Join 3,442 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Mayonnaise.
October 18, 2002 10:23 AM   Subscribe

Mayonnaise. It spawned the discovery of the Casimir effect, which proves that the universe will always expand. Invented in 1756, George Washington Carver seemed to have his hand in it. Not to be confused with its more-disgusting knockoff, mayonnaise has a lot going for it. A favorite Spelling Bee word, a racial litmus test, a hair conditioner--is there anything mayonnaise can't do? Mefi says you can even win prizes with it! What other condiments have spawned theories? Sunday school kids learn about faith and mustard seeds, but is there anything out there for ketchup?
posted by TheManWhoKnowsMostThings (100 comments total)

 
My wife thinks mayonnaise is disgusting. I mainly just ignore it. Interesting to know it has such a colorful history though.
posted by troutfishing at 10:25 AM on October 18, 2002


Nice post. I still think it’s gross.
posted by Firefly at 10:26 AM on October 18, 2002


is there anything mayonnaise can't do?

It can't taste good to me on french fries.
posted by MrBaliHai at 10:27 AM on October 18, 2002


ihatemayonnaise.com used to be a site run by a guy who really really hated mayonnaise, but now it's just some strange experiment in really really big text.
posted by briank at 10:29 AM on October 18, 2002


You knocked Miraclewhip! An angry baloney-on-whitebread- totting lynch mob will be here shortly.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:30 AM on October 18, 2002


Miracle Whip? That sweet pap? Ugh!
posted by mischief at 10:31 AM on October 18, 2002


mayonnaise cookies... I f%$&ing hate living in the south.
posted by machaus at 10:32 AM on October 18, 2002


I love mayonnaise. Bathing in a tub full of mayonnaise is high on my list of things to do at least once in my life.

Anybody who's ever done that here on MeFi? Any pointers, tips, tricks for me?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:32 AM on October 18, 2002


the last time i had mayo was in 1986, on a turkey sandwich from a deli on columbus circle in new york. i guess the fact that it was yellow-green in color should have tipped me off.
posted by modge at 10:33 AM on October 18, 2002


Mayonnaise. A sliced banana. Two pieces of bread.

The perfect sandwich. (It helps if the mayonnaise is Duke's.)
posted by konolia at 10:34 AM on October 18, 2002


It helps if the mayonnaise is Duke's

How's that Mint Julep tasting?
posted by machaus at 10:35 AM on October 18, 2002


getting the mayonnaise stink out of your hair is difficult, eggs do the same thing without the smell. Flanders, if you bathe in mayonnaise, you will reek-ah.
posted by whatnot at 10:38 AM on October 18, 2002


mayonnaise cookies... I f%$&ing hate living in the south.

You should try Velveeta fudge sometime.
posted by chuq at 10:38 AM on October 18, 2002


How's that Mint Julep tasting?
Goes great with Tuna Biscuits!
posted by bunktone at 10:40 AM on October 18, 2002


Any pointers, tips, tricks for me?

From one mayo-lover to another, don't do it, man. Terrible for the skin. I'm a pariah now.

However, read Mayonnaise and the Origin of Life. Truly, mayo's the key to everything.
posted by D at 10:41 AM on October 18, 2002


Oh, I bookmarked that recipe for the mayonnaise cookies.
I gotta try that.
posted by konolia at 10:41 AM on October 18, 2002


more-disgusting? ... with the implication that mayonnaise is somewhat disgusting to start? Some folks here seem to agree. All I can say is y'all just don't know how to live. Béarnaise, hollandaise, béchamel, Rémoulade: mayonnaise, Dijonaise? -- bring it on baby!
posted by Dick Paris at 10:41 AM on October 18, 2002


Oh, and speaking of Miracle Whip ... a childhood guilty pleasure that has continued into adulthood:

Two slices Oroweat Oatnut Bread, toasted
Skippy Extra-Crunchy Peanut Butter on one side
Miracle Whip on the other (use plenty)
(Mashed banana optional)
Assemble and eat.

Mmmmmmmm.

(Don't knock it until you've tried it.)
posted by chuq at 10:41 AM on October 18, 2002


Sweet litmus-test link! (Tasty post, as well, TMWKMT. *licks fingers*) And it's true: a house divided by mayonnaise cannot stand.
posted by allaboutgeorge at 10:43 AM on October 18, 2002


My little sister's favorite childhood lunch:
2 slices of Piggly Wiggly brand white bread
Lots of Kraft Mayonnaise

That's right folks, a mayonnaise sandwich!
posted by bmxGirl at 10:45 AM on October 18, 2002


Speaking of Béarnaise, mayo can be improved with the addition of a little tarragon. Also, Mrs. Alums and I like a topping made from mayo and horseradish on our pork chops.
posted by alumshubby at 10:45 AM on October 18, 2002


Béarnaise, hollandaise, béchamel, Rémoulade: mayonnaise, Dijonaise? -- bring it on baby!

I'm with you Dick -- White & Creamy is my favorite food group.
posted by moses at 10:46 AM on October 18, 2002


Ah, the perennial Miracle Whip vs. Mayonnaise debate. For me it's gotta be Hellmans - Best Foods west of the Rockies. No Kraft mayo, tofu-mayo, Hains mayo, low fat mayo, etc. But facts being what they are, I can't have much mayo either.

My favorite: toast (pref whole wheat), bacon (turkey bacon these days) and Hellman's. No messing it up with tomato or lettuce.
posted by Red58 at 10:48 AM on October 18, 2002


That's the part of Undercover Brother that really got to me. Yes, I went and saw it, so sue me. Why were there so many jokes about white people loving mayonnaise? There seems to be a consensus among the white people that I know that it is disgusting. Is it a north/south thing instead?

[Or is it a hurtful stereotype that is perpetuating the yawning racial ginnungagap in this country?]
posted by Hildago at 10:49 AM on October 18, 2002


People in Iowa put butter on their sandwiches. Yuck.

(They made fun of ME for my mayonnaise. But what can you expect from an area with no grits? Everybody KNOWS that's what butter is for!)
posted by konolia at 10:54 AM on October 18, 2002


I'm with you Dick -- White & Creamy is my favorite food group.

This made me giggle uncontrollably.
posted by Stan Chin at 10:56 AM on October 18, 2002


Why were there so many jokes about white people loving mayonnaise?

The precedent for this was defined by Martin Mull's mockumentary "The History of White People in America" in which a peek inside Fred Willard's fridge found a jar of mayonnaise labelled for each family member. The White Trash Cookbook is another standard bearer.
posted by machaus at 10:58 AM on October 18, 2002


I've been eating this sandwich since childhood:

Slice of wheat bread
Miracle whip on one side (thick)
Bologna
Cheddar cheese carved off a block
Louisianna Hot Sauce (I currently use Texas Pete)
Other slice of wheat bread

Don't put the miracle whip on both slices of bread, or else the hot sauce won't absorb and will come running down your arms/chin/etc the moment you pick it up.

I like Miracle Whip.
posted by Lafe at 10:59 AM on October 18, 2002


I prefer mayo to Miracle Whip most of the time... but you can't put mayo and shredded cheddar cheese on pineapple.
posted by Foosnark at 11:00 AM on October 18, 2002


Texas Pete also has an honored place in my home. Don't go near me with Tabasco-it's nasty.
posted by konolia at 11:02 AM on October 18, 2002


Actually béchamel has almost nothing in common with mayonnaise. Béchamel is really just a thickened sauce where mayonnaise is an emulsion. The main draw for mayonnaise is that it's the best way to get a huge amount of fat onto something without having it run all over.
posted by y6y6y6 at 11:02 AM on October 18, 2002


People in Iowa put butter on their sandwiches. Yuck.

That would be a smoorbrood (spelled completely incorrectly, but phonetically okay) -- literally translated as buttered bread. AKA: a smorgasboard.
posted by Dick Paris at 11:05 AM on October 18, 2002


y6 cubed,

Okay, but they are both certainly in the same panthéon of delicious fatty things that make other delicious things more delicious. Yipes saliva from keyboard.
posted by Dick Paris at 11:09 AM on October 18, 2002


Whenever I get the barest whiff of salad dressing in the air, I start gagging. Spreadable corruption, that's what I calls it! Yar.
posted by picea at 11:10 AM on October 18, 2002


I prefer a little flonase on my sandwiches, thanks.
posted by xil at 11:17 AM on October 18, 2002


People in Iowa put butter on their sandwiches. Yuck.

Actually, this is fairly common in Europe as well. Don't knock it till you've tried it- health concerns aside, fat makes everything taste better.

Mayonnaise is definitely a grossly-overused product, but fresh homemade mayonnaise is light years from that chemical puree sold by Kraft and Hellmann's.
posted by mkultra at 11:19 AM on October 18, 2002


Butter and bologna do NOT go together.
posted by konolia at 11:21 AM on October 18, 2002


I know Stan Chin pointed it out already, but:
I'm with you Dick -- White & Creamy is my favorite food group. !!!!!
I'm nearly falling off my chair over here. Must be tired. Or a simpleton.
posted by Fabulon7 at 11:23 AM on October 18, 2002


"It can't taste good to me on french fries."

I seen 'em do it man, they fuckin' drown 'em in that shit.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:28 AM on October 18, 2002


When I moved to North Carolina and in with my SO, there was never any discussion or question of mayo. It was just Duke's, almost as if Duke's were the only brand available in the supermarket. Which it isn't. But it might as well be.

Lucky me, I had no mayo loyalty entering into our cohabitation so I thankfully welcomed my regional brand of emulsified fat and oil overlord.
posted by jennyb at 11:28 AM on October 18, 2002


I don't know about a house divided but I do know they call it My-naise in New Orleans--as in I'll have the bacon cheese Fatburger and don't hold the my-naise...
posted by y2karl at 11:29 AM on October 18, 2002


I cast my vote for Miracle Whip, too. Tuna fish just isn't the same without it.
posted by stevefromsparks at 11:34 AM on October 18, 2002


I remember being in a hotel in Omaha in the midst of a cross-country drive and watching a Hellman's commercial start while watching the evening news. After a split second there was a flash of static and the commercial restarted as the correct 'Best Foods" branded version, identical except for the label on the jar.

It was like a thrilling, forbidden glimpse of the Great Oz pulling strings behind the curtain....or I just need to get out more.
posted by jalexei at 11:34 AM on October 18, 2002


art history iconography mixed with mayonnaise
posted by machaus at 11:38 AM on October 18, 2002


I cast my vote for Miracle Whip, too. Tuna fish just isn't the same without it.

Aiiighh! That should be a jail-able offense. There's mayo, and there's...well, not having it if you don't have mayo. That's as bad as freaks who prefer Cool-Whip (shudder) over Redi-Whip...
posted by jalexei at 11:40 AM on October 18, 2002


Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise Club
posted by machaus at 11:46 AM on October 18, 2002


My maternal grandmother was horrified to discover that I insisted that tuna salad had to be prepared with Hellman's and never, ever that nasty miraclewhip. She responded by claiming I must have picked it up the nasty habit from my dad's side of the family, and was even more perturbed to find out that I'd gotten it from my mom. She couldn't believe her own daughter's betrayal.

Mayonnaise on fries? Tasty, but I'd rather have bbq sauce. Mayonnaise on burgers is a necessity. Mayonnaise should never be mixed with cooked pasta.
posted by jburka at 12:00 PM on October 18, 2002


For me it's gotta be Hellmans - Best Foods west of the Rockies

I'm with Red. Thanks, ManWhoKnows, for linking to the Hellman's site that explains the history of that distinction (something I'd always wondered about), and for a great post in general. Two quibbles: if mayonnaise was invented in 1756 it's hard to see what G.W. Carver could have had to do with it (and the linked site doesn't explain), and the "lot going for it" link seemed like one corporate promotion too many.

Miracle Whip, feh! And mkultra, shame on you for linking it with delicious Hellman's. (Yes, homemade is better, but who has the time?)
posted by languagehat at 12:09 PM on October 18, 2002


Don't put down miracle Whip! While it can never be the original, it's still tasty and zesty.
posted by Bag Man at 12:09 PM on October 18, 2002


How many of you knew that ketchup was invented by the Chinese?
posted by titboy at 12:16 PM on October 18, 2002


machaus -- Aha! That's where it went!
posted by briank at 12:19 PM on October 18, 2002


Any peops from the South ever fix:
half of a pear (from a can)...
a scoop of mayonnaise on top of the pear...
with a few pieces of american cheese on the top...
all on a piece of lettuce?
posted by bmxGirl at 12:20 PM on October 18, 2002


Can I vote for this as best Front Page Post of the week? It is educational, provoked a great discussion and some of the links cracked me up. My hat is off to TheManWhoKnowsMostThings.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:21 PM on October 18, 2002


I will only eat mayonnaise at home. Fast food mayo(or any fast food sauce for that matter) scares the piss out of me. Salmonella anyone?

A while back, I stopped buying mayonnaise in favor of fake fat-free "mayo". My wife pitched a fit until she tasted it on a sandwich and couldn't tell the difference.

On the other hand, Miracle Whip tastes like a bucket of fermented ass.
posted by Blubble at 12:22 PM on October 18, 2002


Actually, titboy, I'm a bit of a part time gastronomic anthropologist and I knew that ketchup was a Chinese invention.

Of course, I've got an inordinate amount of free time on my hands, so my freakish attention to food trivia should not be taken as an indicator of the collective knowledge of the population at large.
posted by bemmett at 12:23 PM on October 18, 2002


I knew someone would call me on the GW Carver link. I stretched too far!!

I humbly apologize, languagehat, and shall now go bathe in mayonnaise....
posted by TheManWhoKnowsMostThings at 12:25 PM on October 18, 2002


Thanks, TheManWhoKnowsMostThings, for the Casimir force-mayonnaise link. I'm going to be repeating that to all my physicist friends.
posted by Johnny Assay at 12:26 PM on October 18, 2002


What on earth is Miracle Whip? Is it some sort of industrial grade mayonnaise?
posted by Celery at 12:28 PM on October 18, 2002


Ah, the perennial Miracle Whip vs. Mayonnaise debate. For me it's gotta be Hellmans

Oh, I never pit the two against one another. They are entirely separate entities. For instance, that peanut butter sandwich would be vile with mayonnaise -- only Miracle Whip would work. And when it comes to most other sandwiches, I prefer mayonnaise -- Hellmann's or Best Foods, depending on what part of the country you're in. I remember growing up with Blue Plate Mayonnaise in New Orleans.

Try making mayonnaise from scratch sometime and using it as the French intended -- as a sauce. There's also that wonderful garlicky variation, aïoli.

My favorite mayonnaise variation, btw ... mix in a little adobo sauce from a can of chipotle chiles. ¡Ay caramba!
posted by chuq at 12:30 PM on October 18, 2002


Butter and bologna do NOT go together.

I don't know about bologna, but butter and salami on a baguette in Paris is heavenly. (Especially with an Oragina and little tartine.)

(French butter's different than that American crap, too.)
posted by gramcracker at 12:30 PM on October 18, 2002


Any peops from the South ever fix:
half of a pear (from a can)...
a scoop of mayonnaise on top of the pear...
with a few pieces of american cheese on the top...
all on a piece of lettuce?


Except for the cheese, yup. Or to be more accurate, I have been served that. Disappointing when you expected the white stuff to be whipped cream! (but I was a kid and didn't know better.)
posted by konolia at 12:31 PM on October 18, 2002


Japanese mayonnaise is the best!
posted by Carlos Quevedo at 12:52 PM on October 18, 2002


I am suddenly reminded of the people I saw in Greece (although they were probably not Greek) eating french fry and mayonnaise sandwiches. I guess they're cheap and filling.
posted by Red58 at 1:18 PM on October 18, 2002


Carlos: Che pibe, bienvenido a MetaFilter! I used to live in BA (went to Lincoln High, lived in Belgrano and Olivos), and I'm delighted to have a porteño around. Hope things get better down there...
posted by languagehat at 1:24 PM on October 18, 2002


What on earth is Miracle Whip?

a salad dressing.
posted by tolkhan at 1:30 PM on October 18, 2002


I LOVE French Fries dipped in mayo.

Recently, I even tried dipping fried onion rings in mayo and they taste just as good!

Maybe it's the frying factor... raw potatoes in mayo = not good, raw onions in mayo = not as good.

But deepfry it all and yum yum!!!
posted by titboy at 1:32 PM on October 18, 2002


It can't taste good to me on french fries.

Utahns (and transplants) know all about fry sauce: two parts ketchup to one part mayonnaise. Invented at the Arctic Circle fast-food joint in 1949, and now as popular as Jello and Olympic scandals.

[Gag]
posted by gottabefunky at 1:33 PM on October 18, 2002


As a Northern European transplant, it took me a long time to understand the allure of mayo. Have come to appreciate it in tuna salad sandwiches, but honestly - mayo and sweet stuff??? That grosses me out. Besides, everyone knows that the best dipping sauce for fries is ranch dressing w/hot sauce mixed in... Of course, it also took me a while to try peanutbutter and jelly. And carrotcake. There are some things that just don't seem to go together unless you've grown up not questioning them. Though I'm sure most of you don't find the idea of fish cooked in lye very appetizing either. Aah, the pleasures of regional cuisine. (And Dick, the spelling is smørbrød. The literal translation is smeared [spread] bread, not necessarily buttered - though in most Scandinavian languages smør also means butter. For the other purists in here... )
posted by widdershins at 1:34 PM on October 18, 2002


Gottabefunky:
Oh No! You revealed the secret formula! They'll be after all of us now!
By the way -- are there any Arctic Circles still open? I loved the french fries and cheap hamburgers.
posted by stevefromsparks at 1:44 PM on October 18, 2002


Arctic Circle is still around. Just ate at one the other day, and yes, had my fry sauce. :-)
posted by Plunge at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2002


salmonella, anyone?

No, thanks.

I stopped buying mayonnaise in favor of fake fat-free "mayo". My wife pitched a fit until she tasted it on a sandwich and couldn't tell the difference.

Can't tell the difference? That shit tastes like chemical burns. Only the finest animal fat-based sandwich sauces for me, please. (You can really taste the animals!™) But to each his own, I suppose - carry on then.
posted by D at 2:18 PM on October 18, 2002


I was raised in a family that believed miracle whip was mayonnaise, or at least the best sort of mayonnaise. My friends occasionally kidded me about it but I loved it and didn't like hellmans. My wife was raised on Hellmans and hated miracle whip growing up, so we keep a jar of each in the fridge. After some time we both realized that each has it's place. I now prefer to make tunafish sandwiches with Hellmans (like her), and she prefers the taste of deviled eggs with miracle whip (like me)...and we both like an occasional crunchy lettuce and miracle whip sandwich. One day she asked me for a bite of mine and was hooked.
posted by Eyegore at 2:26 PM on October 18, 2002


"are there any Arctic Circles still open"

Yeah, baby.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:48 PM on October 18, 2002


I prefer Miracle Whip for tuna sandwichs and mayonnaise for chicken.

Mayonnaise mixed with a little garlic spread on white bread rolls with tons of melted mozzerella and cheddar on them is really, really good.
posted by McBain at 2:51 PM on October 18, 2002


smør

I hope you have had the opportunity of eating an American s'More.
posted by mischief at 3:26 PM on October 18, 2002


Interesting article D.

I don't have a problem with mayo(except all the fat and cholesterol). I am specifically afraid of restaurant and fast food mayo that sits in unrefrigerated containers in hot ass kitchens for hours.
posted by Blubble at 3:43 PM on October 18, 2002


What on earth is Miracle Whip?

a salad dressing.


yeah a 'salad dressing' that tastes like ASS
posted by CoolHandPuke at 3:51 PM on October 18, 2002


Oooo boy...feel the hatred.

I too grew up with Miracle Whip, but added mayo to my repertoire as an adult. Miracle Whip has more tang and more flavor which makes it great for bland foods like chicken salad and deviled eggs.

The strange thing to me is my partner won't have anything to do with either dressing. That means no potato salad, no chicken salad, no deviled eggs, and dry sandwiches. But, ha ha! he doesn't know that I make the garlic toast with mayonnaise and sometimes I stir a little mayo into the day-old macaroni and cheese to make it more creamy.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:14 PM on October 18, 2002


so what is this miracle whip made of? their site doesn't seem to want to tell me the ingredients of miracle whip itself, although they have some pretty inspiring cake recipes.

also, i am quite frightened by these corporate sites disclaimers:

Kraft (their caps)

KRAFT WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES OR INJURY THAT ACCOMPANY OR RESULT FROM YOUR USE OF ITS SITES.

THESE INCLUDE (BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO) DAMAGES OR INJURY CAUSED BY ANY...


USE OF (OR INABILITY TO USE) THE SITES,
USE OF (OR INABILITY TO USE) ANY SITE TO WHICH YOU HYPERLINK FROM OUR SITES;
FAILURE OF PERFORMANCE,
ERROR,
OMISSION,
INTERRUPTION,
DEFECT,
DELAY IN OPERATION OR TRANSMISSION,
COMPUTER VIRUS, OR...
LINE FAILURE.

KEEP IN MIND THAT WE ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING...

DAMAGES INTENDED TO COMPENSATE SOMEONE DIRECTLY FOR A LOSS OR INJURY;
DAMAGES REASONABLY EXPECTED TO RESULT FROM A LOSS OR INJURY (LEGALLY, "CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES");
OTHER MISCELLANEOUS DAMAGES AND EXPENSES RESULTING DIRECTLY FROM A LOSS OR INJURY (LEGALLY, "INCIDENTAL DAMAGES").

FURTHERMORE, WE ARE NOT LIABLE EVEN IF WE'VE BEEN NEGLIGENT OR IF OUR AUTHORIZED REPRESENTATIVE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES -- OR BOTH.

Unilever

Under no circumstances shall Unilever be liable for any damages or injury, including any direct, special, incidental, consequential, punitive or other damages, that may result from the use of, or the inability to use, the web site or any materials in this site, whether in an action of contract, negligence or other tortious action, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of the website or information available in the web site. Unilever shall not be liable even if Unilever or a Unilever authorized representative has been advised of the possibility of such damages. These include but are not limited to damages or injury caused by error, omission, interruption, defect, failure of performance, delay in operation or transmission, line failure or computer virus, worm, trojan horse or other harmful component.

Have people sued for this tortious type of thing in the past? What about loss or injury caused by a use or inability to use their creamy products? The mind boggles.

/space hogging tangent
posted by asok at 4:36 PM on October 18, 2002


mayonnaise... ugh. no thanks. the last time i had mayo willingly was over 15 years ago, and there was vomit involved. there have been several chance encounters since [once i was tricked into eating it], and each time, my stomach told me to never, EVER do it again. something about it just isn't right.

as a result, i LOATHE mayonnaise. so much that my friends often joke when they think i'll be angry over something:

"basmati's going to go from zero to mayonnaise in about 2 seconds."

i cast my vote for mustard.

i also cast my vote against mayostard and mustardayonnaise as well. the two should never, EVER be combined, in a perfect world.

on the hot sauce tip, texas pete is basically tabasco with preservatives added:

***tabasco: peppers, vinegar, salt
***texas pete: peppers, vinegar, salt, xanthan gum and benzoate of soda (to preserve freshness and flavor).

tabasco all the way baby. texas pete is made right here in NC; yet another reason not to trust it.

MUSTARD AND TABASCO POWERS ACTIVATE!
posted by basmati at 6:02 PM on October 18, 2002


I am learning way tooo much for my own good.... (groan....)
posted by divisible at 6:28 PM on October 18, 2002


i also cast my vote against mayostard and mustardayonnaise as well. the two should never, EVER be combined, in a perfect world.

I never make mayonnaise without mustard. Also, I don't remember who was waxing rhapsodic about animal fat, but there's very little animal fat in mayonnaise. It's egg yolks and vegetable oil, with the amount of vegetable oil far exceeding the amount of egg yolk. There is also some acid (lemon juice or vinegar, generally), mustard (usually) and salt. Other possible additions are legion.

Apparently, at some point in history, mayonnaise was considered difficult for the home cook to make, but the advent of the food processor has changed that, forever. Also, salmonella is a concern for some people, but the available data suggest that this problem is very rare indeed, and the presence of acid in the mayo and adequate refrigeration helps keep the bacteria from becoming a problem in those very rare cases where it's present.

The following is not intended for the culinarily timid. It has occurred to me at various times to attempt to make mayonnaise with warm bacon drippings replacing the oil. I have not yet made the attempt. I think that it would set a bit firm and be rather salty, so it might require mixing some vegetable oil in with the bacon drippings, but I imagine the way it would make deviled eggs taste would be enough to get me over my initial reluctance to the idea.
posted by anapestic at 6:38 PM on October 18, 2002


texas pete is basically tabasco with preservatives added:

Not even. Tabasco has a distinct flavor. Texas Pete is different. I HATE tabasco, and refuse to eat it. Texas Pete is wonderful, and I have it at every opportunity.

While we are on the subject of hot sauces, there are many regional/independent brands. I recall one that was named Hotter Than Hell Sauce. I don't think they were too far wrong.
posted by konolia at 8:55 PM on October 18, 2002


Not even. Tabasco has a distinct flavor. Texas Pete is different.

fair enough. however, the ingredients listed are accurate. my comment may be somewhat misleading though, as i don't hate texas pete, i just prefer tabasco most of the time. plus, i try not to pass up opportunities to crack on my home state.

I recall one that was named Hotter Than Hell Sauce. I don't think they were too far wrong.

if it's this one, indeed. it's the bomb; entering AND exiting.
posted by basmati at 9:38 PM on October 18, 2002


Butter and bologna do NOT go together.

konolia, you obviously did not grow up in the midwest with Lutheran church basement sandwiches. A dinner roll, buttered on both sides and slice of Carl Buddig deli meat. Your choice.
posted by pedantic at 10:33 PM on October 18, 2002


The precedent for this was defined by Martin Mull's mockumentary "The History of White People in America" in which a peek inside Fred Willard's fridge found a jar of mayonnaise labelled for each family member. The White Trash Cookbook is another standard bearer.

Thanks Machaus. If the stereotype originates with Fred Willard then it can't be all bad.
posted by Hildago at 12:17 AM on October 19, 2002


Also, one more question for the cooks out there: What separates Mayonnaise from Bernaise and Hollandaise?
posted by Hildago at 12:19 AM on October 19, 2002


Red58: I am suddenly reminded of the people I saw in Greece (although they were probably not Greek) eating french fry and mayonnaise sandwiches.

?? Maybe what you were actually seeing were people eating gyros, which you can choose to have with or without fries included in the pita sandwich. If you get them with fries, the fries usually stick up a little over the top of the pita, and it's quite traditional to have tzadziki on the Gyro, as well, which is made with yogurt, and may have looked like mayo.

For real (good!) french fry sandwiches, you should go to New Orleans for a french fry po-boy, where, as y2karl pointed out, the pronunciation of "mayonnaise" tends to differ, but I will amend his "my-naise" to "my-nez". (And don't forget to wash your hands in the "zinc" afterwards!)
posted by taz at 2:28 AM on October 19, 2002


half of a pear (from a can)...
a scoop of mayonnaise on top of the pear...
with a few pieces of american cheese on the top...
all on a piece of lettuce?


"Easy, stomach."

/Daffy Duck.
posted by emf at 2:52 AM on October 19, 2002


The Belgians, who are actually more enthusiastic about fries than the French, put mayo and/or mustard-based sauces on their frites, and it's quite yummy.

By the way, I've brought back mayo from France because it's much better there (well, what isn't, food-wise?). They sell it in toothpaste-like tubes.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:20 AM on October 19, 2002


They sell it in toothpaste-like tubes.

And you though brushing with Preparation H was bad...
posted by CoolHandPuke at 5:26 AM on October 19, 2002


Does anyone remeber Dijonnaise? They had this ad where they sang about the condiment in question to the tune of "Duke of Earl"--

Di-Di-Di ...Dijonnaise.

Sublime, it was.
posted by jonmc at 9:58 AM on October 19, 2002


anapestic: 1 tablespoon of bacon drippings for every cup of oil should be plenty to achieve the effect you desire.

basmati: Mustard is the primary flavoring in mayonaise.
posted by mischief at 10:17 AM on October 19, 2002


Thanks for picking-up my slack, widdershins.

On a related note: I was at dinner this week with some new arrivals to Paris. My wife ordered the bone marrow appetizer. Served with bread and course salt, wanting to encourage the newcomers to try it, I noted it was just like having a hunk of butter or mayonnaise on your bread -- just better.
posted by Dick Paris at 10:33 AM on October 19, 2002


anapestic: you are talking about baconnaise... the final frontier of sandwich dressings. I dig the way you do business, man.
posted by D at 10:51 AM on October 19, 2002


Carl Buddig deli meat.

Nasty stuff. We have it here and it is evil.
posted by konolia at 12:02 PM on October 19, 2002


"Carl Buddig deli meat.

Nasty stuff. We have it here and it is evil."


Buddig (actually store-brand Buddig clones) quite literally kept my family from starving when we lived in Dallas. There were often times when payday rolled around and a loaf of bread and several packages of deli meats was all (and I do mean all) we could afford for that week.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:25 PM on October 19, 2002


What separates Mayonnaise from Bernaise and Hollandaise

Hollandaise is a rich, tart sauce used in eggs Benedict or poured over asparagus. It is made from egg yolks, butter and lemon juice.

Bernaise is a vinegary sauce used over meats. It is basically hollandaise sauce with the addition of chopped onions, spices, vinegar and white wine,

Mayonnaise is a creamy white sauce without the tartness of the above two. It is made with egg yolks, mustard, oil, and sometimes sugar and/or lemon juice.

Butter and bologna do NOT go together

Surprisingly, peanut butter and bologna do go together; a frequent choice in my childhood.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:32 PM on October 19, 2002


Gravy, you rule -- I think I can now keep my sauces straight. But, being languagehat, I have to make a minor correction in spelling: the second sauce is bearnaise, being (like Henri IV) from the region of Béarn, tucked up against the Pyrenees in the southwest corner of France. I don't know what sauces are native to the Swiss town of Bern(e), and I'm not sure I want to find out.
posted by languagehat at 7:21 AM on October 20, 2002


mischief, are you still a TWO-JAR SLAVE?!

[actually, much like the above question, it's just a reference to a mr. show sketch.]
posted by basmati at 11:34 PM on October 22, 2002


« Older Our Way: The trouble with being the world's only s...  |  The West Wing debunker. ... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments