August 29, 2002
10:54 AM   Subscribe

One in four employees has a serious Web habit, spending more than one entire workday each week surfing non-work-related Web sites while at their desks.
Is this you? This is me right now. Some days I'm not sure how I still have a job. Does your employer try to control frivolous internet time? Does your boss still peek over your shoulder and find you looking at "pr0n"?
C'mon, 'fess, up, tell us your stories...
posted by Shane (103 comments total)
 
No comment.
posted by waxpancake at 10:54 AM on August 29, 2002


Okay, before someone tells me: I probably shouldn't have posted with HTML breaks. Sorry...
posted by Shane at 10:57 AM on August 29, 2002


I don't have a problem. You're the one with the problem.
posted by Ty Webb at 11:00 AM on August 29, 2002


I've been waiting for months to get busted, ever since the new tech guys (hi, Jason!) at my office installed a new everything. I avoid anything that involves naked people, but otherwise it's play ball!
posted by monkeymike at 11:00 AM on August 29, 2002


Help for us all.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:01 AM on August 29, 2002


No pr0n at work. That WOULD get me fired. But I probably spend way too much time surfing.
posted by Nauip at 11:01 AM on August 29, 2002


I did finally get the "What is that blue screen you're always looking at?" question from my boss. He didn't seem to mind too much, since I get my stuff done on time. All he said was, "well, looks like we need to get you some more work."
posted by Ufez Jones at 11:02 AM on August 29, 2002


I did this pretty much every day for a year while working at IBM. Took 'em that long to notice that I wasn't doing my job. Heh.

I'm guessing net surfing is the new Microsoft Solitaire as far as time-wasting goes.
posted by beth at 11:03 AM on August 29, 2002


This pretty much is my job. God bless America.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:05 AM on August 29, 2002


I'm suddenly tempted to skin Crash and wear the skin and take over his life and legitimately spend all day online.

What was that about loss of social skills?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:07 AM on August 29, 2002


My favorite is the "whack-a-mole" analogy...

Some guy at work is surfing porn, he gets the million-pop-up attack, and he's suddenly desperately playing "whack-a-mole" trying to close them all before the boss comes by. May as well just hit the off switch.
posted by Shane at 11:08 AM on August 29, 2002


My whole last job consisted of surfing the web. I was supposed to be a receptionist but the phone only rang about every 15 minutes or so and I wasn't allowed to read a book, so I surfed. After 40 hours a week for 2 months, you actually run out of things to look at on the web, believe it or not.
posted by kate_fairfax at 11:09 AM on August 29, 2002


I was gonna make a point with this new job to be on my best behavior and not do any websurfing during work hours. Yessir! Then I was gonna quit smoking during work hours too. I most certainly was. Oh yeah. I was gonna be a good boy. Then I got to my new workplace and ...let's just say I stay well within the boundaries of acceptable behavior. And I'm surrounded by smokers, so the idea of not smoking except at home? Well that went out the window on the first day. As long as it doesn't affect productivity, employers should chalk websurfing up to keeping a positive environment where everybody's happy and employees like coming to work every day.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:11 AM on August 29, 2002


My favorite is the "whack-a-mole" analogy...

The PopUp killer version of that is fun too. Invisible but with the audio it sounds like a machine gun going full hog.
posted by HTuttle at 11:13 AM on August 29, 2002


Intrinsic guilt is a beautiful thing.
posted by BirdD0g at 11:14 AM on August 29, 2002


We really need to print up the t-shirts that someone mentioned in a long ago MeTa post:

"Make money surfing the web! Read MetaFilter at work!"
luckily, its too much of a stretch for my employers to understand the concept of remotely updating my weblog through a browser.
posted by machaus at 11:16 AM on August 29, 2002


I stay away from porn, but for a while we had SurfWatch. So I had to beat it. So I figured out it mostly only blocked by keywords in English, so I searched for a couple of Italian porn sites to test my theory. Bingo!

The big bonus: Try using Google to translate an Italian porn story. The results are hilarious.
posted by Shane at 11:16 AM on August 29, 2002


I'm doing *research*. Yeah, that's it. *Research*.
posted by mediareport at 11:16 AM on August 29, 2002


kate_fairfax: your story sounds familiar......

I work on the world's slowest helpdesk - a call every twenty minutes, and probably an average of about two all afternoon on a Friday!

I cycle religiously through about ten different sites (including this one) and try to find anything of interest that lets me go off on a tangent. I don't feel guilty about surfing at work as I often sit at my desk at lunchtime and will answer calls if a backlog does start to build up. I am a good employee!

The hardest part of my job is making it look like I'm working when there isn't any work to do. Now that is an artform.
posted by saintsguy at 11:18 AM on August 29, 2002


I would never ever do porn, but I surf and chat online. I get all my work done, and I'm the most technically proficient person in my organization. I don't think the boss minds. She sends personal emails and does match.com at work all the time...
posted by gramcracker at 11:18 AM on August 29, 2002


My coworkers and I used to take Friday's off. Work half of each day M-Th, and Fridays totally off. So, I guess this study holds up.
posted by adampsyche at 11:18 AM on August 29, 2002


Porn at work is just stupid. While there is the obvious problem of your work not looking kindly on it, there seem to be a few major points worth mentioning.

- it's most likely offensive to someone you work with, and that's not their problem, it's yours. I wouldn't surf alt.binaries.tasteless for images of corpses at work for the sake of my sanity and also so I wouldn't accidentally subject my coworkers to the same. It's common decency not to be rude to others in a group setting. Would you ever openly read a playboy magazine in public? I see those things on sale at airports, and I've never had the chance to sit next to the guy that actually bought one, but it seems like the most assholish behavior I could think of. Why make everyone uncomfortable around you (this is in public, I've got no problem with reading them at home) with some stupid thing that objectifies women?

- I hate to state the crudely obvious, but what's the point of viewing porn at work? How do I put this....um, well, you see, I've read (no wait, it was a friend, yeah, a friend told me about this) that some people view porn for the sole purpose of sexual arousal, and that's often followed by sexual release of one type or another (usually that obvious type you're probably thinking of right now). So again, what's the point of being sexually aroused at work? Anyone? Do people go "shake hands with Mr. Lincoln" in the bathroom or something? If this point of view doesn't make sense, let's try the flipside: would you do work while having sex? How about filling out tax forms while doing the deed? Pointless, no?

For those two obvious reasons (the second one being major), I really, honestly don't see the point of why there even needs to be rules against this sort of thing. I've never had the urge to look at porn in an office cube. It's 1) rude and potentially offensive, not to mention embarrasing if you get caught, and 2) pointless to be sexually aroused at the work place.

As for wasting time surfing at work, well, everyone does that, especially here. Traffic at MetaFilter on weekdays averages 2 to 3 times the traffic on the weekends, with the most traffic happening during business hours. This isn't a minority of people in your workplace surfing, it's the majority, at least for people here.
posted by mathowie at 11:21 AM on August 29, 2002


Ummm I can't comment on this. I think I'm being watched....
posted by TCMITS at 11:23 AM on August 29, 2002


Jenn and MegoSteve said it all a few months ago
posted by matteo at 11:24 AM on August 29, 2002


I'm not working now, so surfing is what I spend my day doing (besides looking for work).

But my last job? Yeah. I was so stressed by that place that the blue screen of MeFi was probably the only thing that kept me sane. Arrive at work, get a cup of coffee, get to my desk. Luckily the company inventory software used a color scheme quite similar to MeFi's. Anyone walking past my desk simply thought I was really into our warehouse inventory.
posted by gummi at 11:24 AM on August 29, 2002


I work at a university computer center. Usually, I field about five "how do I underline/save/print this" questions a day, and spend the rest of the time online, thinking about how I should be reading either classwork or something interesting. Six hours of internet a day? The good life.
posted by The Michael The at 11:28 AM on August 29, 2002


stop reading this site and get back to work.
posted by carter at 11:29 AM on August 29, 2002


My coworkers and I used to take Friday's off. Work half of each day M-Th, and Fridays totally off. So, I guess this study holds up.

Thank God I'm not the only one. This feels like a support group.

I work on the world's slowest helpdesk...

I have the World Library CD (OfficeMax budget bin / 5000 books, classics, history, philosophy, on 1 CD.) But it kills your eyes.

This thread could get me fired if anyone in Corporate Ohio actually read MeFi...

I was so stressed by that place that the blue screen of MeFi was probably the only thing that kept me sane.

YES. Boredom Kills. MeFi = Lifeline.
posted by Shane at 11:29 AM on August 29, 2002


So for example your blogging on company time and most of the work you created was during company time. Your boss finds out and your fired. Now no job you try to profit from your blog. Then your old job finds out it's a big hit. Who owns the rights? Yes I have heard of writers who wrote during company time. Yet when looking at it from the point of view that I accessed my blog on company equipment am I still the owner?
posted by thomcatspike at 11:29 AM on August 29, 2002


Harold Kester, chief technology officer for Websense, added: "The survey shows there is a huge gap between what employees are doing on the Internet and what employers know. Left unchecked, free and open Internet use can lead to severe productivity and legal liability issues for organizations."

Really? You think so? What would make someone say something so alarmist?

Websense makes software which can control employee Internet use.

Ah.

As I've mentioned before, the last time we had one of these conversations (really? on MeFi? I jest), back when I was in Corpworldâ„¢, I used to be one of those behind-the-scenes folks who had to install and monitor those products. I really was generally pretty good myself, as I prefer to keep busy with technology (e.g. Will anyone notice if I just start rearranging the cables running into the switch?). Although there was the stuck in an empty Denver office on a Saturday with no A/C waiting for a laptop to image incident, of which nothing further will be said. Well, it really did start out innocuously ....

But to answer Matt, on preview, sometimes guys really do look at that stuff out of sheer boredom. Without the, uh, physiological implications. Sorta like watching a sport you don't know on ESPN7 between two teams you've never heard of.

Now, I freelance, and the only drawback to surfing -- we're back talking about the socially acceptable type -- is that I have to let potential business calls go to voicemail. Now, I promised myself if I meet my monthly billables goal, I'll switch to cable (finally available); but of course, letting the calls go to voicemail probably impacts that bottom line a teensy bit, too. *sigh*
posted by dhartung at 11:29 AM on August 29, 2002


Surfing is part of my job. I'm a one man tech support department and I spend a good lot of time reading up on this, that and the other. MeFi doesn't really add value to my workday though.

I also surf a lot as I multitask. Currently, I'm in the middle of posting this, setting up some spam filters for someone, trying to troubleshoot Outlook's lame Contacts utility, ordering a G4 for someone else and listening to songs ripped from my CD collection.

I tend to get surf burnout at least once a week though.
posted by ursus_comiter at 11:31 AM on August 29, 2002


Someone here is holier than thou!
posted by HTuttle at 11:33 AM on August 29, 2002


Shane: Alt-F4
posted by Witty at 11:33 AM on August 29, 2002


Matt, porn at work is obviously stupid and rude. Still, our IT had to cut off internet access to one of the company's manufacturing plants because third shift was big time into porn. Yes, it boggles the mind and makes you wonder...
posted by Shane at 11:35 AM on August 29, 2002


I was put under review for "poor performance" and "not taking initiative", but I was just surfing a lot.
posted by panopticon at 11:36 AM on August 29, 2002


My company is actually really good about this sort of thing. We have a highly educated, fairly hard to replace staff, so a little shopping and bikini shots, well, so long as porductivity doesn't suffer and no one gets a wedgie, it's live and let live, pretty much. There was one guy that had to be fired because (a) his productivity suffered, and upon review it was found that (b) his idea of what constituted proper lunchtime viewing material happened to be illegal, but otherwise it's strictly wink-and-nod.

Don't think I don't know how cush that is :) It's just one of many cush aspects to this job, believe me.
posted by UncleFes at 11:41 AM on August 29, 2002


Methinks mathowie protests too much. (packs bags)
posted by cowboy at 11:43 AM on August 29, 2002


This is my current time-wasting fix.
posted by Witty at 11:44 AM on August 29, 2002


"shake hands with Mr. Lincoln"

Where I come from, this means paying with pennies.

I believe what you mean to say is "slapping little Rupert behind the ears."
posted by UncleFes at 11:45 AM on August 29, 2002


And no, little Rupert's appearances are strictly limited to non-work settings, except for that one time during the company picnic, and we SURE learned our lesson there, didn't we Rupe?
posted by UncleFes at 11:47 AM on August 29, 2002


Surfing is a big part of my job as well. The human resources director at the company I worked for previously was fired for surfing porn sites. A female co-worker stopped by after hours to pick something up from her office and he was sitting at her desk, um, well ... surfing porn.
posted by rotifer at 11:50 AM on August 29, 2002


My grandfather worked briefly alongside Steinbeck on Cannery Row. He said Steinbeck was a nice guy, but the other guys always had to cover for him because he spent much of the day writing. Apparently he'd turn a barrel upside-down, drag a crate over to sit on, and start scribbling. While such habits may be easier and much more widespread now, they're not exactly new.

As a side note, years later my grandfather refused to let my mother read Grapes of Wrath when it was assigned to her in high school. He wasn't much of a reader, so we know it wasn't due to any personal familiarity with the book itself; our only theories are that he heard somewhere that it was a communist book, or that perhaps he knew a little too much about Mr. Steinbeck's personal life.

And yeah, I'm writing this on company time. Let 'em try to fire me.
posted by Acetylene at 11:54 AM on August 29, 2002


I used to worry about our IT people tracking my usage, until I realized that I was on the same proxy server as over 3,000 other employees. Apparently, the query to pull one month's usage for a single account takes 3 hours to run.

To avoid problems, I just do two things -

In comparison to my co-workers, I make sure I'm not on the Internet enough to show up in the "Top 100" users report they run every month. In short, I stay out of the top three percent.

I get my work done when my boss asks for it to be done.

...according to a survey from Websense.
Websense makes software which can control employee Internet use.

90% of Americans think French Fries are yummy, according to a survey by McDonald's.
posted by borkus at 11:59 AM on August 29, 2002


Surfing is just easier/possible to measure as opposed to other time wasting activities that many employees spend a lot of time on: smoke breaks, socializing/gossiping/complaining about work with co-workers, reading, daydreaming, etc.
posted by clukasik at 12:00 PM on August 29, 2002


Stop reading this site and get back to work

Tagline! Tagline!
posted by Yelling At Nothing at 12:00 PM on August 29, 2002


"Shaking hands with Mr. Lincoln?" 88 = Heil Hitler? Did everybody else already know this stuff? Good thing I have MeFi - the Blue Screen of Life.
posted by FeetOfClay at 12:02 PM on August 29, 2002


"...filling out tax forms while doing the deed?"

We call it "creating a dependent", thank you very much.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:03 PM on August 29, 2002


I don't have to read metafilter at work. I could stop if I wanted to. Everything is under control.
posted by canucklehead at 12:03 PM on August 29, 2002


Acetylene, how do you turn a barrel upside-down? - they're symmetrical aren't they ?

I work for myself, so I'm posting this nonsense in one of my 16 daily work hours...
posted by godidog at 12:06 PM on August 29, 2002


I could stop if I wanted to.

I can't stop. Not till they pry my stiff, white-knuckled fingers from the keyboard. Or until 5:00, whichever comes first.
posted by Shane at 12:07 PM on August 29, 2002


The boredom of the "dog watch" (2300 start) is feeding my
addiction.
It's just so difficult to stay away from any reference to S*X
or prOn.The internet police here seem to run some sort of spell check thingy.
Then the warning emails arrive.Even for Essex cricket info
Bleh
posted by johnny7 at 12:09 PM on August 29, 2002


I can't stop. Not till they pry my stiff, white-knuckled fingers from the keyboard. Or until 5:00, whichever comes first.

Heh. I've been late leaving work because I got caught up reading something on the web a few times.
posted by ursus_comiter at 12:09 PM on August 29, 2002


::Ethical question::

I work pretty damn hard when I have stuff to do. But the fact is alot of time Im waiting on this or that and instead of jamming my thumb up my ass I jump on the net. Am I cheating my company? I could take my sweet time doing things or they could even give me more work (which I am always asking for). But since they dont is it really so wrong to kill boredom.
posted by Dr_Octavius at 12:13 PM on August 29, 2002


Could be worse. All the computers at my workplace are confidential mediums so no internet there. *sigh* No ability to goof off online.
posted by Lord Chancellor at 12:14 PM on August 29, 2002


godidog, the barrels were open on one end, which would normally be the end facing up. To get a decent surface to write on, he turned the barrel over and wrote on the closed end.
posted by Acetylene at 12:14 PM on August 29, 2002


A mailroom manager of the large telco I used to work for was fired when someone walked in on him and Mr. Lincoln...flagrante delicto.
posted by goethean at 12:22 PM on August 29, 2002


Sometimes I don't get home until 7pm. When the wife asks what kept me so late I just say, 'I was debugging some programs and I didn't want to stop right in the middle of the problem.'

MeFi - It makes you lie to your wife!
posted by TCMITS at 12:22 PM on August 29, 2002


I used to work in the pr0n industry. Got fired for spending to much time at programmersheaven.com.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:24 PM on August 29, 2002


Is it not common sense that if your employer pays for your work Internet access, that they can dictate how -- and if -- you can use it?

Thanks, I thought so...
posted by Dark Messiah at 12:27 PM on August 29, 2002


The receptionist at my job gets caught at least twice a day playing yahoo! games. Out of self-preservation (knowing that some day she is going to get the internet taken away from all of us when the big boss catches her) I messed with her internet settings and turned off her java and images.

Meanwhile I chat online with my secret internet boyfriends.
posted by Andrea at 12:28 PM on August 29, 2002


A mailroom manager of the large telco I used to work for was fired when someone walked in on him and Mr. Lincoln...flagrante delicto.

So when they tell you to "love your job," they don't mean it literally?

Mmmm, nothing gets me all randy like a cubicle, with the gentle hum of incandescents overhead and the tickle of HVAC on my nape. Keep your silk sheets, I'll take the nappy faux burlap covering my office chair.
posted by sacre_bleu at 12:29 PM on August 29, 2002


We have proxy at work here but I managed to finagle a static IP address from my cubie who manages them, so now I don't go through the proxy. They still have a content blocker. But I don't like P*rn, so I wouldn't look at that crap anyway.

I used to surf at the dot-com a lot more than I do now. But now I do a lot more with my static IP. And I'm a CONSULTANT!! they're paying me $150/hr to surf. But I do the lion's share of work here, so I don't feel too bad.
posted by aacheson at 12:37 PM on August 29, 2002


And no, I don't MAKE the $150/hr. That goes to my company. I make a LOT less than that.
posted by aacheson at 12:37 PM on August 29, 2002


I keep 3 Mozilla tabs permanently open - personal email, wigu messageboard, and webstats, and I refresh them at least once every 30 minutes. I am so sick.
posted by wigu at 12:39 PM on August 29, 2002


if I protest too much, it's because in grad school, we had a lab manager that used to surf softcore porn in the wee hours, or when he was alone and I never understood why. It made my female co-workers uncomfortable (they'd often come in late to check on experiments and catch him), and I never understood the point of being aroused in an inappropriate place, like your workplace at a public university.
posted by mathowie at 12:47 PM on August 29, 2002


Obvious problems with the survey:

1. Biased company. Gee, lookee there, the company selling the news media on the survey is the same company that helps solve the problem. How many drug studies does the public not know of (the answer: lots) because the pharmcos don't let researchers publish negative findings?

2. Biased questions. Gee, with questions like, "What kind of content do you feel is most addictive?" how can you not get real good data?? How can you use terms like "addicted to the Internet," without first defining them??

3. Broad questions. I like how they ask questions about shopping and auctions and just assume there could be possibly no shopping work-related behaviors people might include there. If you visited Staples.com and bought a stapler there for your desk, that would be included (and assumed to be a non-work related activity). Duh.

4. Asking the wrong people. Asking HR managers about how much time their employees spend online is like asking parents what their teenage son is doing after school. How the hell would they know?

I could go on and on, but it's crappy "research" such as this that gives psychologists a bad name.

(Shameless self-link on an essay about so-called "Net addiction".)
posted by docjohn at 12:51 PM on August 29, 2002


One day per WEEK?? Where can I get one of those 8 hour a week jobs? I spend at LEAST 35 hours a week surfing. (Just kidding, boss. Really, I promise. I'm joking. Really.)
posted by callmejay at 12:56 PM on August 29, 2002


Just got my first "real" (i.e. full-time, indoor, deskbound) job a few months ago, after many wonderful but impecunious years of freelancing (travel writing...ahhh) and, um, grad school, and I have to say, finally getting aboard MeFi has been a sanity lifesaver during this rather painful transition. I was expecting something more like this, plus benefits.

Then there's this ridiculous 40-hour work week thing. Hah! I'm most productive in short, caffeine-fueled bursts anyway, so I don't feel *that* guilty I'm cheating my new employers. In between, I escape into the little calming blue window that's always open. [/endbio]
posted by gottabefunky at 1:05 PM on August 29, 2002


Some guy at work is surfing porn, he gets the million-pop-up attack, and he's suddenly desperately playing "whack-a-mole" trying to close them all before the boss comes by.

Or better still, he slinks over to the system admin and asks for help, making up a bullshit story to cover his pr0n surfing habit.

An admin of my acquaintance had a fairly high-ranking member of his staff approach him sheepishly and ask him to get rid of the million pop-ups on his screen. The guy claimed that he didn't do ANYTHING, really! He just opened an email and all these windows started popping up. "I think I must have gotten a porn virus," he said, sotto voce.

A porn virus. I love that one.
posted by chuq at 1:10 PM on August 29, 2002


I was just joshin' ya matt buddy. You know I don't say much, but I just couldn't resist the temptation. :-)
posted by cowboy at 1:16 PM on August 29, 2002


Matt, after noticing that they sell the hard stuff in airport magazine shops and that I never saw anyone reading one on a plane, I decided that the porn is for business travellers to buy after they arrive at their destination.
posted by Wood at 1:33 PM on August 29, 2002


Personally I am offended by co-workers who steal time from their employer. I am also deeply offended by those who would soft-peddle such ethical abuses. Since someone here brought up the "don't do it because it might offend someone" reasoning, I find it surprisingly disturbing that the same person feels NO compulsion to not offend on other ethical grounds. After we all know that sex is much worse than stealing!
Steal to you hearts content, but NONONO! don't you lookie at natural human bodies.
posted by HTuttle at 1:34 PM on August 29, 2002


Do your job well. Do it on time. Don't be a dick. As far as I'm concerned, if you satisfy those requirements you oughta be able to surf the web all you want.
posted by spilon at 1:44 PM on August 29, 2002


This is a very interesting and silly thread. I just want to point out that at some places of employment, such as mine, we encourage our employees to be familiar enough with porn to surf it well and if need be often.

In all likelihood, everything being equal, the potential employee who is not familiar with or is somehow offended by porn would not get a job with us over someone who is familiar with porn.

Takes all kinds of work environments I guess.
posted by filchyboy at 1:46 PM on August 29, 2002


Do your job well. Do it on time. Don't be a dick. As far as I'm concerned, if you satisfy those requirements you oughta be able to surf the web all you want.

Absolutely. There is, as has been mentioned above, a stigma attached to surfing, as well becuase it is measurable and "different." Never mind that there are some who gab all day, spend literally hours a day in the break room, go out for 15 minute smoke breaks, and disrupt the workplace far worse doing "acceptable" activities than a little Web surfing. A little common sense is what's called for: if you have work to do, do it. If you have time to surf a bit and get your work done, no harm, no foul. I gotta agree, though: every time I hear about someone getting canned for forwarding pr0n at work, I just can't imagine someone doing this and thinking that it is ok.
posted by adampsyche at 1:52 PM on August 29, 2002


Takes all kinds of work environments I guess.

Indeed. Yet some seem arrogantly and self-righteously oblivious to that.
posted by HTuttle at 2:05 PM on August 29, 2002


I'm temping right now as a receptionist and all I do is answer phones. Needless to say, there is a lot of downtime so I spend, um, quite a bit of time surfing. (hope no one at my agency reads this!) It's all pretty work-safe stuff.

I can't even imagine surfing porn at work. How could you think that's remotely work-safe? And how could you manage to not get caught?
posted by SisterHavana at 2:19 PM on August 29, 2002


Do people go "shake hands with Mr. Lincoln" in the bathroom or something?

Way Too Fucking Much Information Alert:

I can't think of a single place of employment at which the President and I haven't had at least one good handshaking session.

I have NO idea why, either. It's not something that happens on any regular basis. It's almost like a sort of compulsive ritual. Like hazing the shitter. That, and, y'know, you just get sort of razzed up, sometimes.

Note, however, that I've had very few jobs where net access was available, and I don't think I've ever looked up anything pornographic at the workplace short of the occasional bit of dirty text. It tends to be rather an unprompted phenomenon.

Why do I feel like this should be addressed to Dan Savage, or Loveline?
posted by cortex at 2:24 PM on August 29, 2002


I don't surf porn at work, but I do stop by MeFi once or twice a day since I have to use my own AOL account at work for company email and stuff (cheap boss); I figure he owes me.
posted by Oriole Adams at 2:28 PM on August 29, 2002


"I can't think of a single place of employment at which the President and I haven't had at least one good handshaking session."

Just remember, All employees must wash hands before returning to work.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:36 PM on August 29, 2002


"I can't think of a single place of employment at which the President and I haven't had at least one good handshaking session."

The really sick thing is that cortex is a veterinarian.
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:39 PM on August 29, 2002


Read that as "vegetarian." So confused, I was.
posted by cortex at 2:49 PM on August 29, 2002


The hardest part of my job is making it look like I'm working when there isn't any work to do. Now that is an artform.

(For those UNIX lovers among us):
A friend and I had a saying that when we we needed to look busy, it was a "while 1; make; make clean" kind of day. :)
posted by LordMcD at 3:07 PM on August 29, 2002


Read that as "vegetarian." So confused, I was.

That's your eyesight failing.
posted by saintsguy at 3:09 PM on August 29, 2002


"I can't think of a single place of employment at which the President and I haven't had at least one good handshaking session" Are you serious? You must have some very private bathrooms at your work. I cannot imagine feeling safe enough to be comfortable to do that!

Now having sex with your spouse on the weekend in your private office, that's...um...just fine-or so I've heard.
posted by aacheson at 3:14 PM on August 29, 2002


I am serious, and no, there was nothing unusually private about any of the bathrooms. The tactical part of my brain that worries about that sort of thing takes into account whether it's a high-traffic time of day for the bathroom, for example. Having not a whit of exhibitionist in me, I understand where you're coming from -- but it seemed like a good idea at the time, essentially.
posted by cortex at 3:58 PM on August 29, 2002


Can we stop talking about you masturbating now, cortex?

thanks.
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:36 PM on August 29, 2002


I am both repulsed and fascinated by cortex's masturbation confessions...what were we talking about again?
posted by Zulujines at 5:21 PM on August 29, 2002


after noticing that they sell the hard stuff in airport magazine shops and that I never saw anyone reading one on a plane, I decided that the porn is for business travellers to buy after they arrive at their destination.

I've seen people looking at porn on planes. It's kind of a shock to be walking down the aisle, look down, and see pictures of naked women. I was so surprised the first time this happened, I didn't even think to ask the passenger to put it away. I just kept walking toward the front of the plane.
posted by spacewaitress at 5:41 PM on August 29, 2002


i like ice cream.
posted by poopy at 5:49 PM on August 29, 2002


I did finally get the "What is that blue screen you're always looking at?" question from my boss.

Me too. Fortunately my boss is a real human being not a piranha in a labcoat, and as long as I get the important stuff done he doesn't care what else I do.
posted by sennoma at 6:12 PM on August 29, 2002


Yes. Yes we can. Good to know I'm making an impact on the community, though. Or something.

Have I mentioned that I've been ill?
posted by cortex at 6:42 PM on August 29, 2002


Did the term "Cortex's Complaint" spring to anyone else's mind?f
posted by sennoma at 6:59 PM on August 29, 2002


I came into work one day and found that the dreaded Content Advisor had been enabled in IE at my office. Doesn't even allow you to access our company site! Only thing you can access freely is MSN and some other Microsoft crap.

Decided not to confront my boss about it. Found that I can still surf using using MS Frontpage (we're on a win2k network), although I'm not able to post. (Anybody know how I can get around that?)

To be perfectly honest- I was/am doing a lot of surfing, assuming everybody else was doing pretty much the same, I can understand wanting to limit access.

Of course, I have been spending a bit more time in the can playing solitaire on my Palm.

Uh, no, that's not a term for masturbating. (Is it?)
posted by groundhog at 7:29 PM on August 29, 2002


playing solitaire on my Palm.

This is my new favourite euphemism.
?
posted by sennoma at 7:33 PM on August 29, 2002


MetaFilter -- the Blue Screen of Life.

Thanks, FeetofClay. I feel much better now, despite Cortex's confessions even.
posted by Jonasio at 8:40 PM on August 29, 2002


playing palm solitaire, i like it.

besides me-fi, where do you waste your non-p0rn time? where do you draw the line?
posted by priyanga at 8:46 PM on August 29, 2002


Every time I feel bad about reading MeFi at work or doing other random surfing, I glance over at my boss's desk to see him doing strange photoshop tweaking to the comics from the NY Times and suddenly I don't feel like I'm wasting the company's time at all.
posted by illusionaire at 11:12 PM on August 29, 2002


In agreement with docjohn above and ask why would you believe a survey from a content filtering company that currently blocks MeTa under their games catagory but allows access to MeFi?

But no, I don't surf at work [well mayby a little for research only]
posted by DBAPaul at 3:54 AM on August 30, 2002


I have a low paying, high stress, administrative job and don't have time to surf, except for very carefully doled out email checks (maybe twice a day) to see if i have any new freelance jobs so I can finally quit and have my life back (not to imply browsing the web is my life, just that between freelancing and day jobbing I have limited, precious free time). However, my last corporate tech writer job involved a lot of legit on-line research, and a lot of down time while we waited for development docs so I did browse quite a bit there.
posted by jennyb at 5:00 AM on August 30, 2002


...why would you believe a survey from a content filtering company...

Because this thread corroborates it so well!

One last note: I cut myself off from my manic surfing for a week once. My work productivity actually suffered, or else stayed about the same (and no, it wasn't just withdrawal.) Boredom, plain and simple.
posted by Shane at 5:56 AM on August 30, 2002


Of course, I have been spending a bit more time in the can playing solitaire on my Palm.

Uh, no, that's not a term for masturbating. (Is it?)


It is now...

I've been busted for posting to my weblog in company time. Writing an entry that started 'Just a short one, as I'm snowed under at work...' probably wasn't one of my brightest moves. Nor was ignoring the company IP address in my referral logs. "Hey, I've got a fan who works here!" Yeah, in the technical department.
You're less likely to get 'blue screen' comments reading sites sent to you by e-mail - it's a bit slow if you want to surf, but cuts down your online time.
posted by etc at 6:07 AM on August 30, 2002


it's all a kinda lickety split thing
posted by poopy at 6:23 AM on September 8, 2002


« Older Apparently I live in the most diverse city in the...   |   Salman says "miscalculations" Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments