Comments on: Comments on 19302

Post number 19302

baylink — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:11:05 -0800

Now here's guy who'll be pretty popular with the ladies: Italian man refuses to stop shtupping woman -- whom he'd just met -- in pool, until she has an orgasm.

By: beth

beth — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:16:49 -0800

Ok, one data point here, but just for the record not every woman in the world wants an orgasm every time. Sometimes the freedom from having to "perform" as it were, is nice. And sometimes (due to medication or other concerns), an orgasm is particularly difficult to achieve (if not impossible), and a lady just wants to let the gentleman finish and then go read a book or something. Your mileage may vary.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:20:36 -0800

WTMI, beth. As for the chivalrous Italian, bravissimo!

By: Grod

Grod — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:21:08 -0800

<snark> MetaFark </snark> Beth, don't go dispelling all our most cherished myths about women :)

By: beth

beth — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:26:17 -0800

Well, seriously, what's so chivalrous about insisting that a woman do something specific before sex is considered over? It might be out of good intentions, but pressure to perform can really take a lot of the fun out of sex. Why do you think it's so common for women to fake orgasms? They just want it to be done with, already.

By: Grod

Grod — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:31:02 -0800

Well, if you want to be serious... I'd have to say the main reason is simply that men don't feel they've had sex unless the have an orgasm, and can't accept it when a woman tells them differently, choosing instead to view it as a negative reflection on their lovemaking skills.

By: Grod

Grod — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:32:08 -0800

doh, should be they have

By: black francis

black francis — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:35:42 -0800

Wow beth, you're breakin' my heart. I always felt like I'd cheated my g/f if I jumped the gun. From a man's point of view (this man's at least) stopping before you reach the finish line, well, sucks. I just always assumed that went for the ladies as well.

By: black francis

black francis — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:37:19 -0800

Guess I always could've asked instead of making assumptions...

By: drstrangelove

drstrangelove — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:38:18 -0800

It's illegal to have sex in a public pool? What's the world coming (no pun intended) to?

By: Grod

Grod — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:42:05 -0800

Yeah, no sex in public pools, churches, where will the madness end?

By: drstrangelove

drstrangelove — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:44:02 -0800

Is there any place where public sex is allowed?

By: donovan

donovan — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:56:43 -0800

men don't feel they've had sex unless the have an orgasm, and can't accept it when a woman tells them differently, choosing instead to view it as a negative reflection on their lovemaking skills. now now, easy on the generalizations . . .

By: dg

dg — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:56:44 -0800

Is there any place where public sex is allowed? Only in private.

By: dg

dg — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 19:59:51 -0800

until she has an orgasm What, just one? Pretty inconsiderate, if you ask me.

By: beth

beth — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:06:14 -0800

I said your mileage may vary. The point is to know what your partner wants, which means that yes, sometimes you have to ask. It's a two-way street, yadda yadda yadda. I'm just saying, don't always assume that the woman has to have an orgasm in order to enjoy the lovemaking, or that going on until she has one (or more) is what she wants, too. It can be sort of oppressive to feel like you have to climax before you're off the hook, so to speak. Especially when the climax itself is quite difficult to achieve, which is common for many women. (And often the difficulty has nothing to do with the man's prowess or lack thereof).

By: drstrangelove

drstrangelove — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:06:51 -0800

Women have orgasms? Sometimes more than one? Man, I keep learning new things all of the time!

By: MiguelCardoso

MiguelCardoso — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:13:14 -0800

Why do you think it's so common for women to fake orgasms? I don't know if all women fake orgasms. In Portugal, for instance, it would be considered silly and slightly demeaning for the man - as if he somehow needed that sort of reassurance. Sex is a lot more honest here. If you come, you come. If you don't, you don't. No big deal. There's certainly no discussion afterwards about "how good it was for you". On the other hand, if the woman wants to come she won't accept not coming and will cajole and indeed badger her lover (caring nothing for his feelings or fatigue) to keep on going or do whatever's needed for her to finally come. Men accept this as part of the deal and do their best to pretend they enjoy it, to help their partners' concentration and get the damn thing over and done with. So if anyone fakes anything, it's the men. Though giggles are frequent and distracting, specially when it's physically obvious the man's ardour is diminished. Mostly, though, people just enjoy the sex. Coming just for the sake of coming is considered a waste of resources and opportunity. Men often give up on a second orgasm when women finally reach their first. Actually they save it for a bit later. Fucking and love-making are far too enjoyable and playful. There are a lot of different names for love-making. Here are some: 1)fodinha(literally "itsy-bitsy fuck"): a sweet, quickish and essentially selfish fuck, undertaken just to assuage a sudden horniness on the part of one of the two lovers. It's a letting-off of steam, generally because there'll be a better opportunity later, and ends when the horny partner comes. 2)foduncha(literally "chunky fuck"): a "see what happens" fuck, where both are keen but not desperate. It ends when whoever comes first comes. 3)fodinha obrigada(literally "thank you fuck"): it's a request fuck. Whoever's eager asks for a compassionate gift-fuck. The partner providing the gift doesn't even try to enjoy it - that's part of the fun. Being a gift, these favours are counted and "owed". 4)fodinha ó-ó(literally "bye-byes fuck"): a fuck exclusively destined to provoke sleep. This one demands mutual orgasms or extreme tiredness, whatever comes first. 5)foda(literally "fuck"): the real thing, violent and tender, long and profoundly satisfying to both. There's certainly no shame in wanting it badly or not wanting it particularly, in coming inadvertently or not being able to come after much effort. It's fun and it makes for a very varied and, above all, friendly, accomplice-style sex life. So I think I know why the Italian guy kept going. Because his lover would have made his life hell if he'd have caved in. Specially if being watched was part of her pleasure. Well that's a comment I certainly didn't think I'd ever make...

By: Grod

Grod — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:19:43 -0800

Miguel, On the other hand, if the woman wants to come she won't accept not coming and will cajole and indeed badger her lover (caring nothing for his feelings or fatigue) to keep on going or do whatever's needed for her to finally come. and other things you say lead me to believe my girlfriend has been lying to me all these years, she's not French, she's Portuguese. as an aside, is there a better translation of your website than the automatic Google one?

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:21:45 -0800

That's fucking awesome, Miguel. *furiously transcribing Portuguese* So, how does one pronounce "ó-ó"? I'm afraid that's going to be the most-used category, at least until the kids are all gone to college.

By: kliuless

kliuless — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:33:24 -0800

OMG timmy, stay away from those people at the deep end. look at me when i'm talking to you lol! keke :)

By: beth

beth — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:42:56 -0800

Wow, the Portuguese are so far ahead of us. That is so cool!

By: baylink

baylink — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:49:43 -0800

Wow... well, *this* wasn't the controversy I expected... ;-) My obvservation, Beth, would be that if "off-the-hook" is within 50 miles of the proper phrase, then those two people oughn't have climbed in the sack in the first place...

By: MiguelCardoso

MiguelCardoso — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 20:59:12 -0800

Crash: it's pronounced "aw aw" and it's a childish, affectionate way of saying sleep, onomatopeic for snoring. It's also the lullaby sound used to put babies to sleep. While I'm at it, here are some other local variants. I should add that none of these are rude or obscene - they're just expressions for shared experiences, used by couples and in everyday conversation between men, women or women and men together. fodinha bom dia or fodinha xi-xi (literally "good morning fuck" or "wee wee fuck"): A lazy, opportunistic fuck, carried out to benefit from waking erections. Bladder pressure is considered to increase pleasure for both men and women. fodinha como-quem-não-quer-a-coisa (literally "a seemingly reluctant fuck, undertaken as if it wasn't really desired"): a "oh come here!" fuck, always carried out just before leaving home, generally due to one or both lovers being attractively dressed. There are strict rules not to muss up make-up or outfits, so it's quite a surgical affair. Very sexy, though and it makes the night last longer as you're not in such a rush to get back home again. fodinha molhada(literally "wet, slippery fuck"): this is essentially a drunken fuck, with little expectation of orgasm. It's undertaken as a form of cuddling, with lots of kissing, groping and talking dirty but no real consummation. It often lasts for hours and is very sexy in a Tao sort of way. Just desserts are postponed till morning. [See fodinha bom dia]. I can't believe every culture doesn't have exact equivalents. The only difference may be the complicity - man and woman (or whatever) are essentially friends and conspirators and enjoy the dirty fun of honesty, laughter and downright selfishness, lust and greed. On preview: No, Beth - it's women who are ahead of all of us. The difference here is that we've learnt to dance to their tune and they, in their gleeful generosity, have allowed us boys to be boys, as long as we play/obey. ;)

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 21:02:26 -0800

Miguel: I notice there is no category for "I just had a big dinner and now I feel like a fuck." Need I add that around here this is a common enough event to be "said" with the eyes. Hmmm spell check wanted to change "fuck" to "duck".

By: Fofer

Fofer — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 21:16:42 -0800

Damn, the Portguese really know how to categorize their sex. And to think Americans have taken it just far enough to differentiate between "fucking" and "making love." Hmm... this thread has really opened my eyes, and tonight's gonna be a foda-ing good night!

By: kindall

kindall — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:00:06 -0800

Women have orgasms? Sometimes more than one? Man, I keep learning new things all of the time! That's about what you'd expect from someone who calls themselves "strangelove."

By: i_am_joe's_spleen

i_am_joe's_spleen — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:01:56 -0800

Hmmm, Miguel. Is this like the Eskimos having lots of words for snow? I must point at that sympathy fucks at least are a well understood concept in the English speaking world, as are quickies.

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:03:14 -0800

I don't know that Americans have gotten it down (so to speak) to a difference between fucking and making love -- most variations these days lump the two into the same category. "Getting laid" pretty much sums it up.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:03:24 -0800

I love Metafilter.

By: beth

beth — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:18:03 -0800

if "off-the-hook" is within 50 miles of the proper phrase, then those two people oughn't have climbed in the sack in the first place... Yeah, well, some of us marry the wrong people and try to stick it out for awhile to try to make things work, and it doesn't work anyway. Shrug. It would be nice to be able to go back into one's life and delete the fucks one wishes one hadn't had.

By: precocious

precocious — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 22:47:38 -0800

Best. Sex. Posts. Ever. I had to.

By: evanizer

evanizer — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 23:19:46 -0800

Miguel, you made me blush! You usually seem so... decorous... I suppose these phrases apply to manly-manly sex as well as heterosexual sex, or do I need to change the word endings? :-)

By: evanizer

evanizer — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 23:27:05 -0800

Y'know, it's been a pretty sexy day here at MetaFilter today, what with this current discussion, the church-defiling sex post, the foreskin fiasco... Wonder if this Italian was circumcised? Maybe we could make it a triple-threat, and have the randy Italian brandishing his uncircumcised equipment in one of these pools. A MeFi trifecta!

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 19 Aug 2002 23:48:06 -0800

Well that does it...bags are packed and the car to JFK airport is waiting. My next post will be from Lisbon... Now let's see there was the fodinha and the Foducha and the fodinha obrigada and the Foda...

By: allaboutgeorge

allaboutgeorge — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 00:12:21 -0800

WTF?

By: beagle

beagle — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 05:54:53 -0800

I thought Miguel was making it all up so I Googled "fodinha", found this Brazilian poem and hit "Translate". Apparently, yes, fucking is to Brazilians as snow is to Eskimos.

By: nickmark

nickmark — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 06:10:39 -0800

Cold, glaring, and streching as far as the eye can see?

By: deathofme

deathofme — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 06:28:45 -0800

The article didn't say if he accomplished his(her?) goal.

By: briank

briank — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 06:57:35 -0800

**calls travel agent looking for next available bookings to Lisbon**

By: NedKoppel

NedKoppel — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 06:58:19 -0800

Marco! Polo! Marco! POLO!!!!!

By: oh posey

oh posey — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 07:16:36 -0800

Suddenly I can't stop saying words starting with the prefix fod. Thanks so much Miguel. You are my hero of the day. A lot of women would never fathom the idea of faking anything by the way. What would be the point? Honesty is as sexy as doing it in water. It makes you so buoyant and all. Word to the Italian man: In a hurry? Think pool jets. :)

By: VelvetHellvis

VelvetHellvis — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 07:26:15 -0800

At least the man follows through on a task until the end.

By: Sapphireblue

Sapphireblue — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 08:20:08 -0800

Bladder pressure is considered to increase pleasure for both men and women. Must disagree. Vehemently. Maybe I'm built differently from the Portuguese...

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 08:32:12 -0800

Miguel: Muito obrigado for some of the most educational comments ever made on MeFi! But... none of these are rude or obscene I always assumed foder was comparable to Spanish joder (or coger if you learned your Spanish in Argentina, as I did), which are definitely rude and obscene. If it's not, what's the obscene equivalent? I mean, surely Portuguese isn't lacking in obscenity; what would you say when you hit your thumb with the hammer?

By: techgnollogic

techgnollogic — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 08:36:40 -0800

Why all the astonishment and category-envy? In the US we get by with quickies, pity fucks, booty calls, "friends with privileges," hook-ups, marathon all-nighters, etc. This sort of thing's GOTTA be universal, to some extent... (spell check suggested "bullfighters" for "all-nighters." heh.)

By: romakimmy

romakimmy — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 09:10:06 -0800

While I cannot compare with Miguel's list as I am not mothertongue Italian and left my dictionary of slang at my flat, here is a small online list of Italian slang. The general connotation can be picked up from the words' derivatives. One they have left out: limonare - as far as I can tell, to shag or make out. I picked it up out of context in a book I was reading and can't find it in my dictionary. From either limone or limonata (lemon/lemonade).

By: Beansidhe

Beansidhe — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 10:40:05 -0800

What about those of us who are routinely multi-orgasmic?

By: soundofsuburbia

soundofsuburbia — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 10:58:28 -0800

Feel free to enjoy yourselves.

By: techgnollogic

techgnollogic — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 11:04:54 -0800

twice... or four or five times.

By: baylink

baylink — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 17:25:32 -0800

And, y'know, posting contact information wouldn't be at all outta line...

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 18:26:11 -0800

"Welcome to our OOL. (notice there's no P in it. Keep it that way)(also, keep your ENIS in your ANTS and out of your ARTNER'S RIVATES) or "Please don't fuck in our pool, we don't swim in your S&M dungeon."

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Tue, 20 Aug 2002 18:27:13 -0800

Wel___ to our pool. Notice there's no... Nah, that's just nasty.

By: twos

twos — Wed, 21 Aug 2002 09:31:36 -0800

Just a thought on pool-sex.. Is it true what they say about the vacuum that it creates when he pulls out being bad for the woman?

By: baylink

baylink — Thu, 22 Aug 2002 11:45:01 -0800

The vacuum in question would be intra-vaginal, and most of it would be happening anyway. The *problems* might stem from the fact that what would be being sucked *in* by said vacuum would be liquid, rather than air -- but at least she won't be having any air embolisms... BTW: was this thread responsible for the 250-visitor spike my website got on the 14th? Eek!

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Fri, 23 Aug 2002 08:05:24 -0800

What about those of us who are routinely multi-orgasmic? Your being blessed, Beansidehe , as your either enjoying more, or your partner would like more. One way or another you're going to get it........