Comments on: Comments on 20487

Post number 20487

jcterminal — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:27:07 -0800

omg we're all going to die, which means the hurricanes, the war against terrorism, high school free speech... it's all a big nothing!

By: Danelope

Danelope — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:31:22 -0800

<looks at the calendar> Well, I guess I was right...

By: SpaceCadet

SpaceCadet — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:31:23 -0800

"[The sun]...will blow apart like an out-of-control nuclear reactor within six years," predicts Dr. Van der Meer. Wow. Any more stories on this? Is it a joke?

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:35:42 -0800

ah crap! and me still a virgin.

By: gwong

gwong — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:35:51 -0800

Wow. Any more stories on this? You're really living up to your moniker, aren't ya SpaceCadet? :)

By: quarantine

quarantine — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:36:39 -0800

SpaceCadet: You're joking, right? I can never tell on MetaFilter. Of course it's a joke. In addition to all the internal evidence, it's the frigging Weekly World News for Pete's sake. Their motto? "Not really news, or is it?"

By: Danelope

Danelope — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:37:00 -0800

Yes, SpaceCadet. Not only is the sun in imminent danger, but the Earth's core has stopped rotating as well. And without a rotating core, the planet is completely unprotected from cosmic radiation.

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:40:17 -0800

I'd like to take a moment at this time to pimp existentialism and point out that we ARE all going to die, just in 60 years, not 6, and that the hurricanes, war, and high school free speech are STILL big nothings. Just a friendly reminder from the group of people never invited to parties by anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances whatsoever!

By: SimStupid

SimStupid — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:40:52 -0800

"Dr. Van der Meer, leader of a team of Amsterdam-based space scientists who've been tracking the changes in the Sun" It's good to see they've moved on from simply studying the dark side of the moon.

By: SpaceCadet

SpaceCadet — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:43:10 -0800

OK, so I am gullible, but the "solar eruption, more than 30 times the length of Earth's diameter" did happen. If this is "entertainment" passed as a joke, it's very misleading, regardless of how unbelievable it might be.

By: tarbox

tarbox — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:44:29 -0800

from annie hall: Alvy's mother: He's been depressed. All of a sudden, he can't do anything. Doctor: Why are you depressed Alvy? Alvy's mother: Tell Dr. Flicker. (To the doctor) It's something he read. Doctor: Something he read, huh? Alvy: The universe is expanding...Well, the universe is everything, and if it's expanding, some day it will break apart and that will be the end of everything. Alvy's mother: What is that your business? (To the doctor) He stopped doing his homework. Alvy: What's the point? Alvy's mother: What has the universe got to do with it? You're here in Brooklyn. Brooklyn is not expanding. Doctor: It won't be expanding for billions of years, yet Alvy. And we've got to try to enjoy ourselves while we're here, huh, huh? Ha, ha, ha. (He laughs before taking another drag on his cigarette)

By: Ufez Jones

Ufez Jones — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:45:07 -0800

Just a friendly reminder from the group of people never invited to parties by anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances whatsoever! Damn, that explains so much. I guess we could throw our own existentialist parties, but, eh, what's the point?

By: Danelope

Danelope — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:46:14 -0800

NASA refuses to confirm the Euro-pean scientists' assertions and a White House source said, "We don't need anyone spreading more panic now." Foolish hu-mans have ignored the warning signs for years! Even now, they refuse to listen to these "Euro-peans". WHARG WHARG WHARG!! <wriggles his tentacles>

By: readymade

readymade — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:47:19 -0800

I feel like kind of a creep for pointing this out, but it's from the Weekly World News, possibly my favorite supermarket grocery reading.

By: crunchburger

crunchburger — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:48:14 -0800

If God had wanted that solar flare to hit the Earth, he would have miracled its ass over here.

By: mirla

mirla — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:52:47 -0800

Come on you guys, ease up. The thing was on Yahoo, and we all know everything good goes through Yahoo. Yahooooo-hoo! (I looked at it twice too, SpaceCadet. Then all I could think was, thank my lucky stars - or star in this case - I wouldn't have to pay off my grad school credit card debt.)

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:54:50 -0800

Well, screw my car payments then.

By: quarantine

quarantine — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:55:32 -0800

OK, so I am gullible, but the "solar eruption, more than 30 times the length of Earth's diameter" did happen. Not to be a spoilsport, but the proper answer is "So what?" 30 earth diameters is approximately two-tenths of 1% of the distance to the earth to the sun. Or in more familiar terms, if the sun is Los Angeles and the earth is New York, the flare is less than six miles long. Sure, it causes some static, but the earth is in no danger.

By: quarantine

quarantine — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:56:16 -0800

Err, "from the earth to the sun".

By: dmd

dmd — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 19:56:18 -0800

As a subject in a study I did in Statistics for the Behavioral Sciences comparing people's tendencies to believe information presented to them on newsprint, pamphlet, or computer screen back in 1995 said ... How could it be false? If it wasn't true, the computer would have rejected it.

By: brism

brism — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 20:02:20 -0800

There is a better explanation (with less drama) from NASA about this particular prominence.

By: nyxxxx

nyxxxx — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 20:02:27 -0800

Well, now that we can be certain we will die, the only choice is how. So, I'm going to take my life early. I'm going to go to the zoo and get a lion, then put a remote-control bomb up its butt. Then I'm going to let the lion out of it's cage, and it will attack me. Then, I'm going to push the button on the bomb, and the lion and I will die as one.

By: namespan

namespan — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 20:10:44 -0800

One of the coolest books I've ever read is called The Forge of God. End of the world scenario, set up very subtly by alien Von Neuman machines, really wonderfully written by Greg Bear. Interesting science of planetary scale destruction/catastrophe, interesting premise of how individual people and society in general copes with the news. Semi-happy ending too. Not all of humanity dies.

By: lucien

lucien — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 20:26:39 -0800

"I'd like to take a moment at this time to pimp existentialism and point out that we ARE all going to die, just in 60 years, not 6 (....)" I guess that little snippet of information instantly cheered up all the 40+ Metafilter users!

By: Jubey

Jubey — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 20:41:00 -0800

It's the apocalypse...

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 21:25:45 -0800

Just a friendly reminder from the group of people never invited to parties by anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances whatsoever! Crimany, they are having a little party over at 20472 right now! and I never got my invitation-- I had to crash. (Silly me for thinking they were discussing some comic.)

By: SpaceCadet

SpaceCadet — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 21:37:05 -0800

I might sound a little innocent, but isn't it just plain wrong for Yahoo to allow out-and-out lies to be on their pages? What's the point of it? Is it just for messageboards to make jokes about it? It reads like a Viz magazine "article" without the irony, just told deadpan. And the point is....???

By: Termite

Termite — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 22:49:47 -0800

Did anyone Google this guy, the "Dutch astrophysicist Dr. Piers Van der Meer"? He's got two, repeat two, hits. One of them is the Yahoo news page in the first post, the other one leads here, with a link to this page, where the story probably originated. I guess he doesn't even exist. What a pity, this was such a good story to start your day with.
Now for something more interesting: namespan, what is a Von Neuman machine?

By: eddydamascene

eddydamascene — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 22:54:10 -0800

namespan: ...alien Von Neuman machines.. what, do they separate program and data store? [snort][snort][wheeze] [crickets]

By: SpaceCadet

SpaceCadet — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 22:59:44 -0800

So what is this? Disinformation?? You can't be telling me that this is entertainment??!

By: Skwirl

Skwirl — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 23:19:01 -0800

Ohoh, you're telling me there was a recent MeFi thread about high school free speech? And I missed it? That's like, been my pet issue since I was a high school editor... Oh. It's just a story about a Satanist Club. Isn't that mostly freedom of assembly and/or religion?

By: Bearman

Bearman — Wed, 02 Oct 2002 23:21:42 -0800

You can't be telling me that this is entertainment??! It's better than this.

By: jono

jono — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 00:56:07 -0800

Termite: Now for something more interesting: namespan, what is a Von Neuman machine? Correct me if I am wrong, but it is my understanding that a Von Neuman device is a self replicating machine, i.e. one von Neuman robot should be able to build an army of them ....and take over the world. ok, the last part is not crucial to the definition.

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 04:46:15 -0800

If NASA (or you for that matter) discovered that the sun was going to go supernova in 6 years, would you tell anyone? If you found out, for certain that the sun would go supernova in 6 years, what would you do? Would the earth descend into chaos? Would be have a temporary hedonistic paradise?

By: kittyloop

kittyloop — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 05:39:45 -0800

Hey, thanks for the spoiler namespan. I started The Forge of God last night. Now I'll just move on to the sequel!

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 05:46:41 -0800

The headline:The Sun Will Explode In Less Than Six Years! If a headline has an exclamation point, it's not a reputable story. The source is immaterial. I have spoken.

By: whatzit

whatzit — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 06:46:58 -0800

More people dealing with the Earth's last days: Nevil Shute's On the Beach. Brilliant book about Australians dealing with their last days after a nuclear holocaust in the Northern hemisphere. Thoughtful, but rather light reading.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 08:05:03 -0800

The strange behavior of the sun proves that we must stop CFC emissions now. It's really, really, really gotten bad.

By: rich

rich — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 08:16:58 -0800

If a headline has an exclamation point, it's not a reputable story. The source is immaterial. I have spoken. I guess WWII never ended because the headline that day was "IT'S OVER!" in the New York Times.

By: briank

briank — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 08:41:00 -0800

I'm surprised they didn't report that Satan's face was also clearly visible in the flare. The WWN likes that bit of p-shopping a lot.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 08:44:50 -0800

If a headline has an exclamation point, it's not a reputable story. The source is immaterial. I have spoken. I guess WWII never ended because the headline that day was "IT'S OVER!" in the New York Times. posted by rich at 8:16 AM PST on October 3 Why am I holding my ass? Oh I remember: Rich just handed it to me. Still, a headline is no place for an exclamation point, IMHO. Just adds an edge of hysteria.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 09:03:46 -0800

If a headline has an exclamation point, it's not a reputable story. Oh no. Does that mean this is all a big hoax too?

By: uftheory

uftheory — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 10:23:47 -0800

"You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this."

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 10:34:18 -0800

Perhaps the fact that the story is in the Entertainment Gossip section might clue some people in... or not.

By: namespan

namespan — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 16:15:37 -0800

jono et all: a Von Neuman machine is indeed a self-replicating device. And in said book, it not only takes over the world, it actually blows up the earth and sends the crust into orbit (interesting mechanism, too -- plasma encoated dense antimatter "pellet" meets dense plasma encoated matter "pellet" inside the earth. Hilarity -- no, wait, I mean energy ensues. People die, national parks are destroyed, and the earth becomes a fresh liquid primordial ball of magma and refuse. y eddydamascene: you made me laugh. : )

By: baylink

baylink — Thu, 03 Oct 2002 21:33:52 -0800

More people dealing with the Earth's last days: Nevil Shute's On the Beach. Freaked my sister when she was younger; I've never seen/read it. Like the song, though.

By: Spaz_X

Spaz_X — Sat, 05 Oct 2002 13:15:40 -0800

I remember eating a bowl of oatmeal that made me feel that way.