Snow White and the Seven Shao Lin Monks

September 19, 2002 2:06 PM

Snow White and the Seven Shao Lin Monks
Picture Snow White, frozen in motion, arms outstretched and her legs prepared for a kick (a la The Matrix). Just can't see it? Well the Folks at Disney can, and according to this CNN article. It seems that Disney is in negotiations with Yuen Wo Ping to direct a live-action martial arts remake of the classic Snow White film. This time Snow White seeks solace with seven Shao Lin monks who, in turn, come to believe the woman holds the fate of the world in her hands and protect her. I'm not much of a Snow White fan, but there are several Disney films that I think would benefit from some ass-kicking! Any other Disney films come to mind?
posted by DragonBoy (18 comments total)

They can show it on the KUNG FU CHANNEL! Yeah!
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:08 PM on September 19, 2002

yeah, Pocohontas, but the ass-kicking should be directed towards the script-writers...
posted by LuxFX at 2:15 PM on September 19, 2002

"Hayley Mills and . . . . Hayley Mills are twin dragons, separated at birth, reunited to karate-kick their father's love life into gear and judo-chop away at their mother's ice-cold heart in The Trap!"

I dunno, what about . . . Song of the South? The Aristocats? Donald in Mathmagic Land?
posted by mikrophon at 2:30 PM on September 19, 2002

The Computer Wore Tabi Boots!
posted by sklero at 2:37 PM on September 19, 2002

Sklero!
posted by mikrophon at 2:38 PM on September 19, 2002

Donald in Mathmagic Land would be incredibe with kung-fu. It'd be very Matrix-like - especially considering the 'plot'. Clueless guy discovers a hidden side to reality, is guided by a deep-voiced man, and ends up discovering hidden powers at the end.

And just imagine the Marching Pentagrams scene done with CGI and a techno remix of that highly infectious song.

o/~ dat, da-daaah / dat da-daaah / dat-da dat-da daah daah... o/~
posted by wanderingmind at 2:39 PM on September 19, 2002

Ahem. Incredib(l)e, of course.

(Jamming with DJ Pythagoras. Aww yeah.)
posted by wanderingmind at 2:40 PM on September 19, 2002

This must be the "Snowhite and the Seven Dwarfs - The REAL story!" that I have been getting so much email about.
posted by Shadowkeeper at 2:40 PM on September 19, 2002

I dunno, what about . . . The Aristocats?

kung fu cats would rock
posted by tolkhan at 2:44 PM on September 19, 2002

Of course, I saw this when it was called "that one scene from Shrek".
posted by padraigin at 2:44 PM on September 19, 2002

Damn, padraigin you beat me to it :) Then again, this is about as original as Direct-from-Disney gets.
posted by holycola at 3:28 PM on September 19, 2002

Song of the East?
Alice in God of Thunderland?
Herbie, the Fight Bug?
Pete's Ancient Art of the Nine Shadow Dragons?
Bambi?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:04 PM on September 19, 2002

kung fu cats would rock

Kung fu cats vs. Ninja mice from those Blockbuster ads. I'd pay to see that.
posted by gwong at 4:13 PM on September 19, 2002

Disney has gone totally nuts, as anyone who's ever played Kingdom Hearts has probably gathered by now. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
posted by Veritron at 5:19 PM on September 19, 2002

Herbie, the Fight Bug?

The first rule of Fight Bug is, you do not talk about Fight Bug.
The second rule of Fight Bug is, you do not talk about Fight Bug.
The third rule of Fight Bug is, no punch backs.
posted by moss at 6:25 PM on September 19, 2002

"Tokyo Pinocchio" in which woodboy uses his fists of fury to combat the evil Monstrozilla.

"The Computer Wore Zorries" in which Kurt Russel outwits the evil overlord with his amazing Donkeykong prowess.

"Mulan" in which...oh, never mind.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:19 PM on September 19, 2002

I'm boycotting Disney for it's hypocricy regarding copyright.

Disney's plunders the public domain to make it's films: Snow White, Pinocchio, The Hunchback of Notre dame, Cinderella, Robin Hood, Jungle Book etc. but when it comes to relinquishing copyright stuff, like they're supposed to (it's a LIMITED protection that copyright gives, to encourage innovation and enrich the commons) they buy politicians to extend the term of copyright (which has been extended several times.)

Mickey Mouse was supposed to enter the public domain this year, with Donald and Goofy next year. Disney paid for legislation to prevent us being able to use them ourselves, as WAS our right.

So I think, rather than it's films, it's Disney itself that deserves the ass-kicking treatment. :)
posted by Blue Stone at 7:54 PM on September 19, 2002

...and the Seven Shao Lin." (For the martial arts illiterate, that's a reference to the Shao Lin monks of China, who became masters of fighting concepts...

And for the just plain illiterate, Shao Lin is the name of a temple, not a name for monks at the temple.
posted by Poagao at 12:41 AM on September 20, 2002