Hey Kids! Add your greeting to a mass telegram (meta-gram?) being assembled by a British website to wish Prince William a Happy 18th Birthday!

June 15, 2000 10:31 AM

Hey Kids! Add your greeting to a mass telegram (meta-gram?) being assembled by a British website to wish Prince William a Happy 18th Birthday!
Nice to know that the newfangled internet is being put to good use in support of England's embarassingly obsolete monarchy. But then, I suspect some of you more opinionated MetaFilterers would probably have some especially entertaining "greetings" to add to the mix...
posted by wendell (15 comments total)

I added : Great Oppertunities and Fortune. Until you are Crowned King, You Ought to Understand Royality and Should Embrace the Love of Friends.

Hopefully it gets added. Pay attention to just the capitalized letters. :)
posted by Zebulun at 10:54 AM on June 15, 2000

What did he ever do to you? Besides being rich, famous and handsome, I mean. It's not his fault he was born a royal.
posted by lbergstr at 11:09 AM on June 15, 2000

*sigh* like the kid hasn't been through enough.
posted by EricBrooksDotCom at 11:19 AM on June 15, 2000

Yeah, I say we hire a prostitute for him. He's 18 and all...
posted by plinth at 11:37 AM on June 15, 2000

Prostitute? Hell, we should send him Britney Spears in a catwoman outfit...
posted by Jeremy at 11:50 AM on June 15, 2000

Please. Like the British royal family wouldn't know where to find experienced, discreet companions without the public's help. (Not that they've always had the sense to limit themselves to such, of course.)
posted by harmful at 12:21 PM on June 15, 2000

harmful, you're saying they have a service on speed dial, right?
posted by plinth at 12:33 PM on June 15, 2000

Not necessarily "speed dial", but I'm sure someone on staff keeps track of whom to call for special "services" (sexual favors, contraband goods, wet work, etc.) of all kinds. Just in case. In my opinion, it would seem prudent to satisfy the young prince's desires, curiosity, hormones, etc. discreetly, in the hopes of heading off future scandal.
posted by harmful at 12:39 PM on June 15, 2000

Besides, I think Bill Clinton forgot his "Little Black Book" there at his last visit. :0)
posted by EricBrooksDotCom at 1:06 PM on June 15, 2000

Indeed.

"Wet work", eh? I'm *not* even going there..

So, is the Prince friends with Craig Shergold?
posted by baylink at 2:29 PM on June 15, 2000

1-800-CON-CUBI-NE (where the "NE" is for "NEthing")

I hope to God they let him choose his own girl. They're getting a bit more lenient, but Lord, if they'd just let Bonnie Prince Charlie marry the girl of his dreams back in 1975 everybody would be so much happier. But no. This one was Catholic, that one wasn't royal enough, and so on.
posted by dhartung at 12:35 AM on June 16, 2000

I can't forget the story that went around at the time that the reason Prince Charles married Diana was that the Royal Rules required the bride be a virgin, and Chuck had already personally disqualified several better candidates (In retrospect, I have to believe the British Royals would've found a way to ignore that rule...)
posted by wendell at 1:09 AM on June 16, 2000

Also, that story makes Charles out to be more of a stud than I'm used to thinking of him as.
posted by lbergstr at 1:14 AM on June 16, 2000

On sceond thought, forget anything I said about the Royals and < ahref="http://news.excite.com/news/r/000616/08/odd-gunshot-dc">discretion.
posted by harmful at 7:44 AM on June 16, 2000

On third thought, forget anything I said about the Royals and discretion, or my ability to type.

posted by harmful at 7:51 AM on June 16, 2000