Cleveland Baseball Team Renames Itself
July 23, 2021 8:23 AM   Subscribe

And in this round of the Professional Sports Teams With Racist Names Choose New Names Draft, for the 2022 season and onward, the Cleveland baseball team selects "The Guardians." Atlanta, you are on the clock.
posted by DirtyOldTown (97 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
"Guardians" sounds more like an eSports team than a Baseball team to me.

That said, the pro baseball team of Fubon, Taiwan, took notice.
posted by i used to be someone else at 8:28 AM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


Also if Atlanta fans could stop with the super racist, super offensive gesture and song they do, that would be great.
posted by cooker girl at 8:28 AM on July 23, 2021 [19 favorites]


It bears mention that, much as they did when they retired the "Chief Wahoo" logo, the team is allowing itself a grace period to sell a shitload of offensive merch in the leadup to the switchover.

So... "doing the right thing" but leaving some latitude to cash in on the wrong thing for a few extra months, just for the cash.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:28 AM on July 23, 2021 [13 favorites]


Kind of wish they'd gone for the 'Cleveland Rocks' instead.
posted by Kikujiro's Summer at 8:32 AM on July 23, 2021 [68 favorites]


Article does not mention that the team failed to choose the correct name, the Cleveland Spiders
posted by saturday_morning at 8:32 AM on July 23, 2021 [36 favorites]


Personally I'd hoped for the Cleveland Washington Football Teams but I guess they decided to go in a different direction.
posted by ZaphodB at 8:32 AM on July 23, 2021 [42 favorites]


There was apparently at least a little discussion of reclaiming an actual team name that preceded the offending moniker, "The Naps." And I think if they really wanted to connect with Gens X, Y, and Z, that would have shown real insight.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2021 [8 favorites]


The official announcement, narrated by Tom Hanks.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 8:35 AM on July 23, 2021 [5 favorites]


josh grubbs @JoshuaGrubbsPhD
TBH, The Guardians is much more authentically Cleveland than most jokesters on this website understand

These four statues--The Guardians of Transportation--are absolute icons in the city and familiar to anyone who has any sort of roots in the area
https://twitter.com/JoshuaGrubbsPhD/status/1418571022819807234

[includes photos of the four statues]
posted by Ahmad Khani at 8:41 AM on July 23, 2021 [58 favorites]


I think embracing your city's cool public art is a good move, and I like this name.

10 Cool Things You Should Know About the Guardians of Traffic Statues Since You Might Be Rooting for the Guardians Soon (warning, link is to a slideshow, sigh, but has some cool pictures)

I think the Cleveland Spiders would also be a good choice, but I like spiders and a lot of people really do not.
posted by the primroses were over at 8:41 AM on July 23, 2021 [19 favorites]


This is great. Switching to an orientalist statue is a choice one could criticize. But, it's far better than it could have been. Cheers!
posted by eotvos at 8:42 AM on July 23, 2021


This is awesome. I admit I had never heard of the Guardians of Traffic before, but now I want every sports team to be named after Art Deco sculpture.

I wish the team had also updated its colors and typefaces -- so many teams are some combination of red, white, and blue -- but this is still progress.
posted by Cash4Lead at 8:43 AM on July 23, 2021 [8 favorites]


I take it the new mascot will be Groot?
posted by Ber at 8:44 AM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


Does Cleveland feel some kind of strong connection to Tom Hanks? Why is he saying "we" when talking about Cleveland?

Seems like they should be updating their Twitter account names for this...
posted by trig at 8:44 AM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


Does Cleveland feel some kind of strong connection to Tom Hanks?

He got his start there, at the Great Lakes Theater Festival.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:49 AM on July 23, 2021 [13 favorites]


Today, on "Twitter Is a Free App":
@RichLowry: And just like that, the [old team name] adopt the dumbest, most pointless name in major professional sports

@ShawnHils: there are two teams named after socks.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:52 AM on July 23, 2021 [94 favorites]


At last.
posted by Gelatin at 9:00 AM on July 23, 2021


I like that it rhymes with and has the same cadence as the old name.
posted by aubilenon at 9:06 AM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


Clearly the dumbest team name is in the AL West, as The Los Angeles Angels translates to The The Angels Angels.

Although when they play Cleveland now, it will be a Guardians-Angels game.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:07 AM on July 23, 2021 [55 favorites]


Um. That's "The The Angels Angels of Anaheim", thank you very much.

So it's the The The Angels Angels of Home by the Santa Ana River.
posted by hwyengr at 9:17 AM on July 23, 2021 [25 favorites]


Man, knowing the backstory on the statues, and seeing how they literally flank the bridge leading to the baseball field, makes a ho-hum name come alive with deeper symbolism. I wish this connection had been drawn out in more detail in the official announcement video. That seems like a missed opportunity.

But, I anticipate every pre-game show being peppered with references to the statues, and promotional materials will show the field with the statues in the picture like this, so folks will figure it out soon enough.
posted by darkstar at 9:18 AM on July 23, 2021 [15 favorites]


I've seen those crossing the bridge but never knew they were A Thing.
posted by hypnogogue at 9:18 AM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]




This article shows all the new logos, including one that has the wings from the statue's helmet flanking a baseball. It's nice! As a native Clevelander, I feel quite happy about this choice.
posted by merriment at 9:29 AM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


Switching to an orientalist statue is a choice one could criticize.

I'm not an art historian, so maybe I'm missing something, but they're Art Deco statues with pretty clear Greco-Roman influence. The figures are wearing laurel wreaths and winged helmets in the style of Hermes or Mercury.
posted by jedicus at 9:30 AM on July 23, 2021 [47 favorites]


The Cleveland Guardians have been a men's flat track roller derby league since at least 2016.

From what I understand, they did give their blessing to the baseball team to use the name.
posted by Lucinda at 9:31 AM on July 23, 2021 [9 favorites]


It's very tricky to come up with a pro sports team name that sounds like it belongs. Generally they just get repeated enough that they eventually sound "right" and any change to them sounds "wrong." (And the change will sound way, way more "wrong" if you grew up with it, of course.)

So while "Cleveland Guardians" doesn't sound "right" to me yet, I think it was a masterstroke to choose a name which has meaning to locals, but where that meaning is unknown to non-locals. It basically puts folks who would be knee-jerk opposed to the change in the position to be knee-jerk defenders of the new name. That's awesome.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:35 AM on July 23, 2021 [37 favorites]


This great news and a great choice. Way to go, Cleveland!
posted by cupcakeninja at 9:36 AM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


Maybe they can get the Space Force to come out and do a pregame show?
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:36 AM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


This is so great. Yet another MetaFilter thread where I get to peek at a topic I know nothing about (sports, and team names) and find out about something extremely cool and beautiful. I love those statues, and I'd never heard of them before, and now I'll have a lovely image in my head whenever I hear people talking about the Guardians.

Well done, Cleveland. (And thanks, MeFites, for all the links to info about the statues! And thanks, DirtyOldTown, for posting this! I'd seen and skipped the headlines; I appreciate the MeFi take.)
posted by kristi at 9:44 AM on July 23, 2021 [21 favorites]


I mean as long as they are appropriating something public / built by local government fine by me
posted by The Ted at 9:45 AM on July 23, 2021


Fuckin' A and more than about time.
posted by cortex at 9:49 AM on July 23, 2021


Time from “we’re changing the name” to “here’s the new name”: 8 months.

The Washington NFL franchise made its “we’re changing the name” announcement 12 months ago and now says it will announce its new name in early 2022, allowing for at least ten more months of inaction. Great job, Dan Snyder. Cleveland finished in 8 months what you’re apparently going to take at least 18 to do.
posted by fedward at 10:00 AM on July 23, 2021 [4 favorites]


Great job, Dan Snyder. Cleveland finished in 8 months what you’re apparently going to take at least 18 to do.

I am no fan of Snyder, I wish the league would kick his ass out of ever being able to be associated with the NFL ever again. However, they took the right step of dropping the old moniker and not waiting for a new name before they did so. That old racist name is fading into obscurity much faster this way. It doesn't really matter how long it takes to get a new name as long as they've finally dropped the old one.
posted by azpenguin at 10:04 AM on July 23, 2021 [11 favorites]


I wish the Washington football team would change their names to the Redbones.
First, Redbone is a breed of dog, so it is not proprietary.
Second, it sounds sort of rough and rowdy (to me at least: red bone, dude).
Third, it fits in their song perfectly.
Fourth, (getting the rights) they could use "Come and Get Your Love" as a stadium song, which is a proper way to honor Native Americans.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:16 AM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


Did Walt Disney Pictures approve this? I mean, the first time they see a "Cleveland Guardians of the Galaxy" reference, the mouse is going to pounce. Just sayin'.
posted by grimjeer at 10:16 AM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


I think "Guardians" is a nice name.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:19 AM on July 23, 2021


Plato approves.
posted by biogeo at 10:19 AM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


I really, really want their mascot to be a giant, stone-faced art deco statue guy, just like the actual Guardians of Traffic. No smiling, happy mascot for the Guardians. It's gotta be stoic and forboding.

Also, I find it interesting that they managed to keep 5/7 of the letters from their old name. Just swapped out the "In" for a "Guar".
posted by mhum at 10:24 AM on July 23, 2021 [13 favorites]


Guardians of Traffic? Great that it's got history, but that sounds just proportionally less terrible.
posted by The_Vegetables at 10:27 AM on July 23, 2021


Dammit, those statues are so cool, and the name and logo so good with that background, that it's putting a real damper on my "by why not the Cleveland River Fires?" jokes.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:27 AM on July 23, 2021 [13 favorites]


Should definitely have featured the statues in the video.

Also, given that 8 months is now the official time allowed to change a name, does this mean they're Washington Football Team for now and evermore?
posted by MattWPBS at 10:29 AM on July 23, 2021


FWIW, Cleveland is also the home of several units of the US Coast Guard, so the name can serve double duty...
posted by suelac at 10:29 AM on July 23, 2021 [4 favorites]


I wish the Washington football team would change their names to the Redbones.

Uh please consult Urban Dictionary for why that idea is not gonna work and also why you may not want to continue to promote it publicly.
posted by saladin at 10:30 AM on July 23, 2021 [25 favorites]


"Cleveland Guardians" is also the name of a roller derby team (which may be defunct, it's hard to tell), and I saw on Twitter that they were at clevelandguardians.com, but right now when I go to that domain nothing loads. Seems like the baseball team should have worked that out ahead of time...
posted by madcaptenor at 10:37 AM on July 23, 2021


They absolutely positively must replace the mascot race with a "Guardians Race" shown on the Jumbotron.

Cut to a live cam of the motionless statues and play the Chariots of Fire theme for thirty seconds and then just flash the word "TIE!!!!!"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:43 AM on July 23, 2021 [23 favorites]


s/In/Guar/g
posted by djeo at 10:47 AM on July 23, 2021 [6 favorites]


The Washington Football will be the new name. This allows the people who liked the old name to keep on calling them by their old name.
posted by interogative mood at 10:47 AM on July 23, 2021


The Cleveland Baseballs
posted by dagosto at 10:50 AM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


Just swapped out the "In" for a "Guar".

I move to make GWAR the official house band of the Guardians.
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:53 AM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


This new name is deeply offensive to all residents of Ga'Hoole.
posted by gurple at 10:54 AM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


At least it's not the Ohioans, like the Houston Texans.
posted by Beholder at 10:54 AM on July 23, 2021 [4 favorites]


So not the Cleveland Colonizers, then?
posted by Johnny Assay at 11:04 AM on July 23, 2021


A few years ago, a team executive said about the Indians name change, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." That was the "aha!" moment I guess.
posted by AugustWest at 11:05 AM on July 23, 2021 [12 favorites]


Given its proud maritime history, you’d think Cleveland Steamers would have won out.
posted by dr_dank at 11:06 AM on July 23, 2021 [9 favorites]




There are 8 Guardian statues, not 4, in case anyone else was confused.

I look forward to the inevitable tradition of Cleveland fans throwing tiny covered wagons onto the field when their team wins.
posted by oulipian at 11:12 AM on July 23, 2021 [7 favorites]


Clearly the dumbest team name is in the AL West, as The Los Angeles Angels translates to The The Angels Angels.

I dunno. "Washington Nationals" translates to "The manor of Wassa's descendants Nationals" even though that's not even the same continent where Wassa lived! Likewise, even if we accept the Florida Marlins just naming themselves after a fish instead of claiming to be fish, they aren't remotely covered in flowers but instead wear a regulation baseball uniform.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:15 AM on July 23, 2021 [4 favorites]


“@ShawnHils: there are two teams named after socks.”

There are three teams named after socks: Red Sox, White Sox, and, at the other side of Ohio on I 71, the Cincinnati Reds (née Redlegs, née Red Stockings).
posted by plastic_animals at 11:20 AM on July 23, 2021 [14 favorites]


They absolutely positively must replace the mascot race with a "Guardians Race" shown on the Jumbotron.

At some point there has to be video of enormous, mecha-like moving statues, slugging massively at an incoming meteor.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 11:37 AM on July 23, 2021 [12 favorites]


7th inning, music...

Summoning the Master
Call forth his form most vile
Champing mass of questing flesh
Protoplasmic pile
An ancient hunger, never filled
Until the universe is killed
The endless host of merging soul that's
Sucked into the feeding hole


The Cleveland Gwardians are going to be the best team.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:05 PM on July 23, 2021 [7 favorites]


Not Grauniads?
posted by beagle at 12:10 PM on July 23, 2021 [14 favorites]


Man, this turned into a blaseball thread so slowly I almost didn't notice.
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:22 PM on July 23, 2021 [5 favorites]


I'm disappointed that I didn't find "Cleveland Grovers" already.
posted by ensign_ricky at 12:30 PM on July 23, 2021 [14 favorites]


They absolutely positively must replace the mascot race with a "Guardians Race" shown on the Jumbotron.

Cut to a live cam of the motionless statues and play the Chariots of Fire theme for thirty seconds and then just flash the word "TIE!!!!!"


I like the name change, but if they did this, I would consider it the best move in baseball.
posted by gladly at 12:59 PM on July 23, 2021 [7 favorites]


I was fully on board with the Municipals - I even bought a really nice EFF hat! Which I will definitely still wear. Anything is an improvement, though - and those giant statues are doing the heavy lifting to make "Guardians" work.
posted by god hates math at 1:18 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


The official announcement, narrated by Tom Hanks.

I've tried watching that clip 3 times now, but can't get past the part 10 seconds in where he says Cleveland is the city of fire and water. He doesn't sound like he's making a joke, but I keep laughing.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:20 PM on July 23, 2021 [5 favorites]


Atlanta briefly had a hockey team named after our state bird, the Atlanta Thrashers, and I think that name is so awesome and perfect (and in keeping with the bird theme of the NBA and NFL teams). There was also, even longer ago, a hockey team called the Atlanta Flames, evoking, well, you know, and also the city seal. So many good names, and yet our baseball team, which isn't even in Atlanta anymore, is sticking with the terrible one.
posted by hydropsyche at 1:55 PM on July 23, 2021 [9 favorites]


It saddens me that they let the opportunity to call themselves 'The Cleveland Riverfires' slip past them.
posted by jamjam at 1:55 PM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


The photos in that slideshow are amazing, especially the ones with the workers.

(As a New Yorker, I think the Washington team should be renamed the Irvings. Their mascot can be the Headless Horseman.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:18 PM on July 23, 2021 [6 favorites]


I'll admit that right now Guardians doesn't roll off the tongue, but I'm 99% certain it will in a year. And I might not be a Cleveland native but I lived there for 9 years and I immediately knew what they were referencing, and I think it's a great reference that most locals will immediately understand. It's a piece of Cleveland history that is still around and pretty visible, and they are right next to the stadium.
posted by Tehhund at 2:38 PM on July 23, 2021 [8 favorites]


Look upon my stagecoach and despair, tiny mortal.

I found this identity redesign, done for a contest a year ago, thoroughly convincing. I like some of it better than what's actually been chosen.
posted by Western Infidels at 2:54 PM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


Took their sweet time but at least it's done and might just ratchet up the pressure on prominent holdouts such as Kansas City, Chicago, and Atlanta Cobb County. And it might even earn them just enough good karma to finally overcome whatever curse has kept them from winning a World Series for almost 73 years, currently the longest title drought in Major League Baseball.
posted by hangashore at 3:14 PM on July 23, 2021 [5 favorites]


Speaking of holdouts, the Portland Winterhawks Major Junior hockey team just announced a change in their logo from the same racist caricature that the Chicago hockey team uses to a Mount Hood-inspired hawk. Now it's Chicago's turn to take a hint from Portland and put a bird on it. (Also in major junior hockey: Shawinigan, the Cataractes means "waterfalls", and this logo is not even a little bit a waterfall.)
posted by Superilla at 3:32 PM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


I found this identity redesign, done for a contest a year ago, thoroughly convincing. I like some of it better than what's actually been chosen.


Holy cats, that proposed Guardian head logo is seriously fantastic!
posted by darkstar at 3:54 PM on July 23, 2021 [5 favorites]


FWIW, Cleveland is also the home of several units of the US Coast Guard, so the name can serve double duty...

I believe technically what it is is that we're the command post for USCG District 9, covering all of the Great Lakes and the St. Lawrence Seaway.

(I only know this because I actually worked sound for a couple of "change of command" ceremonies years ago.)

Interestingly enough, the direct responsibility for the waters around Cleveland appears to be under Sector Buffalo.
posted by soundguy99 at 3:56 PM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


As a born, bred and current Clevelander, I'm so excited about this change. I love those statues and I think I might have to take a drive to see them tomorrow.
posted by kathrynm at 4:45 PM on July 23, 2021 [8 favorites]


They will have to keep selling Wahoo merchandise forever, in order to keep the trademark and prevent another party from selling it. If you're not trading with it, you don't have the mark. Like when Brim coffee stopped being produced, another company was able to snipe the abandoned mark away. But that doesn't mean they have to sell large volumes.

I am not big on the Guardians name, I lived a few miles from Cleveland for 5 years, and those statues are not iconic to me. I like Spiders, or Buckeyes, which was the accomplished Negro Leagues team. Still, I have boycotted official Cleveland merchandise for years, and am looking forward to being able to buy it again. Even if the "diamond" C is one of the ugliest things I've ever seen. I really liked the block C.

I remember one time in the 90s when I wore a Chief Wahoo hat to "Cleveland Municipal Lakefront Stadium" (as Tom Hanks calls it) and a Native American person said to me "That hat is offensive". I replied, "I disagree". I hope that man is satisfied that he made the effort to protest, even though it took decades for the change to be made. We'll certainly look back on this and be amazed that anyone could ever name a team "Indians" like it was.
posted by wnissen at 5:23 PM on July 23, 2021


I think big money sports teams spend so long workshopping names these days that they overthink it and pick something that sounds awful the first time you hear it.

The only good recent new team name that I can think of is the New Orleans Pelicans.
posted by zymil at 5:34 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


I think both the Golden Knights and the Kraken are pretty cool new names myself.
posted by Carillon at 5:57 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


The Golden Knights and the Pips.
The Four Seasons Landscapers.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:17 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


At least it's not the Ohioans, like the Houston Texans.

Houston was not even the first NFL team to be called the Texans.

I initially disliked the Guardians name and the logo looked really bad, but having read the history here definitely changed my mind. As always, thanks MeFi! On the mockups, the logo doesn't look nearly as bad.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 7:06 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


I believe technically what it is is that we're the command post for USCG District 9, covering all of the Great Lakes and the St. Lawrence Seaway.

And Coast Guard Civil Engineering Unit Cleveland, which is basically the Corps of Engineers for the Coast Guard.
posted by suelac at 7:32 PM on July 23, 2021 [2 favorites]


Does this mean they need to go back and make new cuts of Major League and Major League II?
posted by Clever User Name at 8:01 PM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


Interestingly, when the original Major League looked for an iconic shot of what Cleveland really is... they decided to open the film with a shot of one of the Guardians.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:07 PM on July 23, 2021 [10 favorites]


There are three teams named after socks: Red Sox, White Sox, and, at the other side of Ohio on I 71, the Cincinnati Reds (née Redlegs, née Red Stockings).

There are sort of four - the Cardinals got their name after they got new uniforms that had cardinal-red trim. (They were also once the Browns, and then when the American League showed up that name got revived, but the former St. Louis Browns are the Orioles now.)
posted by madcaptenor at 8:26 PM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


I think both the Golden Knights and the Kraken are pretty cool new names myself.


I think the Medieval Times style pageantry associated with the Golden Knights is inspired, and but the name itself is just a mess. It's the awkward aftermath of a failed attempt to steal the "Black Knights" branding of the US army football team and so much worse than just the "Los Vegas Knights".

I agree that Kraken is objectively the best name of the last few years. The only other decent professional team names I can find come from the NSWL and WNBA e.g. Orland Pride (2015), Dallas Wings (2016), and Los Vegas Aces (2018).

MLS seems to be on a quest to field the worst possible team names.
posted by zymil at 9:42 PM on July 23, 2021 [1 favorite]


Like when Brim coffee stopped being produced, another company was able to snipe the abandoned mark away. But that doesn't mean they have to sell large volumes.

As long as there's enough left to "fill it to the rim!" God, I'm old.

I recently went and looked at my old high school's web site. When I was there we were the "Raiders," with a pretty offensive cartoon Native mascot. I remember just before I graduated, they changed the mascot to a more dignified portrait of a Seneca man in reasonable accurate historical headdress. Now, they still use the "Raiders" name but with no mascot (we were such a small school that we never had a costumed mascot; he just appeared on print materials*). If for no other reason than I want a better environment for the kids who came after me, I hope they'll eventually change the name, too. They're not fooling anyone with this whole "'Raiders' can be from any culture" BS.


*We used to joke that we we couldn't have a marching band because by the time they finished the intro to "The Stars and Stripes Forever" they'd have marched into the next township.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:49 PM on July 23, 2021 [3 favorites]


As far as the Kraken, I gotta believe it’s a massive missed opportunity (on par with not putting a Trogdor arm on the S). I mean, the Seattle Sasquatch was right there! And, as years go by, the inevitable affectionate shortening of the name ensues, and there you have it:

The Seattle Squatches.
posted by Ghidorah at 2:37 AM on July 24, 2021 [1 favorite]


The Underpants Monster reminded me of how the high school my sister attended used the "Rebels" moniker, complete with a cartoon Johnny Reb and people waving the Confederate battle flag in the bleachers. As if that wasn't bad enough, the school was almost all white. The attendance lines were drawn such that the vast majority of minority kids went to the other high school.

It took until the early 90s for them to decide that it wasn't the best look to have people waving confederate flags in the stands. Even doing that much caused a huge uproar, with grown men and women acting like complete fools, even going so far as to vandalize the school. The whole thing made me take notice of quite how shitty the city was. Luckily, I ended up having to move before high school.
posted by wierdo at 5:31 AM on July 24, 2021 [2 favorites]


DirtyOldTown: “Atlanta, you are on the clock.”
Let the record show that Liberty Media has earned an entry into The Book of Grudges for not changing the team name to The Hammers when they could have brought Henry his flowers before he was gone.
posted by ob1quixote at 6:55 AM on July 24, 2021 [6 favorites]


Clearly the dumbest team name is in the AL West, as The Los Angeles Angels translates to The The Angels Angels.

I dunno. "Washington Nationals" translates to "The manor of Wassa's descendants Nationals" even though that's not even the same continent where Wassa lived!


If we're talking worst baseball team names, I think special recognition needs to go to the defunct National League team the Brooklyn Hartfords, a more blatant attempt to claim two markets than the LA Angels of Anaheim.

As far as Atlanta goes, I propose a compromise, they can grandfather in the old name but only if they keep the full name: Boston Braves.
posted by dances with hamsters at 8:17 AM on July 24, 2021


As long as they get the rights to use Cleveland's greatest adopted son as one of their mascots, I'm in.
posted by delfin at 9:14 AM on July 24, 2021


I always truly enjoy baseball and baseball-related discussions on MeFi. It's nice to get to discuss sports without the absolute mouth breathers in sports site comment sections.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:33 PM on July 24, 2021 [2 favorites]


Seeing all the same rehashed "lol your river caught fire" (so did a lot of rivers, look it up) / Cleveland Steamers jokes here reminds me of all the times I've had to listen to the same inane jokes when I say I'm from Cleveland. As such, I'm on board with a name that keys into defending the honor of the City and its people as I, too, am a Cleveland Guardian.
posted by miguelcervantes at 11:38 AM on July 25, 2021 [8 favorites]


I’ve seen a good amount of people i tangentially know complaining about the change, using it as a chance to decry wokeness, and fucking hell:

When you’re a kid and you don’t know any better, yes, maybe you developed attachments to things that you didn’t know were based in terrible shit. You were (I was) a kid. You get a pass.

You grow up, and it turns out that the thing you’ve loved since you were a child happens to be hurtful to a lot of people. You have a lot of feelings tied up in how you view the thing (or person, or whatever), but here’s the thing: people are hurt by it. People are negatively impacted by a thing you fancied as a kid.

You can throw a tantrum and sweat up and down how your feelings for (in this case, specifically) a blatantly racist caricature are more important than the dignity of the people it lampoons. You can definitely do that. Or you can realize that the thing you loved was built on degradation and humiliation of living, breathing people, and you can understand that it’s time to put away the things of your childhood, and move the fuck on.

People screamed bloody murder about the Washington Bullets becoming the Wizards, but time went on. Sure, there are almost certainly people still hung up on that, but there are probably a ton of fans who never knew them as anything else. The Bullets have become a part of the team history that people have moved on from, and are more a trivia question or a throwback jersey now than anything else, and that name wasn’t based on turning an oppressed minority into a cartoon for merchandise sales.

To all these knee jerk reactions, I just want to scream: no one is attacking you. No one is condemning you for, as a child, developing an affection to these things. The pushback is that you’re a goddamn adult, and you’re prioritizing your childhood feelings over people who have said, for years, this thing you like is hurtful to me, and I would like to live in a world where I don’t have to see it all the time.

It feels like there are two choices when something like that happens: you feel compassion and empathy and you learn to let go of the thing you didn’t understand to be hateful, or you choose to say that your allegiance to a racist cartoon is more important to you than other human beings. One of these makes you an asshole that people don’t want to talk to. One of these doesn’t.
posted by Ghidorah at 12:43 AM on July 26, 2021 [9 favorites]


I vote for the Atlanta Sugarbakers.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:38 PM on July 26, 2021 [4 favorites]


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