October 30, 2002

12:24 PM

"Kmart Forever is a community gathering place for employees, retirees, friends, family and supporters of Kmart. Kmart started this site after receiving thousands of emails, calls and letters from people like you asking how they can help support the company. We all want to do what we can to make sure Kmart is with us well into the future."
Of course, such blatant PR cheerleading is bound to be parodied by those of the opposing view -- witness Kmartsucks.net's innovative design.
posted by me3dia (10 comments total)

Kmart Sucks was one of the first high-profile cases of a company going trying to censor a critical website. An archival copy of the original site can be found here.

Also, KmartForever.com has inspired a good deal of vitriol over at FuckedCompany.com. FC's patrons are fond of the F word, so it's probably not worksafe.
posted by me3dia at 12:25 PM on October 30, 2002

"Nearly 45 percent of U.S. households shop Kmart each week."

And Jesse Helms is an African American actor in Hollywood.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 12:32 PM on October 30, 2002

I started this site for entertainment purposes, with the hopes that I could get into the pants of a few broads that work at Kmart.

With cutting-edge humour like altering the company logo to read "K-Fart", I have no doubt he will succeed. Girls can't resist that stuff.
posted by Fabulon7 at 12:38 PM on October 30, 2002

I don't know if it was ever a high-profile case, BestBuySux.org has been fighting BestBuy for years. They have been sued a couple times. It is a board filled with stories from former and current BB employees, about how freaking weird that company is. I worked at a BestBuy in high school, and I tell you most of the stories are true... the store culture is very weird.
[/derail]
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 1:02 PM on October 30, 2002

There are some pretty bizarre testimonials on that site:

Kmart... land of adventure

I remember when I was young, and first walked into a Kmart. It was like a strange new world, filled with mysterious passageways into the unknown. I explored the store for hours that day, never knowing what I would find around the next corner. Would it be a fire-breathing dragon? A portal into another realm? Or just a rack of ladies undergarments at affordable prices? I didn't know, and that's what made it so exciting. I ran home that night and told all of my friends about this new fantasy land called Kmart. The next day we all went exploring together, played hide and seek, had a scavenger hunt, and unanimously decided we wanted to live in a Kmart for the rest of our lives. And for a time we did, going there on weekends and after school. We grew up in the well stocked aisles of our local Kmart. And in a way that's hard to describe, Kmart lived in all of us and always would. When we grew older, we had to turn to other outlets, like Dungeons and Dragons and computer role playing games to get that same thrill that Kmart gave us. I only hope todays generation of kids aren't denied what we had when we were young. Something surely would die inside of me, and the heart of many a child, if Kmart was no more...

From: Dan
Email: [e-mail]
Date: 9.25.2002

posted by rcade at 1:10 PM on October 30, 2002

How dare a company try to boost the morale of its 200,000 employees during a difficult time! I can't believe that KMart has the nerve to put out a pro-KMart site! They should put out their own site called "kmartsucks.com" and just say what a bad, bad company they are, how they pray for the sweet relief that will come when they're finally liquidated, and how nice those unemployment checks will be for their 200,000 employees.
posted by pardonyou? at 1:12 PM on October 30, 2002

Dear K-Mart 4ever: I used to work at your store, but things didn't work out between us. I just want you to know that even tho things are just perfect for me right now, i'm still waiting for the money you owe me. I don't want to be an asshole, it's just that Xmas is coming up and i need to add an elevator to my smokehouse. Please send me my $. Kind Regards, Martha Stewart (Cc. Sammy)
posted by DenOfSizer at 2:31 PM on October 30, 2002

'Parenting Lessons From the Checkout Line at Kmart' was the first title Doug Peine thought of for his book.

Hoo Boy! I'll be sure to buy a copy of that book!

And all those message board nay-sayers better hope they don't get a visit from these people!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 2:55 PM on October 30, 2002

KMART RULZ!
i like all the toys they have, all the games and shirts, it's great, never quit, or i will cry!
From: Dick Fitzwell
Email: [e-mail]

This one is sublime. Really.
posted by Fabulon7 at 3:58 PM on October 30, 2002

Sorry...can't stop...
My very first blue light special...
My momma used say, "Don't you be stoppin' to tie no shoes, Jackson. You get yo-self over to that blue light special quick." And I would, running as fast as I could through the various K-Mart departments, hoping to be first on the scene. We would be large quantities of whatever was being sold, just so we could walk proudly out the store, knowing we'd trumped everyone by getting the best deal going. Momma died a couple years ago. In one of her last trips to K-mart with me, I remember her saying, "They sell frozen food here now, Jackson? Shoot, if a chicken dips snuff, you better look up under the can and see if it was on sale!" She didn't make much sense anymore, but you should have seen her eyes light up for a blue light special! Man, that woman had gumption.
From: Jackson Mulgrew
Email: [e-mail]
posted by Fabulon7 at 4:02 PM on October 30, 2002