October 18, 2002

12:36 PM

The Pocket President. Want an enormous tax cut for the wealthy? Need a pesky environmental regulation indefinitely "reviewed"? With the Pocket President, all this and much more is within your grasp. 7 inches tall, printed on sturdy cardboard, and free shipping! You can even download a sample.
posted by josephtate (21 comments total)

josephtate, you've been hoodwinked! This site is a fraud. The pocket president is not actually George W. Bush. How can you tell? Easy:

"...when I sign an executive order next week that requires all computers to be powered with coal or nuclear..."

Excuse me, what's that last word again? Imposter!
posted by soyjoy at 12:47 PM on October 18, 2002

Whoopee, another Bush bashing! People just keep getting more clever and insightful!
[/sarcasm]
posted by Erasmus at 1:05 PM on October 18, 2002

Erasmus, did you sign up just to post that?
posted by mcsweetie at 1:06 PM on October 18, 2002

Whoopee, another whiner. How about just enjoying some fun?
[/sincerity]
posted by tolkhan at 1:07 PM on October 18, 2002

Can I get a Pocket Governor that looks like Gray Davis?
posted by MrBaliHai at 1:08 PM on October 18, 2002

Traitors. All of you.
posted by four panels at 1:09 PM on October 18, 2002

Can I have a "pocket military-industrial complex" so I can whup my neighbor's ass when he mows the lawn at 6:30 AM on a saturday morning?
posted by troutfishing at 1:13 PM on October 18, 2002

I want a Pocket Al Gore... That way if I even feel like publicly humiliating my self, over and over again, I can just look down and remember 'Oh, yeah, that didn't go over to well for you, did it?"
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:21 PM on October 18, 2002

you think all these Pocket Whoevers could be used like little voodoo dolls? If so, I'd like a Pocket Steve Largent please.
posted by tolkhan at 1:22 PM on October 18, 2002

Al Gore nauseates me, as does President Bush in the domestic policy realm. But, helas, life isn't perfect. You gotta chose, and I chose to trust the President in realms other than foreign policy. Because there won't be any "room" for decent environmental policy if the world is controled by nuclear police states. First things first.
posted by ParisParamus at 1:29 PM on October 18, 2002

Erasmus, did you sign up just to post that?

No, though my signing up and my posting that inane statement have the same root cause: It's a boring, boring Friday at work.
posted by Erasmus at 1:36 PM on October 18, 2002

Al Gore nauseates me, as does President Bush in the domestic policy realm. But, helas, life isn't perfect. You gotta chose, and I chose to trust the President in realms other than foreign policy.

Did I misread, or did you say you don't like him in either domestic and foreign policy?
posted by Hildago at 1:39 PM on October 18, 2002

It's a boring, boring Friday at work.

word!
posted by mcsweetie at 1:40 PM on October 18, 2002

Funny post, thank you josephtate.
I like this part:
A Special Message for the Rich and Powerful

Greetings!

Kindly ignore what you've been reading on the Pocket President web site; it's simply designed to stir up the masses and make them think they can actually make a difference.

Now you, on the other hand, are a titan of industry, a controller of wealth, or possibly Dick Cheney himself. And what better way to remind friends, family, and co-workers that you actually have the President in your pocket than with the easy-to-display Pocket President!

Imagine the hilarity at your next Board of Directors meeting when the discussion turns to how your multinational corporation can bend Washington to your will, and you bust up the room by pulling back your suit coat to reveal George W. Bush in your pocket!

And then, as the laughter subsides, you casually pick up the phone, dial the White House, and the President himself is immediately heard on the speakerphone obeying your every wish and command! Who's a master of the Universe? You are, baby!

That's right, you the man! I mean, you really are "The Man!"

Regards,

Your pals at pocketpresident.com

I ♥ pocket president
posted by elwoodwiles at 1:49 PM on October 18, 2002

Is that a president in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
posted by Ogre Lawless at 2:03 PM on October 18, 2002

I have a banana in my pocket.
posted by camworld at 2:04 PM on October 18, 2002

Heh heh heh... I have one of these...
posted by bubukaba at 4:14 PM on October 18, 2002

I like Pocket Congress - it folds in half at the first sign of resistance.
posted by owillis at 4:57 PM on October 18, 2002

I got your pocket president... right HERE.
posted by Galvatron at 6:28 PM on October 18, 2002

Using the euphemism generator, my Pocket President is phoning the BIG STIFF ELVES! Bet I'll get some action real soon (I'm just not sure what kind. Hold me, I'm very afraid.).
posted by Wulfgar! at 8:30 PM on October 18, 2002

Hildalgo: you are correct, sir. Except I mean't the opposite (at least consciously).
posted by ParisParamus at 5:35 AM on October 19, 2002