August 15, 2002

11:34 AM

Disgraced stock analyst embarks on second career:Steve Harmon (who you might have seen on CNBC) has fallen from respectability and is now trying his hand at writing a science fiction thriller. The first two chapters of his upcoming novel -- Hybrids -- are online. Unfortunately, Harmon's not a good writer, and his effort is entertaining only as "good God, this is awful." I'm guessing he misses the spotlight and figured a novel would be his way back in. (from Tech Investor)
posted by kurumi (20 comments total)

In other news, Dogstar is a terrible band, and Cool As Ice is a horrible movie.
posted by Fabulon7 at 11:38 AM on August 15, 2002

There just wasn't a market for his Animorphs fan fiction.

I kid because I hate.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:43 AM on August 15, 2002

Interesting in a "Where are They Now?" kind of way.
posted by vacapinta at 11:45 AM on August 15, 2002

Stanford University’s large lecture hall filled rapidly, listeners elbowed and pardoned their way to get as close as possible to the podium down in the center of the room.

When the first sentence of your first chapter is a run-on, that bodes ill.
posted by gottabefunky at 11:57 AM on August 15, 2002

It's only downhill from there, gottabefunky:

"Sunlight betrayed his entrance first as the door peeled open and the bright outside light pierced the hall's low contrasts as the door swung open with a creak that spoke of decades of educational use. "

Yikes.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:03 PM on August 15, 2002

This is a perfect example of the don't know anything sci-thriller, fake science poo poo genre that gives sci-fi a bad name. Have I mentioned that it sucks?
posted by Divine_Wino at 12:09 PM on August 15, 2002

"His face spelled relief upon seeing Cormac take a seat near the stage."
What more can I say!
The Eye of Argon can sleep peacefully, though. Its might is still unchallenged.
posted by tingley at 12:11 PM on August 15, 2002

I once interviewed for a web job at e-harmon. They offered me a good salary and stock options. The mood of the company was upbeat. The CTO crowed about being in on the Palm IPO. Money was flying out the door to a MarchFirst-style company, which was putting together one of the uglier web sites I've ever seen. Now whenever I see his name I am so glad I didn't take that job...
posted by sbgrove at 12:12 PM on August 15, 2002

tingley--I dunno, some of that is classic.

Small rodents scampered about, occupying themselves in the daily accomplishments of their dismal lives.

Now that is beautiful.
posted by Fabulon7 at 12:16 PM on August 15, 2002

"His face spelled relief"

Wait a minute, I though R-O-L-A-I-D-S spelled relief.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:16 PM on August 15, 2002

Mwahahaha. Someone enter this in the Bulwer-Lytton, quick!

Thanks to summer body heat almost made the room unbearable but few people noticed the slight discomfort.

The unbearable slight discomfort?

...the door swung open with a creak that spoke of decades of educational use.

It was an erudite creak, a creak that had read Faust in the original German, and could calculate the total entropy of any closed system from first principles.

His face spelled relief upon seeing Cormac take a seat near the stage.

R-O-L-A-I-D-S?

Oh, it just goes on and on.
posted by rusty at 12:17 PM on August 15, 2002

mr_crash_davis: Jinx!
posted by rusty at 12:17 PM on August 15, 2002

I would think that FICTION would be this guy's strong point.
posted by rrtek at 12:20 PM on August 15, 2002

I wonder how many Mefites are professional writers? Those of us that are, this has to make you cringe even as you can't help savaging it. Like a wolf pack turning on the weakest - you only hope that you aren't next...

Except, of course, Harmon isn't one of us. I assume.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:22 PM on August 15, 2002

"the precarious dizzy height and ballet of life and death"
I read that about four times in a row, and it made me woozy.
posted by Fabulon7 at 12:29 PM on August 15, 2002

Oh, I don't know, gotta: it's sort of nice to know that, no matter how bad I am in comparison to good writers, I had more natural talent at the age of ten than either of these guys.
he said with a really long, unweildy sentence
posted by kavasa at 12:33 PM on August 15, 2002

This is about computing and communication power, where something as simple as your home PC or cell phone can make you money, run your home, balance your checkbook, plan your vacation.

Okay, this is really just an elaborate piece of spam, isn't it?
posted by WolfDaddy at 12:35 PM on August 15, 2002

To see an example of Steve's stock "insight" (which people had to pay for, mind you), check out his portfolio on SI for his year 2000 recommendations.
posted by phatboy at 1:04 PM on August 15, 2002

Many, many people need a more finely-tuned sense of shame. Mr. Harmon is one of them.
posted by aramaic at 3:22 PM on August 15, 2002

It really is amazing; the man is nearly illiterate. Still, none of his sentences is any worse than the worst in, say, American Psycho. Perhaps Mr. Harmon will enjoy a second career as a Based On A Story By credit in Hollywood.
posted by damehex at 4:38 PM on August 15, 2002