Watermelon Burgers must be seen (and tasted) to be believed
February 7, 2021 11:21 AM   Subscribe

I fully expect this recipe to be met with skepticism. In fact, a lot of you might express surprise at how good watermelon burgers turn out to be. I want you to eat this because I want to eat this, and once you try it, you’ll want to tell everyone you know to make it too. Then you’ll be the person no one believes, and later you’ll get to experience the satisfaction of hearing those people admit you were right all along. If that isn’t a fantastic reason to try out a new recipe, I don’t know what is.
posted by folklore724 (68 comments total) 56 users marked this as a favorite
 
In this case, the comments are kind of interesting as well...
posted by blob at 11:27 AM on February 7, 2021


Every day we stray further from God.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:31 AM on February 7, 2021 [58 favorites]


I absolutely plan to do this and report back...in 6 months when I can get acceptable watermelon in Northern California.
posted by JuliaIglesias at 11:37 AM on February 7, 2021 [13 favorites]


Oh fuck yeah. Like watermelon salad BUT ON BREAD!
posted by Snowishberlin at 11:38 AM on February 7, 2021 [7 favorites]


I can imagine a charred watermelon and goat cheese *salad*; it's that hard bun I'm dubious about.
posted by acrasis at 11:41 AM on February 7, 2021 [7 favorites]


I have to admit, this sounds interesting. It's fun, too, because watermelon sounds like something you'd never, ever grill, and yet......this just might work? It tweaks expectations.

Hopefully this isn't some sort of lighthearted attempted joke? I'd like for this to be the real deal.

It's 15 below here today, so I won't be grilling this evening. Maybe in April!
posted by gimonca at 11:54 AM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


I saw a picture of a grilled watermelon "burger" somewhere online and assumed it was fake. I mean, I'm willing to be proven wrong, but...how could something so watery get that kind of char on it?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:58 AM on February 7, 2021


I tried this very recipe when it showed up last summer (proof). And it works. The ciabatta bun is indeed better for this than something soft like a brioche. I was skeptical too but if you toast it a little to get it crispy then it cooperates with the watermelon.

The only warning I would give is to take it easy with that orange/fennel dressing. Like, back it off 75%. I overdid it (see photo) and it quickly took over everything else.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:58 AM on February 7, 2021 [20 favorites]


“Grilled Watermelon Burgers with Goat Cheese and Charred Orange-Fennel Gremolata” sounds like something generated by an overexcited neural net, but just based on the photos I would chomp into this without hesitation, it looks amazing.
posted by oulipian at 12:00 PM on February 7, 2021 [23 favorites]


I would definitely eat this, though I agree that charred watermelon and goat cheese salad sounds even better.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:05 PM on February 7, 2021 [4 favorites]


Can confirm that grilled watermelon salad is fantastic. A now-closed restaurant in my city had a grilled watermelon salad with goat cheese, pepitas, pickled strawberries, and guajillo vinaigrette, and it's one of the best things I've ever eaten.
posted by bassooner at 12:11 PM on February 7, 2021 [17 favorites]


TIL about the existence of Big Watermelon.

(ETA: Recipes! Carvings! Influencers!)
posted by trig at 12:18 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


When I was 17 my parents left me home alone while they went on vacation. I took the opportunity to bake a double crust watermelon pie. I improvised a recipe. Why were there no recipes? It was beautiful! I was so proud to serve it to my boyfriend! Reader, baked watermelon is so gross, we threw the whole thing out after one bite. I didn't even cry.

What I am saying is, I am skeptical, but this looks great! (TIL grilling is not baking)
posted by probably not that Karen Blair at 12:28 PM on February 7, 2021 [18 favorites]


I may try this; even if it turns out to be “interesting”, watermelon is cheap where I live (at least in the summer) and there will still be plenty left for more traditional uses after I grill a melon burger or two.
posted by TedW at 12:29 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Grilled sweet things on the grill are awesome. One of my favorite desserts for grilling season is to put peach halves on the grill, then serve with whipped cream and maybe some cinnamon.
Could def. see where the light sweetness of watermelon could contrast nicely with some tangy BBQ sauce on a sandwich.
posted by notsnot at 12:41 PM on February 7, 2021 [4 favorites]


I could absolutely see this being really good. The sweet sugars in the watermelon would caramelize and the waters evaporate, with the whole thing taking on a sweeter spongy texture that I could see as being somewhat reminiscent of meat and then all the above talk of a watermelon salad on a bun? Yes please. Absolutely into this.

The only gripe I have with this is that it is being presented to me at a time where I am living in an apartment with no BBQ and I have no hope of being able to try this for like three or four months.

In the same family, this beer can cabbage is ALSO really surprisingly good.
posted by urbanlenny at 12:44 PM on February 7, 2021 [6 favorites]


Grilled watermelon is okay and it does do some interesting flavor alchemy things but the ratio of juiciness to bread just sounds like a bad time for the mouth. Like even if you do all the right things to keep the sogginess contained, once you’re chewing a bite it would be all... gooshy like a bread smoothie and I do not want.
posted by Mizu at 12:44 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


As someone who is tempted to argue there is no food that isn't at least as good if you add pineapple to it, I'm quite interested in trying this. Someday, I'll have access to a grill again.

I don't really understand it, though. It sounds like a lot of soggy bread and not very much flavor, even before adding spoons full of orange juice, which, I guess, you just pour over your fully formed burger?

I think I may start with just grilled watermelon and cheese. Or possibly watermelon huaraches or thick corn tacos. Burgers just sound like a recipe for sticky fingers and watermelon juice on your pants. (To be fair, I'm no grill expert, and I am often unreasonably skeptical of veggie things that are shaped like meat things.)
posted by eotvos at 12:51 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


peach halves on the grill

I do brown sugar! And I wrap them in aluminum foil first, and put them on the grill after the regular food is cooked!

EDIT: add pineapple

Absolutely on the grill.
posted by Snowishberlin at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Urbanlenny has it. The watermelon drops a lot of moisture on the grill and tightens up. It does change the texture.
posted by JoeZydeco at 12:55 PM on February 7, 2021


How to Eat a Watermelon...
posted by ovvl at 1:08 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Have none of you ever had char-grilled pineapple?
Basted with a little teriyaki sauce, and put on a burger?
You're missing out.

Two things I have not tasted are cooked watermelon and the Aussie thing of putting beetroot on a burger. Perhaps when it's watermelon season again, I'll split the difference and substitute grilled watermelon for sliced tomato on a burger. Or some sort of BLT? Smoky black pepper cured bacon, shredded cabbage, and a slice of watermelon, on toasted rye?
posted by bartleby at 1:10 PM on February 7, 2021 [3 favorites]


They said when I went meatless I'd miss burgers;
But I've got waterMALONE to feed my urges!
R.I.P. Vine
posted by bartleby at 1:30 PM on February 7, 2021 [3 favorites]


bartleby: "Have none of you ever had char-grilled pineapple? "

You wouldn't be able to get up and leave after a Brazilian rodizio without it.
posted by chavenet at 1:41 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


You can laugh and joke all day if you want, but wait until you taste my watermelon jerky.
posted by rhizome at 2:06 PM on February 7, 2021 [4 favorites]


Grilled peach halves with a beautiful grilled pork chop... I think about that all winter long. then all summer. Then it's finally August and the peach truck comes to town.

Anyway in 6 months or so I am interested in trying grilled watermelon! I am not sold on it as a burger. I'd like to sample it alone first. Or with cheese.
posted by Emmy Rae at 2:13 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


I don't eat watermelon at all (both taste and texture are unappealing to me), but I'm finding this whole concept fascinating and am enjoying discovering that people like watermelon in bizarre ways.
posted by hippybear at 2:17 PM on February 7, 2021 [3 favorites]


Grilled peach halves with vanilla ice cream and balsamic vinegar... the real stuff, the syrupy kind. It even makes not-great peaches taste better and have better texture. Sounds "fancy" but it's very simple really, and very good. Easy for after grilling, too.
posted by SoberHighland at 2:24 PM on February 7, 2021


Grilled peach halves with a beautiful grilled pork chop... I think about that all winter long.

You might be able to tide yourself over during the no-fresh-peaches months by searing pork chops in a pan then reducing the heat and glazing them with peach (or apricot, or just about any fruit really) preserves/jam. For extra fanciness, remove the glazed chops from the pan, deglaze the pan with a bit of cider or sherry vinegar, and lightly sauté/wilt some greens like chard, kale, or spinach with a bit of salt and pepper for the perfect zingy vegetable side accompaniment.
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:39 PM on February 7, 2021 [3 favorites]


tangential recommendation: grilled halloumi + watermelon is so good
posted by raihan_ at 2:45 PM on February 7, 2021 [9 favorites]


The only gripe I have with this is that it is being presented to me at a time where I am living in an apartment with no BBQ and I have no hope of being able to try this for like three or four months.

posted by urbanlenny


Do you have an oven with a broiler? Who knows if it would work? But it's just a chunk of watermelon after all.
posted by Splunge at 2:46 PM on February 7, 2021


CHAOTIC EVIL
posted by lalochezia at 2:52 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Hey essentially a grilled watermelon salad on a bun, which sounds good. Only addition from me would be watermelon pickles. And maybe the bread shaped and coloured like a watermelon.
posted by Ashwagandha at 3:47 PM on February 7, 2021


How to Eat a Watermelon...

Well, maybe... and then, there's Petey Greene.
posted by Rash at 3:51 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Seconding/Thirding grilled pineapple. By itself, amazing. Haven't had it on a burger, putting that on list as well.
posted by user92371 at 4:41 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


grilled watermelon with haloumi or feta is great so can't argue with this.
posted by leslies at 4:59 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Two things I have not tasted are cooked watermelon and the Aussie thing of putting beetroot on a burger.

Have done this, with both pickled beet and roasted beet. I can vouch for its tastiness!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:35 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


I may disagree with what you say, but I will die for your right to have pineapple on pizza. In this case I may actually die from eating this combination of goat cheese and watermelon, neither of which cooperate with the normal functions of my body.
posted by adept256 at 6:19 PM on February 7, 2021


grilled halloumi + everything
posted by Snowishberlin at 6:25 PM on February 7, 2021 [4 favorites]


Grilled halloumi + my face + privacy (no one needs to see this)
posted by Night_owl at 6:28 PM on February 7, 2021 [5 favorites]


Grilled peach halves with a beautiful grilled pork chop... I think about that all winter long

We make a salad with grilled peach halves, goat cheese, and prosciutto- usually on arugula but you can improvise. It's very good.
posted by oneirodynia at 6:37 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Here in NZ 'deluxe burger' at fish&chip shops usually involves: grilled pineapple, an egg, and beetroot, beef patty, bacon, ....

McDonalds periodically offers a pale imitation
posted by mbo at 7:07 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


If you vacuum seal watermelon, it firms it up a LOT. That might be an interesting to try… I mean, if you're at all inclined to try this at all.

Last summer I learned the a cucumber sliced in half lengthwise and grilled is darn good.
posted by bz at 7:12 PM on February 7, 2021 [2 favorites]


Here in NZ 'deluxe burger' at fish&chip shops usually involves: grilled pineapple, an egg, and beetroot, beef patty, bacon, ....

It's been a very long time since I've had that style of burger, but just reading the description makes me hungry. Those are messy but so tasty.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:29 PM on February 7, 2021


I'm months away from the grill, so please share your wisdom about pan-fried watermelon...
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:47 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


Every poodle I've had has gone nuts about melon. I can't wait to see the befuddlement when it goes on the grill.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 8:09 PM on February 7, 2021


Watermelon slow roasted in the oven (so, basically partially dehydrated) creates an interesting and versatile little slab that can be marinated, seasoned and grilled like a steak. I have served this as a vegan option in at least one restaurant and it met with very positive response, so I see no reason why the burger version wouldn't be the same.

The most interesting way I've used roasted or grilled watermelon, however, was slicing it to make a vegan sashimi and nigiri sushi for a few tasting menus. That one blew a few minds.


I'm months away from the grill, so please share your wisdom about pan-fried watermelon...

You're gonna have a bad time.
posted by kaiseki at 8:26 PM on February 7, 2021 [9 favorites]


heard of it but...so grilling allows a Caramelization of the fruit and then dry it off,?

sweet. going to look it up and try it, curious as to the taste.
posted by clavdivs at 9:31 PM on February 7, 2021


Can we not all just enjoy delicious grilled fruit without having to make it into a burger?
posted by 3j0hn at 10:46 PM on February 7, 2021 [1 favorite]


I'm sure I will like this. A couple years ago I had poke with watermelon marinated in sesame oil in place of the fish. It looked just like raw ahi and tasted, frankly, more delicious. I was early in a pregnancy and very picky, and it was a revelation.

I'll try to remember this when it's grilling/watermelon season here!
posted by potrzebie at 1:01 AM on February 8, 2021 [2 favorites]


I'm intrigued... Also, perfect opportunity to pickle the rind as a side/condiment... Snout-to-tail watermelon!
posted by kleinsteradikaleminderheit at 2:37 AM on February 8, 2021 [3 favorites]


Can we not all just enjoy delicious grilled fruit without having to make it into a burger?

Um, sure! Just like you always have the rest of your life.
posted by JHarris at 3:04 AM on February 8, 2021 [3 favorites]


This is one of those concepts, once stated, seems self-evident. So obvious and exciting an idea!
posted by eustatic at 4:09 AM on February 8, 2021


Add this to things I’d like to try along with the recipe for making prosciutto out of a radish. Apparently that recipe sleuthily won a charcuterie competition. Also grilled salad is amazing. Just cut a head of romaine or whatever in half, brush with oil and give it a good char. Chop it up with a simple vinaigrette.
posted by misterpatrick at 7:47 AM on February 8, 2021 [5 favorites]


I love when the meat alternatives thing turns to simple surprising vegetable/fruit preparations instead of vague patty mush or all seitan all the time. That radish prosciutto is something I have to try! There's also watermelon ham, carrot hot dogs and carrot lox.

It's so much more fun to cook unexpected stuff like this than any old meat preparation too so I end up doing more vegetarian days. There's a delight to it that gets you out of a cooking rut.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:06 AM on February 8, 2021


I had versions of this all over the place in restaurants in the early 2000s, it just wasn't styled as a "burger," it was more like a burlier version of menu items in the vein of melon with prosciutto or roasted beets with feta. Or in salad terms, it was comparable to a grilled romaine wedge versus a loose-leaf salad. (The most memorable grilled watermelon I had was wrapped in speck.)
posted by desuetude at 9:20 AM on February 8, 2021


WHY are you leading me down a grilling rabbit-hole in early February?
This is some kind of internet crime.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:30 AM on February 8, 2021 [8 favorites]


That looks boss, and I will definitely be trying it once we're out of exposed-skin-freezes-in-minutes season here.

Also, grill your pineapple in spears rolled in vanilla then pepper flakes.
posted by Kreiger at 9:42 AM on February 8, 2021 [1 favorite]


Who is so cruel that they would burn J-Slice, that fun-loving guy, to death?!
posted by wenestvedt at 10:53 AM on February 8, 2021 [1 favorite]


I've been eyeing a recipe in the Bob's Burgers cookbook that calls for grilled watermelon as a topping for a burger. I think this will have to happen.
posted by tvgraphicsguy at 10:58 AM on February 8, 2021 [1 favorite]


Oh my god learning about J-Slice has just turned my day right around
posted by jason_steakums at 11:37 AM on February 8, 2021 [2 favorites]


Unlike Charlie The Tuna, a mascot being asked to be eaten, J-Slice actually eats watermelon while being a watermelon! Cannibal watermelon marketing mascot! *flailing Kermit arms*
posted by hippybear at 3:29 PM on February 8, 2021


Have none of you ever had char-grilled pineapple?

This, plus I am always so confused by people's food silos. Like, I can't think of how many times I've thrown something on the grill just because I already had coals going and why waste them, or this half jar of pickles? I get that everyone here isn't 'Merican but are there some hitherto-undiscovered big chunks of the US where watermelon season and grilling season aren't essentially the same season? I'm reminded of that time someone didn't believe that pepper cookies were a thing.
posted by aspersioncast at 5:10 PM on February 8, 2021


I am always so confused by people's food silos.

Well, everyone I know stores their food in pantries, so I'm not sure what you're on about.
;)
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:07 PM on February 8, 2021


This is most definitely something I want to try.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:55 PM on February 8, 2021 [1 favorite]


Some people sneer at halloumi, saying it is just salty cheese.

To them I say this:

ZOMFG it is salty cheese!!
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 3:51 AM on February 9, 2021 [1 favorite]


This seemed familiar to me, and I found it. During his Minimalist era at the NYT, Mark Bittman threw a melon on the barbie in 2011. Here are the grilled vegetation recipes from that piece:

Vietnamese-Style Portobello Mushrooms
Watermelon Burgers With Cheese
Curry-Rubbed Sweet-Potato Planks
Teriyaki Cabbage Steaks
Chili-Rubbed Jicama Steaks With Queso Fresco
Miso-Glazed Eggplant Slices

(I used the page's share link feature which seems to bypass the NYT Cooking paywall.)
posted by conscious matter at 10:32 AM on February 9, 2021 [2 favorites]


OK, I was in the grocery store, saw some watermelon and bought it. I just now grilled a piece, put it on a slice of orange-cranberry bread slathered in mayonnaise, and consumed it. It was very good.
posted by acrasis at 9:35 AM on February 13, 2021 [2 favorites]


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