A zeal to dazzle the state of of Maryland - continued
October 16, 2021 4:44 AM   Subscribe

Everything We Know About the Maryland Zebras On the Run | On Aug. 31 three zebras somehow escaped from an 80-acre farm owned by Jerry Holly in Upper Marlboro, a city that is about 21 miles from the White House [Previously]. At first it was believed that five zebras escaped—a trio and a duo—but that turned out to be wrong. Let's get into it:

- Why are there zebras running around Maryland?
- People can own zebras in Maryland?
- Is the state’s climate and landscape even hospitable to them?
- So the zebras broke free in late August and none have been caught?
- How did one of the zebras die?
- I can’t imagine the internet has been quiet about this!
- When do authorities expect to finally capture the zebras?


Whether you want to tweet, make a costume or get the t-shirt, learn the latest about these fugitive free-grazers.
posted by I_Love_Bananas (21 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm curious to know more about who's setting up big game snares on Girl Scout property.

Also, as someone that, for 10+ years, relied on the empty lots + scrub woods of PG County for low rent forest bathing during my work week, I hope they survive and establish a breeding population.

It would be really cool to see a herd of zebras thundering across the vacant retail pad site while I'm walking over to the Wegman's buffet for lunch.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:17 AM on October 16, 2021 [15 favorites]


Unfortunately, people set snares even in places where snares are illegal to kill beavers and coyotes. They set claw traps, too, which in the suburbs is just mind boggling. Both of those species are considered nuisance animals and can be killed basically at any time for any reason, even though they are awesome contributors to local ecological community dynamics. Maybe a zebra getting killed that way will get some attention focused on illegal and unsafe trapping practices.
posted by hydropsyche at 7:44 AM on October 16, 2021 [7 favorites]


A Zeal of Zebras is just lazy alliteration. A Dazzle is vastly better.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:50 AM on October 16, 2021 [10 favorites]


This is really horribly dark but...

A Chain Gang of Zebras? (Sorry I actually like Dazzle better, I was just trying to think of something else matches the patterns - and it would go with "Murder of Crows" thematically.

But yes, Dazzle > Zeal > Chain Gang ...
posted by symbioid at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2021


I want a t-shirt!

Is there a renegade force out there destroying snares and claw traps, hydropsyche? I hope so. I wonder if any work like that needs to be done here in Colorado. Hmm.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 9:02 AM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


I have been reliably informed that there's no way these are zebras. My doctor says they must be horses.
posted by bleep at 9:08 AM on October 16, 2021 [20 favorites]


Become ungovernable - DMV zebra fan art, via twitter
posted by the primroses were over at 9:08 AM on October 16, 2021 [6 favorites]


I'm curious to know more about who's setting up big game snares on Girl Scout property.

Probably just some cadettes earning their poaching badge.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:29 AM on October 16, 2021 [6 favorites]


Some localized Halloween decor on the Hill.

Probably just some cadettes earning their poaching badge.

I don't know what the Girl Scout equivalent of Eagle is, but if you catch and field dress a zebra in suburban PG, you should get it. I can't think of much better training for the weird, hungry, grimy world those girls are going to inherit.
posted by ryanshepard at 10:14 AM on October 16, 2021 [8 favorites]


Leading a dazzle across the Potomac via the 301 bridge should at least get you an orienteering badge.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:55 AM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


I misread the post at first and thought it was 31 zebras; that would have been cool! Especially if there were a few thousand wildebeests to go with them; Serengeti on the Potomac!
posted by TedW at 1:05 PM on October 16, 2021


Time to change the state horse?
And hey, the state sport IS jousting...just sayin, that could look pretty cool.

I'd like to move one alternate universe over, so I can camp out on the beach and watch the feral giraffes of Chincoteague swim across the inlet.
posted by bartleby at 1:29 PM on October 16, 2021 [10 favorites]


Oh Jesus, is this 12 Monkeys and we’re all going to die tomorrow?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:45 PM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


If these turn out to be my final posts I’m good with it.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 2:47 PM on October 16, 2021


Elsewhere in MD, an alligator is evading capture, the second one in the state this year. Hopefully the zebras stay far away.
posted by jenjenc at 4:05 PM on October 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


[main article with no paywall]
posted by bendy at 7:33 PM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


From a tweet in the article: Today August (6) asks me to go fishing before sunset.

Ever you ever wanted a date to ask you to go fishing?
posted by bendy at 7:36 PM on October 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


"immm. what I want to say is, will (you) go rainbow trout fishing with me."
Perhaps if Jack, from Heartland, utterd those eight syllables, his love life would have been a lot smoother.

Baby bison goes wandering in North Carolina town
.
posted by clavdivs at 8:48 PM on October 16, 2021


Sadly, one was killed by an illegal snare trap recently.
posted by amarynth at 7:26 AM on October 17, 2021


GSCNC statement: "We are saddened to learn of the death of one of the escaped zebras on undeveloped land owned by the Girl Scouts..."
posted by candyland at 6:50 AM on October 18, 2021


UPDATE: Escaped zebras’ owner charged with animal cruelty in Maryland
One of the escaped zebras died, and another zebra on the farm was found dead Tuesday

Officials with the Prince George’s Department of Environment, which has taken over the escaped zebra investigation, said in a statement that they are “not impounding the remaining animals housed on the property.” But they said they would look into getting them to other facilities “should the animals be removed.” Maryland’s Natural Resources Police are handling the investigation on the snare trap, which is illegal in the state.

County officials said Wednesday the other two escaped zebras remain on the loose.

posted by I_Love_Bananas at 9:24 AM on October 21, 2021 [2 favorites]


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