September 26, 2002

12:47 AM

Typical jokes aside, the Make Your Own Bush Speech application is a great use of flash. Some fun hints: layer phrases over one another for added effect, and always end with the "afghanistan and beyond" blurb. Now if I could only save the speeches out as mp3 files, and layer some beats underneath...
posted by mathowie (38 comments total)

What, not a single malapropism? Those are the most entertaining part. He's even worse than the Daleys.

Let it never be said again that we require our leaders to come across well on television ...
posted by dhartung at 2:03 AM on September 26, 2002

Very cute...just don't visit any links on the site. Although I must say I had fun, I'd do just about anything for a Donald Rumsfeld version. I love that man.
posted by Zulujines at 2:44 AM on September 26, 2002

Zulujines - don't visit any links on the site? Why? Is there something wrong with wanting to Stop the War? Strange... a majority of people (at least here in the UK) are currently opposed to war in the Iraq. And yet you're suggesting we shouldn't look at sites devoted to stopping the war.
posted by skylar at 2:59 AM on September 26, 2002

Needs more verbs, but funny.

On a side note about the propaganda, how can a country "reel from sanctions"?

Dear skylar,

Stop the war and lose a western city. Or two. Or ten or more? I second the "don't click the links" vote.

Sincerely,
h7
posted by hama7 at 3:07 AM on September 26, 2002

I never said that you shouldn't visit sites devoted to stopping the war. You're quite free to do whatever you please...I was merely saying that the site was very cute and fun. However, if you wandered around, you'd be greeted with, "Stop Bush and Blair’s war...Tony Blair wants to commit us to a horrific war. An attack on Iraq will kill thousands of innocent people, devastate a country already reeling from sanctions and bombing, and further destabilise the Middle East." It's a bit of a switch, and it certainly wiped the smile off my face. My comment wasn't meant as a political statement and I apologize if it offended you, skylar. It was meant in a light-hearted way.
posted by Zulujines at 3:16 AM on September 26, 2002

It was meant in a light-hearted way.

I think the problem is that if you read the propaganda before or after, you realize that although the goofy Bush speech (thoroughly enjoyed by yours truly) is funny, the real reason for the very clever flash application is to further a political cause, which isn't all that funny.
posted by hama7 at 3:39 AM on September 26, 2002

My BushSpeech (using the snippets given) goes :

"Ladies and Gentlemen : The United States must never again be destroyed by human dignity. We created Saddamn Hussein. We've accomplished much : violent ambitions, including my own, on a massive scale. Above all, persistent poverty is great. America stands committed to further destruction. No freedom, peace, justice. Fear our principles."

Not gonna get me a speechwriter gig, I fear, but it was massive fun hearing the BushBot™ read it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:39 AM on September 26, 2002

Exactly, hama7.
posted by Zulujines at 3:43 AM on September 26, 2002

"how can a country "reel from sanctions"

If my son was dying because he didn't have the medicines needed - I'd be reeling. Now multiply that by a few hundred thousand. You may agree with sanctions, you may blame Saddam entirely but that doesn't mean a civillian population isn't suffering.

For those in the UK -
I've not done a 'right-on rally' since anti-apartheid on Clapham Common in '84 but this shakes out years of apathy, opposing fundamentalist warmongers is where it's at.

Make it viral - Embankment, high-noon, Saturday.
posted by niceness at 3:44 AM on September 26, 2002

you may blame Saddam entirely

Well, I do.

And I am sorry too. I do not want to turn this into another political thread, but I started it.

The Bush speech was really very funny, and fun.
posted by hama7 at 3:56 AM on September 26, 2002

It doesn't have to be a political thread - it could be one about Web marketing. Personally I thought it was a great viral stunt, and I thought that it was interesting that a cause (rather than a manufacturer or brand) had gone to such lengths to create an original and telling Web meme.
posted by skylar at 4:39 AM on September 26, 2002

here's mine (I added punctuation for effect and structure):

"In one day we've accomplished much on a massive scale. America stands committed to...to kill generations and innocent lives side by side. Ladies and gentlemen, my country, the United States, squandered lives so that further destruction, suffering, deceitful dictators (including my own government) would be defended above all."
posted by cru de meon at 4:43 AM on September 26, 2002

ladies and gentleman, we *thud*

love the SFX stuff
posted by ginz at 4:55 AM on September 26, 2002

SFX should have included and there should be a tab for "There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know its in Texas, probably in Tennessee..."
posted by benjh at 5:18 AM on September 26, 2002

sorry...

SFX should have included [choking on pretzel] and there should be a tab for "There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know its in Texas, probably in Tennessee..."
posted by benjh at 5:19 AM on September 26, 2002

The real thing is so much funnier.
posted by CrazyJub at 5:32 AM on September 26, 2002

CrazyJub... dear lord, that's hilarious.

Here's my contribution. [sound/self-link]

Btw, Matt, I used Total Recorder. I think it recorded directly from the soundcard, and sound can be saved in too many formats.
posted by precocious at 5:56 AM on September 26, 2002

I just love how people find humor in an app ridiculing the prez but have the smile wiped from their face when they read an opinion that crosses that of the same just-ridiculed man. that is the real zinger. if you know your stance then there is nothing wrong with reading the ideas of those who disagree with you.
posted by n9 at 6:05 AM on September 26, 2002

n9: I find humor in an app ridiculing the prez, and I think he's a scumbag puppet controlled by Big Greed and the oiligopoly. Thus, I really enjoyed making Bush say:

"Ladies and gentlemen, America stands committed to wickedness... including my own. Without persistent poverty on a massive scale, the United States would be destroyed. There can be no law of morality in my country. Saddam Hussein is great! We created suffering by [our] broken treaties; above all, we fear peace and freedom."

And I only had to resort to one homonym!
posted by dfowler at 6:40 AM on September 26, 2002

I like his little MacDonald's badge. Its fun to sfx bits on top of words, makes it sound all like cool and stuff. Dhartungs right tho, more malaproprisms needed. And maybe a 'that guys a grade A a**hole'. ahem..

About the Saturday protest, how big dya reckon the discrepancy between police figures for the number of people and the organisers figures will be? I remember at the anti-bombing Afghanistan one it was in the 100,000 region. For the countryside one that just happened, the two sides astonishingly agreed at 400k..
posted by Mossy at 7:06 AM on September 26, 2002

Are we sure this isn't the actual application used in the West Wing to "write" his speeches?
posted by crookdimwit at 7:31 AM on September 26, 2002

Posted for posterity: "Ladies and gentlemen, the United States -- my country -- will *woody* [not audible] kill innocent lives on a massive scale. Violent ambitions, including my own, must never again be destroyed by nations without wickedness. *burp* America stands committed to conflict in the world *wet fart* and freedom shared by all. *laugh, drum roll, crowd boo* Further destruction... is great. Peace - do - no - justice."
posted by livingdots at 7:36 AM on September 26, 2002

Too bad your President's not as eloquent as this guy.
posted by damclean2 at 7:46 AM on September 26, 2002

I love how no matter how carefully I construct my words, inevitably someone will pick them apart and use them to point out the error of my thinking. It's like being psychoanalyzed; just not as fun.

n9, this has nothing to do with my political stance, as I said earlier. I think it's interesting how you just assumed I was offended by the anti-war statements. That is not the case. Not at all. In fact, I deeply respect those views, and I'm not offended by them in the least. My point is that this is cute and funny, and one click turns it into serious and passionate. That is all I meant, nothing more.
posted by Zulujines at 8:00 AM on September 26, 2002

This is very, very funny!
posted by PoliticalJunkie at 8:07 AM on September 26, 2002

It no worky and more. I wanna play!
posted by jammer at 9:35 AM on September 26, 2002

Sadly, I think the server may have DOWNED this link... BOOO. Well it was either the ISP or the CIA. (hee hee hee)
posted by FilmMaker at 9:39 AM on September 26, 2002

Ladies and gentlemen, conflict is great. We've accomplished much, including my own violent ambitions, so that one day there can be persistent poverty on a massive scale in the world. Generations will be without freedom, but not fear. We created Saddam Hussein. We, the United States government, are the raging disease.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:05 AM on September 26, 2002

Darn. I couldn't get it to work. Anybody know what I need at my end to play?
posted by realjanetkagan at 11:22 AM on September 26, 2002

It's back up and it made me laugh almost as much as his actual speeches. Maybe next time we'll try electing a president who can speak properly. And on the anti-war statements made throughout the site, well thats called freedom of speech. Use it well before our 'education' president manages to wrestle it away.
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:56 PM on September 26, 2002

You need Flash to have this web site work properly.
posted by PoliticalJunkie at 1:12 PM on September 26, 2002

We ELECTED this guy?

Oh yeah.... I guess we did.....

If you're referring to that shady debacle that occurred a couple of years ago.....

Ya know we have a saying back here in New Jersey.....

um.....no wait...... what the hell state do i live in?.....
posted by fake_plastic_trees at 1:13 PM on September 26, 2002

"Ladies and gentlemen we *wet fart* on a massive scale. We've accomplished much: we created fear and suffering but not raging disease. Human dignity must never again be shared by all. There can be no law of morality. Wickedness is great. Above all, innocent lives - including my own - would be destroyed by our principles... *laugh*"
posted by arc at 3:08 PM on September 26, 2002

"My country must never again do the government. America stands committed to kill innocent lives, justice, and law of morality, on a massive scale. The United States violent ambition, conflict our principles, including my own. *fart* We created Saddam Hussein so that further destruction would be shared by all *boo!* *drum roll* *thud*"

Cool link. Me and some friends will be going to the protest on Saturday. Not sure if it'll achieve anything, but it certainly won't if no one goes..
posted by Orange Goblin at 3:35 PM on September 26, 2002

I thought it was kind of weird that you have to drag the little phrase boxes to overlap with each other by almost half if you want the timing to be right. The little playback bar should move a lot faster.
posted by kindall at 4:23 PM on September 26, 2002

My 'Bush speech' turns out as funny & as original as most of y'alls. (",):

Ladies and Gentlemen, [burp] we've accomplished much and squandered lives without comprehensive human dignity. fear government. [laugh] my country destroyed on a massive scale [drum roll] innocent lives. america stands committed to deceitful dictators but not our principles [scream] further destruction one day. we created saddam hussein. [boos]
niceness & orangegoblin - Me too (re. no longer apathetic) I'll be there, but maybe on my own. txt me to rendezvous if poss. , # on my profile page. + anyone else going. Prolly not feasible, but we could turn it into a MeFi Lefty Cabal^TM Authorised Meet-Up!
posted by dash_slot- at 4:31 PM on September 26, 2002

Ladies and (crowd boo)...We will do without our principles. (scream) We've accomplished much in my country, (drum roll) the United States (laugh), including my own government and (pause) Afghanistan and beyond. We created Iraq by squandered lives on a massive scale. America stands committed to the law of morality shared by all deceitful dictators. (pause) Saddam Hussein is great!
posted by hippugeek at 9:55 PM on September 26, 2002

Hmm, weird. I do have flash but it's an oldy. Maybe I need an update. Meanwhile, I think I'll read the other links ;)
posted by realjanetkagan at 12:50 PM on September 28, 2002