haven't read it, that probably sounds stupid, but he makes it work.
posted by bingo at 2:03 PM on August 1, 2002


There are some drugs that can make you wittier

There are definately drugs that make you think you're wittier.
posted by inpHilltr8r at 2:54 PM on August 1, 2002


Just wait, I'm sure there will be secret side-effects or something.

But if there aren't, then I'll try it. :)
posted by beth at 7:18 PM on August 1, 2002


bingo: I just read that a month ago. Good call.
posted by bullitt 5 at 7:07 AM on August 2, 2002


hmm, i forget which sandman storyline that was from, bingo... a game of you?
posted by lotsofno at 7:29 AM on August 2, 2002


A Game of You is the main Barbie story, although I believe she and the Ken character appear first in The Doll's House.
posted by bingo at 1:21 PM on August 2, 2002


« Older A man has a heart attack on commuter train. The t...  |  What about Blinky?... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments