Comments on: Languishing

Languishing

treepour — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 11:46:49 -0800

Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you're muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021. (SLNYT)

By: rude.boy

rude.boy — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 11:58:21 -0800

excellent article. in related news, my favorite line from the january man is spoken by alan rickman: "just languish there darling". now i know what that means! thanks!!

By: lextex

lextex — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:02:50 -0800

I lost my job in December, and my search for one is exceedingly excruciating. I feel like someone removed all of my skin, and punched me in the chest....but I'm still feeling better than I was when I was "working" remotely with a bunch of people who acted like COVID didn't exist and wanted to plan in person events and conduct business as usual. That made me languish so hard.

By: bleep

bleep — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:05:11 -0800

In psychology, we think about mental health on a spectrum from depression to flourishing. Flourishing is the peak of well-being: You have a strong sense of meaning, mastery and mattering to others. Depression is the valley of ill-being: You feel despondent, drained and worthless. At first this made me feel defensive because I was like uhhhhhh some of us who have felt like this every day of our lives could have informed you "depressed or thriving?" is not a valid framework for modeling the human experience. Like why is this being treated as a revelation, that everyone who isn't depressed might also not be thriving either, why does it take everyone experiencing the same thing at the same time for it to be noticed & named?? Why have I been on my own with this for so long? And then i thought, eh, how else do you expect it to happen? It's better for people to read this now than not at all, I guess. Even though with the lack of commuting & travel I've been healthier, more rested, more at peace than ever. For the first time I'm actually not languishing at the first & only period where it could be understood.

By: mhoye

mhoye — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:06:35 -0800

"Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky Like a patient etherized upon a table; Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets, The muttering retreats Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells: Streets that follow like a tedious argument Of insidious intent To lead you to an overwhelming question ... Oh, do not ask, "What is it?" Let us go and make our visit." The Love Song Of J Alfred Prufrock, 1915. So, basically that except instead of the going out to hotels and restaurants we're wearing masks and standing two meters apart.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:17:20 -0800

...it might be the dominant emotion of 2021. 2021? I've felt like this for the last 30 years or so.

By: polymodus

polymodus — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:24:59 -0800

It's better for people to read this now than not at all, I guess I have often thought it is ironic that in an unjust and unequal world, the burden of repair and health largely falls on the already traumatized rather than those who can carry on oblivious to it, etc.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:52:17 -0800

This was great, and thanks for posting it. I was reading a lot of the desert fathers in the last year and spent a long time meditating on acedia, which is similar, though not quite the same thing. It was badly translated along the way as sloth, and so came to generally mean laziness. The original understanding has been recovered, since acedia can also manifest as a sort of busyness about inconsequential things. Usually affecting the monks in the mid-day heat - they were the desert fathers, after all - acedia came to be called the "noonday devil." Interestingly enough, the prescribed remedy for the monks was similar to the 'flow' advice mentioned in the article.

By: tzikeh

tzikeh — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:18:02 -0800

Anyone have a link that doesn't require an NYT subscription?

By: Mr. Yuck

Mr. Yuck — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:22:36 -0800

I have been really trying to pause and inject some warmth into every interaction I have with strangers this last year. I think it goes viral if you do it right. I just spent 45 minutes talking to the woman who cleans the showers at the truck stop. She obviously hadn't had a good talk in a while. I know a lot of things I didn't and so does she. That's how you fight this. Time and care. Private browsing in Firefox got me right in to the article.

By: nevercalm

nevercalm — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:51:28 -0800

This x1000. I've spent so much time all alone with my....plants.

By: RonButNotStupid

RonButNotStupid — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:51:49 -0800

So what if we're all languishing? It's been a massively shitty year for everyone. While coping mechanisms are appreciated, I think it's a little disingenuous to frame the solution in terms of One Weird Trick That Will Make Everything Better. It's a friggin' pandemic. I think we're allowed to lack purpose and be a little less productive.

By: widdershins

widdershins — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:56:11 -0800

This article hit me hard when I read it yesterday - it is exactly how I've been feeling. My family is healthy and safe and I'm still gainfully employed, so I have nothing to complain about. And yet - I feel so tired. And isolated. I want to reach out to my friends, but inertia grabs me and pulls me back down. I can't face yet. another. zoom. call; I can barely deal with them for work. I'm not exactly depressed, and I'm not exactly burned out. But I am not exactly doing that great, either.

By: potrzebie

potrzebie — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:56:22 -0800

C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I

By: Sheydem-tants

Sheydem-tants — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 13:58:29 -0800

Gah, "flow." No such thing for some of us neurodivergent folk out here. Yes, I've tried meditation. Sorry but it just irritates me whenever that word comes up. Good news: I haven't had to achieve a flow state to escape a more or less permanent state of acedia. What helped the most was not having to sit in an office fulltime anymore. That stopped well before the pandemic hit. I hope I never have to do that again.

By: bowtiesarecool

bowtiesarecool — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 14:11:29 -0800

widdershins, you and me both. As privileged as could be, pretty introverted so in theory at least getting to work from home should be a real treat, granted I have a lot of underlying health/psych problems but even so. Languishing so hard. Near-terminal state of languish and everything has turned so brownish-gray that I'm not really sure how to constructively come out of it, once I and all the people I care about are all antibodied-up. It's hard to even feel excited about such a time.

By: chavenet

chavenet — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 14:19:09 -0800

tzikeh: "Anyone have a link that doesn't require an NYT subscription?" Here you go.

By: MonkeyToes

MonkeyToes — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 14:19:21 -0800

Link thanks to the Wayback Machine.

By: roolya_boolya

roolya_boolya — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 14:35:25 -0800

Interesting article, thanks for posting. I hadn't thought of gaming and netflix binges as shortcuts to flow state before. I went through a heavy gaming binge a few weeks ago but more recently I've been in such a deep languish I can't even muster the enthusiasm for that.

By: tzikeh

tzikeh — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 16:40:10 -0800

Thanks, chavenet!

By: treepour

treepour — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 17:00:07 -0800

Thanks for the non-paywalled links, chavnet and MonkeyToes. If and when I post a SLNYT thing again, I'll make a point to figure out how to do that.