October 23, 2002

9:46 AM

I must keep on the move. I must not allow them to stop me or trace my whereabouts. I must keep on the move. I must not allow them to stop me or trace my whereabouts. I have set the date for the release in the future to allow time to build publicity. With the worlds full attention, these secret agencies or privately run factions cannot deny or lie to the public about what I will reveal. This smacks of hoax, but I'm leaving the final decision on that up to you.
posted by bryanzera (85 comments total)

what I've discovered must be given to the world

But not all that soon. Sparkle sparkle! Sounds like someone trying to kick start a meme to me.
posted by robself at 9:52 AM on October 23, 2002

"This smacks of hoax"????

Jesus Christ
posted by matteo at 9:57 AM on October 23, 2002

(Once again) How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
posted by BentPenguin at 9:57 AM on October 23, 2002

On March 8: 1894 New York passes 1st state dog license law; 1913 Internal Revenue Service begins to levy & collect income taxes;
1979 1st extraterrestrial volcano discovered (Jupiter's satellite Io); and 1983 IBM releases PC DOS version 2.0. Also, March 8 is Cotton Carnival Day in Memphis, TN, and birthdate of Freddie Prinze Jr.
posted by quam at 9:59 AM on October 23, 2002

This guy needs attention like I need a hole in my head.
posted by waldo at 9:59 AM on October 23, 2002

Freddie Prinze Jr.? shit, this goes all the way to the top.
posted by robself at 10:00 AM on October 23, 2002

*sits by computer, staring at screen*

*waits*
posted by ColdChef at 10:02 AM on October 23, 2002

sounds like an ufo alien thing to me - maybe the camera was burnt by lasers as the photographer was hoisted into the ship?

maybe they're pictures of bush and osama camping?

i can't wait to find out!
posted by ggggarret at 10:03 AM on October 23, 2002

Registrant:
Registration Private
Domains by Proxy, Inc.
15111 N Hayden Rd., Suite 160
PMB353
Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
United States

Oooh, spooky.

*makes note in day planner*
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:04 AM on October 23, 2002

Gabbo!
posted by pemulis at 10:05 AM on October 23, 2002

"We need to discuss why you used particular words on the net search engine this evening."

uh huh....

Also, if the gubmint was checking the net search engine for keywords would they really allow him to put up this sad sack site ?
posted by zeoslap at 10:07 AM on October 23, 2002

Not enough typos to be credible. Plus:

I have set the date for the release in the future to allow time to build publicity.

and later...

I know there will be those of you who will judge this to be some sort of fantastic publicity stunt.

You, sir, are an idiot.
posted by xiffix at 10:07 AM on October 23, 2002

Bigfoot rapes kittens! Astonishing photos! News at 11:00...
posted by camworld at 10:07 AM on October 23, 2002

Well, thanks to this link I learned something new today.

I checked out the domain registration too, and found the Domains by Proxy site. Happily, that service appears to be a solution to the problem I've been facing about a site needing anonymity.

Thanks bryanzera for the unexpected help.
posted by Argyle at 10:08 AM on October 23, 2002

sounds like an ufo alien thing to me - maybe the camera was burnt by lasers as the photographer was hoisted into the ship?

maybe they're pictures of bush and osama camping?

Nah, I'm still here so I don't think so... :-(

"Bush & Osama Camping"
"UFO Alien Thing"
posted by bifter at 10:08 AM on October 23, 2002

Because posting these shocking pictures would generate no publicity at all... hmmmm
posted by zeoslap at 10:08 AM on October 23, 2002

Obviously, this is further evidence of the Warfin conspiracy, as previously outlined here

JohnBigBooty
posted by Pressed Rat at 10:09 AM on October 23, 2002

At first, I assumed this had to be a joke or publicity stunt - until I came to this

After a few minutes the cursor suddenly started moving by itself, followed by a 'whirring' noise from the hard-disk. I froze with anticipation and by the time I thought to unplug the phone line it had stopped. I had never experienced anything like this before, but I'd been told by a friend that if the cursor ever moved by itself and there was a 'whirring' from the hard-drive, they were the sure signs that indicated someone was hacking into my computer.

Well, as I was reading that line, my cursor started moving and I heard a 'whirring' noise from my hard-disk. I think they must have hacked me just for accessing that site. I don't know what to do know. Should I go into hiding? Should I wait for the people in the black van so I can explain to them that I don't know anything? I really don't know, but whatever you do - don't click on that link. It may be too late for me, but you can still save yourselves.
posted by willnot at 10:10 AM on October 23, 2002

You've just given this idiot what he wants.

While it may not be as bad as Time Magazine putting the DC Sniper on the cover (which they will surely do once he is identified) all you're doing is encoraging more if this nonsense.
posted by bondcliff at 10:11 AM on October 23, 2002

Thats it! This is a viral advertisement for "Domains by Proxy" The registrar of choice for paranoids, real and imagined
posted by BentPenguin at 10:12 AM on October 23, 2002

Matt, save us

Please?
posted by matteo at 10:14 AM on October 23, 2002

I find your ideas intriguing and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
posted by RylandDotNet at 10:14 AM on October 23, 2002

I'll bet it's a Major Corporation, one that still thinks guerrilla marketing on the web is the way to reel in the savvy, urban youth market.
posted by risenc at 10:14 AM on October 23, 2002

Gee, I hope it's a transportation device that will change change the way cities are designed...
posted by jpburns at 10:14 AM on October 23, 2002

Seems like a brilliant low budget ad campaign for the next "X-Files", but I'm buying a pallet load of cans of Goya black beans to restock my secret fallout shelter, just in case.
posted by troutfishing at 10:14 AM on October 23, 2002

Sorry about the repeated word. My cursor started moving and I heard a 'whirring' noise from my hard-disk.
posted by jpburns at 10:15 AM on October 23, 2002

Maybe this guy was successful after all and really screwed things up.
posted by joemaller at 10:16 AM on October 23, 2002

God damnit. Is Dean Kamen acting up again?
posted by tittergrrl at 10:16 AM on October 23, 2002

Wow! Maybe someday there will be a MOVIE about this!

They could use a cool underground marketing campaign - just like the Blair Witch Project!
posted by Stuart_R at 10:16 AM on October 23, 2002

I hope Matt doesn't kill this thread, because sooner or later some bright MeFi'ite is going to track down whatever movie this is promoting.
posted by SiW at 10:16 AM on October 23, 2002

Can someone go and photoshop into that picture of the negatives and see what is there? I mean, you should be able to pick up some latent images if they're actual picture negatives that were messed up..

and maybe you can do a CSI and get a reflection of someone taking the picture of the negatives.

That would be so cool.
posted by rich at 10:17 AM on October 23, 2002

Surely this has something to do with Alan Hale, Jr.'s (the skipper from Gilligan's Island) birthday being March 8th.

Perhaps the film contains evidence that he and Bob Denver were lovers?
posted by rbellon at 10:18 AM on October 23, 2002

bondcliff - I want to encourage more of this nonsense. The Internet NEEDS more of this nonsense. It's obviously not real - it's probably a marketing gimmick, so it really isn't anywhere nears as great as something like timecube. Still, man can't live by simultaneous 4-day time cube alone, and this will certainly do in a pinch.
posted by willnot at 10:19 AM on October 23, 2002

"An astounding discovery will be revealed!"

Sounds like he's discovered an amazing chemical compound that can make any car's old, oxidized finish sparkle like new!
posted by BobFrapples at 10:19 AM on October 23, 2002

or better yet - try and lift the guy's fingerprints from that picture of him holding the lens, then have someone run them through the fingerprint database.

I definately have been watching too much CSI.
posted by rich at 10:20 AM on October 23, 2002

rich - I just did that with Photoshop. My God - I think it's aliens. They look like they're made out of colourful blocks! (kinda like pixels)
posted by Stuart_R at 10:20 AM on October 23, 2002

I thought it was kindof cool in a stupid sort of way up to the part where he said his cursor started moving and so he knew he was hacked... S T U P I D.
posted by muppetboy at 10:21 AM on October 23, 2002

A guy posted a message saying he couldn't understand why the person who tried to destroy the camera, didn't simply remove the film and expose it to light - an astute and sensible observation. Since posting this site I have restored some of the more severely damaged negatives, and I can now tell you that the camera was NOT thrown onto a fire and it was NOT scorched in a forest inferno. Once you see the images you will understand; things are not always as they seem. Be patient and all will be revealed.

Or...."Somebody called me on my shit, so now I'm backtracking and have just taken my target audience from 18-25 down to 8-12. George Lucas is so going to have my ass for this."

and willnot rules for his first post.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:24 AM on October 23, 2002

After looking at the negatives up close and through different processes, I'm going to say that there's nothing on them at all. "But don't take my word for it."
posted by Hall at 10:25 AM on October 23, 2002

My first thought was "oh great, the time cube guy is at it again."
posted by Hall at 10:26 AM on October 23, 2002

This is so going to be Goatse.
posted by Succa at 10:31 AM on October 23, 2002

I'll suggest that any one waiting for the revelation should try out all the translations (top of page) to see if they work ... that'll make it worth your wait ;-)
posted by taratan at 10:31 AM on October 23, 2002

All your scoffers have been warned -prepare to suffer the same fate as Frau Gobbels
posted by Pressed Rat at 10:36 AM on October 23, 2002

It's a promotion for something. I don't know what though, but maybe somebody can help with some digging. If you look at the image of the melted negatives you can see some information. For instance, there are fragments of frames 20, 21 and 22. At the edge of the film strip there's encoded information which I assume can be used to track down the batch and date of manufacture of the film.

It'd be entertaining to determine the date and start up a grass-roots campaign to deflate this publicity stunt.

On preview I agree that the negatives are blank, I went through a variety of image enhancement algorithms on them and came up with nothing.
posted by substrate at 10:36 AM on October 23, 2002

Let me be the first to welcome our new Domains By Proxy overlords.
posted by luriete at 10:38 AM on October 23, 2002

If it is a promotion, my guess is that it's for the completely inane-looking movie The Core. This movie will be released the weekend of the 8th.

From IMDB:

Scientists discover that the Earth's core is about to stop spinning. This will cause tremendous natural disasters, wiping out life as we know it. A team of scientists is recruited in a crash project to send a ship and bomb into the center of the Earth to prevent the catastrophe.
posted by BoatMeme at 10:44 AM on October 23, 2002

Is there any way to verify that those mirrored servers of his are even geographically located where he says they are?
posted by gsteff at 10:54 AM on October 23, 2002

I know what's on the negatives!

"A series of humorous cartoons, never before seen on Metafilter..."
posted by bondcliff at 10:54 AM on October 23, 2002

Sounds like the
Planet X/Nibiru thing.
posted by blogRot at 10:55 AM on October 23, 2002

Let's see. Burnt, dirt encrusted camera smashed open to the elements. And the film is still developable. I've got it! A new fangled roll of film!! A Fuji conspiracy! "Back away from that film, Bud. It still needs marketing hype," said the woman as she stepped from the van.
posted by entrustNoOne at 10:56 AM on October 23, 2002

'All your scoffers have been warned -prepare to suffer the same fate as Frau Gobbels'
All your scoffers are belong to us?
---------
*sits by computer, staring at screen*
*waits*
posted by ColdChef at 10:02 AM PST on October 23

Is evanizer coming back?
*ducks*
posted by i_cola at 10:59 AM on October 23, 2002

Hmmmm... I think Bent Penguin is right. (How I got there: while inspecting this image I viewed source and got the image src "/camerabackmedium.jpg" and typed in http://www.8march2003.com/camerabacklarge.htm to see if they had a bigger image sitting there. The page not found source linked to godaddy.com boasting about a service for sites needing anonymity. $Ms.JaneDoe=="loser") Though this seems like an awfully clever thing for these folks to think of if true.
posted by Ms.JaneDoe at 10:59 AM on October 23, 2002

Is there any way to verify that those mirrored servers of his are even geographically located where he says they are?

That was a really silly question. Those servers don't even exist. They're just text that links to a page on the original server. Those domain names aren't even registered.

And I think this is just a guy trying to start a meme. Movie publicity would be better written and more detailed and would look better, I think.
posted by gsteff at 11:01 AM on October 23, 2002

I put an AFDB on my Time Cube to keep Art Bell's minions from throwing me in the Bottomless Hole.

posted by Dillenger69 at 11:03 AM on October 23, 2002

Maybe it's just Jesus, with his heat-ray vision, angrily returning to whup ass and get his brother's bone-box back?

Hey, just as plausible as any OTHER explanation I've heard so far...
posted by FilmMaker at 11:06 AM on October 23, 2002

gsteff: all those domains are registered through godaddy.com
posted by xiffix at 11:09 AM on October 23, 2002

AHAHAHAHAHAH.... heh...

Stupid fool who "must not let his identify be known" just happened to take a photograph of his own hand - complete with fingerprints clearly visible.
posted by Maxor at 11:11 AM on October 23, 2002

THis HAS to be related to Time Cube
posted by Fahrenheit at 11:12 AM on October 23, 2002

March 8, 2003 is a saturday. Any movie trying to generate record shattering opening weekend sales would never open on a saturday, so if it's a movie, the best bet would be the following...

The Day before, according to imdb, a movie called The Core will be released. The premise? The earth's core stops spinning, what's Hilary Swank to do?

More importantly, how can this keep negatives from being destroyed by the sun? If these negatives are sun proof, they're probably invincible to this guy's darkroom chemicals as well...
posted by devo at 11:17 AM on October 23, 2002

I then remembered a friend telling me that everything on the net is scanned at a classified central processing agency.

I need to get me one of those.
posted by DrJohnEvans at 11:28 AM on October 23, 2002

He never said the negatives were exposed to the sun:

Overwhelmed with curiosity and excited anticipation, I immediately took the camera to my darkroom. I had to pry the back open with a screwdriver as the plastic section of the outer casing had melted then solidified over the cover.
posted by hades at 11:29 AM on October 23, 2002

I don't know about you guys, but gosh, at least I've got something to live for until March 8th.

Smells like a hoax, looks like a hoax, sounds like a hoax? Well then it must be a...?
posted by dazed_one at 11:37 AM on October 23, 2002

OK, my final decision is - bollocks! Of course, if Frau Gobbels had had the AFDB she wouldn't have been sucked into that other dimension...
posted by Pressed Rat at 11:42 AM on October 23, 2002

I think it's a strapless evening gown.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:00 PM on October 23, 2002

As a practitioner of these techniques, the key is always to treat it as an exercise in epidemiology -- look for patient zero.
posted by bclark at 12:06 PM on October 23, 2002

As a practitioner of these techniques, the key is always to treat it as an exercise in epidemiology -- look for patient zero.

If Jimbo's hotmail address contains his zip code, he's from Collins, Iowa, which has a population of about 500 according to the 2000 census.
posted by hilker at 12:23 PM on October 23, 2002

"Aaannd... scene."

(Thanks, bclark.)
posted by *burp* at 12:30 PM on October 23, 2002

Wouldn't it be great if once, just once, something like this turned out to be real?
posted by Summer at 12:38 PM on October 23, 2002

Yes, the most interesting aspect is the list of newsgroups he chose to post to ... space science groups, Art Bell fan group, sci fi fan groups, and an independent film group. Not unlike the targeting we Derek Barnes did for a certain "freaky" television show for Fox Television.

And, the most amusing tidbit, the only time he replied to a reply to his posts was to defend a design criticism of the font being too small to read. Vanity will get the designers every time *wink*
posted by bclark at 12:41 PM on October 23, 2002

lol....that's my birthday!!
posted by CrazyJub at 2:44 PM on October 23, 2002

"they'd probably pass me off as a crackpot."

At least part of this guy's claims is believable.
posted by UKnowForKids at 3:08 PM on October 23, 2002

I'm guessing it's got something to do with black choppers or maybe it's a viral marketing teaser for the launch of a fresh new portal site aimed at that internet savvy 20-something market.
posted by stunned at 3:22 PM on October 23, 2002

Who the hell is Frau Gobbels?
Sounds like a good name for a turkey farmer.
posted by Catch at 4:31 PM on October 23, 2002

His last post will be a secret for you to share.

For him: What is you credit card number....

For you: Your now a sucker, not a secret any more...
posted by thomcatspike at 4:38 PM on October 23, 2002

Oooh, I'd have to go with hoax on this one. Look at the piece of film in the lower right of negativesmedium.jpg. They're numbered 20 and 21. Note the burn mark on the right edge of 21. The top portion of that frame is very badly burnt, while the lower half is fairly undamaged. Now, maybe it was luck of the draw, but the lower part of that frame seems to be cut extremely straight-- ie, with scissors.

Look at the four frames of film at the top of the image. Those are numbered 22, 23, 24, 25. Logically, this piece would've been connected to the other piece of film in the bottom-- the left edge of 22 would've been connected to the right edge of 21. Notice, though, that the top-left edge of 22 received none of the damage the top-right edge of 21 did. In fact, the top-left edge of 22 seems to be very straight as well-- again, as if it were cut with scissors.

The only reason to cut negatives into chunks is so they can be stored in one of those plastic sleeves for protection. Look at the leftmost piece of film. It has a perfectly straight cut-- it's even right in the middle of the space between the two frames! One could argue it may be the beginning or the end of the roll, but anyone who's developed their own film before knows that the beginning of a roll has a leader tab on it, and the end of a roll is never exposed. Not only that, it's very difficult to cut a perfectly straight line in a darkroom.

That would indicate to me, that this film was developed prior to being burnt. In fact, I'd have to say it wasn't even developed by an amateur, it was probably done at a photo hut somewhere.

I can't wait to see which movie this is for! *rolls eyes*
posted by bailey_ca at 5:08 PM on October 23, 2002

Hey, wait a minute...THAT'S MY CAMERA!

I was shooting some photos when the strap broke, causing the camera to bounce a couple times and skitter into a pile of dog poop. Cursing my luck, I tried to clean up my camera with the most readily available item on hand, which was a cigarette lighter. That only made things worse, so I threw the entire mess off a cliff...

If anyone bothered to grab that messed-up pile o' junk, they deserved whatever happened to them.
posted by Smart Dalek at 6:31 PM on October 23, 2002

Nice work bailey_ca.
posted by jacknose at 7:13 PM on October 23, 2002

Even worse -- gasp -- is that he used FrontPage to create all or part of this site. Take a look at the HTML on the page used to display the negatives, and you'll find plenty of mstheme "tags" all over the place. Must be rough being on the lam, forced to find Internet cafés that also have FrontPage installed.

This thing reaks of low-budget, all the way to the alternate four domains being "parked" at Go Daddy.
posted by RKB at 9:27 PM on October 23, 2002

God damnit. Is Dean Kamen acting up again?

My first thought too, tittergrrl. It's going to be a gyroscopic personal scooter!
posted by lelilo at 9:36 PM on October 23, 2002

Yes, good points bailey_ca, and the others who have me convinced this is just a low-budget, poorly executed movie promo or vanity site.

[off topic]

Unless I missed one earlier, I would just like to be the first to welcome our new 17k overlords.
posted by yhbc at 9:39 PM on October 23, 2002

Is this via Fark ??
posted by johnny7 at 10:02 PM on October 23, 2002

This was a pretty good summary of google related games ...... but obviously it needs to be amended to include the difficult-to-achieve, dangerous, but ultimately life-changing Google-whirring!

Obviously all you need to do is enter a combination of words into google that result in uncontrolled cursor movement and hard drive whirring and soon the secret service (or your local equivalent) will personally deliver your special prize!
posted by urban greeting at 2:45 AM on October 24, 2002

Ar'mageddon outta here 7 March. Watch this domain to find out where!
posted by infowar at 6:59 PM on October 24, 2002

It looks like the perpetrator may be this guy; he seems to have been the first one to post to a news group about it (here), quickly followed by "jimbo" with a hotmail address, who carries on...

But message IDs show the same origin: gintilas :: jimbo.
posted by taz at 8:37 AM on November 7, 2002