Important scientific question finally answered!

January 17, 2022 9:46 AM

Do Cheetahs Prefer Cold Hard Concrete Or Warm Blankets Pillow & A Friend? Featuring feline behaviour that most of us know intimately from our own moggies.
posted by MartinWisse (31 comments total)

Those cheetahs are so dang lean, all muscle and bones! Also, I have to wonder houses much sleep here actually got, what with the constant cat churning.
posted by Going To Maine at 9:54 AM on January 17, 2022

Ima gonna click on the link momentarily, but based on my personal experience with felines, it depends on whether or not they're satisfied with their recent meal choices. If not, they'll sleep on the cold hard concrete just to spite you.
posted by Slothrup at 10:30 AM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

Being able to sleep with cheetahs seems like a dream job. Forget cats, their behaviour seem exactly like all of the dogs I've lived with over the years - especially the jostling for position and the total lack of personal space.

For those interested, a cheetah purring very close to the microphone. (Warning: Tiktok video)
posted by greenhornet at 10:31 AM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

Cute video, and in the abstract I'd love to snuggle with cheetahs, but I have to confess I get a bit of a "Grizzly Man" vibe from the whole situation.
posted by Johnny Assay at 10:37 AM on January 17, 2022 [8 favorites]

omg this is so amazing. the first cheetah that curls up next to him? that is exactly how Herbert sleeps with me, but he's a mere 12-13 lb kitty. I would so love to snorgle these long bois (and grrrrls) like this guy does. (I have met a Cheetah in person but was not allowed to touch him.) life goals.
posted by supermedusa at 10:49 AM on January 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

AWWWWWWW I WANT A CHEETAH PILE TOO I DON'T SLEEP ANYWAY
posted by nevercalm at 10:51 AM on January 17, 2022 [7 favorites]

Glad to see the extra large specimens displaying the behavior that our fun size version also does that we regularly name as "Yes, it is important to rest *both sides* of the cat."
posted by jocelmeow at 11:16 AM on January 17, 2022 [8 favorites]

Forget cats, their behaviour seem exactly like all of the dogs I've lived with over the years

Yeah, someone once observed that cheetahs are dogs built on a cat chassis. So many of the hallmarks of canines are present in cheetahs: the non-retractable claws, the tendency to live in packs (technically called "coalitions," it seems), the pursuit-instead-of-pouncing approach to predation: this is all dog stuff.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:36 AM on January 17, 2022 [8 favorites]

OH MY GOD GIVE ME HUGE CAT PILE
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:38 AM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

OH MY GOD GIVE ME HUGE CAT PILE

Convenient that this ambiguous sentence is correct in both the [[huge cat] pile] and [huge [cat pile]] interpretations.
posted by jeather at 12:07 PM on January 17, 2022 [14 favorites]

Yeah, someone once observed that cheetahs are dogs built on a cat chassis.

The real story is the dogs learned it all from cheetahs. Except for the barking; they came up with that on their own.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:21 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

the non-retractable claws
What? my dog can definitely retract his claws. Is there something I should know? Is he a cat?
(Claws out: "I want your space now. Or food. Whichever comes first, but I may return for the other". Claws in: patting me on the face when I am asleep, either because he is scared or worried)
posted by mumimor at 12:34 PM on January 17, 2022

A purring cat that size lying next to you would be an amazing thing to have.
posted by Archer25 at 12:59 PM on January 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

i get all the snuggly cuteness, but also that is terrifying.
posted by 20 year lurk at 1:06 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

At first I thought the keeper was making a nice bed for the cheetahs, and when I realized he was making a bed for himself with a tiny narrow strip of cloth for the cats, I thought he was kind of a jerk.

The cats are very cute, and I do enjoy seeing how much their behavior is like the many housecats I've had over the years, but I always have mixed feelings about humans interacting with wild animals like this, like the humans are either perverting the animals' nature, or, a la Grizzly Man as mentioned above, imagining the animals to be much more tame than they really are.
posted by Well I never at 1:15 PM on January 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

They aren't wild animals.

"These captive cheetahs were bred and born at cheetah breeding centers in South Africa; one at Cheetah Experience."
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 1:20 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

He should have put his sleeping bag in the middle of the room, so the last cheetah could have cuddled up on his other side!
posted by rpfields at 1:25 PM on January 17, 2022 [6 favorites]

Also, frankly, housecats aren't even all that tame. If they had the size they'd gut the hell out of us every time we tried to make them take their meds.

Your cat not attempting to kill you? Nothing more than learned helplessness.
posted by acb at 2:02 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

I'm sitting here watching the video as my kitty Ivory sits next to me with her face buried under my arm.
posted by kathrynm at 2:27 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

So much for the claim "cheetahs never prosper."
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:29 PM on January 17, 2022 [9 favorites]

So how many cheetahs have you spent time with, y'all telling me what "wild animals" they are. Hmm? Don't pass out generally accepted 'truth' like it's gospel, unless you have relevant experience.

Cheetahs are sweethearts. You SEE "big cat" and it's not unreasonable to be fearful. But when I met a cheetah, he was caged and lonely. Used to being a house-cat, human raised. He was SO grateful to me for paying him attention! That cat playing with my shoe laces remains one of my favorite photos and experiences. Lions also become more inclined to be friendly, when raised by humans. (amazing what one can learn, living in South Africa a few years).

Tigers, no. Dangerous beasts. They CAN love you. But they can also suddenly trigger from something, and eat you. (but oh, a human raised, full-grown tiger will STILL beg for a belly rub!)
posted by Goofyy at 2:37 PM on January 17, 2022 [5 favorites]

If not, they'll sleep on the cold hard concrete just to spite you usually.

If my experience with small cats is any indicator, I think that the spite option to just kill and eat you is theoretically on the table for any cat bigger than the average Felis Domesticus bear. A bobcat for example. Well, come to think of it, just with you asleep, your average Maine Coon could pull it off with having the drop on you like that. So see, cats and dogs --and maybe us too, come to think of it! -- are even nicer than we thought. As we all three on the average have evolved, more or less, through the Selection of the Nicer. Cats and dogs, at least. But sleeping with any usually wild animal seems like sleeping with an old school fragmentation grenade with handle and pin that you've just triple wrapped with a couple of rubber bands and then pulled the pin to me. Not a good idea usually.
posted by y2karl at 2:46 PM on January 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

I'd frankly feel safer sleeping with three cheetahs than I would with three random people.
posted by Ickster at 6:05 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]

"With" meaning "in proximity with".
posted by Ickster at 6:06 PM on January 17, 2022 [4 favorites]

Supposedly tamed cheetahs you know versus random possibly feral people you don't know? Perhaps. But with untamed wild cheetahs you've just met, hmm? It's a small cage.
posted by y2karl at 6:24 PM on January 17, 2022

But with untamed wild cheetahs you've just met, hmm?

Given the past couple of years, sign me up.
posted by maxwelton at 6:58 PM on January 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

The cheetahs in the video are probably rightly described as "tame", rather than "domesticated".

But you have to go through tame in order to get to domesticated.

I mean, can you imagine the, uh, unfortunate incidents that must have occurred as humans worked over the millenia to create dogs out of wolves? Probably not pretty. But in the end, we got dogs. And I, for one, salute their sacrifice. (But, like, from a safe distance.)

This guy is just pushing the envelope in cuddly-animal R&D. With a few more decades of this, we might all have 90-pound carnivorous lap cats (and an economy based solely on the production of sufficient meat and cat litter).
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:45 PM on January 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

You SEE "big cat" and it's not unreasonable to be fearful.

I watched a number of this guys videos, and I think he has a pretty good handle on how the various cats will act around him. For instance, in this video Which African BIG & Small Cats Play With Laser Light Toys? he talks about how the tiger just hates him no matter how hard he tries, that if that tiger ever escapes, he's dead.
posted by 445supermag at 9:05 PM on January 17, 2022 [2 favorites]

We had an 18 pound Maine Coon who was like these cheetahs. He was such a lovable goof and he had the softest, most kittenish meow. Anyone laying on the couch was fair game and he'd always spread way out and just snooze as long as long as he had a human to siphon heat from.

My little domestic shorthair likes coming up to bed, but she won't tolerate the human falling asleep. As soon as I nod off, she'll get up and paw me in the face, and if I don't give her the requisite amount of attention, she'll just leave.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 10:10 AM on January 18, 2022

i fully believe that wild animals should left to be wild, and if they can't be wild they should be protected in a sanctuary. and not commodified. however. i would pay a SIGNIFICANT amount of money to spend a night in a cuddle puddle with three cheetahs.
posted by misanthropicsarah at 2:47 PM on January 19, 2022

i fully believe that wild animals should left to be wild

Yeah, but what if they'd rather not be?

Pretty sure my cat figures he got the better end of the bargain than a mountain lion trying not to freeze his nuts off outside. Even if it cost my cat his nuts.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:25 PM on January 19, 2022