This is Kaos
October 3, 2022 3:36 AM   Subscribe

If this thread were an Agent, it would be: a) Free, b) Provocateur, c) 99, d) Secret?

Be advised that this limited hangout is officially out of control, so be smart from the very beginning and join us to exercise max agency by linking and chatting freely here!
posted by taz (87 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
Lost Agent. Like my work VPN at the moment. unable to make a connection.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:59 AM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


If only this thread had used its talents for... niceness.
posted by mmoncur at 4:03 AM on October 3, 2022


Well just to put this thread back on its stated DEVO fanboi track, here is "Secret Agent Man" and the Mr. DNA medley.

I am not complaining but maybe a few less derails so we can ligthten up on mod workload eh?
posted by Meatbomb at 4:09 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


And why not a little Gruppo Sportivo secret agent action? Mission à Paris.
posted by Silvery Fish at 4:27 AM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]




I was going to try to work some Number Six in there, but was dissuaded by Rover. (You didn't hear this from me, and also I never said it.)
posted by taz at 4:51 AM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


Would you believe… I still haven’t caught covid from my housemate? It’s been a week and my test today is still negative. She’s starting to turn the corner herself. Might have the all clear in time for the office poker tournament final table on Wednesday. I squeaked into the final slot this year. Playing poker against traders is hard.

In other news, they will be breaking ground today on our new back porch! The porch was in marginal shape when we bought the place. One of the back steps failed last winter and the patched step has not been holding on too well. It will be a great relief to have it done before winter.
posted by notoriety public at 4:56 AM on October 3, 2022 [10 favorites]


My new little rat girl now has a name. Saffy. Short for Saffron, because she's white with ginger patches.

She's quickly gaining in confidence, and is happy to climb all over me. She pushes herself into my hand and seems to enjoy being stroked. Her ears go deeper pink when she sleeps.

The other rats have accepted her, and they are all snoozing in a big pile right now.

I'm managing to get a lot of writing done. My new head cancelling noisephones make an incredible difference to my ability to concentrate.
posted by Zumbador at 5:17 AM on October 3, 2022 [14 favorites]


Tomorrow, I will become a two-time grandfather (which is a startling thing to hear me say.) I am living in a timeline I had never imagined existed.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:23 AM on October 3, 2022 [17 favorites]


Zis is KAOS metafilter. Ve don't shush here!
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 5:24 AM on October 3, 2022


Don’t slam the dartboard!
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:24 AM on October 3, 2022


My new head cancelling noisephones...

This is the kernel for my next sci-fi short story!
posted by Thorzdad at 5:26 AM on October 3, 2022 [9 favorites]


It rained all Saturday but Sunday the endless wind blew the rain away. We watched a local college field hockey team play -- and overcome a bad ref -- and it felt so good to jump up and cheer at the end of overtime. We don't know any of the players or anything, just had a good time sitting in the stands.

This weekend we made the first chicken soup from scratch and first apple pie from scratch of the fall. Also a brace of deep dish pizzas. There's a lot that brings me down, but a tummy full of homemade food bring me back to the light (which may, I admit, be the bulb inside the fridge -- but I will take it!).
posted by wenestvedt at 5:55 AM on October 3, 2022 [6 favorites]


I keep hearing ads on the radio for the Who concert that's coming to town. I keep remembering how I begged my parents to buy the pay-per-view "farewell" concert from them.... in 1982.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:05 AM on October 3, 2022 [10 favorites]


My wife had a cold but the Tiny Monster and I never caught it and since we all tested negative I decided to take him to our friend's wedding by myself this weekend. I didn't get to eat a bite or even pee for the entire seven hour round trip but I think he had a good time.

I couldn't remember many children's songs so when he got fussy on the trip I discovered my true talent as a Dr. Seuss hafiz. So far I can recite ABC, Cat in the Hat, and Red Fish Blue Fish from memory while driving. This may turn out to be a mistake if he decides that that books are optional and all the books we read are really just Dad making up stuff while holding a book.

This weekend I am being sent to New Orleans for a convention so I figure there's no chance I come back without covid, the flu, or both.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 6:28 AM on October 3, 2022 [7 favorites]


At least we can safely say it’s not e)Orange
posted by MtDewd at 6:37 AM on October 3, 2022


Today is birthday day for me. Spending the day working on a spec video for a job that could maybe get me out of cooking and into something that doesn't physically hurt to do. Man I hope this works.
posted by Philipschall at 6:38 AM on October 3, 2022 [16 favorites]


Happy birthday, Phillipschall! 🎂
posted by wenestvedt at 6:49 AM on October 3, 2022 [5 favorites]


I am about to hop on a plane to Foreign Place because I already had tickets well before my spouse passed, and in the meantime am finding out that the government has gotten a whole lot better at handling notification of death than it was in 2008 when my mother died. What am I going to do with all these death certificates I won't need after all (20 of them)? Creative suggestions requested, especially if they involve secret agents.
posted by Peach at 7:18 AM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


I have an appointment tomorrow to adopt a shelter dog, and I'm both excited and terrified. I just want to do a good job taking care of him.
posted by Akhu at 7:21 AM on October 3, 2022 [13 favorites]


Composing a message communicating a decision that resolves an acrimonious professional dispute in your favor and not including the phrase, neener neener you are a wiener, is hard.
posted by calamari kid at 7:26 AM on October 3, 2022 [9 favorites]


A week ago, while still feverish from covid (I'm better now), I received this in my MeMail:

... just wanting to say thank you so much for linking me to "An Honest Man" in AskMeFi (https://ask.metafilter.com/364641/Short-Stories-About-Liars#5195477) back in June. I'm assigning it this week to my WSU English 361 "Deception, Disinformation, and Propaganda" (aka "the rhetoric of bullshit") students, along with Borges' "Library of Babel," Wolff's "The Liar," and Chiang's "The Truth of Fact, the Truth of Feeling."

"An Honest Man" was my first published short story (of five so far). I certainly never expected any of my work to be required reading for anyone. And to be included with stories by Borges, Wolff and Chiang is quite an honor.

I wanted to let the writing instructor whose course I was taking when I wrote the story know about this. Alas, when I looked her up, I discovered she passed away three years ago.
posted by ShooBoo at 7:34 AM on October 3, 2022 [17 favorites]


Yesterday I took a couple of beers over to my neighbor who in July lost his right leg after a horrific injury in a "3 mph" bicycling accident. He's doing well. Gets around with a walker or crutches. Got his car modified and is driving. Gets his prosthesis in 5 weeks.

Then I went over to my other neighbor's house. He is an amateur telescope maker. He showed off a bunch of lenses and miscellany that he had gotten from Surplus Shed.

Today I get the last iron infusion of this current series (got 3 doses this spring then 3 in this series). I'll likely need occasion IV iron for the rest of my life. The iron deficiency leaves me pretty fatigued. I need 9-10 hours of sleep daily (8 at night + a nap). Could be worse. I'm able to do one strenuous exercise session weekly if well rested beforehand.

I made it to an amateur rocketry gathering in Nevada's Black Rock Desert 3 weeks ago (xprs d0t org). My rockets flew well although to a mere 8,000 feet. A friend had a 39,000 foot flight and a group of guys I believe flew to over 50,000 but I haven't heard that for sure.

This morning I got up at 07:00 and it's foggy and/or cloudy. So I fired up my light therapy box for the first time of the season (I live in the northern hemisphere). It's this one and I recommend it highly.
posted by neuron at 7:40 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


neuron I am curious about the Black Rock rocket launches. 39k feet? did you have to get FAA clearance?
posted by supermedusa at 8:34 AM on October 3, 2022


I worked a 99 Problems reference into a headline about hip-hop in today's paper!
posted by AJaffe at 8:44 AM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


We did the online version of Fantastic Fest this year and some of the best things we saw were: Chop & Steele, a doc about the two guys behind the Found Footage Festival and a prank they pulled on TV news shows, posing as strongmen; Give Me Pity! a wild Amanda Kramer flick about a (mock) late 70's/early 80's-ish TV variety special in which the star (played by Bette Midler's daughter Sophie von Haselburg) has a breakdown; and A Life on the Farm, a documentary about an aging eccentric farmer in Somerset, UK who made his own feature length films about his life. Also very much enjoyed the Slovakian horror film Nightsiren and the Spanish horror film, Everyone Will Burn.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:29 AM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


I'm ill with something. Low grade fever and throat isn't "sore" but feels like I spent the night inhaling second-hand smoke. A good friend is dropping by with some self-tests a bit later, so I'll see if I someone got the rona.

I rarely get ill so I'm not a very gracious patient. Hopefully this is something quick.
posted by maxwelton at 9:36 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


The C19 numbers in my household recently flipped from 50/50 to mostly positive. So now as the only one to test negative, I am locked in my room while everyone else stays home from school and parties.
posted by 3j0hn at 9:51 AM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]


This is as good a place as any to mention that valkane, through MST Club, is doing nightly horror movies throughout October, in our video share room! We aren't announcing which ones ahead of time though, it's all a seat-of-the-pants kind of thing. They're being shown at 8 PM Eastern time. That's 5 PM Pacific, which might be a bit early for out there. We've considered showing the same movie multiple times in a row so we can have something for the evening out there, but again, this is all just a thing he's doing, trying not to stress out too much about it.
posted by JHarris at 9:52 AM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


As ever, I direct anti-rona atoms at you all.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:06 AM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


Today I learned that Agent 99 was a character in Get Smart, and not just a kick-ass, flute-playing, female-fronted ska band. Probably where the ska band got the name from.
posted by eviemath at 10:23 AM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


I loved watching Get Smart when i was a kid, and Agent 99 was one of my first crushes.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:29 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


Your anti-rona atoms are so far working for me...

Went to a large, indoor, fundraising event last Wednesday. Sat next to my soccer teammate buddy. Only two of the people at the table were masked. The other person took hers off when the food arrived. I kept mine on except when taking a bite.

Two days later my friend tested positive...

But two home tests and one PCR have all came back negative. So, either DOT's atoms or the mask. Or both.
posted by Windopaene at 10:31 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


We're making chicken soup tonight. Text conversation with my husband (who is in the other room):

Him: Do you want to take him out of the pot so I can debone?

Me: Yes, I will take him out now. Do you think all three legs belonged to him? Because it's kind of a shame they didn't save him as an interesting pet.

Him: That's what I get for talking on the phone instead of typing
posted by taz at 10:45 AM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


Be advised that this limited hangout is officially out of control.

I think we should discuss this under the cone of silence.

What?

The cone of silence!

What?

posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:05 AM on October 3, 2022 [9 favorites]


My own secret agent project has concluded (at least the first phase) and if it can stick around and not be dismantled (and maybe even continue growing) it will be one of the things I'm most proud of in my life. It was a tough push (especially this last week) and I really had to tap into areas that are not strengths for me so it's a very good feeling to have success with it.
posted by matcha action at 11:31 AM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


Today I learned that Agent 99 was a character in Get Smart, and not just a kick-ass, flute-playing, female-fronted ska band.

Weirdly, today I learned that Agent 99 was not just a character in Get Smart, but also a kick-ass, flute-playing, female-fronted ska band.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 11:41 AM on October 3, 2022 [9 favorites]


Get well soon everyone!

I'm so tired. But I just found out that I don't have teaching tomorrow morning, so now I can walk the dog and then hit the bed, and manage the rest of my todo-list tomorrow. Everything will probably look better in the morning light.
posted by mumimor at 12:07 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


Do you think all three legs belonged to him?

"3-legged chickens, eh? How do they taste?"
"No idea, we haven't been able to catch one yet."
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:27 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


Today I'm taking my beloved Dr Buzzard to the vet - he's been pretty crabby recently and I suspect he's getting old and arthritic. I hope they have something to make him more comfortable. I've had him for 20 years!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:44 PM on October 3, 2022 [6 favorites]


And it looks like I've got a job! A kickass little local company that does neat things with agricultural and construction timelapse photography got in touch. Hits all the right nerd things for me.
posted by scruss at 2:12 PM on October 3, 2022 [13 favorites]


I would like to announce that Beauty and the Beast has now closed (sad! It was awesome!), technically managed to sell out the last show even though several people still flaked out on showing up (so that's literally the best show that's gone on during pandemic--probably because Disney) and somehow nobody in the cast, during the entire rehearsal period or performance period, got covid.

Possibly this has something to do with the fact that a number of people were in Evita and/or The Music Man, a show in which I'm told only four people in the entire cast/crew didn't catch it during rehearsals (I note those four were also in this show and didn't get it either), but even the one who went to Disneyland during rehearsals and half her family caught it, didn't get it.

GO FIGURE ON THIS.

The theater didn't even bother to ask people to send test results twice a week this time for my current rehearsing show. I'm not sure what to make of this (albeit this may be because it's a different director and this is the director who isn't constantly on her phone having everyone text photos of test like the other one is--other director is "taking the show off."). So far, so good and I have no idea why.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:50 PM on October 3, 2022 [4 favorites]


Do you think all three legs belonged to him?

buddy hackett knows a joke about three legged chickens - but you really need to stay for the duck joke
posted by pyramid termite at 2:55 PM on October 3, 2022


I am an agent of change,

Cracker
Hopeless
Angsty
Nutjob
Gettin' along in years
Easy target, seemingly, someone would have to find my marbles first.
posted by Oyéah at 4:40 PM on October 3, 2022 [1 favorite]


vet visit went ok, they think he seems ok, but lab results will be in in a few days and that may tell them more. Little dude was not impressed by the entire procedure - he's napping beside me now, but even in his sleep looks pretty pissed off. TIL that when they take a blood sample from a bird they get it from the jugular. Poor little guy!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 6:25 PM on October 3, 2022 [5 favorites]


Taking a couple of days vacation in Maine. Nice place! Bit of a change after Brooklyn, though.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 6:42 PM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]


buddy hackett knows a joke about three legged chickens
posted by pyramid termite at 2:55 PM

"3-legged chickens, eh? How do they taste?"
"No idea, we haven't been able to catch one yet."
posted by Greg_Ace me at 1:27 PM


Belated jinx! ;-)
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:52 PM on October 3, 2022


(Alternate response: "Missed it by that much!")
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:54 PM on October 3, 2022 [2 favorites]


supermedusa Yes, the hosting club makes arrangements with the FAA far in advance. My club (not the host of this event) submits an application every January for events in May-October. The Black Rock site had a 100k foot limit for many years but now I think is 250k feet (any flight over 50k requires a call 1-2 hours before the launch).

Rocketry is governed by Part 101 of Federal Aviation Regulations. FAR 101 essentially says "You may not launch [big] rockets". FAA grants us a waiver of the regulations saying that on these days at this location you may launch rockets to this altitude. For my club that's 50k feet.

My club's launch site (in another state) is actually in a military air space. That works to our advantage as long as we coordinate with the Air Force, then we have little aviation traffic to avoid. Leading up to and during a weekend event our launch director will talk to FAA and Air Force literally dozens of times.
posted by neuron at 8:38 PM on October 3, 2022 [3 favorites]


Would you believe… I still haven’t caught covid from my housemate?

Surprising, in 2020 the household transmission rate of Covid-19 was only about 35%. [You should fact-check this before repeating it.]
posted by neuron at 8:53 PM on October 3, 2022


I took over training my niece's pit-mix in agility after I retired my GSD. He's a sweetheart: a bundle of kisses and enthusiasm, with an actual heart on his chest. And tonight he was just a little rocket: he kept missing the jumps in his enthusiasm, and at one point just did laps around the ring, absolutely shooting through the tunnels.

There is very little that is more fun to witness than a happy dog doing zoomies.
posted by suelac at 10:49 PM on October 3, 2022 [8 favorites]


TIL that when they take a blood sample from a bird they get it from the jugular. Poor little guy!

OMG
And I thought trying to give a budgie medication via a syringe in its beak was stressful!

I have an unexpected problem.

During the hard lockdown I wrote Ray and the Cat Thing. . I was so anxious that I couldn't deal with anything in the story that wasn't really comforting and soothing. Some very low stakes tension, and some creepy vibes, but that's it.

Now I'm writing the sequel (working title Ray and the Stone Cold Axe Woman ). My mental health is much better, so I find myself exploring a much darker storyline this time.

Not ideal, to have such a shift in tone in a series. But I'm writing it for myself so...
posted by Zumbador at 6:04 AM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


I should have taken the VPN issues and the disappearance of certs from my work laptop yesterday as a sign to take a vacation day. I did not head the sign. Instead I tried to push through and ended the day in an absolute rage.

I literally took to my bed after dinner. Mr. theBRKP bought me a cup of herbal tea with a quarter shot of whiskey.

Today I logged in and all of the certs had been mysteriously restored. I continue my very slow progress out of my current team and UI testing and into my new team scripting and linux and a bunch of black boxes. I've already been warned that it will be year before I am functionally competent on new team. I'm OK with that.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:47 AM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


Technically I slept about 8 hours and I'm still tired.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:22 AM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


Behind me where I sit, I have a whole big collection of spy literature, fiction and non-fiction. It has always amused me that my granddad the secret agent would keep books on the both lives and fictions of secret agents. But come to think of it, I have hundreds of books about artists, architects and engineers in an other room.
Maybe the most interesting books are those by secret agents who ended up doing something else altogether: Lawrence Durrell, Elizabeth David, Jean Muir and many more.
posted by mumimor at 9:58 AM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


My dad sent me the Commodore 128 I had as a kid last week and the software should get here today. I'm gonna beat that damn Wizard of Oz game once and for all.
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:35 AM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]


My girlfriend visited just behind the front lines in Crimea last night. She described it as a horror show beyond words. "So many bodies. So much blood. I want to forget." Just a daily reminder that war is terrible. Fuck Putin and his fucking war.
posted by lock robster at 11:49 AM on October 4, 2022 [8 favorites]


I'm not going to watch the film Live Wire from 1992, and I can't think of a reason you should bother, either.

But everyone should watch this 35 second clip of Pierce Brosnan having to get rid of an exploding clown from a child's party.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:08 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]


Jealous of neuron. :) Story time...

I build a lot of Home - Estes Rockets back in the 1970's, I wanted to be an astronaut. In fifth grade I moved next door to these couple of boys and family, not really the story. Other than that the older boy and the father both worked at the bakery down the street.... and the two car garage was split up between them. One side was the boy's hot rod shop, he built and traded muscle cars. The other side was the fathers... He went out and bought 'lots' (as in mystery boxes of who knows what) junk to pick through and sell at the flea market on the weekend. He let us boys go through the random assortment of junk.

Goldmine! He let us have stuff that wasn't really that easily saleable. Random box of assorted lab glass (beakers, flasks, test tubes, pipettes...) mine. Box of fireworks, oh so much fun.

Then this day came that we ran across a whole box full of some sort of off brand model rocket engines. OMG! We went all MythBusters on those things....

Rocket cars, rocket boats, rockets with smoke bombs or M80s. My sixth grade "car of the future" was a recreation of the Budweiser rocket car that had just broken the land speed record, we lit it up in the parking lot. Sadly I didn't win the contest (it's still a sore point).

Then I broke the "rules" and built a rocket out of aluminum tubing. I had a plan.... It worked! I launched a rocket from under water. Big like 30 gallon trash can, the rocket only made it up about 10 feet, but it was glorious!

Anyway, it would probably be cool to build on those bigger rockets. Rockets are fun!
posted by zengargoyle at 2:25 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]


I too was into Estes rockets in the 70s. My construction skills were not great, so few of them survived their first launches...

Then my friend realized they were full of explosives, and started making bombs out of them.

Good times.
posted by Windopaene at 2:38 PM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


Justin goes bungee jumping.

With video goodness.
You can hear the "oh.. shit" at around 1:02 minute mark.
Spoiler: his hair gets wet.
posted by yyz at 2:57 PM on October 4, 2022


When I was nine, someone gave me a "Little Chemist" set for my birthday, my parents built a little lab for me in an unventilated closet, and instantly two of my uncles independently of each other saw it as a major problem that I couldn't make explosives. So they both provided extra chemicals for my kiddy lab. The parents advised me against exploding things in our rooftop apartment, but when we moved to a larger apartment with an extra ventilated kitchen that became my new lab, there were no limits. I don't even know why I didn't blow up an entire block of houses, I must have been a responsible kid, somehow.
posted by mumimor at 3:07 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]


Yeah, dangerous kids, and even lessons learned makes for relatively responsible kids. When I was seven, I burned my eyes out watching my father weld even after he told me not to. I was blind and bandaged for two weeks. OMG when it hit it hurt so bad, off to the emergency room. Not sure if it will heal, maybe I'll stay blind. Killer games of "blind mans bluff" and hide and seek. I got better, probably that growing and healing youth thing. Then I learned how to weld, father and I built wood stoves as a bit of a side-gig (he was an engineer at the steel fabrication plant, assembling bridges and such). There's also the sticking your finger into an electric socket (it bites). Slipping with an X-Acto knife and putting a gash in your forearm... by then I just grabbed a clean was rag from the laundry and went upstairs to say "time for more stitches".

But basically by 7th or 8th grade (like 11yr old or so) there's that enough of not being stupid and really dangerous. It so seems that kids grew up faster back then.

But it's also probably statistics and area or something. I just don't know of a kid that lost a limb or died or something that wasn't just horrible accident. Probably happens more often in denser areas.

I pontificate.... :P Small towns are both horrible and great, a youngster can be basically adult by sixteen. If you run out of things.... have to move along to a bigger city, this place is spent.
posted by zengargoyle at 4:58 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]


Thinking of muminor as a mad bomber makes me chortle...

Just saying.
posted by Windopaene at 6:18 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]


Thinking of muminor as a mad bomber makes me chortle...

Better them than me! I had access to gunpowder and made a small crater in the back yard and supposedly put a hole in that neighbor's garage door. I was hiding behind the pile of firewood. There was a KABOOM! Electrical ignition, I *ahem* made fireworks. Half of the powder didn't actually ignite and was scattered around, throw a match and this whole circle of ground just went WHOOSH! One can learn these things from not hard to find Military Manuals and Library Books. Like rocketry or machine guns or high explosives, there's just this point of location and licensing where there's location and paperwork and accounting and knowledge and such. It is a lot of fun shooting rockets or fireworks of blowing things up. Probably up there with flying an airplane. Not that much more dangerous than riding a bicycle or driving a car, just a little bit more care.
posted by zengargoyle at 7:15 PM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


A couple of weeks ago, my daughter's kitchen clock made a noise while I was over, letting out the dogs. I realized thisnis more than their new kitchen clock, so I said Alexa? Play me some Jefferson Airplane. And then I was listening to White Rabbit. So today while helping my friend move, my purse was accidentally locked in her new house, so I luckily had my car keys in my pocket. I went to let the dogs out as usual but I asked the kitchen clock to call my son-in-law, so he could call her. I ended up going bome and finding the birthday card she sent me, and going to the address where she has been staying. It finally worked out. She has worn through her support network, but has a new home to her she bought. She is just not in great shape to be a homeowner. I wouldn't have a smart home for any reason.
posted by Oyéah at 10:22 PM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]


*grumble*

So, I love my job. Far and away it is the very best job I have had, the best pay I've gotten ever, the best co-workers, the best location, it is in my wheelhouse and I feel seen and feel like my unique talents and skillset are recognized. I am very fond of telling the story about how the employment agency who referred me to this place told me she did so because she thought my boss and I were "weird in the same way", and for the past two years I get more and more evidence that she was exactly right. I have only one small complaint about the place though - and that is that the internal communication here is awful. In a weird way I'm used to it - that's also often the case in theater, and I'm kind of used to that. But it can be annoying.

For example:

About a month ago, I started hearing rumblings of something going on called "Manufacturing Day". We would be taking part in it, in....some capacity. I saw a few people set up recurring meetings about it, but...I wasn't invited to those meetings, it mostly seemed to be the marketing team and a couple of other dudes.

Then about 2 weeks ago I started getting unusual purchasing requests, either through our purchasing department or my boss coming to me directly, with the only explanation being that "it's for the manufacturing day event". Privacy screens, wristbands, one of those hand-crank drum things for bingo parlors...okay, fine. I placed all the orders.

Then last week I was asked to secure a bunch of porta-potties "for the manufacturing day event". They needed to be here for 2 full days, sitting in our parking lot.

Then someone in our HR office came to me because he'd been asked to order a bunch of box lunches "for the manufacturing day event". He was told I would have the phone number of a specific caterer. I did so, and gave it to him - and asked as I did why he was handling ordering the food. "I have no idea," he said, as he started to go. I stopped him and asked, "And....what's the manufacturing day event?"

"I don't know that either."

Finally, yesterday, my boss asked me to join their regular weekly planning meeting for the event. When everyone was there, I raised my hand and said I had only one question:

"What the hell even is the Manufacturing Day Event?"

"It's....the thing you've bought things for for us."

"Yes. But what IS it?"

"I actually have wanted to know that too," said the guy from HR meekly.

And so thus, 36 hours before the event, I was finally told what was going on.

Although they got a little bit of comeuppance - they were discussing the lunch plan of attack for our guests, and I innocently asked: "Hang on, you're giving box lunches out to the guests at noon, and you're asking them to pick them up in our canteen. Isn't that exactly the same and place our regular staff lunch distribution is? How would we avoid a major traffic jam there?" There was a tiny pause and I watched everyone's faces fall as they all realized "oh shit".

Always involve a stage manager from Day One, y'all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:25 AM on October 5, 2022 [5 favorites]


*grumble grumble the stage manager has awakened and is pissed*

We have a whole team of people setting up a sound system, lights, and a stage for the aforementioned event - and there are power cords ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE, snaking around corners and into outlets in peoples' offices. I took aside one of the coworkers who's planning this and she said that yes, they were taping things down securely - and oh, we were going to need more gaffer tape once the event was over. Okay, no problem.

But there was ONE set of cords, haphazardly snaking into someone's office and connected to this big machine doohickey in an alcove. This apparently was NOT part of the event. I went to go find the person who DID know about it....and she said that yes, those cords needed to be there, because one of them was an ethernet cable. But - hang on, she'd asked our handyman to tape those cords down. Had he not done so?

No, he hadn't. Because everyone had drafted him into service for this damn event.

So I found some random tape somewhere and went to go do it my damn self. Except - the ethernet cord was strung up to correspond with a port through two doors and behind someone's desk....when it could have been routed to a closer port. So me and the guy who was tripping on this went to IT to ask if we could move this....and yeah, we can, but IT needs to turn on the port we need to move it to. So in five minutes we can finally spare this poor guy having to trip on shit.

meanwhile - I discovered we had these cord cover ramp things....that the team working on the event aren't using, and would probably save us some tape.

So all of this stuff is now finally getting done because a stage manager finally showed up and asked some questions.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:00 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]


Would you believe… I still haven’t caught covid from my housemate?

Surprising, in 2020 the household transmission rate of Covid-19 was only about 35%. [You should fact-check this before repeating it.]


I did, and found this: Omicron Variant Transmission Within Households

When my housemate got omicron at the beginning of the wave, we didn’t take any precautions at all because we thought it was inevitable. And I didn’t get it then either! Apparently among non-precaution-takers, the odds of catching it were in the upper 60’s.
posted by notoriety public at 2:12 PM on October 5, 2022


Although to be clear, that’s comparing Alphas with Omicrons. Omicron was a lot more contagious, and apparently the data bears that out.
posted by notoriety public at 2:23 PM on October 5, 2022


And also, I got spanked in the poker tournament. First one to get knocked out. But I won a Fitbit! Which was honestly the only non-cash prize I had interest in. A replacement to give to my housemate because one of my cats* chewed through the strap of hers.

* Technically all the cats are shared as our older cats predating shared home ownership have passed on. But some of them have obvious allegiance despite that.
posted by notoriety public at 6:59 PM on October 5, 2022


A replacement to give to my housemate because one of my cats* chewed through the strap of hers.

I did wonder for a moment what kind of cat comes with a strap.
posted by Zumbador at 9:07 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]


Oh man.
I went to World of Birds yesterday. Always mixed feelings because birds in cages are kind of sad, but they are very well looked after, and many of them are rescued pets that are way better off now in big, interesting aviaries with bird companions.

But I had such sad interactions with several of the cockatoos.

I discovered that they really love it if I do a sort of birdy dance, bobbing my head, whistling, clucking and so on.

Pretty soon I was playing a game with them where sometimes I'm copying them, and sometimes they are copying me.

Particularly effective to bend down so I'm half upside down, and they flip upside down too.

But then some of them started putting their big, grey, wrinkly feet through the mesh and just reaching out for me like they wanted to hold my hand.

One was doing that just calmly and kind of sadly, and another one really frantically, shouting "hello, hello, hello" at me.

It followed me along the mesh as far as it could staring at me till I was out of sight . Poor little bugger. I felt so bad for it. Birds like that really shouldn't be pets.
posted by Zumbador at 1:19 AM on October 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


On a walk with my wife and dogs last thursday, a branch fell from a tree and hit me in the face/left eye. The ophthalmologist said there was no permanent damage but I'd have a pretty sweet black eye for a few weeks. He also said that if I hadn't been wearing my glasses, I wouldn't have a left eye anymore.

Exercising outside is dangerous y'all!
posted by schyler523 at 8:25 AM on October 6, 2022 [4 favorites]


My old hometown paper, the Chicago Sun-Times, announced that they were getting rid of their paywall today. Kudos to the new owners WBEZ/Chicago Public Media and Mr Moog.

At the same time, WaPo sent me a note that they're tripling the cost of a monthly digital subscription. Amazon Prime customers were paying $4/mo and now they want $12. That's kind of insulting, Bezos. I cancelled my subscription. Yeah I know it's what everyone else was paying. Just kind of hits me the wrong way.
posted by JoeZydeco at 11:12 AM on October 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


At the same time, WaPo sent me a note that they're tripling the cost of a monthly digital subscription. Amazon Prime customers were paying $4/mo and now they want $12.

On top of increasing Prime to $139.00? I was considering killing Prime at the end of the current subscription anyway (and the Washington Post with it), but this pretty much decides it.

I'm really stressed, trying to transition out of my existing team. It is at the "do this really hard thing that I could not be arsed to learn and don't have the time to learn now because of deadline" stage and I know that I am coming across as cranky and frustrated in the calls. I knew it was going to be bad, but it is REALLY bad.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 11:44 AM on October 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


So about a half hour ago I was walking through the main lobby at work in search of someone, and I twisted my ankle kind of nasty. I'm prone to that - I once twisted it so bad it broke my foot - so I knew that I just needed to pop some advil and put my foot up with an ice pack, and I'd be fine.

But because there's a manufacturing shop at work, and because our HR team is really conscientious, they had to follow the specific Someone Has Had An Accident At Work procedure. So about 20 minutes ago a sweet girl from HR came up with an Incident Report Form in hand, and we completed what is probably one of the world's most hilarious such reports:

"Please describe what you were doing at the time of the incident."

"Walking."

"Did you have the adequate personal protective equipment or clothing needed for this activity?"

"I...had shoes on, yes."

"Did you have sufficient training for this activity?"

"....I believe that after 52 years, I am adequately and sufficiently trained in how to walk, yes...."

We were both in near hysterics the whole time and I have a feeling HR is going to frame that thing. I'm still going to take it easy tonight and I can already tell I'll be fine tomorrow.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:42 PM on October 6, 2022 [5 favorites]


EmpressCallipygos: this is literally why I've worn above-the-ankle boots for most of my life. The support they give me save my genetically freakishly easy-to-twist ankles saves me a lot of the time.
posted by hippybear at 1:58 PM on October 6, 2022


Email from WaPo: "Apologies, your updated renewal price was misstated in an earlier email. We have corrected the price below. [...] The new price of your Basic subscription will be $7.99 plus applicable sales tax every 4 weeks."

Hmmm. Bezos algorithm gone bad, or serious backpedalling from customer reaction? Doesn't change my choice so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
posted by JoeZydeco at 3:01 PM on October 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


Normally, my PTSD comes in the shape of nightmares, flashbacks and dissociation, with a tinge of anxiety that fluctuates daily. And it has been bad recently. But today I am on full veteran-style alert, after a particularly insane nightmare. I almost threw myself on the ground in the park while I was walking the dog, because of a squirrel. The whole walk was extremely stressful.

I think I know why. The whole thing comes from back when I was in a violent relationship. With the specific twist that my ex punished me every time I was succesfull. First with psychological cruelty, then physical violence, including sometimes to the extent I thought I was about to die. He was also more conventionally jealous, but that was minor compared to this.
The day I left him was the day I told him I had been accepted at Columbia as a visiting scholar. We were in a bus, with our child, and he started beating me up right there and then. The shocked passengers in the bus made me see the insanity, and I never went back to our apartment again.

So even though this is now 25 years ago, I have a mortal fear of succes. And today, I am going into town to fetch my copies of the first entire (small) book I have written since that all happened. (I have in periods managed to publish articles and essays).
After I told my editor that I have PTSD and that I had this very particular fear, she and the rest of the team at the publishers have literally held my hand during the last year of the process. They are sweethearts all of them.
But the next month, as we go through the whole marketing process, is going to be a nightmare. I'm hoping that going through it will help me get along. My therapist thinks so.

Thanks for listening, I needed that.
posted by mumimor at 2:15 AM on October 7, 2022 [5 favorites]


Sjoe muminor, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with such trauma. And at a time when you should be able to celebrate your achievements.

It's so damn unfair.

It's so difficult to understand what motivates a person to be so cruel.

I'm glad that the publishers are being supportive. This is definitely not something you should be dealing with alone.
posted by Zumbador at 2:32 AM on October 7, 2022 [1 favorite]


I do not have the energy to do an FPP over this and I don't think there's a current one open, so I will just mention: Uvalde School District Suspends Entire Police Force Five Months After Mass Shooting. I just wanna yell TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:29 PM on October 7, 2022 [3 favorites]


Just happened across these jokes I had to share with you!

1: What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't like The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do!

2: In koi fish ponds, every fourth fish is fake -this helps keep the fish safe. So you'd have kois A, B, and C, which are real; then there's the D koi...
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:45 PM on October 7, 2022 [6 favorites]


Greg_Ace: Resident MetaFilter Dad
posted by hippybear at 5:02 PM on October 7, 2022 [4 favorites]


I keep all my Dad Jokes in a Dad-abase.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:31 PM on October 7, 2022 [6 favorites]


Because that's how eye roll!
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:32 PM on October 7, 2022 [4 favorites]


What do you call a group of crows that stick together?
.
.
.
.Velcrows!

(I cackled at D koi. It has been that kind of week).
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:51 PM on October 7, 2022 [6 favorites]


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