September 3, 2002

7:52 AM

Baby, Bye, Bye, Bye!NSYNC = NSPACE. Not anymore! Looks like Lance doesn't have the money, and the Russians got tired of waiting.
posted by wsfinkel (27 comments total)

"''We are preparing to send a cargo container to the ISS instead of a third crew member."

The spokesman continued, "The container will have approximately the same height, width, mass, and IQ as Bass."

OK, so he didn't, but is there anything more fun than mocking boy-band members first thing in the morning?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:57 AM on September 3, 2002

oh, you said mocking. for a second there, i was agreeing with you.
posted by tolkhan at 8:00 AM on September 3, 2002

I heard that funds were pulled when it was discovered that the Russians were intending to bring him back!
posted by DrDoberman at 8:05 AM on September 3, 2002

This reminds me of the Space Ghost episode in which Space Ghost blew up guests Hansen in outer space. Hey, if you were a Space Ghost writer, could you have resisted that?
posted by Shane at 8:11 AM on September 3, 2002

As much as I agree with the general sentiment on boy-bands, I find this disappointing. A lot of youngsters were actually following this and getting some interest in the space program. Apparently, some of the NASA folks were surprised to find that their own teenagers were suddenly interested in what they were doing for once.
posted by quirked at 8:16 AM on September 3, 2002

Yeah, that's really too bad Lance couldn't get up there. As I understand it, space is a soundless vaccuum.
posted by gsteff at 8:20 AM on September 3, 2002

Yeah, but Buzz Aldrin is still gonna sing on the Backstreet Boys' new album, right?
posted by planetkyoto at 8:24 AM on September 3, 2002

A lot of youngsters were actually following this and getting some interest in the space program.

I find it surprisingly difficult to be disappointed. If Lance Bass is their hero, they're going to find the space program a huge bore, with all that math and science and stuff.

Until Lance Bass and Cindy Crawford started showing interest, the phrase "space tourist" never actually meant "tourist" in my mind.
posted by RylandDotNet at 8:25 AM on September 3, 2002

You can't buy that kind of media coverage for $20M is all I know.
posted by wigu at 8:31 AM on September 3, 2002

I just keep picturing that Simpson's episode where they send Tom Arnold, Rosie and Pauly Shore to the Sun in a space ship. Here's hoping life imitates art.
posted by krazykity16 at 8:33 AM on September 3, 2002

A lot of youngsters were actually following this and getting some interest in the space program.

Point taken. But I didn't need "rock stars in outer space" as a child. Neil Armstrong was my hero. I sat through coverage of space missions, rarely remembering to blink.

I guess space is old hat today -- or kids are very different.

Cindy Crawford: "Space Trip Okay if No Hair Appointments or Spa's Scheduled that Week." Um, excuse me, but a space trip would make "priority" on my calendar.
posted by Shane at 8:45 AM on September 3, 2002

Lance Bass is going into space. Let's hope it's a one-way trip and HE DIES. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Holy shit, let's get some new jokes people.
posted by Stan Chin at 8:54 AM on September 3, 2002

If Lance Bass is their hero, they're going to find the space program a huge bore, with all that math and science and stuff.

Wow, tough crowd. I liked some real lame music acts as a kid and I grew up ok. I would imagine most folks here are the same. I even like math and science!
posted by quirked at 9:07 AM on September 3, 2002

I liked some real lame music acts as a kid and I grew up ok.

KILL THE CORPORATE TOOL!!!!
posted by gsteff at 9:10 AM on September 3, 2002

I can't possibly be the only person with Menudo mp3s, right? Anyone?
posted by keli at 9:48 AM on September 3, 2002

Okay, I admit I have Menudo's "Hold Me" on my computer. But that's it!
posted by SisterHavana at 9:57 AM on September 3, 2002

I hope they find some way to pay, or send him another year. I'm not a big fan or anything, but I can't get over the reality copying science fiction angle. It's like reading heinlein or resnick, reading about the first days of space, and who was able to make their mark in history, simply by taking a trip.

If I had the money, I'd be trying to make the trip too. I don't see why the rock stars and the billionaires shouldn't try to buy their tickets this way. I guess I don't care if he goes or some other star, but I think the documentary on the process, and the youth factor do make it interesting.
posted by dreamling at 10:13 AM on September 3, 2002

Heh...Leave it to the Russian space program to illustrate to one of our celebs the pay now or get lost differentiation between accumulated worth and liquid assets.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:49 AM on September 3, 2002

I can't believe this dumbass didn't constantly hound his accountants or whoever the heck manages his oodles of boy-band money to pay up quick. If I had the chance to go to space I wouldn't totally @$^% it up like this... Oh well. Then it was just a stupid publicity stunt after all. It doesn't help that he's voicing a very, very popular Final Fantasy character in Kingdom Hearts and totally screwing it up. Basically, I love Final Fantasy, and I'd really like to shoot myself into space one of these days, and this @#$%# takes two of my favorite things and just pisses on them. That's not even getting into the music put out by him and the rest of his little "boy-band..." Death would be too good for him.
posted by Veritron at 12:42 PM on September 3, 2002

Sign the petition!!
http://www.theonetruebix.com/2002/06/19/1914.html
posted by katy_ at 12:46 PM on September 3, 2002

sorry, wrong link!
http://www.petitiononline.com/byebass/
posted by katy_ at 12:46 PM on September 3, 2002

Then it was just a stupid publicity stunt after all.

I agree it was a publicity stunt, but why is it stupid? Just because someone you're jealous of got to go? Yes, they could have used a REAL astronaut and furthered the cause of science, but this is exactly what NASA and the space program needed. Robots just aren't romantic (The gay ones are though). We haven't had the awe-inspiring science fiction dream since the moon landing. Now, Lance Bass would have come nowhere near this obviously, but honestly he's a hero to huge number of young girls who could have really given less of a damn about the crippled space program. Showing that a person is capable of achieving his dream and yes, space is really cool would have been a fantastic opportunity for NASA.

Another billionaire will probably be the next tourist, but they won't have the same impact upon younger kids that Lance would have. And no, not all of them would have been vapid young girls, but actually little smart kids who have dreams of going back into space. Just because they saw a young guy like Lance do it.

His music sucks, but what he could have done for the Space program would have been great.
posted by Stan Chin at 1:00 PM on September 3, 2002

I can't believe this dumbass didn't constantly hound his accountants or whoever the heck manages his oodles of boy-band money to pay up quick.

He's probably just discovered exactly how much money he has actually made from the band, and how much has been recuperated by the label...
posted by inpHilltr8r at 2:36 PM on September 3, 2002

That is too bad. Getting a national phenomenon like the space program associated with him could really have boosted Lance's popularity.
posted by gsteff at 4:31 PM on September 3, 2002

I think the Russian Space Agency did a wonderful job.. although I'm VERY sure they need the money... they prove that they are not going to stick around for BS. They gave him multiple opportunities to pay up...
posted by spidre at 9:10 PM on September 3, 2002

Ahem: [F]or just $1 million, Ted Nugent has offered to have the boy band member over to his Michigan ranch to teach him bow-hunting skills. The guitarist and outdoorsman said Bass could then join him on a weeklong hunt, "where he'll be taught a greater appreciation for nature and gravity as he hunts, kills, cleans and cooks for himself.... Bass needs to quit worrying about going into outer space and embrace and celebrate life by learning how to kill his own food,'' Nugent said Tuesday. "A slab of flesh on the back of a deer is the finest source of protein on the planet.'' The 53-year-old rocker said he'd sweeten the deal by "throwing in a few guitar lessons.''
posted by subgenius at 12:13 PM on September 4, 2002

Gah, subgenius, you beat me to it.
posted by me3dia at 2:36 PM on September 4, 2002